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Invisibleidiotek
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,728
Piss testing
    #3260440 - 10/21/04 12:36 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

I have a few questions for those of you who know your stuff about piss tests.

My situation: I have two months (possibly more) to acquire as much cash as possible. I'm going to need it for when my girlfriend and I move into our own place.. but my present job cannot possibly supply me with adequate funding for this. I'm still having days off frequently during the week when I could be productively making money elsewhere.

My problem is this: I found a place where I can likely make bank doing simple deskwork/telephone services. It's for a local satellite dish network, they hire college students like myself regularly.. but they also do urine screening before they hire.

I've been told by a close friend that works there that the piss test comes at the conclusion of either one or two relatively brief interviews. He said they could be up to 10 minutes or so in length each, or I could just have one interview, it's hard to determine.


I don't really want to wait a couple of weeks and have to do all the work of detoxing (especially since I have a pretty fat bag and I don't want to just put it aside, it's too much temptation) because that will waste two weeks of time that I COULD be getting the process of applying done.

Do you guys think that it would work if I took a non-lubricated latex condom, had a drug-free friend fill it up with urine, tied it off, and put it in a plastic baggie with one or two of those hunter's hand-warmer things? I'd want to keep it at the proper temperature, and I'd also have to tape it to my boxers or something under my pants because they make you empty your pockets and also they turn the water off in the bathroom so you can't mix up those urine samples that you can buy in various places.


i am not sure if the hand warmers are entirely necessary either. my main worries are keeping it at the correct temperature for up to a half an hour to an hour. will the piss be OK to use after being in a condom? do you guys think it'd stay at the proper temperature without the hand warmers, but from my own body heat?

any help would be GREATLY appreciated... i'm desperate!

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Anonymous #1

Re: Piss testing [Re: idiotek]
    #3260783 - 10/21/04 03:00 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

if it's taped to your leg it should stay at the right temperature. it needs to be fresh. have someone fill it right before you go in.

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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Piss testing [Re: idiotek]
    #3261590 - 10/21/04 06:11 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

purchase a synthetic urine kit. 100% foolproof.
research on google.
http://www.pretestedurine.com/products.htm for example.

real urine will go bad and the age of it can be detected. use synthetic urine.

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Invisibleidiotek
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,728
Re: Piss testing [Re: Vvellum]
    #3261999 - 10/21/04 07:37 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

how long is too long before a urine sample is considered "aged"?

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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Piss testing [Re: idiotek]
    #3262052 - 10/21/04 07:53 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

less than a day - 12 to 18 hours. decay is easily detected.
synthetic urine is the way to go.

as for you questions, no, I dont think the urine would stay at body temperature without some sort of external heating element - you'll need handwarmers. being in unlubricated condom will be just fine.

if you're going to do the real urine thing (which I do not recommend - use a synthetic kit), be sure to use urine that is of the same gender as yourself.

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Invisibleidiotek
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Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,728
Re: Piss testing [Re: Vvellum]
    #3262766 - 10/21/04 10:02 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

so it wouldn't be smart to just get the guy to pee into the condom, tie it off and maybe put it in a small baggie with a hand warmer rubber-banded to it, chill with it on for like an hour TOPS taped/tied to your leg before disposing of it into the given receptacle?

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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Piss testing [Re: idiotek]
    #3262839 - 10/21/04 10:17 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

yes, this would work considering: 1) the urine is truly fresh 2) the dude's urine is actually 100% clean 3) the urine is kept perfectly warm 4) the urine comes from someone of the same age and gender as yourself.

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Invisibleidiotek
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,728
Re: Piss testing [Re: Vvellum]
    #3262903 - 10/21/04 10:31 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

sweet. my drug free friend doesn't even drink, he's my age, and we're both males.

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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Piss testing [Re: idiotek]
    #3262921 - 10/21/04 10:36 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

good luck with your urine endeavors. godspeed.

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Invisibleidiotek
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,728
Re: Piss testing [Re: Vvellum]
    #3262954 - 10/21/04 10:42 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

never thought i'd want to get so intricate with my thoughts in the topic of urine.. lol

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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Piss testing [Re: idiotek]
    #3262973 - 10/21/04 10:45 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

just make sure the piss stays fresh - a few hours old at the most.

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Offlinesublimesubmind
enthusiast
Registered: 05/25/04
Posts: 264
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
Re: Piss testing [Re: Vvellum]
    #3313214 - 11/03/04 07:54 AM (19 years, 6 months ago)

thats a crock, they cant tell how old your piss is, at least on the verge of a few days.... If they instant test you, those cant tell age. If your piss is sent off to be analyzed, then the couple of days it takes to ship offsets the time it took you to bring it in. Believe me, ive done it


I took a vitamin bottle, and had a friend fill it up with clean piss. It sat in the bottle overnight.

