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Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 68
Slave to good looks
    #3177388 - 09/25/04 01:14 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

For some people in my experience talking about it is almost considered taboo when they really dwell into it with their personal lives, too sacred to bring to clear conscious thought because it makes us reflect on who we love and why we love him/her so much, and not the other reasons we make ourselves believe why we love them when a good chunk of it is based on looks and in some cases almost all on looks. We even treat family members better based on their looks as much as we'd like to think otherwise.

We add so many exaggerated or even fake reasons to love a good looking person to help ourselves justify being with that person (from what Ive observed from other people, including myself). Perhaps because of our inability to accept that we're being controlled so robotic-like without any wavering in our programming and not knowing where else to get such a high. Its like we're trying for who knows what reason to find another reason to love someone other than for good looks/reproduction. (The scientific view being that good looks = good probable health with no disease = good mating partner.)

I dont consider myself to be free from it either just like everyone else. I jack off almost exclusively to attractive faces/bodies and the same mentality I find myself in when really attracted to someone (such as love) even if I make myself believe its for other reasons. I really come only to the realization that a solid %50 of my attraction could be attributed purely on looks, once I replace their face with a average face or an ugly one I come much easier to this realization. Ofcourse with whatever face regardless of looks comes the memory associated with that person through whatever experiences. But those experiences are still tied greatly into the looks.

It can get depressing for me sometimes because I know how much control this force has over us and even when we stare the subject straight in the eye we're still extremely biased. I hate having to put conscious effort in trying to like someone more simply because their not as good looking, as my senses try to make me deem them less valuable automatically.

Ofcourse this subject isnt only related to humans, it goes for everything. "Awwww look at the lady bug that just landed on me, I think I'll place this adorable creature somewhere where it can thrive.. oh look at the beautiful butterfly gently flying in the breeze.. Ewww! a earwig!" *SQUASH*.

Even as a kid I found myself treating ants too nicely, my reasoning was their very smart and work greatly in a society. I would take earwigs and rip them apart laying their guts near an ant colony lined up like a buffet. But what happens when I try to think of termites in the same fasion?, I get disgusted by their worm like bodies and enjoy watching ants invade termite mounds for the satisfaction of seeing them wiped out.

The Simpons portrayed the humour well in an episode where they where at a carnival and one cute sheep showed up and they where like "aww" then an even smaller and cuter sheep showed up and they where like "awwwww" and then the smallest cutest one showed up with a pink bow-tie and they where like "AAwwwwwwww!", then the first one showed up and got in the way and homer wacked it out of the way with his arm, funny as hell.

Basicly what I want to know is how do you guys find yourself trying to be fair to all living beings?. Where do you draw the line with humans or any other animal/insect. Feel free to add any general comment aswell :thumbup:.

I just wish to love all creatures on this planet no matter how revolting, but sometimes, its just so hard...

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Two Spirited

Registered: 08/12/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
Re: Slave to good looks [Re: tracing]
    #3177449 - 09/25/04 01:30 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)


Basicly what I want to know is how do you guys find yourself trying to be fair to all living beings?. Where do you draw the line with humans or any other animal/insect. Feel free to add any general comment aswell .

One must free one's self from prejudice.One must hold all life sacred from the tiny insects/organisms to the huge blue whales.All life is sacred and divine.I myself highly respect all animals/being on earth.I treat all humans equally as well.

Of course i was not always this way.I used to be very very bad about things like this but after a few years of spiritual development I gradually came to be where I am today.Have loving kindness and respect for all life. :grin:

Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/

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great ape

Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 1,306
Loc: cipherland
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Re: Slave to good looks [Re: tracing]
    #3177783 - 09/25/04 03:13 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

that's the weirdest post I've ever read.

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Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 68
Re: Slave to good looks [Re: Mixomatosis]
    #3177973 - 09/25/04 04:21 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

heh, why?

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Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 4,284
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Re: Slave to good looks *DELETED* [Re: tracing]
    #3177989 - 09/25/04 04:29 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Post deleted by Frog

The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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Registered: 01/21/02
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Re: Slave to good looks [Re: Frog]
    #3178010 - 09/25/04 04:47 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

com?pas?sion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (km-pshn)
Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it. See Synonyms at pity.

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Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 508
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
Re: Slave to good looks [Re: tracing]
    #3178202 - 09/25/04 07:28 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Thats agreat post tracing.

Sexiality is a delicate subject.
There is a thin line that separates men from boys and God from beast.

When a typical egoistic male looks at a woman he automatically assumes that hes supposed to fuck her. Why? Well in adolecence during his first sexual experience his brain learned that such activity brings pleasure. He then goes on through life unconciously seeking these brief flashes of extacy known as orgasm.

There is no one to blame. Brain is a rational machine. It can not comprehend deeper meaning to life so it can only seek and 'feel' through darkness in search of what feels good.

