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InvisibleKingOftheThing
the cool fool
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Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 27,389
Loc: USA
God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination
    #3165733 - 09/22/04 06:36 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

If you listen to all these George W Bush voters , homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. However these christian, republican fucktards are hypocrites and pick , choose dogma they want to follow. Anyway I found this very funny, its a great read.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I m! ay indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


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InvisibleLazerouth
Drunkard

Registered: 10/16/00
Posts: 1,091
Loc: England
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3165893 - 09/22/04 07:08 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

im pretty sure that leviticus is jewish not christian


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Invisible2Experimental
Male User Gallery
Registered: 01/15/03
Posts: 18,073
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3166107 - 09/22/04 07:52 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

they are saying Jesus himself was gay...all that time with the Apostles... hm, and they like the ride the donkey... was this a joke KOTT?



also, anyone who follows the old testament to the bone is retarded.. Jesus abolished the old testament


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
Stranger
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Registered: 06/14/04
Posts: 10,329
Loc: On the Border
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3166162 - 09/22/04 08:04 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Stoning is the only proper treatment for these heretics.


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InvisibleHuehuecoyotl
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Registered: 06/14/04
Posts: 10,329
Loc: On the Border
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: 2Experimental]
    #3166165 - 09/22/04 08:05 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

"also, anyone who follows the old testament to the bone is retarded.. Jesus abolished the old testament"

Cool!!! The Ten Commandments are toast!!! I can do whatever I please and still go to heaven.


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InvisibleDiploidM
Cuban

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: Lazerouth]
    #3166183 - 09/22/04 08:09 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

im pretty sure that leviticus is jewish not christian

Jesus was Jewish.

Many (all?) Christian faiths and Catholics especially claim Leviticus as part of their dogma and use it to, among other things, condemn homosexuality and other things they don't like. :rolleyes:

Ironically, these same groups when confronted by contradictions in their dogma, sanctioned slavery for example, often play down Leviticus in favor of the New Testament.  :rolleyes:

By the way, the word "homosexual" was first used late in the 19th century. Before then, there was no Hebrew word that meant "homosexual."  Whenever you see the word used in an English translation of the Bible, you should be wary that the translators might be inserting their own prejudices into the text.  :thumbdown:

Edit: typo


--------------------
Republican Values:

1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you.
2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child.
3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer.

4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.


Edited by Diploid (09/22/04 09:07 PM)


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OfflineStinky
Toaster ofPop-tarts

Registered: 08/31/04
Posts: 61
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3166229 - 09/22/04 08:21 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

How dare you all question the Bible! Its all the truth, because it said so.


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OfflinePanoramix
Getafix
Male

Registered: 11/26/03
Posts: 634
Loc: Everywhere else
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3166309 - 09/22/04 08:39 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I'm not sure that stoning is the only acceptable option.  One must remember the limited means of the time.  I opine that they would have used more elaborate methods were the means made readily available to them like rocks were.  Why, they did just fine burning heretics for a good long while after that, and provided they've the firewood to spare I can't say as that that mightn't be preferrable.  And seeing as God seem to like roasting flesh-smells, going with a bonfire rather than your traditional stoning might just earn you extra points with the Big Fella.

Hurray for Bonus God Points!!  :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


--------------------
Don't worry, I'm wrong.


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InvisibleKingOftheThing
the cool fool
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Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 27,389
Loc: USA
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: Stinky]
    #3166366 - 09/22/04 08:57 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Stinky said:
How dare you all question the Bible!  Its all the truth, because it said so.




exactly, i think people who eat shellfish are going to hell  :rolleyes:


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis (Retired)
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 25,716
Loc: Iceland
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3166388 - 09/22/04 09:04 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I want seared pork and beef meat


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction. This poster is no longer active.


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InvisibleTeragon
Noddy

Registered: 02/21/01
Posts: 36,253
Loc: Lost in the Patterns
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3166456 - 09/22/04 09:18 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

Hahaa....yes...yes you are. :wink:

KOTT, yousa liking S&P, huh? :grin::grin:

Btw, nice post. :thumbup:


--------------------
need that cash to feed them jones.


