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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
is it worth it?
    #3159044 - 09/21/04 08:00 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Life; why?

sometimes i cant tell if my anger is justifyed.
maybe my mind exagerates problems, or lingers on them.

constantly, lately, ive been trying to think of something productive to do.
whats productive? walking a path toward meaning.. whats meaningfull? joy.

so which path leads me to joy?
or which path is joyfull to take?

none from what i can tell.

there are seemingly too many things in the way, and too many people (who are things as well) who dont want to remove those things.

from my perspective. consumerism is redundant, cancerous, and ultimatly painfull.
things do not bring joy.

as far as i can see, joy is a chemical creation.
a cooperative chemical orchestra.
i eat healthy i feel good; period(.)

the world/universe is often thought of/described by me and others, as a complicated thing.
really tho, i think it is the most simple.
for the most part, life is; without any of its own cognition.
it happens, life acts.
it doesnt think, or overcomplicate.

i am unendingly mystifyed by humans and their goings on.
so much waste and excess. mostly in the name of joy.
people think cars are fun.
people think electricity is fun.
dont they?
tell me im wrong if i am.

i have spent alot of time playing video games, driving cars, drinking caffine, watching tv. making money, spending money.
never have i been content.

so the buddhist tells me thats what i need to work on.
but should i really be content choking on exhaust?
i cant even go for a walk without slowly catching cancer.
its worse if i try and exersice outdoors.

being content is great. but, should women have been content when they couldnt vote?
should i be content now when im forced to finance wars?
should i be content when i have no space to make a life of my own?
all i have is the oportunity to make money, and then spend it promptly.

i dont think i should owe anyone anything.
just because at some point long ago a bunch of people killed a bunch of other people, banded together and forced sovereignty on the new people that came.
i didnt ask to come.
and if i was to kill all of the people around me, and stake my own claim, i would be put to death.

fuck you hypocrits.
myself included.

what joy can i derrive from raping the planet?
how can i be joyfull even without participating in it, and yet knowing its being raped anyway?

bleh, always feel unfinished. incomplete.


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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Offlinecosmicray
Emaho!

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 76
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: BleaK]
    #3159112 - 09/21/04 09:43 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I'd list depression as a chemical creation. And often, when depressed, I've felt very much as you describe. Your post describes a hopelessness that might be the result of a chemical creation. Just something to ponder.


--------------------
"If not you, who? And if not now, when?"


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: cosmicray]
    #3159121 - 09/21/04 09:54 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

now ive heard many times in many places, that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance.
i ask u, what causes the chemical imbalance?


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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Offlinecosmicray
Emaho!

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 76
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: BleaK]
    #3159134 - 09/21/04 10:05 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Genetics probably. Science doesn't know much about brain function yet, but they do know a little about neuro-transmitters and the chemicals that make them up.

Regardless, anti-depressants do seem to work for a lot of people. Also, how you think seems to be a big factor. And when you are depressed, you think depressed thoughts which then re-inforces the depression and round and round you go.


--------------------
"If not you, who? And if not now, when?"


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Offlinethelion
newbie
Registered: 09/05/04
Posts: 63
Last seen: 10 years, 9 days
Re: is it worth it? [Re: BleaK]
    #3159207 - 09/21/04 11:04 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Dont cry about it dude.

Just deal with overpopulation.


Edited by thelion (09/21/04 11:23 AM)


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Offlinescatmanrav
Brainy Smurf

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 11,483
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: is it worth it? [Re: thelion]
    #3159545 - 09/21/04 01:56 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I feel you man. I've been having the same sort of thoughts.


--------------------
"life is like a drop of rain getting closer and closer to falling into a lake, and then when you hit the lake there is no more rain drop, only the lake."

Growing with bags, start to finish (including my new grain and substrate prep)
Anyone looking to start bulk tubs/mono tubs/shotgun hybrids? Good tubs to use..
How I do grain (old still good tips)
Turn your closet into a fruiting chamber
Casing layer colonization and overlay


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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: is it worth it? [Re: BleaK]
    #3159649 - 09/21/04 02:21 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

These thoughts are a crime.

