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OfflineMike_Ologist
4-phosphoryloxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamineconnoiseur
Registered: 10/08/04
Posts: 146
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all?
    #3232821 - 10/08/04 01:28 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Last night I tripped on *many* dried cubes. It was really an experience... or was it?

The whole trip was marked by a common thought: "this is no different from usual." I had the distinct notion that tripping was in reality no different from normal thought; instead, I was just more focused on normal things. I was as in awe of the LACK of color enhancement as I've been at the INTENSITY of color enhancement from my first trip.

With eyes closed, it seemed vaguely hilarious that these could be called "closed eye visuals." After all, if I really tried to LOOK at them, they weren't there at all! Instead, they were just the familiar shapes and colors that I'd been failing to notice most of the time while "sober." Music DIDN'T sound better, colors DIDN'T look sharper, visuals WEREN'T more vivid... and THAT was the epiphany. Things always just WERE! There was no "trip." Things just were.

Before the trip, I had planned out a list of things to do while tripping. A list of songs that evoked nostalgia, a list of memories to recall with enhanced clarity, a bunch of pictures that I'd always found stunning. During the trip, none of that mattered. There was no "better" or "worse." I didn't like these songs and not those. I didn't want this feeling and not that. Everything was equally valid. It was all just experience.

It really made me laugh to think about trip reports. How can anyone report on the experience of Teonanacatl? How could people use words to describe things like "closed eye visuals," or "walls breathing," or "enhanced colors?" There was nothing at all... and it was so intense! The kaleidoscopic purple patterns swirling on my tan towel... that wasn't a hallucination. That was ME, for the first time noticing how it all looked and fit together. As if to confirm this, a closer inspection showed that the towel really just was a towel.

And why was I so paranoid talking to people while "tripping?" After all, there IS no tripping. My mother called, my father called, my sister called. None of them suspected anything. And what would they suspect? That I was me? The only thing to fear was fear itself. When I stopped and asked myself how my fingers could type so fast, they would refuse to move. When I didn't think about them, I was in awe of how they did their thing without my awareness of it. How could they move SO FAST without my direct supervision?! And why did they stop when I asked them how they did it? Without interference, my typing was as good as normal, and so was my speech. How could I ever think otherwise?

And from whence it came, it sank back. It was never anything at all.



Thanks for reading up til here. I hope others can relate.


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Offlinesublime40oz
Traveler
Registered: 09/24/04
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Loc: Florida
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all? [Re: Mike_Ologist]
    #3232997 - 10/08/04 02:14 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I know exatly where you are coming from with this. I have felt that way on trips before. Really hard to put into any other words than you have said. I always get a strong sense of being alive when I eat mushrooms. I'm not tripping I'm just more in tune with life, and everything is wonderful. Air feels great in my lungs, water tastes so good, and along with this feeling comes the biggest assed grin that I can't wipe off my face for the life of me.


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Beyond the gray sky


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InvisibleMovingTarget

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 4,824
Loc: temporary
Re: Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all? [Re: sublime40oz]
    #3233035 - 10/08/04 02:25 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Most of the visuals I get seem to be themed on what I've been doing that day.

One trip where I was seeing loads of swaying tentacles swarming around me was probably a result of me seeing grass at close range while picking mushrooms all day

Anther trip I was seeing comlicated morphing patterns that were very simlar to a screensaver I'd been looking a lot at that day called glowing worlds 3, very good screensaver that hehe


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InvisibleMovingTarget

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 4,824
Loc: temporary
Re: Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all? [Re: MovingTarget]
    #3233042 - 10/08/04 02:28 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I think the mushrooms partly just make certain things in your memory fuse with your imagination amoung other things...


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InvisibleHendostan
Male

Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,441
Re: Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all? [Re: MovingTarget]
    #3237628 - 10/09/04 11:36 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I think you let yourself experience complete loss of ego. That's pretty amazing, really. I liked what you have to say..I've been to that place of pure existence, where there is no distinction between anything, it is all just there. It sounds like you felt it much more completely than I ever have! Keep exploring that place, and keep posting too! It was good to read.


