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Invisiblefunkymonk
Get's down, withthe get-down.
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Registered: 11/29/02
Posts: 8,160
Loc: saskatchewan
55+ Year Old Lady
    #3183948 - 09/26/04 10:56 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

  Today was a  beautiful fall day . Warm, and sunny, no  bugs  and a nice breeze. So after sitting around smoking reefer all day, I felt like being outside. I went home and my buddy  The Mike was there. So we went to the park and started kicking my soccer ball around, practising our footwork and passes and stuff.

  After awhile of playing, this old lady and her two  collie dogs. Okay, no big deal it's a big park. Her dogs are un-leashed, which doesnt bother me at all, I'd rather see them free to roam.

  Well one of these dogs, comes running full boar right at me. Crazy dog, it keeps running and stops just behind me.  Squats, and takes a huge  shit . Sick, It was on the playing field where we were playing, and one of us was bound to step in it.

  I kind of tried to yell at her and get her attention but she was far away. I told The Mike that we should confront her, if we wanted to get techinical it's a city bylaw. (Bylaw 7680) I started walking to her, and she actualy started walking faster away from me. We ran a formation on her, The Mike looped in front of her, and I brought up the back...

funkymonk: Excuse me m'am?
OldLady: Yes?
fm: your dog pooped right where we are playing soccer, one of us is bound to step in it.
OL: Oh please.
TheMike: It's actualy a City bylaw not to pick it up.
OL: Fuck off and go to hell.
fm: :shocked:
TM: :ooo:
fm: listen lady, we're trying to be civil here. a single tissue paper, or a bag would solve this problem.
OL: i've lived here for 30 years and i've never had such rude assholes confront me.
fm: m'am it's a simple concept. your dogs poop, you scoop.
OL: I wish my dogs where trained to bite you.
TM: lady, wtf.

This went on for awhile, me and The Mike backed away. She started to yell, and sounded like she might cry. She walked like a block, then turned around and said "what kind of fucking cowards are you?"

  Okay, first of all. What's your defiantion of a coward? Secondly, clean up your dogs fucking shit.

:poop:


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Invisibleblink
eye of horus
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/31/02
Posts: 11,343
Loc: Geographic Location (Stat...
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3183955 - 09/26/04 10:59 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

she must not have had a bag.
you should return it to her or she might forget to get it herself.  I prefer making deliveries of the sort using burning paper bags...  :crazy2:


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Invisiblefunkymonk
Get's down, withthe get-down.
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Registered: 11/29/02
Posts: 8,160
Loc: saskatchewan
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: blink]
    #3183965 - 09/26/04 11:01 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

We told her we could show her were it was in case she couldnt find it. she refused.
so i told her we'd follow her home and leave in on her door handle
:lol:


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OfflineToTheSummit
peregrinus
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Registered: 08/23/99
Posts: 9,065
Loc: Las Vegas
Last seen: 8 hours, 3 minutes
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3183993 - 09/26/04 11:09 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Stories with illustrations kick ass!!


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You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!


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InvisibleLocus
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/11/04
Posts: 6,049
Loc: ny/europe/other
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3184085 - 09/26/04 11:33 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

wow, damn bitch!


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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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Offlinewhiterabbit13
I'm late

Registered: 02/21/04
Posts: 1,360
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3184120 - 09/26/04 11:38 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I liked the story. It was even like a picture book.


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3184162 - 09/26/04 11:46 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

pick up dog shit? Are you serious? I have never picked up my dogs shit.
This onetime my dog shit in some dudes yard, and this dude asked me to pick it up. No problem, i said. Can you just leme barrow a bag. He told me to go home and get one. so i said, "if you want me to pick it up, your going to have to help me out, because i'm damb sure not going to use my hands."
he started yelling, so i gave him the finger and walked off. Dude threw, and almost hit me with a shovel...
i was 13, and he was a big fucker, so i just jacked all his lawn ornaments, and all the shit out of his car


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Offlinenothing
Old Hand

Registered: 07/03/00
Posts: 1,626
Last seen: 7 months, 3 days
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady *DELETED* [Re: funkymonk]
    #3184184 - 09/26/04 11:52 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Post deleted by Sir Ian

Reason for deletion: _



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OfflineChiefThunderbong
Inhale to theChief
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Registered: 10/18/02
Posts: 3,647
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: nothing]
    #3184266 - 09/27/04 12:08 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Why use a dog? Human feces is even more disgusting.