Don't pay them any of your energy

Don't be a slave to these



I am sure every person goes thru it. Every person must come to grips with peace and inner joy. You must do the same.


The only real answers are .....We make more humans.... We pay taxes....We die


That's it my friend. Anything after that is a choice you have made.

If you feel this way it is your fault. Stop it.

Stop it right now. Don't sit around a feel sorry for yourself. Please dude your not only hurting yourself. You hurt those around you.

You can't change the world. You can only change your world.

That is the secret in dealing with these thoughts.


When I was locked up I knew a man who was doing 23 years. Man... wow.... 23 YEARS. Fuck that!!

But this man was the most joy filled man I to this day have ever met. He was no Jesus follower. He followed no god that I could tell.


He did have one thing most do not.

An understanding

He understood that all... ALL feelings we have are a combinations are our own choices.


You are the sum of your experiences and your choices.

You have control of most of your experiences and 100% of your choices.


Living isn't easy
Death is a hard thing to accept

The only thing we have left is our choices.

It is your choice to feel this way. Have some control and take resposiblity for you.

Make the choice to be happy. You will not find it anywhere eles but in you.


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: thelion]
    #3160116 - 09/21/04 03:58 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

thelion said:
Dont cry about it dude.

Just deal with overpopulation.




good 1.


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: cosmicray]
    #3160118 - 09/21/04 03:58 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

cosmicray said:
Genetics probably. Science doesn't know much about brain function yet, but they do know a little about neuro-transmitters and the chemicals that make them up.

Regardless, anti-depressants do seem to work for a lot of people. Also, how you think seems to be a big factor. And when you are depressed, you think depressed thoughts which then re-inforces the depression and round and round you go.




horse shit


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3160147 - 09/21/04 04:04 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Fucknuckle said:
These thoughts are a crime.

Don't pay them any of your energy

Don't be a slave to these



I am sure every person goes thru it. Every person must come to grips with peace and inner joy. You must do the same.


The only real answers are .....We make more humans.... We pay taxes....We die


That's it my friend. Anything after that is a choice you have made.

If you feel this way it is your fault. Stop it.

Stop it right now. Don't sit around a feel sorry for yourself. Please dude your not only hurting yourself. You hurt those around you.

You can't change the world. You can only change your world.

That is the secret in dealing with these thoughts.


When I was locked up I knew a man who was doing 23 years. Man... wow.... 23 YEARS. Fuck that!!

But this man was the most joy filled man I to this day have ever met. He was no Jesus follower. He followed no god that I could tell.


He did have one thing most do not.

An understanding

He understood that all... ALL feelings we have are a combinations are our own choices.


You are the sum of your experiences and your choices.

You have control of most of your experiences and 100% of your choices.


Living isn't easy
Death is a hard thing to accept

The only thing we have left is our choices.

It is your choice to feel this way. Have some control and take resposiblity for you.

Make the choice to be happy. You will not find it anywhere eles but in you.




let me just rewrite some of this for you... since u obviously missed it.


"being content is great. but, should women have been content when they couldnt vote?
should i be content now when im forced to finance wars?
should i be content when i have no space to make a life of my own?"

Quote:

Fucknuckle said:
"The only real answers are .....We make more humans.... We pay taxes....We die"




if u think that is really all we can do, i pity u, and i mourn myself for not having the will to kill either of us.


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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OfflineAlan Stone
Corpus

Registered: 11/23/02
Posts: 986
Loc: Ten feet up
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: BleaK]
    #3160271 - 09/21/04 04:28 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I don't think you sound depressed. I think you've realised the post-modern existential hole. In my experience, there's no other solution than being blatantly self-absorbed for a few moments.

Enjoying nature is the biggest plus that life has to offer for me, other than creating or playing music with a group of people you can tune in to. Other than those two, there's no real joy for me either.

I doubt whether your 'condition' is chemical in nature. A lot of your arguments are rational. At least that's what I understand from your post.


