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Invisibleidiotek
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Registered: 02/06/04
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my worst trip.
    #3271491 - 10/24/04 03:18 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I had portioned out two doses of shrooms for myself and my girlfriend, but I made an error in judgement of the dose sizes. I counted out 5 nicely sized mushrooms for her.. and 6 for me, but the ones I ate were a bit bigger, and so the mass of fungus I had consumed was certainly a couple of grams higher than what she ate.

I had previously not eaten for approximately 6 hours and had ingested a vicodin around 2 hours before. I believe that to be a mistake, especially on an empty stomach.


The onset of the trip was very fast, faster than I've ever experienced in fact. It took about 15 minutes for me to feel the first effects, that anxious "coming up" that quickly accelerated into a full-blown trip. Within an hour I was tripping my balls off, my face pressed against her bed while I looked at her. My vision was divided, half of it a view of my girl and the other half covered by the bed. The half that was darkened by the bed seemed to be staring into the depths of a kaleidescope at this point, so I felt like closing my eyes for a while.

Within an hour and 45 minutes, roughly, I began to sweat. I was in a complete state of bewilderment and obviously tripping much harder than my girl. She began to worry, and helped me remove one of my shirts in order to keep me cooled off. An overall uneasiness was creeping into my brain at this point, the sweating emphasizing my physical discomfort. Mentally, however, I was in no shape to voice my malfunction. I had no idea what was wrong with me or why I was sweating, nor that I was about to puke. This is when things REALLY started going wrong.

I stood up abruptly, practically disregarding my girlfriend sitting next to me, and staggered down a darkened hallway into their bathroom. As I stared at myself in the mirror there, attempting to assure myself that all was well and any bad vibes were simply in my head, I finally perceived what my body had been trying to prepare itself for all along: I needed to vomit.

I promptly crouched before the porcelain throne, took a moment to breathe - like before you dive into deep water - and simply let go. My stomach churned a moment before rejecting its contents, a few caps and stems and some very acidic orange juice that burned at my throat and esophagus. As this happened, my trip seemed to intensify. I felt as though I were sinking into abysmal depths, which I believe to have been a need for sleep. Minutes earlier, I had sweated through both of my shirts, leaving them soaked, so I must have been at least somewhat dehydrated. My now crying girlfriend was outside the bathroom door (which I had locked inadvertantly) worrying a great deal about me. As I emerged from there, she greeted me with a touch on the face and a cold glass of ice water..

if she hadn't been there I would have gone over the deep end.

I couldn't really speak, my brain was overloading, and my eyes were beginning to roll around because at this point I was too tired to function yet my brain was far too stimulated to allow me to rest. I laid on her bed with my cheek pressed against her lap and braced myself for the inevitable bad trip that was already in motion..

I laid there for about 3 hours in a state of complete confusion, unsure of where I was or who I was, or why I couldn't seem to move or speak. I remember multiple times in which my girlfriend's face came before my own, or her lips touched mine, or she spoke to me gently in attempts to console me.. but I could not be reached. She said I would wake up long enough to look her in the eye and tell her that I loved her, but I would just as quickly go back into my former state.

I sank within the depths of my mind during that bad trip, half fueled by my physical discomfort, the rest by a paranoia I always have of waking my girlfriend's dad or brother really late at night when moving around their house. Of course, I didn't wake anyone up, it was all in my head. By the end of that trip I was ready to end it all, myself included, but I honestly believe that I had a revelation as it came to a conclusion.

I rose from my futile attempt to sleep, still tripping but feeling worlds better and certainly no longer in the grasp of the "bad trip," and I explained myself as best I could to my girlfriend. She revealed to me that so many of the things I was perceiving in my brain which further reinforced the bad feeling during the trip had not occurred. I didn't wake anyone up, I didn't freak out or run screaming through their house - but I hallucinated that I did.

I believe that a truly horrible trip can push anyone to the threshold of insanity. I was there, I would go so far as to say I stepped over, but I also came back. I completely understand how someone without the self control I SEEM to possess could go off the deep end and hurt themselves and others..

I was not ready for that high of a dose, and I was an idiot for taking the pain pill on an empty stomach before eating those nasty shrooms. (i love them, but they're gross to eat)

I suppose it was just another learning experience, because I know as soon as I woke up from that trip that I didn't hate tripping or shrooms, I had just done something wrong and let myself fall into a bad trip.

I now firmly believe that everyone holds the power to change the course of their trip, it's all in your head. You have to master control of your mind in order to fully reap the benefits of a mushroom trip. I believe the shrooms can show you many things which enlighten and enliven you.. but you must first know how to control your brain in order to receive these things.

or maybe i'm just crazy.


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InvisibleSimisu
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Re: my worst trip. [Re: idiotek]
    #3272322 - 10/24/04 07:15 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

you made me want to have a bad trip :smile:
nice report!


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OfflineNoviseer
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Registered: 03/18/03
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Re: my worst trip. [Re: Simisu]
    #3272358 - 10/24/04 07:26 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

these things can happen when you talk about doses in terms of the number of "nice sized mushrooms." Spring for a scale, they're 30 bucks!


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namaste said:
no flamz in da ODD, if you got nothing to contribute then keep yo lips zipped
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InvisibleMovingTarget

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 4,824
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Re: my worst trip. [Re: idiotek]
    #3272387 - 10/24/04 07:34 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

This is why I keep meaning to do more meditation


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Invisibleidiotek
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Re: my worst trip. [Re: MovingTarget]
    #3272409 - 10/24/04 07:40 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I'd like to do some as well, I'm just not sure on how to approach it. I'd like to meditate with some sort of objective, but my knowledge is limited in that particular field.


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InvisibleMovingTarget

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 4,824
Loc: temporary
Re: my worst trip. [Re: idiotek]
    #3272421 - 10/24/04 07:43 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Same here, but theres a few threads knockin about the shroomery about meditation


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OfflineSHR00MiN
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Registered: 07/24/04
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Re: my worst trip. [Re: MovingTarget]
    #3272452 - 10/24/04 07:59 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I believe what you had was an "ego death".

I had two of them in one night when I took a SERIOUS dose of DXM for the first time. I know what your saying when you wanted to "end it all" because I felt the same way, and I know exactly what it feels like to think your gonna die or that you have a really seriously strong thought about killing yourself.

I mean, drugs can do some crazy shit, because I would never think twice about committing suicide no matter how bad my life got, but when I was on it, the notions I got became REAL and I truly thought they were going to come true..


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Invisibleidiotek
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Re: my worst trip. [Re: SHR00MiN]
    #3272974 - 10/24/04 10:10 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I can describe my "ending it all" feelings only as something to relieve my brain of the intense mindfuck I was experiencing. I was tripping so hard that time no longer meant anything to me, I witnessed things morph from one scene to the next. Random things from my life and what I perceived to be the future of my life, and I felt like maybe I was driving myself insane.

The real me, inside my brain if you will, had a grasp of reality. I felt like it would never end, time seemed completely foreign to me as a concept.. but I knew the terror would subside. I thank my relatively decent amount of personal experience with tripping, and pushing myself to my mental limits while doing so. Had it not been for those things, and my girlfriend, I probably would have been done something harmful either to myself or to someone else. At the very worst I would have hurt myself, or just pissed off others.. but given the situation and the setting, it would have been a very unfortunate incident with horrible consequences.


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