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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
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"you do as much harm....
    #3168871 - 09/23/04 05:47 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

when you take offense as when you give it"-ken keyes

getting over taking things personally to me has been one of the bigger challenges in my life so far, and many times I still see my ego come up and say "no I don't agree," and then I tend to get mad over it.


what I interpret from this statement is that you do damage to yourself and to the other person when you take offense.

I'll take myself for example.

I was told not to do something today, and the manager said it to me in what I view as a very belittling manner. so what did I do? I got angry and frustrated, cause I was dong the best I could, but it wasn't good enough.

after thinking about it for a while, I realized that it was just my ego playing games with my head. It was forcing my will upon reality, and when reality didn't conform to the way I wanted it to (as it often does) and then I'm left in a negative state.

another example: I gave an idea to someone, and they flat out rejected it. I got mad over it. why? cause I identified the idea with myself. I thought it was me, and so my ego needed to defend that idea at all costs. one definate way to do this is to incite anger, which closes my mind, and doesn't allow for any new and otherwise refreshing ideas to occur because my focus is too preoccupied with trying to defend my ideas.

I think the same can be said when sharing ideas with each other. no matter how it is presented, if I feel angry, upset, or frustrated because of what another person writes, I know it's a problem that I have, not the other person. why make myself feel uncomfortable when it doesn't do me any good?

if I don't push my own buttons, then they can never be pressed.


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: kaiowas]
    #3169070 - 09/23/04 09:09 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I've just found that life's too short to take offense to things. Even when someone says something deliberately to hurt me, I figure those words only have power over me if I let them. By not taking offense, I refrain from reciprocating that negative energy, and thus it just fades away. If someone doesn't like me, I figure that's their own little trip, so let them deal with it.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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InvisibleClean
the lense
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: kaiowas]
    #3169073 - 09/23/04 09:10 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

bingo.  A+.  bullseye.  right on the money.  score.  100 points.  you win.
:grin:
we are completely responsible for ourselves PERIOD.

why is it so hard for people to really understand this and stop blaming others for how they feel?

i've known this basic truth for years yet i find i will sometimes get flustered over something, and of course it usually makes things worse to follow those emotional tangets.

i'm starting to think that this is just one of the caveats to being human that we can't do much about except have fun with it...


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InvisibleTeragon
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Registered: 02/21/01
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: kaiowas]
    #3169101 - 09/23/04 09:40 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Good post kaiowas! :grin: :thumbup:


Hey, even Fucknuckle knows this, look at his post from OTD a few days ago:
Quote:

Oh and one other big secret in life is this..........

No person can make you mad.
You make the choice to be mad
You are the only person to make you mad

If you can master that then you will have peace.
 




He said that after setting someone in his place. Just seemed to correlate.


--------------------
need that cash to feed them jones.


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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Registered: 07/14/03
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: Teragon]
    #3176366 - 09/24/04 08:38 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

to me taking responsibility for ones own feelings is one of the best actions a person can do for themself.


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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Onlinedeff
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: kaiowas]
    #3176378 - 09/24/04 08:41 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I agree :smile:.

It's when we realize that we are the creators of our own emotions that we can begin to truly experience our true selves (the creator/observer)


--------------------



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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: deff]
    #3176417 - 09/24/04 08:51 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

deff said:
I agree :smile:.

It's when we realize that we are the creators of our own emotions that we can begin to truly experience our true selves (the creator/observer)




to me this is the essence of creating reality :grin:


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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Onlinedeff
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: kaiowas]
    #3176423 - 09/24/04 08:52 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

t'is :cool:


--------------------



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OfflineGomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: deff]
    #3178323 - 09/25/04 09:32 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

selflessness


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: kaiowas]
    #3178669 - 09/25/04 01:15 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

kaiowas said:
Quote:

deff said:
I agree :smile:.