--------------------
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

- Aristotle


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: Alan Stone]
    #3160372 - 09/21/04 04:45 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

sounds partially true, tho i wouldnt describe it as existential.

not very comforting either way

thx for the replys tho.


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: is it worth it? [Re: BleaK]
    #3160934 - 09/21/04 06:34 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Well I gave you my best answer. You just avoided it

If you want to be a misery ridden soul

Have fun in your life.


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #4238476 - 05/31/05 01:17 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

BUMP


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: BleaK]
    #4239860 - 05/31/05 02:15 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

i think your anger is justified.

Quote:


so which path leads me to joy?
or which path is joyfull to take?

none from what i can tell.




there's both pain and pleasure in the world. joy and sadness. sometimes both at the same time.

Quote:


the world/universe is often thought of/described by me and others, as a complicated thing.
really tho, i think it is the most simple.
for the most part, life is; without any of its own cognition.
it happens, life acts.
it doesnt think, or overcomplicate.




agreed. human life is unique in that sometimes it does have its own cognition.

Quote:


being content is great. but, should women have been content when they couldnt vote?
should i be content now when im forced to finance wars?
should i be content when i have no space to make a life of my own?
all i have is the oportunity to make money, and then spend it promptly.




you're saying that being content is bullshit if we're raping the planet. i don't think those women should have been content, they were right to try to change things. as it happens they succeeded (somewhat- is there more work to do?).

why aren't you trying to change things like they did? call me darth vader but maybe you should act on your anger. as long as you don't hurt anyone/yourself, i think it's okay.

you're not the only person who thinks this way. there's lots of people who view the environment as the next civil rights.


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


Edited by crunchytoast (05/31/05 02:24 PM)


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InvisibleSociety
Pizza Guy

Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 13,962
Loc: Eating pizza
Re: is it worth it? [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4240708 - 05/31/05 05:51 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I think I know exactly how you feel; I used to feel just like that and to an extent still do. Have I found joy in my life? Hell, not really. The best way I think to find SOME pleasure in life is to not worry about anything, just go with your feeling. Remove all barriers to your thought processes and descision making and "go nuts". I mean, what is there to live for? ... Nothing.


--------------------
Delicious Pizza


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OfflineFrankieN
Stranger

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 99
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: BleaK]
    #4241328 - 05/31/05 08:21 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Where is the anger coming from, all the problems in the world, pollution, capitalism, political equality? Sure there is a lot of really messed up stuff going on in this world, but why be angry, you can not believe that you could go out and attack these problems through anger and succeed, or even do any good at all, it would just cause more problems, more anger. And joy is no better, it's just an emotion, no real good comes just from joy. I think living your life as an example, with right speech, right actions, and right mindset, to all those around you is the only thing you can do. Your anger is your problem, don't spread problems. In the end, time will solve everything, everything dies.


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: FrankieN]
    #4241426 - 05/31/05 08:47 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

anger is not a problem the cause of the anger is the problem


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


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Offlinecrunchytoast
oppositional

Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 1,133
Loc: aporia
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4241466 - 05/31/05 09:01 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

still, i don't see how one person could solve all the problems of the world.


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


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OfflineBleaK
paradox
Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 1,583
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: is it worth it? [Re: FrankieN]
    #4242090 - 05/31/05 11:52 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

FrankieN said:
Where is the anger coming from, all the problems in the world, pollution, capitalism, political equality? Sure there is a lot of really messed up stuff going on in this world, but why be angry, you can not believe that you could go out and attack these problems through anger and succeed, or even do any good at all, it would just cause more problems, more anger.


i have attacked nothing. i am communicating.
Quote:

And joy is no better, it's just an emotion, no real good comes just from joy. I think living your life as an example, with right speech,


hey look im doin it now
Quote:

right actions,


working on it
Quote:

and right mindset, to all those around you is the only thing you can do. Your anger is your problem, don't spread problems. In the end, time will solve everything, everything dies.


anger is an expression. like passion, it aids in communication. people identify with feelings that are being expressed.


--------------------
"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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