Its in our DNA. The trick is in realising your actions, why and what you do. Its so lame how such lovers always complain that after a while sex with the same person becomes meaningless and doesn't bring the same sporadic waves of pleasure. Just look at all those 'celebrity couples' in magazines pictured walking together  :rolleyes: Looks on their face like thay cant stand spending another minute in the company of each other but stick together for the sake of image and publicity.

To liberate from sexual dualism, one must first question, why would you want to shag the person in question? Is it animal robotic instinct that commands you to?

You must get deeper. Analys sexuality from spiritual point of view. Why does a male want to stick his thingy in woamns body parts? That thingy is what separates us from whole. Male and female are one. Penis and vigana are what separates us in 3d. By following animal impulses one begots hes God-hood.

I would never consider having sex with anyone whom i do not love.
When you love someone, you value intimacy and friendship primarily. Sex comes as expression of your facination with each other.

On the subject of ugliness  :shocked: :laugh:
Does your partner has to look identical to FHM cover? I actually noticed that as time passes i find those cover girls less and less appealing. Just look at them. Look in their eyes. They are sceard. Di you hear what i said? THEY ARE SHIT SCEARD!! They afraid that a male will loose interest in them. They look in the camera, expecting males to drool at them. What happens if a self respecting fellaw walk by and doesn't offer them aanything other than a simple friendly smile, the same smile he just offered a grunny on a bench?

Her ego expectations will fall down like a big pile of crap and on the inside she will feel worse than that woman in big red pic.

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Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: Slave to good looks [Re: cleaner]
    #3178466 - 09/25/04 11:24 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

certainly isnt news to me. My only problem is thinking up nice things to say about to my girlfriends about why their so special eg. "i feel like you really understand me. I feel so good when im with you etc" when i know damn well its mostly "you are so fuckin hot"

likewise its hard to think of ways to let a girl down gently.. "im just so busy these days i couldnt give you the time you deserve, i need to focus on work and school" = "once the clothes came off you werent hot enough to get me hard so this just isnt going to work"

it also explains why i put so much time into chilling with the most annoyin airheaded dumbass blonde girl ( who was very hot and slutty) and yet totally blew off a sweet intelligent girl who wasnt

girls: dont ever let yourself think that boys are not disgusting pigs in that respect, we are

dont fool yourselves, i dont

it really is a sick thing.And its even worse now cuz media has exposed us to so many unrealistically hot women per second that the standards for me at least have be come impossibly high. 95% of girls are simply not attractive enough for me, which is ridiculous, but i cant deny that TV has done that to me./


Everything I post is fiction.

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Registered: 12/10/99
Posts: 13,349
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Re: Slave to good looks [Re: tracing]
    #3178599 - 09/25/04 12:35 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

You can stop your self-recriminations. BEAUTY, called Tiphereth - the central Sephiroth [Sphere] on the Kabbalistic Tree of Life says it all in a Word to me (of course, I need to elaborate for others :wink: ).  Tiphereth, BEAUTY, is the Heart of GOD. It is equivalent to the Son, Christ, Agape-love, Logos in Christianized Kabbala. BEAUTY can manifest itself through physical symmetry, physical attributes in nature's orderly bee-hives, ant-nests, larval-pupea-butterfly transformations (the Greek word Psyche, or soul, also means Butterfly, apparently because of this transformation from maggot-like grub to winged-beauty). Logos - reason, purpose, meaning - brings order, symmetry from chaos.

I am in a phase of re-defining the anthropomorphic-intellectual notion of GOD to include the Feminine. I am doing this internally as well as artistically-externally on my shrine table with figures of the Feminine Sophia-Wisdom, Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalene representing earthly manifestations of Eternal Beauty in GOD.

Conversely, there is the Profane, there is Evil, and as Lucifer [Light-Bearer] appears as a beautiful angel of light, the Feminine version of evil, depicted in Hebrew myth first as Adam's first wife Lilith who abandoned him for filthy lustings with demons, and from whom Orthodox Jews still protect their new-borns with talismans against the Terrible Feminine, is the Feminine correlate of evil.

Babies have clearly shown their preferences for symmetrical (which is one global definition of facial beauty) over asymmetrical faces. Shown pictures with facial features mixed up (like eyes where the mouth should be or lips in place of eyes) infants will freak out!!! A super-model smiling at a baby will be very well received while a wrinkled, bulbous-nosed old crone is more likely to evoke a fear response. Of course a pleasant voice can ameliorate this fear, or familiarity with former good treatment, but first impressions are little different from yours and mine - who would you rather lean in for a kiss? Fortunately, true BEAUTY comes from within, and can suffuse even the homliest physical features, transforming them like a Mother Teresa.

I am usually amazed and disturbed when I receive some pornographic mail order video solicitation, and see hundred upon hundreds of physically stunning women with the souls of proverbial harlots. It is a profanation of the 'image and likeness of GOD' which is sold to the highest bidder. Presumably, their invisible images are 'ugly as Hell' - their personality attributes of greed, hatred of male-kind, utter and complete materialism, a host of personality disorders: Borderline, Narcissistic, Histrionic, Antisocial, etc.

