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Offlinequarkyquasar
Happy FluffyBunny

Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 310
Loc: NorCaL
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
The raving lunatic thread!
    #3272184 - 10/24/04 06:38 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I did it again.
All was well this week and we were having a great weekend.
Then she got the mail and opened the credit card statement.......
Damnit I was supposed to get the mail yesterday..forgot.
She found out about my new 400 HPS, everquest 2 preorder and my most recent valium purchase.
Oh, and the 100 grams of dried peruvian torch, 1g of salvia 10x, Encapsulating machine, and 4 bags of foxfarm soil.
Ok I know in my heart that I was wrong. No doubt about it.
But when she got upset and started bitching I just lost it and started yelling back even though I deserved it.
Then I really lost my temper and threw our glass table against the wall and broke it.
She told me to get out, I said no and said she would have to call the police to get me out. She said FINE! (wait honey don't do that, I am sooo sorry....don't make me go to jail...you know what they may find..please be reasonable...SORRY..) She heads for the phone.
I break the phone.
She goes for the other one.
I break that one.
She goes for her car keys, I throw them in the lake.
She asks for a divorce, I say fine!
She storms off into the bedroom with a bottle of Schnapps.
Few minutes later I start to really realize what I have done and break out in tears kicking myself for being such an ass....
Takes me 2 hours to get her to come out and the rest of the day to convince her not to divorce me. ( major ass kissing)
So the end result is I am pitching my tent in the basement with my garden till Friday when I see my psychologist next.
Sucks
Why cant I just keep my mouth shut when I am wrong. All I had to do was sit there and say I am sorry for a few minutes and promise to earn some extra cash to pay it off. But NOOO...I had to be an asshole.
Man.
I need to get high.
But don't have shit to smoke, my valiums got seized by customs and I am broke.
I hate myself today.
I don't even have enough money to go to the campground. And she wont let me sleep out in the yard....Sucks


Edited by quarkyquasar (10/29/04 12:25 AM)


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3272197 - 10/24/04 06:42 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

:lol:

i cant believe i feel sorry for people sometimes.


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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Offlinedruqks46
its dat woowoo
Registered: 09/29/04
Posts: 670
Loc: trees
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: BleaK]
    #3272244 - 10/24/04 06:52 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Stop bein a meany.


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Offlinequarkyquasar
Happy FluffyBunny

Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 310
Loc: NorCaL
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: druqks46]
    #3272255 - 10/24/04 06:57 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Don't need pity or anything. I just need to VENT.
It helps me look back at the situation without emotion clouding my thoughts.
I sure was a dick.


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
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Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3272302 - 10/24/04 07:09 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

as was she. or maybe cunt rather?


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
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Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3272944 - 10/24/04 10:02 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Yes, you were an asshole.  Breaking a table...hm.  BUT your wife sounds like she has a problem with discussing issues calmly, and with maturity.  It does NOBODY any good to scream through a situation like she did when she saw your credit card statement.  It's understandable that you got defensive when she did that. 

I don't know if you guys are already working on improving your communication, but I encourage you to give it a go.  It sounds like you both are letting your ego's get in the way of working things out.  I know, because I used to be the same way with all of my relationships.  Sometimes the most difficult thing in the world is to stay calm when things are going south.  Sometimes a simple "I'm sorry," is the absolute hardest phrase to utter.  And sometimes people don't want to even listen, which causes a problem. 

I hear from your post that you don't really want to fight like that with your wife.  And it sounds like she doesn't want to fight like that with you either.  I suggest you talk to her, and maybe try and arrange a Plan, and a Goal of what you both will do next time either of you feel angry with the other.  It's always a team effort when you're married.  By setting goals, you are creating guidelines of what is acceptable and what isn't, and hopefully that will help you follow them and avoid a bad situation like this later on the road. 

You said you are seeing a psychologist, but what has your wife done to try and help the situation?  Did she HAVE to begin screaming and bitching at you?  I don't think so.  It's easy to pin the blame on one partner, and I find it annoying that you are taking ALL the blame for this.  It takes two to fight in a marriage.  She messed up too, but probably doesn't want to admit it.  That's ego: pride. 

In addition to setting boundaries for disagreements, I suggest you talk to your wife and TELL HER CALMLY how she makes you FEEL whenever she starts getting strongly on your case about something.  Tell her that you FELT defensive when she started doing that about the statements.  Tell her that you take full responsiblity for losing your cool (and spending a lot of money), but as a team effort, you need her to take responsiblity for HER actions and words as well.  You both are in this together.  If she is reasonable, she will sincerely listen to you. 

And you can get through it together.  It's definitely possible to change and learn how to handle anger or frustration better.  Remember to breathe, stop yelling at one another, and speak from your hearts.  :heart:

Good luck, I wish you the best.  :sun:



*me*


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: MOTH]
    #3273008 - 10/24/04 10:22 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Holy fucking shit. That's all I can say about your reaction. But I am not here to judge you at all.

