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Offlinemanna_man
High onlife.....andcrack

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 481
Loc: Vancouver
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Im a fucking liar
    #3238090 - 10/10/04 03:00 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Here's my situation....

  I have been living in residence at my university for the past month or so and I've gotta say that I'm really liking it. But I didn't always like it so much. I'm a pretty shy person, so when I first moved into residence, meeting all these new people was pretty overwhelming. So I ended spending most of my nights hiding in my room. This lasted about 2 weeks, until I finally started coming out of my shell and really meeting people. This was really great, except whenever I met someone new, they would always comment that they had never seen me around before.

    Well, this happened with a girl I just met and I didnt want to say that I was cooped up in my room all this time, so I made up an excuse: I said that I'm usually  at my girlfriend's house. Truth is, I don't have a girlfriend. I lied so that I wouldn't seem like a loser who hides in their room all the time. Anyways, as I get to know this girl over a few days, I start to really like her. We have so much in common and are so comfortable around each other. But I can't take things to the next level because I have a "girlfriend".

    I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. Either I tell another lie, saying that we broke up and don't talk to each other anymore and that I threw out all pictures of her.
OR, I tell her the truth, that I lied to her to make her think better of me, which probably won't go over too well.

      Fuck! Why did I have to do this to myself??!? This girl is absolutely amazing and I've fucked myself over because of my insecurities. I guess it's what I deserve. I feel absolutely horrible and Im disgusted with myself.
fuck... :sad:


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InvisibleLand_Crab
NeuroticPsychonaut
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/29/04
Posts: 2,194
Loc: U.S.
Re: Im a fucking liar [Re: manna_man]
    #3238114 - 10/10/04 03:14 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Here's what I suggest:

- Lie to her and say you broke up with your "girlfriend" if that doesn't compromise your conscience or self-esteem.

- Or, (I think this is better), tell her what you've just told us. If she's the kind of girl who would snub you for telling the truth, then she is definitely not worth getting involved with. I know this probably feels like an insurmountable task, but it is the best thing to do.

I know what it feels like to have low self-esteem, and how hard it can be to confront people in this manner. But after I started telling the truth about these things a few years ago, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It's sort of like jumping into a cold pool - you're scared and uncomfortable for a little while, then you start to get used to it.


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OfflineSpecialEd
+ one

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 6,220
Loc: : Gringo
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: Im a fucking liar [Re: manna_man]
    #3238136 - 10/10/04 03:20 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

If you lie to cover yourself up, are you hurting anyone other than yourself? If not, what is the problem? You will sound very wishywashy if you tell the whole truth, and probably ruin your chances with her.


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"Plus one upvote +1..."
--- //
-- :meff:
  /l_l\/
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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Im a fucking liar [Re: manna_man]
    #3238847 - 10/10/04 12:54 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

tell her the truth.

no more lies from now on - the problem will only compound and get worse if you create more lies.

just sit her down and say..."listen, I need to talk..." tell her exactly what you told us - everything you said is quite understandable. Apologize for the first lie.

But it wont end there - you cant just apologize your way out of this. you have to earn her trust again. you have to be honest to her from now on to prove to her your dishonesty was just a fluke and not a regular pattern.

she'll respect you for the honesty.
if not, she wasnt worth your time.

she might respect you for coming clean but yet chose to backaway from you due to a lack of trust. If so, consider this your lesson and try to be honest in the future. you'll meet many girls down the road and you'll have many other chances to get things right - dont fret if she walks away.

good luck man
let us know how it goes.


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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: Im a fucking liar [Re: Land_Crab]
    #3238850 - 10/10/04 12:57 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

- Or, (I think this is better), tell her what you've just told us. If she's the kind of girl who would snub you for telling the truth, then she is definitely not worth getting involved with. I know this probably feels like an insurmountable task, but it is the best thing to do




:thumbup:


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Im a fucking liar [Re: manna_man]
    #3242710 - 10/11/04 01:44 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I'm usually pretty honest with most people, but for some reason, I have a tendency of lying to my parents, and I feel so shitty about it. They basically just want to make sure I'm on top of things and that everything's going alright, so I tell them everything's fine, even if it's not. I tell them I'm doing well in my classes even if I'm on the verge of flunking. I guess I'm just afraid to admit to being a fuck-up.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Offlineagr8fulchick
Feed Your Head!

Registered: 08/19/04
Posts: 707
Loc: Stranded in Iowa
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
Re: Im a fucking liar [Re: manna_man]
    #3243290 - 10/11/04 03:45 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Girls like it when guys tell the truth :smile:  :thumbup:  :heart:

Tell her what you told us, that you were overwhelmed at the beginning, and when she said she'd never seen you, you were just overwhelmed and said you were at your gf's.

You should totally ask her out to dinner or something, and when she asks about you girlfriend, just say that saying you had a gf was a cover-up for you being overwhelmed, but don't say the word 'lie' when you tell her :smile:


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Life's a journey. Take the scenic route.

        :sun: :heart: :heart: :sun:


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OfflineF0SS1L
Prehistoric Cyborg

Registered: 08/29/04
Posts: 2,382
Loc: 216
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: Im a fucking liar [Re: agr8fulchick]
    #3244808 - 10/11/04 10:00 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Man, you didn't even tell that bad of a lie. I'm not going to tell you to not tell the truth, but its easy for anyone to say that, but not actually do it. You dont have to strait up lie and say you broke up with your fake g/f and put on a big crying act or anything. Just casually say something like "man it sure feels good to be single again" or "Oh my God, my ex is such a bitch" and then if this girl asks you about it you can talk about one of your real ex-girlfriends who pissed you off and then just change the subject. I'm just trying to give you some alternative advice, b/c I know it'd be pretty embarassing to tell a girl the story you told us. Although if you explain that you just didnt want to sound like a hermit, then it might not be so bad :-P


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That's me on the street with a violin under my chin. Playing with a grin, singing gibberish.


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: Im a fucking liar [Re: Vvellum]
    #3245825 - 10/12/04 01:36 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

bi0 said:
Quote:

- Or, (I think this is better), tell her what you've just told us. If she's the kind of girl who would snub you for telling the truth, then she is definitely not worth getting involved with. I know this probably feels like an insurmountable task, but it is the best thing to do




:thumbup:




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Offlinerummshoo
Stranger
Registered: 10/12/04
Posts: 12
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: Im a fucking liar [Re: manna_man]
    #3246366 - 10/12/04 07:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

i think we all do that (i know i do, or have done and probably will do again), lie about who we are and try projecting what we'd like to be or what they'd like us to be. it's not worth it. we just confuse ourselves and then the whole world is confused because no-one is honest which makes people feel they are seperate or different for thinking "it's just me that's like this, everyone else says they aren't". it's just the way we live and that needs to change now


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