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Offlinerezzan1
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Registered: 08/18/04
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Advice?
    #3159298 - 09/21/04 11:42 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I usually stray from the pub, but I am in need of some opionions please. I think asking this here would be much better than talking to personal friends due to unbias opionions and all. So here it goes!

I have a friend that has been married for a few years to beutifull girl who he loves dearly and they have one child who they both love dearly.
My friend starting noticing changes in his wifes behavior lately, such as lack of (no)intamcy,and general love. No communcation. Shes been going out a lot more. They just are not getting along, she said to him that she loves him but that she is not in love with him if that makes sense to any of you. When ever he brings some of these things up she avoids talking about it. She seems very distant from him or at lest compared to before.
This is driving my friend crazy, that is all he has been thinking about lately. He is going over every possible detail of what or why these things are happening. She is not willing to talk or get help, and when ever he does not mention it or act like it is not bothering him she goes about like thier is no problem.
He trusts his wife but he told me he started going over things in his mind and said he has some reasons that she may be cheating on him. He does not want to be niave, nor come to any conclusion with out direct evidence. Hes kind of stuck on what to do, he know sa relationship is based on trust, and he does not want to violate his wifes trust. But he keeps thinking about certain instances and etc. in his mind.

Thats really it, it is tearing him up. What are some of your guys opionions on how to help my friend?


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Anonymous

Re: Advice? [Re: rezzan1]
    #3159312 - 09/21/04 11:48 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Thats a tough situation. The only resolution is to bring it all out into the open, without avoiding any subject. It is hard but all I can offer in my opinion and experience.


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Offlinerezzan1
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Re: Advice? [Re: Organic]
    #3159325 - 09/21/04 11:54 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I am glad you did not riducule my friend, it is a tough situation and I am sure he will appreciate your words


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OfflinePhishgrrl
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Re: Advice? [Re: rezzan1]
    #3159408 - 09/21/04 12:54 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I would advise that they get counseling. They need to confront their problems and get everything out in the open. I wish them both the best of luck! :heart:


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Offlineagr8fulchick
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Registered: 08/19/04
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Re: Advice? [Re: rezzan1]
    #3160036 - 09/21/04 03:41 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Tell them to go on Maurey! j/k :wink:

No really, that is a super hard spot to be in :frown: If she won't talk about it with him, is there a mutual friend of theirs who will sit in with both of them to make sure they talk fairly? This might be easier than going to a counselor, and it'd be cheaper. If he thinks that she's cheating on him, then he should just go out and say that to her. Drama is no fun, I wish them both the best of luck!


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OfflinegeokillsA
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Re: Advice? [Re: rezzan1]
    #3160366 - 09/21/04 04:43 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Communication is the most integral aspect of any relationship as far as I'm concerned.  Both parties need to be willing to express their honest opinions, failing that, the relationship may still last, but there won't be the type of intimacy it seems the man is looking for.. and if one person isn't happy, it will likely result in negative experience for both involved.

Encouraging open communication is the best advice I can give.  The man may also want to decide ahead of time whether or not he is willing to swallow his pride and give the relationship another shot if in fact the wife has been cheating.  Thus, if he decides yes, he can reassure his wife that he knows people make mistakes and that he is willing to forgive and move on, but only if communication remains and trust is reconciled.

Tight spot.. best wishes :heart:


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Offlinerezzan1
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Re: Advice? [Re: geokills]
    #3161447 - 09/21/04 08:32 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks everyone for the good advice! You know everything happens for a reason and evan trials like this hold a purpose. I think faith and charity will be the best bet for the husband.

He has to remember the lessons learned and stick to true princaples. Hey everything has worked out so far evan if it did not work out the way it was planed. Wish my friend and his wife luck during these times.

Thanks Rezzan


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