It's when we realize that we are the creators of our own emotions that we can begin to truly experience our true selves (the creator/observer)




to me this is the essence of creating reality :grin:



100%


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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/19/00
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: deff]
    #3179382 - 09/25/04 05:53 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

It's when we realize that we are the creators of our own emotions

We may be able to control our reaction/behavior, but we do not create our emotions. If you came home and found your significant other banging your best friend, your emotions are pretty much primal and predetermined. Do you truly believe that you could instantaneously create joy in this situation? Must I start yet another Swami Challenge?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/12/04
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: Swami]
    #3179420 - 09/25/04 06:01 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

We do indeed have full control of emotions.In the given example,many emotions would be had by many different people.Some respond with fear,others with anger and many others such as laughter,joy,no emotion,denial,anxiety,depression,etc.

Everyone is different.Also context plays a part as well to how someone decides to respond.For example,If one was looking for a way out of the marriage because it was gone to all hell and they lived in a state that has fault in divorces,then coming home to such a situation could easily brighten one's day.Since in all likeliness they'd get to keep everything of theirs and their wife would get nothing.I have heard of such cases and heard of people being glad to walk in on such a situation during their marriage.


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3179472 - 09/25/04 06:14 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Now "creation" has morphed into "control"? These are interchangable concepts? Methinks not. I have never built or created a car, but I can control one. Perhaps if my IQ was high enough, I could overcome this blindspot.

Sounds like you are ready for the Swami Emotional Creation Challenge. I will hook you up to blood pressure, GSR and heart rate monitors, then create a stressful situation or joyful situation, then you may demonstrate by creating a seemingly contrary emotional response.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


Edited by Swami (09/25/04 06:34 PM)


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OfflineUnenlightenedOne
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Registered: 08/12/04
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: Swami]
    #3179514 - 09/25/04 06:27 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

We do indeed have full control of emotions




Sorry I shorted my setence a bit as I thought it would be apparent as to what I meant.

It should read "We do indeed have full control of the emotions we create."


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3179531 - 09/25/04 06:30 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Are you willing to put a large and equal sum of money to mine to prove your emotional creation hypothesis?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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Offlinetrinity7
Qie Lan
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 104
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: kaiowas]
    #3179533 - 09/25/04 06:31 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Here are my 2 cents:
emotions occur and then dissolve again.
We don`t create them but we are free to get attached to them...or not.


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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: Swami]
    #3179538 - 09/25/04 06:32 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

as always swami...great point!


when someone says something to you that you didn't like at all and you could responded out of anger. now lets say you didn't like your own responce to the situation and tried to change it. first by becoming aware of how you react, and then logically thinking it out. now if you do this enough times, if that same situation arises, you just might not get as angry as before. do this enough times and one might not react to the situation in anger at all when it pops up again.

so even if we can't create our own emotions we can have a definate say of when they come up. you would then be allowing the emotion to appear in situations you deem necessary.

to me common sense says that of course though there are always exceptions, such as your example of a person you love cheating on you, not having food or shelter, etc.

thoughts?


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/12/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 11 years, 4 days
Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: Swami]
    #3179579 - 09/25/04 06:41 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

A) It cannot be proven or disproven currently.
B) I don't have large sums of money to put up.
C) I dont like your little tests.
D) There is no fair or real test for this.
E) Your little tests are meaningless and aren't worth wasting my time or life over.
F) I really dont like you. LMAO


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3179587 - 09/25/04 06:43 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Liking or not liking someone is irrelevant when discussing philosophical ideas.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineUnenlightenedOne
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Registered: 08/12/04
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Re: "you do as much harm.... [Re: Swami]
    #3179600 - 09/25/04 06:48 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I feel it is.If I dont like someone I'm not going to share many of my views with them nor am I going to waste my time with it.It really doesnt matter to me what your little tests accomplish or dont or what you think of my philosophies or etc.

I feel your little tests arise from ego and self doubt.I feel you MUST prove or disprove every little thing no matter if it was done correctly or not.I also feel it arises from skepticism and disbelief.If one doesnt have an open mind all talks will definitely be fruitless.

I feel your tests are an ultimate waste of my time and I will not participate in them.You unfortunately remind me of skeptical scientist who force explanations into everything whether they are correct or not.They dont care as long as they secure their ideas and disprove all that oppose.


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/


Edited by UnenlightenedOne (09/25/04 07:15 PM)


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