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OfflinePhred
Fred's son
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Registered: 10/19/00
Posts: 12,949
Loc: Dominican Republic
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Know Thy Enemy -- Democrats
    #3201325 - 09/30/04 09:30 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Who gave the Democrats a national convention? Well, before their crazy ideas can spread too far, I sent my crack research team to find all they can about the dreaded Crat?s of Dem.


FUN FACTS ABOUT DEMOCRATS


* Democrats chose the donkey as their symbol because the Democrat base smells as bad as one and has the same verbal skills. In the donkey's defense, it's smart enough to understand a butterfly ballot.

* The name Democrat comes from the combination of "demo" - which means "demonic" - and "crat" - which is a term for something unidentifiable which you scrape off your shoe.

* If your skin pigmentation is dark enough, you may be legally required to vote for Democrats.

* Democrats are big into class warfare. They also are for gun control which has caused the deadliest firearms to be too expensive except for the rich to buy. So, if class warfare ever goes to blows, it won't last long.

* No matter what legislation the Republicans propose, the Democrats call it "just a tax cut for the rich." When Republicans proposed to free the slaves, Democrats called it "just a tax cut for the rich."

* The base of the Democratic part is thought to be angry, drunken dwarves, but they may in fact be gnomes.

* Plus some are pixies or something similar.

* Though there are more registered Democrats, they don't vote as much as Republicans percentage-wise because of their tendency to be distracted by shiny things.

* Democrats have lost most of the men's vote because they're a bunch of girlie men. Don't tell them that, though, because they'll cry.

* Democrats are always trying to get into your wallet to spend money on their wacky ideas. If you see a Democrat near your wallet, hit him on the head with a rolled up newspaper. You have to catch him in the act or he'll never learn.

* To do better in elections, many Democrats are trying to allow felons to vote. Next on their agenda: Allowing foreign terrorists to vote.

* Trial lawyers can and do vote for Democrats... probably for the same reason convicted felons and terrorists would.

* While the Democratic leadership is currently devoid of any real leadership or substance, they may try and make up for that with important-looking hair.

* Some Democrats may have served in Vietnam. You can find out which ones by seeing who tells you that fact over and over and over.

* And over and over and over.

* Many Democrats intensely hate Bush because it's easier than confronting the irrelevancy of their ideas. It?s funny to dump a bucket of cold water on them and hear them blame Haliburton.

* If you're plagued by Democrats, they can be scared away with snakes, guns, or concepts of individual responsibility.

* Bill Clinton, who cost the Democrats their majorities in the House, Senate, and Governorships while he was president, is still venerated by Democrats because... uh... I guess they're just frick'n retards.

* Democrats will often visit maternity wards and shake their fists angrily at all those who escaped the wrath of choice.

* Democrats are secretly trying to destroy capitalism. If you see a Democrat near capitalism and looking suspicious, immediately report him to the police.

* You can't set fire to Democrats without a permit.

* In a fight between Democrats and Aquaman, Aquaman would be slurred by an NAACP ad that links him to lynching.

* Every so often Democrats will roam the countryside eating everything in sight before plunging into the sea. That might be called "Earth Day."

* The Democrats have built a giant statue in tribute to Michael Moore which eyes glow red, shoots fire out of its ass, and constantly demands tributes of ham.

* Or maybe that is just Michael Moore wearing a gray sweat suit. Whatever it is, don't let it fall on you because it's heavy.

* Democrats are convinced Bush lied about something. They're not sure what... but they know it's something! Come on; Clinton lied all the time... Bush must have lied at least once!

* The foreign policy ideals of the Democrats involve waiting for the mighty France to approve anything they plan on doing. This should allow them to snap into action about the time half the earth is destroyed by radical Islamists.

* Every time someone votes for a Democrat, baby Jesus cries.


http://www.imao.us/archives/cat_know_thy_enemy.html


--------------------


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OfflineWorf
Lt. Commander

Registered: 07/04/04
Posts: 15,663
Loc: Final Frontier
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: Know Thy Enemy -- Democrats [Re: Phred]
    #3201570 - 09/30/04 10:38 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I'm... uhhh... for it.


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OfflineRedstorm
Prince of Bugs
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 44,174
Last seen: 3 months, 14 days
Re: Know Thy Enemy -- Democrats [Re: Phred]
    #3201591 - 09/30/04 10:42 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks for that educational post. :smirk:


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OfflineWorf
Lt. Commander

Registered: 07/04/04
Posts: 15,663
Loc: Final Frontier
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: Know Thy Enemy -- Democrats [Re: Redstorm]
    #3201610 - 09/30/04 10:47 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Haven't you ever seen that SNL? ah man I need to get those on DVD.


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OfflineRedstorm
Prince of Bugs
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Last seen: 3 months, 14 days
Re: Know Thy Enemy -- Democrats [Re: Worf]
    #3201614 - 09/30/04 10:48 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Nope, I haven't. And now I feel like an asshole for using the smirk icon at the wrong time. :wink:


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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
Loc: oz
Re: Know Thy Enemy -- Democrats [Re: Phred]
    #3201676 - 09/30/04 10:58 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

"Democrats chose the donkey as their symbol because the Democrat base smells as bad as one and has the same verbal skills. In the donkey's defense, it's smart enough to understand a butterfly ballot."

???

"The name Democrat comes from the combination of "demo" - which means "demonic" - and "crat" - which is a term for something unidentifiable which you scrape off your shoe."

:lol:


"If your skin pigmentation is dark enough, you may be legally required to vote for Democrats"

ouch

"Democrats are big into class warfare. They also are for gun control which has caused the deadliest firearms to be too expensive except for the rich to buy. So, if class warfare ever goes to blows, it won't last long."

well at least here in the US, people have guns regardless.  no amount of law is stopping anyone from owning a gun here. this includes assault rifles and the like

"No matter what legislation the Republicans propose, the Democrats call it "just a tax cut for the rich." When Republicans proposed to free the slaves, Democrats called it "just a tax cut for the rich."

don't know about hte slaves comment, but it's all just spewing nonsense.

"Though there are more registered Democrats, they don't vote as much as Republicans percentage-wise because of their tendency to be distracted by shiny things."

half of our country didn't vote last time.  i think we have more anarchists than we may think.

"Democrats are always trying to get into your wallet to spend money on their wacky ideas. If you see a Democrat near your wallet, hit him on the head with a rolled up newspaper. You have to catch him in the act or he'll never learn."

haha republicans though are just as crazy


" Every time someone votes for a Democrat, baby Jesus cries"

that's nothing compared to the constant liquid shits jesus gets when republicans get the nod


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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InvisibleKingOftheThing
the cool fool
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Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 27,389
Loc: USA
Re: Know Thy Enemy -- Democrats [Re: Phred]
    #3201706 - 09/30/04 11:02 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

where is my "im so right wing" post?? it was funnier, and i actually wrote it


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