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Yeah spinnin' around again
yea caught in a tailspin


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InvisibleHeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
Male

Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3184563 - 09/27/04 01:32 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Cut her dog's head off with a chainsaw.


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Invisiblefunkymonk
Get's down, withthe get-down.
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Registered: 11/29/02
Posts: 8,160
Loc: saskatchewan
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: HeavyToilet]
    #3184774 - 09/27/04 02:32 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

We told her that we were going to follow her home, so she 'ducked' into an alley and totaly disappeared.


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OfflineMrBump
Third prize is you're fired
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Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 4,254
Loc: Where Art Meets Crime
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3184954 - 09/27/04 03:22 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

what a rude bitch, you should have made her cry...
people do this in my neighorhood all the time, goddam yuppies....
totally indicative of the lack of respect everyone has for eachother.

"i want a dog,
but im too good to almost have to physically touch its shit."


--------------------
If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?


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OfflineSigno
manamana
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Registered: 03/05/02
Posts: 1,949
Loc: Purple Haze
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3184964 - 09/27/04 03:29 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Old people can be crabby! :thumbdown:


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Correlation is not causation!


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OfflineCmonkey67
Stoner

Registered: 09/13/03
Posts: 129
Loc: San Francisco Bay area
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3184995 - 09/27/04 03:41 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Some sort of retribution must happen...btw nice ass ToTheSummit


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3185035 - 09/27/04 04:01 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

seriously, who here that owns a dog, actually pics up the dogs shit?
Why? outside, dogshit dries, and hardens in a day, 2 tops. then it decomposes, and fertilizes back into nature.
your telling me you actually confronted some old lady because she didn't pick up dog-shit, than threatened her with a city ordinance, than tried to fallow her home.
Your lucky somebody didn't fuck you up. If that were my mom you would have gotten fucked up.


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada Flag
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: funkymonk]
    #3185070 - 09/27/04 04:31 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Hey FM. Find out where she lives and next time you see her dog(s) give them some exlax, when she lets them into the house again they'll shit....i mean defacate all over everything :grin:


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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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Invisiblezeta
Stranger

Registered: 05/25/02
Posts: 3,972
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: Dreamer987]
    #3185349 - 09/27/04 06:51 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

If you're not joking, you're a fucking moron


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OfflineKidShelleen
watch thesensations
Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 88
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: Dreamer987]
    #3185565 - 09/27/04 10:04 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Dude, YOU are the reason we have to have cops in this society.  You have no respect for other people's property or the harmony of the community.  You are no different than the industry that dumps its poisonous waste into the river because it is too cheap and lazy to dispose of it properly.  "Fuck the people downstream."

This just strikes me as being a metaphor for what is killing this country - everyone wants to have their dog but they want someone else to pick up the shit.  Who cares who has to pick it up, as long as it isn't them.  :nonono:
Pathetic.

KS


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OfflinePhluck
Carpal Tunnel
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Registered: 04/11/99
Posts: 11,393
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 months, 10 days
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: Dreamer987]
    #3185824 - 09/27/04 12:20 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

seriously, who here that owns a dog, actually pics up the dogs shit?

Anyone with a sense of dencency. Ever been mowing your lawn and step in a huge pile of dogshit because some inconsiderate jackass was too lazy to pick it up? There is a bylaw for a reason.


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"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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Invisiblefunkymonk
Get's down, withthe get-down.
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/29/02
Posts: 8,160
Loc: saskatchewan
Re: 55+ Year Old Lady [Re: Dreamer987]
    #3185858 - 09/27/04 12:34 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Dreamer987 said:
seriously, who here that owns a dog, actually pics up the dogs shit?
Why? outside, dogshit dries, and hardens in a day, 2 tops. then it decomposes, and fertilizes back into nature.
your telling me you actually confronted some old lady because she didn't pick up dog-shit, than threatened her with a city ordinance, than tried to fallow her home.
Your lucky somebody didn't fuck you up. If that were my mom you would have gotten fucked up.




I could care less, we confronted her mostly as a joke. And it wasn't until she told us to "fuck off and go to hell" that we got serious about it...And if that were your mom she probably would of came home with me.


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