Man, just really think about your priorities and especially how you react to things. Not trying to be threatening at all, nothing like that. C'mon man, it's not too tough to reciprocate this situation. There's no reason to get angry like that, it just makes things shitty for the both of ya.
Sounds like you do need to vent, and you need some time to think things through for a while. Clean up your mess, this is the first thing you should do. I've read your posts and you sound like a decent guy, but this post just shocked me.

From what I gather, it sounds like you know all the right answers. Just put them into play. Make peace with your wife, she's probably heartbroken, and it's evident that you care about her and don't want this shit persisting. If you need any form of help and support then you're at the right place.

Wishin you the very best of luck here. So go fix things while you still can. :sun:


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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Offlinequarkyquasar
Happy FluffyBunny

Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 310
Loc: NorCaL
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: browndustin]
    #3273236 - 10/24/04 11:26 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Wow
Thanks for the awesome heartfelt replies.
I feel extra silly now.
Just on a side note, I don't physically abuse my angel or pets but I did cross a line today. I know its not an excuse, but you may understand how it is when you run out of Valiums when you are hooked.
Not pretty.
I do go to therapy once a week, and see a psychiatrist once a month.
She signed herself up for therapy last week and her first day is Thursday. After she goes a while I will start going and it change into marriage counseling.
Also, her greatest pet peeve is me wracking up credit card debt.
Hang on for this....since we got married 5 years ago I have created a grand total of $28,000 in debt. All but 8,000 has been consolidated into our home...but all our profit is gone now. So you really cant blame her because I PROMISED I would stop...she canceled our last card that was supposed to be for emergencies only.
I get really stoned and like in the middle of the night at 3:00 I start buying stuff off the Internet....

We do love each other so much. But she has been having trouble dealing with my Bipolar swings lately. She got promoted to project manager at the call center and she is under mucho stress combined with working 60 hours a week while I stay home and collect social security and get high. I do make cash on the side selling saltwater corals and veggies in the fall from my garden, along with eBay reselling.
I also have a mantra...I posted it a couple days ago.
Fluffy puppies are good meat... Fluffy puppies are good meat...
Silly one I know but it calms me down because its so silly.

Even if she is wrong getting angry..its OK now that I am more rational because she is the type that holds it in for a long time then explodes. It was actually good for her. She came out of the bedroom again and did apologize to me. And we have made up for the most part. I am still sleeping in the tent though.
I am not a bad guy..I just have bipolar 1 with mixed episodes and psychosis brought on by the weed. (my doc tells me at least?)
And sometimes she cant take it and needs to scream at me.

I called my parents and they are going to take us out to dinner on Tuesday and talk about me staying with them for a month or 2. Not sure if that's a good idea or not but they think she need some space.
I am 27 and she is 26 by the way.
Well, thanks for the help, it was real nice and sorry about the long post.


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OfflineMrBump
Third prize is you're fired
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Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: browndustin]
    #3273238 - 10/24/04 11:27 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

you should look into anger management classes, maybe???

you really flew of the handle man.
at least you didnt hit her.


--------------------
If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

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Offlinekoppie
astral projectile
Male

Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2,653
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Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3274551 - 10/25/04 09:58 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

>> Man.
>> I need to get high.

I think that that's your problem. Getting high because you want to is cool, but when you do it because you have to, and when you lash out when that part of your life is threatened, it's time to lay off the stuff for a while. I know, it's easier said than done, but moments like these when you feel like shit, are the best learning experiences. If you blank these out with weed or valium or whatever, you'll miss out, and chances are that you're doomed to repeat the same scene over and over again.


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Offlinethenewuser
LSA Guy :-)

Registered: 10/10/04
Posts: 1,811
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3274563 - 10/25/04 10:07 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

So you hid this stuff from your wife? Don't do that. :wink:


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Offlinequarkyquasar
Happy FluffyBunny

Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 310
Loc: NorCaL
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: thenewuser]
    #3274991 - 10/25/04 01:19 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

ya I hid it, Selfish bastard I am.
Oh I know I need to quit the drugs....my doctors are both addiction specialists, and I have been in rehab twice. My original addiction was coke then crack then meth. I have worked it down to just weed, Valiums and cactus. You cant just quit Valiums by the way...it can kill you dead fast. I learned that the hard way last year after I went to the emergency room with seizures. Now if I want to quit I need to go to the hospital for a diazepam drip taper off for a week or two. Not fun, and I am not ready yet. I know drugs are causing alot if not most of the problems...god I know that. I will never get better if I don't quit.


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Offlinefungigal
lonely gal
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 45
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3276000 - 10/25/04 06:16 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I was glad to hear that you realize that you are the one in the wrong. From what you say I bet this is not the first time you have run the card up. Both of you need someone to vent to. Control seems to be a problem for you both. You need to learn how to control you drug habit and she needs to learn to control her emotions and try to understand that you have a problem.


