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InvisibleKingOftheThing
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have you ever had a bad trip
    #3211836 - 10/04/04 12:43 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

that took you a long time to full recover from??? i think my last bad trip has stuck with me. it has deifnently scared me away from mushrooms for awhile


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OfflineAsshole
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3211985 - 10/04/04 01:19 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Yep. I think of it as a wound. Take care of it by confronting the problem and it'll slowly heal. This method worked for me after my last trip, which was bad. I haven't tired to trip since, but now I am ready to if the moment comes along.


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People allways tell me i'm an asshole, but i'ts really not true.

Whats true is, a lot of youz are assholes, especially , but he's mostly lame.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3212049 - 10/04/04 01:30 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

KingOftheThing said:
that took you a long time to full recover from??? i think my last bad trip has stuck with me. it has deifnently scared me away from mushrooms for awhile




Well...

I had a really difficult experience on five grams.  It was such an extreme teaching event in my mind, and I would never trade it for anything, yet at the same time I struggled afterwards with my sanity.  For an entire month afterwards, it was touch and go on whether or not I would go completely insane.  Nothing made sense and I thought I was lost from the world forever.  I simply had no idea how to cope with everything that happened.  Nothing could have prepared me for that. 

After a few weeks time, I thought that the only way I would get over what happened, was to trip again.  I needed to find my bearings with the mushroom again, I needed to make sure that things were okay "between us," and most of all, I wanted to learn how to let go and handle tripping better.  For me, it was very important to "get back on the horse" and move on.  I felt like doing mushrooms again would be the only way I would be able to move on with my life. 

A month after that five gram experience I tripped again, on three grams.  Now, that trip was difficult too and there definitely were some rough spots.  But it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life and it helped me develop greater understanding about what happened to me on that massive five gram trip I had earlier.  And I needed that.  That trip helped me find the closure to move on. 

During the time I was struggling after the five gram trip, I found great comfort in Buddhist teachings.  I read 'The Psychedelic Experience' cover to cover and tried to develop self-awareness so that my ego had less control over me.  I realized that it was not the mushroom that had wronged me, but my own ego and desire for control.  The instant I had chosen to react in a negative way to the effects of the mushroom and tried fighting it, the trip unraveled into a personal hell that words cannot do justice to. 



Now, I do not suggest that you trip again to help you get over your last trip.  I am only sharing what worked for me.  I am still recovering from that one hard experience.  I've tripped twice since then, and gradually, each time becomes more comfortable and my terrible post-five-gram anxiety is slowly disappearing.  I am learning how to "let go" and not fight the psychedelic experience, and this is an important lesson for me to understand.  Already I have noticed this spilling over into my daily life, as I am making a conscious effort to not let the ego games drive me to that brink of insanity again.  I've made the choice to "let it go." 

My advice is to find something in your life you can take reassurance in, maybe an iconic figure (Jesus or Buddha), whom you can look to when you need strength.  This is what was recommended to me during my struggle, and I found that it helped very much.  If you do decide to trip again, be gentle with yourself and start at a dose you are comfortable with, in a secure setting and with preparation in mind.  Know that there is no shame in reaching out to others.  My first time "back" with the mushroom, I was starting to feel panicky, so I came to the Shroomery during the trip and spoke to a few people here.  It gave me so much relief to know that there were people here who understood and who would guide me through the rough spots until I was brave enough to unfurl my sails and voyage on my own again. 

If you do not trip again, there is certainly nothing wrong with that.  Do whatever you feel your heart is leading you to do.  The most important thing is that you listen to it. 

I apologize for the length of this post, but I guess I had a lot to say.  I can relate with what you are feeling, so I wanted to share.  :sun: 

take care  :heart:


truly,

*me*


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3212466 - 10/04/04 03:25 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I don't really think I can say that I've ever had a bad trip. I've had trips that went bad for a little while, but it never takes me very long to snap out of it. The worst a trip ever became for me was where I felt like Jesus being crucified on the cross, and this spiritual torment became so intense that I started crying, but then I started to accept God's unconditional love, and then the pain was gone, and I became Zen-like. In a sense, that stuck with me, because that trip was somewhat Christian in nature, and I had always had negative feelings toward Christianity prior to that. I'm not sure if I'd consider myself a Christian now or not, but that experience definitely changed my outlook.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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InvisibleMyInsanityTrip
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: silversoul7]
    #3212588 - 10/04/04 04:22 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

What does God's unconditional love feel like, anyway?

(I know it's off-topic, but I'm curious!)


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: MyInsanityTrip]
    #3212632 - 10/04/04 04:47 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

MyInsanityTrip said:
What does God's unconditional love feel like, anyway?

(I know it's off-topic, but I'm curious!)



It's impossible to describe.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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OfflineRed
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: MyInsanityTrip]
    #3213129 - 10/04/04 11:30 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Remember what it was like to be held by your parents when you were a young child? No matter what was wrong.. no matter what was happening, you were safe, loved, accepted, and protected in their arms.

I imagine the "unconditional love of god" would be somewhat similar to that feeling.

Kott, I've had two bad trips that stick out. My first, and my second to last. I only just recently (within the month) tripped, since my last one, which happened over 2 years ago. That trip really struck me hard, and it took me a long time to get used to living in the world after it.. It changed me drastically, and if I could, I would take it  all back.

but.. you can never go back to exactly how things were before, who you are changes with each new experience, and its how you handle and integrate those experiences and changes that makes you who you are. You will get used to whatever changes you've experienced.. and the ideas or feelings won't feel foreign, different from before, but they will be a part of you and who you are.. not some disturbing, strange, confusing thing that feels forced on you.

