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1. Alcohol does not cause weight gain. Look. Ever looked in a mirror whilst drunk? I've never been so good-looking! In fact, *you* should *see* me when I'm drunk! I'm incredible.
2. Nun-chucka are primarily a dancing tool. Like Carson Daily, if he could dance.
3. If I can drink 13 shots of Rum, and fool someone into thinking I'm sober, does that make me an alcoholic, or does it make my dad an idiot?
4. The loinger I consider it, the more I'm intrigued by the question of what my colan's name would be if it were a woman. ...maybe Shelly?
5. There's not enough drugs in the world to make me laugh during Friends.
6. If I'm listening to Chopin, and the sudden contrast seems so powerful to me that I am overpowered with laughter, evenyone looks at me like I'm some kind of nut.
7. Don't watch "Dude Where's My Car" on any kind of Halluigenigenic drug. Trust me on this one. Nothing is worse than trying to pull your mind out of a circle while someone keeps repeating "and then?"
8. Do you realize Johnny Depp has starred in movies about guys with scissors for hands, razors for fingers, and hooks for hands? ...I realize that nobody gives a shit.
9. I'd like to see a serial killer who only uses bulldozers. That'd make the news more fun. Also, I think it'd be funif a hospital caught on fire, and the cripples who didn't want to be burned alive had to figure out a way to jump out of the building, even though they can't walk.
10. When on LSD, shut the fuck up. It's for your safety. Cops are very suspicious of people who come up to them claiming that someone stole their ego.
Peace and Love, and...
...th-th-th-that's all folks!
-------------------- They are in love. Fuck the War.
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