--------------------
shrooming is a way of life


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InvisibleSubGen1us
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Registered: 11/26/02
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Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3278421 - 10/26/04 08:02 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Damn this thread makes me sick.
this is my first post in pysical and mental health i think but what kind of advise is going on here.
U do drugs.
everyone fuking does.
ur woman has to learn to deal with it.
u are on the far end of the whip buddy.
i hope ur not to far gone.
drugs are u.
its ur life.
there is nothing wrong with it.
shes grown up in a society being completely against it.
thats her problem. she brainwashed and she taking u down with her.
be happy man. live life.
u spend money so what.
i mean cmon its only money.
why dont u just pay ur bills anyways.
i have a hard time understanding where peoples money goes.
i know people that make more money than me but are broke and dont have shit.
im in a little debt i guess. but nothing i couldnt pay off in a few months.
drugs arent causing ur problems.
her not likeing drugs is.
what ive learned is dont fight the women.
just ignore.
let her go in the other room and cool off.
treat the like godessess no matter how pissed they get at u.
they will fell so bad and love u more.
eventually they will let u do what u want.
i understand breaking things though.
im a victim of many broken doors and bloody knuckles.
once she starts to accept u for u then ur life will become better.
what did she fall in love with?


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Offlinekoppie
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Registered: 07/23/04
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Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3278427 - 10/26/04 08:06 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Sounds like you're moving in the right direction, even if you still have a long way to go. I hope that things will work out for you both.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: SubGen1us]
    #3278488 - 10/26/04 09:03 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

thats a good post and all, but this man clearly KNOWS he has a problem with drugs, hes so hooked to valium that if he just up and quits he will go into a seizure and could die, and loses his temper to the point of breaking things.  its not like he is just dabbling with a lil pot and shrooms here and there, its a real prob where he's gone to rehab and counseling. otherwise, what u said is straight.

my 2 cents?  follow that big heart of yours bro, you know what to do.  learn from your mistakes.  when that shit goes down with me i just hurry up quick and run out the door before i lose my shit, usually slam the mother fucker, but thats better than breaking stuff and punching the wall and havin to pay for it later, you know?  punch the fuck out of the ground or something(watch out for lil rocks! that shit hurts)  I realize some women love to argue, so if yours is the type to follow you out the door and continue it outside by the neighbors, then heh, im sorry bro, that does suck.  but shows she needs to work on her anger as well.  Just remember, people have done worse.  but thats no excuse to keep fuckin up of course, but yeah, you know what to do, just do it.  keep your cool, and if you cant and on the verge of snapping back, just get out of the house dude, and dont come back until you are calm....your wife should be good by then too, to where you can think about what your going to say and stuff in a calm way...and remember man, be honest from here on out, or else use your own cash.(earn it BEFORE, not LATER)

oh yeah...credit cards are trouble... :wink:  ill never get one of them bitches, if u aint got the cheese for it up front, then you dont need it.


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InvisibleSubGen1us
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Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: ]
    #3278496 - 10/26/04 09:13 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Shit im sorry, im drunk as hell right now and couldnt stop posting everywhere.
i just had a flashback of my woman freaking out on me.


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Offlinequarkyquasar
Happy FluffyBunny

Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 310
Loc: NorCaL
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: SubGen1us]
    #3279353 - 10/26/04 02:23 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

It all good!
I feel those same things man. I wish she would just smoke a LITTLE weed once in a while. But she made her choice a long time ago to JUST SAY NO! And nothing I say will change that and I now respect her for it even if it frustrates me. I give up on that.
And she married a StOneD motherfucker! We got married at sandals Negril in Jamaica. I smoked a huge cone of this lime green dank 30 minutes before we said the vows on the beach. I was so cheesed. I ate 3 grams of shrooms the next day and went snorkeling with her. So she knew she was buying into a druggie, I had already gone to rehab at that point for the coke and meth and she knew it. That's where I got my first taste of Valiums unfortunately. They really need to stop prescribing that shit. After I got out I self medicated it further. But I stray.
Things are going better. Actually better than it has gone in a LONG time. She really needed to let that pent up rage at me out. She even let me back in bed...Whoop! :doggystyle:
No matter how much things seem bad and one of us thinks of quitting..we do love each other more than anything else in this world..She is my guardian angel sent from heaven. She saved my life more than once. I need to get my shit together a bit more, and swallow my pride and accept my whipped status and just love. The makeup sex is almost worth the broken table and time spent in the tent! :devil:
Peace


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Invisiblefunkymonk
Get's down, withthe get-down.
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Registered: 11/29/02
Posts: 8,160
Loc: saskatchewan
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: quarkyquasar]
    #3279424 - 10/26/04 02:41 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Your obviously not mature enough to be in a marriage.


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Offlinequarkyquasar
Happy FluffyBunny

Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 310
Loc: NorCaL
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: I Screamed and yelled at my wife for no reason....Pitching tent in basement.... [Re: funkymonk]
    #3279498 - 10/26/04 02:57 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I don't appreciate that comment.
I am immature yes, and so is she. But we are young and growing/maturing together. Our love is real. We will solve our problems together.


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