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Offlinecleaner
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Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me?
    #3178237 - 09/25/04 08:06 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Because it does afraid. And it hides from me. The question is not whther i've grown balls big enough to face my fears, the question is how can i chase and catch my fears in a trap?


I think i came up with a (semi) decent model of my fears. Fears and past traumas are allocated a memory block in my subconcious. So in theory all i have to do to access them is call up that address of the specific fear block in question, sort of like clicking a file on your desktop called 'My Fear' and all the settings and control panels pop up.

The problem, since its subconsious, my boot sector was formated, even thou the file 'My Fears' still exist on my hard drive, the link is lost.



Whats the solution. I find that i can create associations that remind me of my fears and lead me to it. However that is not easy.

If you read my dream post
there i speak of tunnels and walls of death, well i could sense in my dream that if i went on exploring those tunnels it would bring me to my fears which i could disable.

The problem, it's not as easy as 1,2,3. The road undergound is very dangerous. All it takes is one wrong move, one humble emotion, and i loose the 'link'. (In that dream loosing the link means i woke up.)

I had another dream about 6 month ago. I was chasing Satan in it, literally, i only remember now the end of it. Satan was running away from me down some stair case, down and down. I remember almost catching up with him when we reached the end of stair case and there was a door going down, Satan enetered though it and as i was running following him, he slammed the door in my face, a heavy ancient wooden door with metal braces in my face. It was locked and i woke up.

Then a few days ago i had a vision at night, i saw a huge wooden door, looking ancient, like a castle entrance in some chamber.
I could sence, i knew, that behind that door is the Holy Grail of my fears, all i have to do is explore it and stay strong. But that vision didnt last long.

That is the biggest problem i am facing, i find it very hard to stabilise my 4d explorations.
I want to try ketamine some day and see if it helps.

So anyway, how would you suggest i get in touch with my fears?


Edited by cleaner (09/27/04 01:14 PM)


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: cleaner]
    #3178299 - 09/25/04 09:12 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

fear evreything :wink:


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Offlinebmarley3434
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: Gomp]
    #3178565 - 09/25/04 12:20 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

i think that what youre talking is a self created delusion and a way to avoid the things you actually fear.. and the things you are chasing you dont fear.. i used to have a dream when i was little where i would have it out with jason from friday the 13th reoccuring all the time.. and he wouldnt die no matter what i did.. but i was never scared of the dream.. it was an intense exciting fun dream .. just because you are having archetypal "scary" characters in your dream .. does not mean that it is a manifestation of your internal fear .. sometimes people just like to have entertaining play partners.. if i dreamt about chasing satan that wouldnt be scary cus i know a. satan is fake.. and b. i am chasing him..only if you are digging deep into your inner fear are you facing it not as cartoon manifestations, but as pure fear are you facing your fears. but you will succeed if you dig deep but stop playing with muppets first hah. but this is only external interpretation .. so hope it helps a bit


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: cleaner]
    #3178690 - 09/25/04 01:23 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

The question is not whther i've grown balls big enough to face my fears...

Macroorchidism (enlarged testicles) is a serious medical condition frequently indicative of mental retardation and not something to strive for.


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The proof is in the pudding.


Edited by Swami (09/26/04 02:45 AM)


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: Swami]
    #3178734 - 09/25/04 01:32 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

one of the best uses of lucid dreaming is to seek out threatenting or frightening images and face them, chase them, beat them or eat them. Thus conquering your internal fears

(i had a lucid dream where i was in this huge graveyhard full of hideous zombies who were chasin me. I ran at first and shot them with arrows which was doin the job but then this huge unholy monstrousity came at me , a big fucker and i was scared shitless but then i was like nah nah fuck that and i turned around, walked up to the thing, looked it in its ugly face and took a huge bite out of its head. this changed the setting of the dream to something nice and happy)


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Everything I post is fiction. This poster is no longer active.