Thus, for me, I must see through the surface structures to the animating spirit for me to attribute BEAUTY to human beings - particularly (my bias) to females. I am prone to immediate sexual stimulation even by 2-dimensional photos, let alone real human encounters by females who harness enhanced sexual desirability in the service of material greed. I am careful to discern the power of Eros from BEAUTY. Whether attraction or aversion (Eros and Thanatos impulses to merge with or destroy) to certain insects, or fetishistic attraction to specific feminine attributes, we must remember that COMPASSION (Rahamin - an alternative designation for the Sphere of Tiphereth) transcends these forces of attraction and repulsion. True BEAUTY is also COMPASSIONATE, which is to say that a physically gorgeous girl who is cold and cruel, is by definition NOT BEAUTIFUL. Of course, for the ladies in the audience, the exact same thing is true of strikingly handsome men with the corresponding personal attributes. This is the "glamour of Satan" that I rejected at my Baptism. One must be discerning enough to know the difference AND to care, unless one wishes to pay the price for its acceptance. We cannot rely upon our senses alone. We must use WISDOM to dicern whether COMPASSION is present, or merely illusion, an 'appearance' of BEAUTY but insubstantial; a vampyr with no reflection, no soul.

Edited by MarkostheGnostic (09/25/04 12:44 PM)

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Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 1,043
Loc: miami, florida
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Re: Slave to good looks [Re: tracing]
    #3178633 - 09/25/04 12:52 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

I don't really have a problem with the fact that I'm attracted by looks, among other things. No matter how hot a girl is, if she's dumb, I'm turned off. I'll be nice to them, in the same way I'd be nice to any girl I wasn't attracted to, but I'm not attracted to dumb girls.


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Re: Slave to good looks [Re: tracing]
    #3178781 - 09/25/04 01:56 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

This reminds me of an old post I made. If you think about things objectively you realize our sense of beauty is just a filter in our brain that sorts good mates from bad mates for propagation of the healthiest genes. I don't think you should hate on yourself for being drawn to physically attractive people. All that's necessary is to know why, and to question it.

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Livin in theTwilight Zone...
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Re: Slave to good looks [Re: tracing]
    #3178959 - 09/25/04 03:14 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

To the mind-identified, i.e. to the egoic-self, pleasure is what is mistaken for true Love, which is a state of Being that arises from beyond the mind.

The egoic self seeks pleasure which in itself has the polarity of pain inescapably attached to it. In this case, attachment with pleasure via visually-stimulating beauty which is skin-deep, the pain comes when the beauty ceases to exist, whether by old age or some other series of incidents.

This is just an example of one of many pleasure/pain cycles that are caused by being identified with the dualistic mind. You cannot have the good without the bad.
The aforementioned type of pain/pleasure cycle relating to such ?slavery to good looks? can happen individually as well. For example, I recently read of a woman who died in her eighties. As her beauty started to fade and became ravaged by old age, she grew desperately unhappy and became a recluse. She, too, had identified with a condition: her external appearance. First, the condition gave her a happy sense of self, then an unhappy one. If she had been able to connect with the formless and timeless life within, she could have watched and allowed the fading of her external form from a place of serenity and peace. Moreover, her external form would have become increasingly transparent to the light shining through from her ageless true nature, so her beauty would not really have faded but simply become transformed into spiritual beauty. However, nobody told her that this is possible. The most essential kind of knowledge is not yet widely accessible.

The Buddha says that pain or suffering arises through desire or craving and that to be free of pain we need to cut the bonds of desire.
All cravings are the mind seeking salvation or fulfillment in external things and in the future as a substitute for the joy of Being. As long as I am my mind, I am those cravings, those needs, wants, attachments, and aversions, and apart from them there is no ?I? except as a mere possibility, an unfulfilled potential, a seed that has not yet sprouted.

When consciousness frees itself from its identification with physical and mental forms, it becomes what we may call pure or enlightened consciousness, or presence. This has already happened in a few individuals, and it seems destined to happen soon on a much larger scale, although there is no absolute guarantee it will happen. Most humans are still in the grip of the egoic mode of consciousness: identified with their mind and run by their mind.

Most people are so imprisoned in their minds that the beauty of nature does not really exist for them. They might say, ?What a pretty flower,? but that?s just a mechanical mental labeling. Because they are not still, not present, they don?t truly see the flower, don?t feel its essence, its holiness ? just as they don?t know themselves, don?t feel their own essence, their own holiness.

Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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Qie Lan
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 104
Loc: Wide open space
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Re: Slave to good looks [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #3179850 - 09/25/04 07:57 PM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Very well put, SM !
But all you guys out there, don`t be so hard on yourselves.
Sometimes my inner stillness gets invaded by..say, the image of Hugh Jackman in Boxer Shorts.
I rationalize by telling myself that it`s the spiritual beauty that shines through and the pleasant exterior is just the icing on the cake...  :nut:

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Amazon Shop: Scales

General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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