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OfflineRonoS
DSYSB since '01
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/26/01
Posts: 16,233
Loc: Calgary, Alberta
Last seen: 14 days, 19 hours
Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once.
    #3159406 - 09/21/04 12:54 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

This past year has been the worst ever for me...I'll try to sum it up quickly.
1) I started the year by getting laid off from my job, just before I went to Thailand...meaning I would have no money when I got back..not really that big of a deal really...I ended up finding a new job
2) Ended up breaking a really good friends heart after she proposed to me and I said no.
3) Wound up dating a girl that cheated on me twice with two different dudes and is now pregnant, wanting to keep the baby despite the fact that she has no job, no education and no idea who the father is.
4)My mother has 3-6 months left to live.

Well that about sums it up...I'm far from losing it, but it seems like as soon as I manage to deal with one issue, a bigger one comes and makes the last one look miniscule. It's becoming increasingly harder to get out of bed knowing that each day has the potential to make my exisiting problems worse.

Anyways....that's my rant...any pearls of wisdom for someone who's becoming disenchanted with life rapidly?


--------------------
"Life has never been weird enough for my liking"


Edited by Rono (09/21/04 01:36 PM)


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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: Rono]
    #3159513 - 09/21/04 01:44 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)



Life is a very strange combination of what we want and what we get.

You did the right thing by turning down the marriage. You should always keep your internal needs up to par. Never marry into a situation that you know from the begining is wrong. If she really is your friend she will still be your friend.


Stay away from the slut


Our parents die



You will grow thru it all and become a far better person.


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OfflineBarbi
Plastic Person

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 12,976
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: Rono]
    #3159606 - 09/21/04 02:09 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

surround yourself with friends and love.


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OfflineRonoS
DSYSB since '01
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/26/01
Posts: 16,233
Loc: Calgary, Alberta
Last seen: 14 days, 19 hours
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3160100 - 09/21/04 03:55 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I think my biggest issue right now is the ex wanting to keep the baby...she is far from having her shit together, and the thought of her raising a kid on her own quite frankly makes me ill. If it's mine, I'l still cowboy up, and support the child anyway I can...even though she's moving to another city, and despite the fact I don't want a kid right now. if it's not mine, then there will be absolutely no father figure in it's life, unless I decide to take on the responsiblity for it...which I shouldn't, but the kid shouldn't suffer because it's mother has no grasp on reality....argh...this is killing me. I wish I could just walk away from the whole situation, but my conscience won't let me.


--------------------
"Life has never been weird enough for my liking"


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 1 day
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: Rono]
    #3160155 - 09/21/04 04:06 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

do wat the guy in ur avatar is doing.


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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OfflineRonoS
DSYSB since '01
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/26/01
Posts: 16,233
Loc: Calgary, Alberta
Last seen: 14 days, 19 hours
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: BleaK]
    #3160246 - 09/21/04 04:25 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Don't even tempt me dude...


--------------------
"Life has never been weird enough for my liking"


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 1 day
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: Rono]
    #3160293 - 09/21/04 04:34 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

too late


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: Rono]
    #3160996 - 09/21/04 06:52 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

DO NOT MAKE THE MISTAKE

of being a daddy to a kid you don't know is yours.

I did that. Bad choice.

If you want a kid that ain't yours go and get one from Iraq.

I understand where your coming from believe me I do. You must get blood tests done right away before she leaves town. If she leaves let her go.

There are alot of single mothers you can be with just because she has a kid. Do not justifie this becasue you feel bad.

You will feel alot worse if after the kid is a year or 2 old and then find out it ain't yours.


This happened to me. I was paying child support on a kid I was told was Mine. I beleived her. I wanted what was best for the kid mine or not. Well..........3 years later she informs me " THAT AIN'T YOUR KID" And left me. WHAT???


So we go to court like almost 2 years later and the judge demands blood work. We find out the kid ain't mine. So the judge orders her to give some names. She gives him 8 names!!!

The judge was pissed. He order me to continue to make payments. GRrrrrrrr. Fucker. But Sir I..... PAY PAY PAY

Anyway long story short. I still pay her 112 bucks every week for 19 years. Why??? The Judge determined I had been the only father the kid has known for 4 years and had been paying without argument. I will keep paying someone has to pay. That was his answer. Besides I had signed all the paperwork long before we ended up in court.


The point is.... DON'T DO SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU FEEL BAD.

Big mistake


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InvisibleLe_Canard
Danger Man

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 93,270
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: Rono]
    #3161287 - 09/21/04 08:03 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Be strong. This, too, will pass.
Sorry to hear about your mom, though. My condolences...


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
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Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: Rono]
    #3162903 - 09/22/04 01:07 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Kick to the stomach, dude. Jail's cheaper than child support.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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OfflineFrog
Warrior
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Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 4,284
Loc: The Zero Point Field
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: Lifes many trials and tribulations...at once. [Re: Rono]
    #3163155 - 09/22/04 02:09 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

If you were my client, here is how I would advise you:

(Keep in mind that I have to keep these advisements emotionless, even though I am at the same time drawing on my own experiences and beliefs.)

1. Get a paternity test to determine if the kid is yours at the first opportunity.

2.  If it?s yours, see if you can make an agreement with the mother as to child support without going to court.  This is always best.  The court can order an amount that it may deem you can afford to pay, even if it would be really difficult to pay, if the amount is a state guide-line amount.

3.  If the child is yours, then yes, you should take responsibility for it.  If she tries to move, go to court to stop her.

4.  If the child is not yours, then unless you have the means to take responsibility for her and the child, you should let this go.  Someone has told me that I come first, then my children.  If I can?t take care of myself, and if I can?t take care of my children, then I have no business taking on someone else to whom I am not related, even if there is great need there. 

Of course you and others may feel differently, and that is fine.  I think my bottom line is that if you are not in a position to be a father, and the child is not yours, then you shouldn?t be interfering with the possibility of another man?s ability to be a father to this child, somewhere in the future. 

I sound so cold and clinical and detached.  That?s my job.  :grin:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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