Best of luck, you'll find your way. :sun:


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Pussy Thunderclap, snap my back. Chop me into peices, and serve me as a snack.


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: Red]
    #3213345 - 10/04/04 12:58 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

My back spased out once from me being so cold. It hurt so friggin bad. I kinda feel like it was old tramas from being run down by a car. And my bodies way of telling me I shouldnt be fuckin around disrespecting my body after all I have been threw. So yeah it was kinda bad cuz it wasnt fun, but I dont realy think of it as a bad trip. And yes that night still lingers on by keeping my mind in the right "caring" state of mind for my self.


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OfflinePhishgrrl
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3216188 - 10/05/04 12:10 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I had a lot of scary acid trips about 10 years ago and finally this year I started tripping again. Yep, it took me about 10 years....but now the tripping is more amazing and lovely than ever, now that I have learned to deeply respect the shrooms.

Tell us what happened to make your trip bad.


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Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...



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Offlinetomk
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3216562 - 10/05/04 01:26 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I was in the hospital for surgery and recieved a huge amount of IV morphine. After I got out of surgery they said "If your start to feel pain push the button, if your pain gets bad it will be hard to control so we want to redose you with morphine as soon as it starts to tingle." Well, I pushed the button several times but no one came for two hours (I couldn't scream because they operated on my diaphram and it hurt to even breathe). Well it took a lot of IV morphine to get the pain back under control, then the same thing happened again. This time after 1.5 hours, my mom came back and then got somebody. They put me on a morphine drip with a lot of morphine/hour and I hit the button like crazy because, hey, I could barely breathe everything was hurting so bad..

Well, when you are recovering from surgery and in agony from them fucking up the post-op care, a huge dose of morphine leads to hallucinations. Given the awful set and setting, I'd say it was an awful trip. I kept closing my eyes, and each time I was totally immersed in nightmares, then I would open my eyes and be in the hospital (to my complete surprise). This was a bad trip, and I learned absolutely nothing from it.

I've had the difficult trips too, where I thought I was dying or whatever, but difficult is different then bad. This bad trip took me weeks to recover from. I had a pretty close to full psychotic break, had to stay in the hospital longer, and it took me close to a month until I stopped believing everything that happened was related to me (words from the TV, signs I would read, etc.) I guess it goes to show that set and setting are important. A bad setting is a hospital after surgery and a bad set is post-op and not expecting it. If the hospital had taken less then 2 hours to respond, then I wouldn't of needed morphine in hallucination qunatities, and I could of recovered and not had a psychotic break. Fucking corporate hospital bastards. The next day about eight corporate fuck bastards came to apologize in such a way that made it clear they were only worried about a lawsuit. They reeked of capitalist greed and corporate psuedoethics. The lead nurse came to apologize too, and was very sincere and told me what actually happened, and her story conflicted with the corporate fucks story. I should of sued the corporate fucks, but hey, I was at a point where I thought the TV was talking to me, and thought roadsigns were targeted directly at me, so I couldnt' really put a lawsuit together very well, could I.


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"I am eternally free"


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: tomk]
    #3218401 - 10/05/04 03:35 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I know how that goes. Waking up from a mushroom trip in the hospital with tubes running out of me going every whitch way. That I guess was a real bad trip almost forgot about that one. OOPS. The two weaks and couple months after it seemed to be like a never ending bad dream. CRAZY SHIT!


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InvisibleKingOftheThing
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3220983 - 10/06/04 12:53 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

what's weird is the trip went sour and turned into "pure anxiety" probably the worst mental hell i have ever encountered. since the trip i have been plagued with massive amount of debilitating anxiety. i wish i could reset things to the night before the experience...i have totally sworn off psychedelics for a long long time ...even weed all of the sudden is causing me to have massive amounts of anxiety....so i think im sticking to sobritety in the next few months. i need some time to get my head straight. i think my abuse of psychedelics in the last few years has caused me to just think too much. i have problems sleeping and such. i need to spend more time finding my place in reallity instead of worrying about altering it.


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OfflineDivided_Sky
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3225302 - 10/07/04 12:33 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

My advice, ease off for a while and choose substances that are easier to deal with like mescaline or 2c-b. Stay with lower doses. I would also advise staying away from pot if you have any post-trip anxiety.

I actually had a very intense pot experience that put me off from all drugs for quite some time. It really changed me. Even now I am a little more depressed, paranoid and anxious than I used to be, and it has been 4 months. It has been my decision to stear clear of mushrooms and acid, esp. in high doses for the time being. I plan on doing some Pedro soon and maybe some E, but anything with a greater mindfuck seems like it would be counterproductive to my mental health.
If you do trip again do it in the absolute best set and setting, where you feel comfortable and cared for and there is plenty of nature around.


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1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: MOTH]
    #3230908 - 10/07/04 11:58 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Beautifully stated. Absolutely beautiful.


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: have you ever had a bad trip [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3230923 - 10/08/04 12:02 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I still recall the Big Trip - Independence Day 1973. It's archived here in some degree.

If you decide to continue the Psychedelic Path, PLEASE learn to use a copy of BE HERE NOW. The first section is to be read before dosing, the middle brown section for the peak (yes, the peak) and the third section is for life. Been using and giving it away since 1973. "What a long strange trip it's been."


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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