Home | Community | Message Board


Vaposhop
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]
OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
i need help again.
    #3153310 - 09/19/04 06:15 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

someone explain this email i got from my now ex...

I don't think I'm being stupid and I don't think it's crap. This isn't a mistake. I'm not just talking about it not working out years and years from now. I'm talking about monthes from now and even now. This was not a spur of the moment decision induced by pms. I have been thinking about a lot of this since before we broke up last time. I didn't really talk about everything last night because I don't know how to say everything that I feel that makes me want this. I still don't but I'll see what I can do anyway. There are a lot of things about me that you don't understand and that I don't think you can or ever will understand. I do love you. I love you as much as I can love you but I can't be that wrapped up in you. I just can't do it. There are so many things that are so much more important to me than any one person and any one relationship and I can't be happy unless I feel like I'm working my hardest for them. It's not just being a doctor. It's that I need to be helping. I can't feel worthy of anything unless I feel like I'm doing something significant to help the world. So this is my way of doing it. And I'll have to work really hard to be able to do that and that will be my life. I don't know if you really get how important this is to me. But that's not all. I mean, I just feel like "us" is dead. Like, before you were so so so important to me. You were everything and all that mattered and it wasn't good for me, not that you weren't- you were so good for me and you helped me so much, but that my obsession and my needing you wasn't good. and then I was alone for a while but I was still completely obsessed and as soon as I got where I could function and be happy and be good enough on my own I was hanging out with you again and I kind of fell back to needing you. So I did something really stupid and I ended up dating you again. and it's really bad. like, if we stay together this whole relationship is going to be me trying to love you and give you what you need as well as trying to get through my hectic life and accomplish all these things I want to do and at the same time working to try and keep you at an arms length and trying to keep me from ending up right back at point A where I'm screwed up and depressed and needing you. because i can't need you. and you're too pushy for me to do all that and succeed in not completely getting lost. i can't do it. i just can't. i said right at the beginning that i was afraid of that and you said it would be ok and i convinced myself that it would be ok and it won't be ok and it's not ok because do not have the emotional capacity to handle it all and still do what's most important to me and still be me. this is not a good time for me to be in any sort of relationship really. i don't think i can handle more than just the casual fling sort of boyfriend right now and that would most definately be a good five steps back for us. so what would be the point of that? we'd be dating just for the sake of dating and it would have nothing to do with what either of us wanted or needed it would just be bullshit. all this would be reason enough to end this but there is so so so so so much more that i don't even know how to try to explain. i do love you. but like i said, love isn't enough sometimes. i am seventeen. i am not thirty five. what i would need to do to me to be able to make this really work and be worth anything would only be worth it if i was an adult who had my school and career figured out and was serious enough about you to marry you. maybe it looks a million times simpler and easier from where you are. maybe you think i'm crazy and stupid and all this is just bullshit. maybe it looks like it would be easy for me to do this. but for me it's not. for me keeping this going would be twenty times more painful and harder than stopping it and for me what i'd have to risk sacrificing isn't worth it. i'm not throwing away a good thing. i'm ending something that's over and has been over for a while and i'm trying to protect myself from going crazy. does any of this make any sense? and there's so much more too. i just don't know how i can make you understand what's in my head right now and why i can't. but i can't. ok? please don't hate me and please please please most of all just give me some space. it was a big mistake for me to start this up again. i should have known better. i did know better i just talked myself out of it. i'm sorry. ok. hate me if you want. that's ok. but anyway. i have to go.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBarbi
Plastic Person

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 12,976
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3153314 - 09/19/04 06:21 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I can tell you from experience that you should move on.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: i need help again. [Re: Barbi]
    #3153317 - 09/19/04 06:23 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

i can't


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBarbi
Plastic Person

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 12,976
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3153336 - 09/19/04 06:40 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

You can. Dont be a pussy and get up and leave. No one can heal you but yourself and no one can make your decisions for you.

You are better off walking away, healing, and finding someone else.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: i need help again. [Re: Barbi]
    #3153337 - 09/19/04 06:41 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

but i want her. i love her. i dont know how to stop. i don't want to stop.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineBarbi
Plastic Person

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 12,976
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3153665 - 09/19/04 09:44 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah, I love my wife too but sometimes it just isnt meant to be. it takes *2* to make a relationship work. Cut your losses now before you make it any worse.

Or, keep chasing her, but be prepared for it only to get uglier.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineSkikid16
fungus fan

Registered: 06/27/02
Posts: 5,666
Loc: In the middle of the nort...
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3154054 - 09/19/04 11:04 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

someone explain this email i got from my now ex...


I could try to explain it to you, but I'll just let her words sum it up:

" i'm not throwing away a good thing. i'm ending something that's over and has been over for a while "

That's it dude, its over, she doesn't want it anymore, even if you do, she doesn't.

As mndfreeze said, move on, the sooner you do, the better.

As for how, well if it was me, it'd involve lotsa booze, and lotsa random chicks....but your mileage may vary.