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OfflineMike_Ologist
4-phosphoryloxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamineconnoiseur
Registered: 10/08/04
Posts: 146
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
Re: Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all? [Re: Hendostan]
    #3243322 - 10/11/04 03:50 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

Now that it has been a few days since the trip, and things are more back to "normal," those words seem almost to confuse me. I once again have preferences, emotions, etc.

During the trip, it constantly occurred to me that my "ego" was nowhere to be found. However, the words "ego loss" were merely words to me. I had no idea what it should feel like--and whatever I felt surely couldn't be THE exalted "ego loss," could it?

In particular, I had this to say in my personal trip log:

Quote:


TOO concerned with recording/explaining. Never the right words. But it shouldn't matter so damned much. or at alEXPERIENCE dammit. That IS important! Quit looking for the perfect whatever. There is beauty in EVERYTHING. Just chill out and experience.


The problem is with *expectation.* I expect the feeling to be like this or that. It just IS. Like wanting to be like a person who was always blind and just gains sight... what would it feel like? Just stop interpreting things, and that's the way it is.


The end of the trip is marked by the point at which you find you can allow your ego to overcome yourself. Your ego is constantly trying to come back. It's trying to fix order on things. The sacrament fights it off. The length of the trip, so to speak, is the length during which your ego does not win.





From a very strong trip, I expected lots of colors and visuals and imagination. What I got was just... reality. And although I certainly wouldn't classify it as a "nice," "fun," or "good" trip, I was clear on the point that there is no such thing as a "bad trip."

I guess it really changed my understanding of what the mushrooms are "supposed" to do, and hearing other people's interpretations of this is very greatly appreciated.


Edited by Mike_Ologist (10/11/04 03:51 PM)


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OfflineInfiniteVoid
It Is Blue, ILove....Everything
Registered: 10/09/04
Posts: 32
Loc: England, Leicester/Manche...
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all? [Re: Mike_Ologist]
    #3243370 - 10/11/04 04:04 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

i always seem to get the same closed eye visuals when im tripping except once.....i always see multi-coloured coffins with bodies in them, lots of tiny ones, in pattern form just moving around and stuff....but once i saw like 3 heltascelters type mountains with a rollercoaster going up and down.....that was odd lol


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Late At Night I Toss And I Turn And I Dream Of What I Need....


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Offlinerummshoo
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Registered: 10/12/04
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Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all? [Re: Mike_Ologist]
    #3246394 - 10/12/04 07:43 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

all was one. there was so much going on that when i tried to put it into words, when i said the words they meant nothing to me. and thought was the same. thoughts and words were static and dead and what i could see just seemed like perfect chaos. all i know is i felt alive, and love. i didnt need anything or want anything.
jesus was a mushroom


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sacrilicious!!


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InvisibleSimisu
taken by gravity
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Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,310
Loc: Israeli in
Re: Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all? [Re: rummshoo]
    #3251529 - 10/19/04 02:45 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

last night i had my first trip (i'm gonna write a report just for the sake of it but...) and i kept thinking about THIS post... becouse nothing seemed to happen and yet my consentration was at the right place... just like you say!
i wrote this while "coming up"
"things happen without having a reason, even though you can find reason behind everything that happens"
just normal everyday stuff that happen and you usualy anelize so much
but last night was diffrent... my body did what it was supposed to and i just let it do it...

i had no visuals no color change no breathing... but it was somehow still diffrent... not scary at all
i kept thinking i didn't take enough or something but i'm SURE i was tripping so there's really no other way to describe it other then saying that my consentration was at the right place for a change...
flowing...


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OfflineDimmy
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Registered: 08/18/04
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Re: Report: Intense trip... or no trip at all? [Re: Simisu]
    #3251940 - 10/19/04 04:35 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

i know exactly what you mean. my first trip was very much like what u described. there wasn't nothing as "good" or "bad" to me at the time it was just all there and i was actively experiencing life without making judgments about it. during the trip i was experiencing stomach discomfort. a friend asked if it felt bad and i replied with something along the lines of "not good, not bad, just there." i was confused by the feelings of my stomach but didn't classify them, i just let them be. and excepted it as part of my immediate experience. also during alot of the trip, most of what i could say was shit like "just be" and such. it was quite a first experience.


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:goose:


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