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OfflineScarfmeister
Thrill Seeker
Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 8,127
Loc: The will to power
Last seen: 3 years, 25 days
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3166504 - 09/22/04 09:28 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

KingOftheThing said:
If you listen to all these George W Bush voters , homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. However these christian, republican fucktards are hypocrites and pick , choose dogma they want to follow. Anyway I found this very funny, its a great read.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

A: Yes smite them in the name of the lord

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

A: i would say minimum 10000$ us

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

A: if they take offense they are clearly whores and should be avoided at all costs

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I m! ay indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

A: Yes you can own a Canadian

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A: Yes

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

A: There are no degrees of abomination. Understand that you must take Lev. literally and punish them accordingly.

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

A: No as there where no exact way of measuring vision when Lev. was written you can safety approach the altar of god and feast upon his visage. If you're eyes are deformed however you are an abomination and should be cleansed.

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

A: A stoning will suffice.

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

A: if you wear gloves yes.

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

A: For such heinous crimes nothing less then a stoning will please the lord.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.




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OfflineMAGnum
veteran

Registered: 07/08/04
Posts: 2,421
Last seen: 5 years, 2 days
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #3166557 - 09/22/04 09:41 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

My old preacher used to clearly say that gay human beings aren't the abomination, the act of homosexuality is.

I personally could care less what other people do.


--------------------
Agent 727
7


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Offlineld50negative1
lethal dosage

Registered: 07/01/04
Posts: 821
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3166568 - 09/22/04 09:43 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Homosexuality IS an abomination.


--------------------


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InvisibleDiploidM
Cuban

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: ld50negative1]
    #3166587 - 09/22/04 09:46 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Homosexuality IS an abomination.

How did you come to this conclusion?  :confused:


--------------------
Republican Values:

1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you.
2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child.
3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer.

4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.


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OfflineShroomerious
OO
Male

Registered: 07/27/03
Posts: 534
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: ld50negative1]
    #3166622 - 09/22/04 09:53 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Relative to your signature. Do you have proof of his existence?


--------------------


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OfflineMAGnum
veteran

Registered: 07/08/04
Posts: 2,421
Last seen: 5 years, 2 days
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: Shroomerious]
    #3166638 - 09/22/04 09:57 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Proof of Jesus's exsistance or Gods?

I have seen God (not proof to you).

Jesus made such an impact that people still follow him 2000 years later.

An equal question is do you have proof of non-exsistance.


--------------------
Agent 727
7


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
jiggy
Female User Gallery

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 7,469
Loc: Heart of Laughter
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: KingOftheThing]
    #3166703 - 09/22/04 10:08 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

King,

That was very well put together!  :thumbup:

Me thinks you should send all of those questions to the POPE!

(i want to be the fly on the wall when he reads them) :rotfl:

Oh, and in answer to this question

Quote:

KingOftheThing said:
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?





God also commanded us not to kill. If I were you, I would get one of your God authorized slaves to do it. Then, he will be damned to hell for doing the Lords work instead of you.


--------------------
Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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OfflineMAGnum
veteran

Registered: 07/08/04
Posts: 2,421
Last seen: 5 years, 2 days
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: Diploid]
    #3166705 - 09/22/04 10:08 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Diploid said:
Homosexuality IS an abomination.

How did you come to this conclusion?  :confused:




To be honest, it just doesn't make sence.  That's my stance on it.


--------------------
Agent 727
7


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InvisibleKingOftheThing
the cool fool
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Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 27,389
Loc: USA
Re: God Thinks Gay People Are An Abomination [Re: MAGnum]
    #3166712 - 09/22/04 10:09 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

you christians are so simple and brainwashed...it really makes me chuckle  :smirk: id laugh a lot harder if these garbage dogma filled religions werent destroying the world....mark my words wwIII is going a war fought in the name of a few different religions :shocked: :laugh:


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