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OfflinePhishgrrl
Walking in thetall trees...
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Registered: 05/03/04
Posts: 5,079
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
I'm going through a lot of shit right now
    #3164979 - 09/22/04 03:32 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

And I just need some support I guess.  Some days are up, some are down and right now I'm feeling really down.  My marriage may be falling apart. If not falling apart, it is going in a really different direction....

It is really hard to deal with on a day to day basis.  I really want to do what is right for me, so I can be a good mom, and a good friend and just a good person in general.

Sooooooo basically I just need the strength to make the right decisions. So far, my friends have been an invaluable help, even some wonderful friends here on the Shroomery, but sometimes I have a really hard time reaching out and asking for the help I need, which- right now, is just support and strength to do what I feel is morally correct for me. 

I guess I am just asking you guys for your support. Gawd I sound so desperate!  :tongue:  :sad:  :frown:

This sucks but I do have faith that it will all be worth it.


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...



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OfflineBigNerd
Sociable loner
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Registered: 10/31/03
Posts: 4,228
Loc: local elementary school
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165016 - 09/22/04 03:40 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Asking for help is really tough for me, too.  Damned pride.  But I have complete faith that not only do you know the right thing to do, you'll have plenty of strength to act on that knowledge.  You are one of the most compassionate people I know, Phishy, and that's why you have SO MANY friends.  Lean on them, it will make them happy to help.  Do what needs to be done.  You can always count on the shroomery to love you.  :heart::heartpump::heart:

BigNerd


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Sometimes karma needs a little help.


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OfflineKremlin
life in E minor
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Registered: 06/07/01
Posts: 1,860
Loc: /export/home/Kremlin
Last seen: 3 months, 14 days
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165048 - 09/22/04 03:46 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Yes, friends should be there to hold you up when you are falling, make use of them.

I'll be sendin good vibes your way...do what you think is right.


--------------------
"Human suffering has been caused because all too many of us cannot grasp that words are only tools for our use, and that the mere presence of a word in the dictionary does not mean it necessarily refers to something definitive in the real world"
--Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"

"It is the mind which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours."
-George Gissing

"Without a firm idea of himself and the purpose of his life, man cannot live, and would sooner destroy himself than remain on earth, even if he was surrounded by bread."
--Fyodor Dostoevsky


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Offlinecosmicray
Emaho!

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 76
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165211 - 09/22/04 04:27 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Hi Phishgirl,

I don't really know you or other folks here yet, but I wanted to comment on what you said about being a good mom. Just from what I've seen in your posts, I bet you're a *great* mom. You seem to have the knack for mindful speech, like so many others on these forums. You post words that are positive and inspire joy and hope, and refrain from posting negative words that can cause division or discord.

Those are qualities of a great parent!


--------------------
"If not you, who? And if not now, when?"


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OfflinePhishgrrl
Walking in thetall trees...
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Registered: 05/03/04
Posts: 5,079
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: cosmicray]
    #3165263 - 09/22/04 04:40 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks so much, BigNerd. :heart:  You are so nice. I really appreciate it.  I'm being such a baby and it's embarrassing!  Oh well. *sigh*

Also, thank you Kremlin and Cosmicray. You guys are so sweet. I WILL get through this! It just feels good to get this off my chest. :heart:


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...



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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
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Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,029
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165315 - 09/22/04 04:56 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

  :sun: :heart: :sun: :heart: :sun: :heart: :sun: :heart: :present: :hug: :mrt: :animal:


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OfflineBigNerd
Sociable loner
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Registered: 10/31/03
Posts: 4,228
Loc: local elementary school
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165364 - 09/22/04 05:11 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Everybody has an off day, when it just feels like you can't take any more.  Don't feel embarrassed for being human.  Now get back in there and fight!  Or just talk it out. :shrug:

We really do like you around here.  Don't get down.  Be the happy positive PhishGrrl we all love (including your husband).  I'll see if I can't direct some encouraging energy your way. :sun::flowers::turtle::smile2:

BigNerd


--------------------
Sometimes karma needs a little help.


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OfflineNorthernsoul
Your Reality

Registered: 11/17/01
Posts: 2,290
Loc: Inner Eye
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165445 - 09/22/04 05:26 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Just knowing that suffering is just a part of being alive can help.

We can see things that happen right away and see them as being good or bad at an instant. Its harder to see the slower changes and what you are going through may be a part of a very slow change for the better.

But whatever what situation you are in, realise that nothing stays the same forever, nothing lasts forever, not even the sun. Dont fight change, just accept it, because if you dont, youll suffer even more.


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Invisiblegoobler
Reanimated
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165604 - 09/22/04 06:02 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

:hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart::hug: :hug:  :sun: :heart: :heart:


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OfflineLearyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
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Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 29,756
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 13 hours, 53 minutes
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165685 - 09/22/04 06:24 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

We love you Phishy. Everyone has hard times. I don't know you in real life, but from what I know of you I know you can do anything.