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Invisiblekaiowas
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: cleaner]
    #3179744 - 09/25/04 07:23 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

"So anyway, how would you suggest i get in touch with my fears? "

bring your fear out into the open and deal with them.  sort through them logically.  see why something still bothers you so and then get to the root cause of it. 

like I had a fear of heights. so was it the heights that I was afraid of?  no because I love rollercoasters :wink:

so what was I afraid of.

the answer is the fear of dying.  why? because I only fear something when my ego doesn't feel safe, and I'm still afraid of heights :grin:

I think it's alright to be afraid from time to time, just don't let it dominate your consciousness. 

and when you do have fear, it might be a really good opportunity to look at yourself and see if you can change it!

:heart:


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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Offlinecleaner
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: kaiowas]
    #3185713 - 09/27/04 11:20 AM (12 years, 3 months ago)

I was abused in a peculiar manner: i was exposed to high energies of 5D for a little while, then sharply diped and droped down itno terror and oblivion.

Now my heart is ducked, everytime i start feeling happy, everytime i feel love, everytime i percieve higher freq energies i am afraid that it will follow by terror. And it's not easy to defeat this fear, if i remain strong - i start percieveing even higher energies of love which brings up even more fear that a terror will follow.

I am caught in a trap.

Its like i do not afraid anything now right, but all i takes is 1 small preview of mutlidimensionaly and i am thrown into uncontrolable terror.


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Offlinecleaner
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: cleaner]
    #3186018 - 09/27/04 01:24 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

And another thing

Last few times i tripped i noticed how my perception changes, like normally everythings solid and dence, after taking active ingredients everything beomes fluid, i become aware of this feeling of dread deep inside, i feel naked and ashamed, it feels like i'm a baby in a womb waiting to be born.

I see sad faces of my own self manifesting. Whatever was the cause of it, i am somewhat sceaerd to find out, i know it's not related to MY life here. I know i am innocent yet somehow i get a lot of guilt and grief.

But then i analys these sad faces


And start to question what is 'sad' and why i believe it's 'bad'.
It feels not nice, but then i ride it out and accept it, and then i feel this pulling this powerful magnetic force that rises and pulsates through me, turns me inside out, and then ... and then i freak out and it stops.


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Offlinecleaner
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: cleaner]
    #3186042 - 09/27/04 01:29 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

Looking at that pic, interesting thing i noticed when i tripped but forgot.

How lower body parts shift into root like structures that go deep into earth under force of gravity? Sort of your body takes root with 1D  :shocked: :heart: :smile: :tongue2: :sun: :rasta: :stoned:


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: cleaner]
    #3186178 - 09/27/04 02:02 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

sorry to hear that cleaner, multidimensionality can be freaky shit, my first dose of what i now think of as 4d energy left me crying all night. Then i felt really peacefull and happy for a while while that shit sunk in. Then i had another dose that was like an uncontainable excitement and shakyness, followed by a physical and emotional crash.

For me it all seems to go in waves, what goes up must come down, hardish. Not sure how to avoid this yet.


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Everything I post is fiction. This poster is no longer active.


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Invisibletruekimbo2
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #3191080 - 09/28/04 12:40 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

what the hell is being exposed to multi-dimensionality?

but as to the fear and sadness. its an odd assumption to make that this has nothing to do with your life right now.

however, if you don't want to be direct, practice relaxing your body fully (with good posture!) or alternately practice being able to hold your mind steady. either of those are good for keeping fear out of your head.


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You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Facing your fears? What if fear afraid of facing me? [Re: truekimbo2]
    #3191238 - 09/28/04 01:37 PM (12 years, 3 months ago)

being exposed to multidimensionality is when you realize that everything you have ever believed or known is basically an illusion, a facade. The original doom example is a good one, imagine you wake up one morning look at your room and suddenly the walls come crashing down and you find yourself in a totally different world. This is a metaphor but thats kind of what it feels like.

Its overwhelming, another perfect example is platos cave. You spend your entire life in a little cave watching shadows on a wall. Then one day you stumble outside and see a panoramic view stretching out in front of you. You realize that your 'reality' your whole world is only about 0.1% of the real picture, and in that light everything you have ever seen or done seems totally insignificant.

This is something like what your first glimpse of multidimensionality is like, at least for me.


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Everything I post is fiction. This poster is no longer active.


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