Then in the morning i took one of those toe warmers, if you look on the package they stay 99degF. Perfect. The one i had was self-stick, so it wrapped right around the bottle.

Painfully tape it too your leg. Just hope they dont make you take off your clothes in front of them, but if this is just for a job, they wont.

They let me into the bathroom and closed the door. Too easy, pour it in, and re-attatch to your leg, dont want evidence left behind...

After the nurse gets the sample they need to take a temperature check before they send it off. At time of sample mine was 98F. A week later i was working.

You could imagine how giddy i was leaving that clinic. I was scared stiff going in there, but as i got into my car i realized it was going to work. i wanted to scream, i couldnt belive i pulled it off.... it was really much easier than it seemed.

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OfflineTekLogiX
Old Skool Shroomerite
Male

Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 198
Last seen: 12 days, 8 hours
Re: Piss testing [Re: sublimesubmind]
    #3314493 - 11/03/04 11:45 AM (19 years, 6 months ago)

If you've got a couple hundred to spare I reccomend "The Urninator"!

http://www.urinator.com/

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Offlinemr_X_
stranger danger

Registered: 07/11/04
Posts: 159
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
Re: Piss testing [Re: TekLogiX]
    #3315786 - 11/03/04 04:01 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

i tell you my way to pass..


first long underware or some boxer brif have a hole in the bottom of the flap were you piss from you see it..the way they sew it gives you a nice pocket on the bottom .take a ginsig bottol and put clean pee in it, put some hot tap water in a iglo termo jug.
most tap water is 110f.put pee in it till ready to go in to take test.take out put in the hloe in flap take test..i take a digie termotor in my boot to make sure its not to hot if it still to hot i dip it in the cold toilet water till its normal but if theres a long time to wait no need to dip jar.
(meany times i have used this)

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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: Piss testing [Re: sublimesubmind]
    #3316715 - 11/03/04 07:42 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

Not every clinic sends the piss away. There are clinics that test the piss right there in front of you. And they can tell if the piss is a few days old. The bactiera in the pee reacts with the air and blooms like mad. It only takes 12-24 hours to grow.


--------------------
What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.

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Offlinephi1618
old hand

Registered: 02/14/04
Posts: 4,102
Last seen: 14 years, 11 days
Re: Piss testing [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3318133 - 11/04/04 12:16 AM (19 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

if it's taped to your leg it should stay at the right temperature. it needs to be fresh. have someone fill it right before you go in.



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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Piss testing [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3319089 - 11/04/04 09:28 AM (19 years, 6 months ago)

yeah, every piss test I've taken is right on the spot.

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Offlinesublimesubmind
enthusiast
Registered: 05/25/04
Posts: 264
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
Re: Piss testing [Re: Vvellum]
    #3319580 - 11/04/04 11:54 AM (19 years, 6 months ago)

hehe, all of my tests were sent away:)

Dont think that taping a jar to your leg is going to achieve 98F. The air on the side of the bottle will cool the liquid down, also the outside of your leg isnt 98F, the inside of your core body is- ever wonder why they stick a thermometer up your ass?

I forgot to mention. The easiest way to pass is to give them a diluted sample. Most instant tests dont test for dilution. Drink at least a gallon of water the night before, and piss as much as possible before you go in. If you keep drink water up till the test youll piss clear. This is what you want.

Many times though, as happend to me twice, they send it away and a few days later they call you and say "your sample was too diluted", and you ask "what does that mean?" then they will say "dont drink so much water next time". hehehe, just play dumb, i told them i was afraid of not being able to go.

They have to give you another test, but by that time a few more days have passed, and unless your really fat with slow metabolism you will pass. I dont stop dinking water before the second test though, both times they didnt say it was too dilited for the second time, they just let it go.....

All tests have a threshold before they go into positive. By drinking water your simply pushing the levels below that threshold.


It works, ive done it twice.

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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: Piss testing [Re: sublimesubmind]
    #3319596 - 11/04/04 11:59 AM (19 years, 6 months ago)

HUm.......Your talking from your asshole........ sorry


--------------------
What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.

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Offlinesublimesubmind
enthusiast
Registered: 05/25/04
Posts: 264
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
Re: Piss testing [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3320344 - 11/04/04 02:59 PM (19 years, 6 months ago)

dude you seem to like to shit on everyones post. In fact, what i said did happen and it happened to me............... sorry.

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