Shine on babe. It's just a matter of time until you feel good again.
  :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:







--------------------
--------------------------------


Mp3 of the month: The Loose Enz - The Black Door



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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165694 - 09/22/04 06:26 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Hello Phishgirl,

Your marriage is going to go thru many changes. You and your husband will grow into different people. That is a fact. You can only love each other.
It is endurance that makes a marriage special. It is total acceptance of the other person, no matter where they are at in life, that makes a good marriage.
I believe people should grow and mature. But, it should not cause dire problems and disrespect towards the other person. Giving each other room to be " All that you can be " is part of loving.
Knowing nothing of the real problems you are experiencing leaves me with no bread to feed any advice. I hope you understand where I am coming from. And goodluck.


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InvisibleLand_Crab
NeuroticPsychonaut
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Registered: 08/29/04
Posts: 2,194
Loc: U.S.
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165708 - 09/22/04 06:30 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Hi there,
I don't know what you situation is. Would you elaborate on it if it isn't too personal? How old are you? How long have you been married? How old are your kids? If you had to put into words the top problem or two with your marriage as you see it, what would it be? Are there differences between you and your husband that are showing themselves now more clearly? Are you reasonably content, otherwise (outside your marriage)?


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InvisibleIrishdrunk
Democracy? We Deliver!!!
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Registered: 09/12/03
Posts: 24,147
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165740 - 09/22/04 06:37 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I was blown away by your pic in OTD and had to come say hi. :loveeyes: Bad times come and go but you just have to fight through them....behind the dark clouds is sunshine so just hold in there phishgrrl.  :sun:


--------------------
Take care.


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Invisiblechinadoll
there
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Registered: 10/05/02
Posts: 1,118
Loc: dark side of terrapin
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165742 - 09/22/04 06:37 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Marriage goes through cycles.  You are many things to many people, you're a wife, mother, psychologist, lover....you get my drift.  I'm not one for many words so things will get better.  Sometimes it just seems so overwhelming, take it one day at a time.  Good luck! :heart: :flowers:


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OfflinePhishgrrl
Walking in thetall trees...
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Registered: 05/03/04
Posts: 5,079
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: chinadoll]
    #3165751 - 09/22/04 06:39 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks so much guys. I love you all and really really appreciate the support. I need it! Things WILL be ok. That is my new mantra.


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...



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OfflineUncleMike
Visionary
Male

Registered: 05/18/03
Posts: 964
Loc: S.W. Virginia
Last seen: 8 years, 13 days
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3165758 - 09/22/04 06:41 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Hey Girl,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. You are a person with a lot of good common sense. I can tell from the advice you give others. I am sure you will make the right decisions for you and your children(child).


--------------------
Live each day like it will be your last, tomorrow my never come.
SporeSmart


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3166394 - 09/22/04 09:07 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Aw, honey, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down.  You are a beacon of inspiration and strength to me, and I'm sure to many people here at the Shroomery.  We all love you.  :heart:  I'm glad that writing it out helped.  We're here for you. 

:heart: :heart:


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Invisiblefunkymonk
Get's down, withthe get-down.
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Registered: 11/29/02
Posts: 8,160
Loc: saskatchewan
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3168133 - 09/23/04 02:14 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Heey Phishy,

  I'm saddened to hear your having troubles...It's never easy to hear someone you care about is going through tough times..

  I don't have to much advice, but I'm sure you know how much you love your husband, and maybe you guys just need to spend sometime away from everything together.

  Why not save up for a week or two, reserve a hotel room, and treat him to a night of pay per view movies and room service? It might be something you guys haven't done before, or in awhile...and it's always fun.

Sometimes life just starts getting so fast, and we all get wrapped up in our own little troubles, and it's then that it gets hard to see the bigger picture. But hang in there, and Talk to each other.

  Much love is coming from my place in the world, and I hope your place feels it. Good luck phishy... :heart:


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Invisiblelukeboots
fresh futuristic
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Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3168260 - 09/23/04 02:40 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

aww phishgrrl!! i had no idea you were feeling down, but i'm glad i stumbled upon this!

you know you have plenty of people who, even just here in the shroomery, wish you absolutely nothing but the best! you're always so uplifting and kind towards others. when i read one of your posts, it's almost guaranteed to make me smile.

i know how it can be when nothing is going your way. it's times like those that you should do exactly what you did here - call on those who care about you. we're all here for you :heart:

no matter what happens to you, i know you're an awesome and kind person at heart and i don't think anything will take your strength away from you, as long as you trust yourself.

happy trails phishgrrl, and i hope everything starts going well for you again! maybe the AZ gathering will cheer you up, if you're still down by then (i sure hope you aren't!). i'm gonna try to make it there too, so it'll just be one more friendly face. :smile:


--------------------

funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey


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InvisibleLifenergy
Yo Mama

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 766
Re: I'm going through a lot of shit right now [Re: Phishgrrl]
    #3168544 - 09/23/04 03:48 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Cheer up. Trust me, wherever you're supposed to be, you'll be right there. Stay positive and have faith! With time comes overstanding. I'll be sending some positive energy in your direction. One love. Lifenergy :heartpump:


--------------------
Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.


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