--------------------
Re-Defeat Bush in '04


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleAdden
David Reishi Fan Club
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 34,083
Loc: Amongst the Dunes
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3154876 - 09/20/04 02:45 AM (12 years, 2 months ago)

It's tough, but if she doesn't feel it, it was never meant to be.

You'll end up stronger and prolly with a hotter girl. g'luck, its a shitty position to be in, but you gotta get over it man.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleHarveyWalbanger
Demiurge
Male

Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 3,070
Loc: 8b
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3155838 - 09/20/04 03:20 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

NEVER go back. Dont talk to her. Dont leave away msgs about her. Dont think about her. Sever every single line of communication with her.

She will come back in a few years. Dont care then either. You -have- to believe me. Maybe you can talk to her at that point, but if you start caring again (like I know you will...I started caring too when she came back) I want you to slap yourself... HARD. You are to be a zen buddhist monk. Calm, cool, collected. Like a stone. Not wanting or needing anyone.

please listen to what I wrote... you'll be a better person for it


Edited by HarveyWalbanger (09/20/04 03:48 PM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3155994 - 09/20/04 03:48 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Tasty_Smurf_House said:
but i want her. i love her. i dont know how to stop. i don't want to stop.




You have made the choice to suffer

You can make the choice to feel better

You can find a better person for you

You can

You can

Say It ........... I CAN  :thumbup: :grin:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineKremlin
life in E minor
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/07/01
Posts: 1,860
Loc: /export/home/Kremlin
Last seen: 3 months, 13 days
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3156106 - 09/20/04 04:11 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

a big fat :thumbup: to what mnd and others said....move on.  You are in control of how much other people can get to you and hurt you, and if you let it hurt it will, for a long time.  Or, you could take a more mature look at the entire situation, get over the puppy love and realize that it was all wrong.  Once you do that, new doors will open all around you.

She is not the only girl, she probably wasnt all that and a bag of potato chips.....but most importantly, she wasnt for you!

Keep your head up and move on bro, you can do better.

--Krem


--------------------
"Human suffering has been caused because all too many of us cannot grasp that words are only tools for our use, and that the mere presence of a word in the dictionary does not mean it necessarily refers to something definitive in the real world"
--Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"

"It is the mind which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours."
-George Gissing

"Without a firm idea of himself and the purpose of his life, man cannot live, and would sooner destroy himself than remain on earth, even if he was surrounded by bread."
--Fyodor Dostoevsky


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: i need help again. [Re: Skikid16]
    #3156589 - 09/20/04 05:46 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

How can she say it's been over for a while but then the next thing she says is she still loves me? i dont understand that. :frown:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineSkikid16
fungus fan

Registered: 06/27/02
Posts: 5,666
Loc: In the middle of the nort...
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3156605 - 09/20/04 05:48 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

You can still love someone, but not want to be with them.

She doesn't want a relationship with you, plain and simple.

And you also have to realize, some of the things she's saying are to soften the blow (real considerate, right?)

I know its tough, but she's over it man, and the sooner you get over it, the better it will be for you.


--------------------
Re-Defeat Bush in '04


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: i need help again. [Re: Skikid16]
    #3156608 - 09/20/04 05:49 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

and as far as the random chicks, i dont think so, that would make me feel worse. as for the booze, i have two days off and a lot of money. im drinking till i forget i work at fucking superstore and till i forget i dont have a gf. wheeeeee


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3156616 - 09/20/04 05:50 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

My friend just broke up with her boyfriend and she told him the same thing, that she still loved him but that they could no longer be together.  How she explained it to me is that the relationship started feeling decayed and stagnant to her, in addition to the fact that the guy was really being a confused ass.  She told me that she still truly loves him, but that "she can't put herself through the misery of their relationship any longer." 

Of course, you're situation is probably different, but there is a perspective from a woman. 

Just let go.  You can do it.  :heart:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: i need help again. [Re: Skikid16]
    #3156645 - 09/20/04 05:56 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

softening blows = ghey.
i'd rather a chick say she won't call me then maybe and then not.
or have them tell me to fuck off instead of saying i still love you. fuck.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineSkikid16
fungus fan

Registered: 06/27/02
Posts: 5,666
Loc: In the middle of the nort...
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3156690 - 09/20/04 06:10 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

I hear you, I agree, its selfish, and usually its so THEY don't feel so bad.

I mean, she probably still does love you, but she just doesn't want to be with you, she doesn't want it anymore, and there is NOTHING you can do to change that.

You can keep wondering what went wrong, or why she's saying these things, or you could just get over it.

Drinking is key, I hate to sound like a substance abuser, but fuck it.........

Good luck man, I hear what you're going through, I know its tough, but having gone through it myself (as both the dumpee and the dumper) I know it will get better, it will be ok, and soon, you'll be able to bang the random chicks you deserve to bang.

:thumbup:


--------------------
Re-Defeat Bush in '04


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: i need help again. [Re: Skikid16]
    #3156747 - 09/20/04 06:25 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

yeah. thanks. the shitty part is she broke up with me 2 minutes before i had to do an 8 hour shift at work. everything got repressed, it didnt quite hit me. and now im starting to realise it's over. forever, and there isn't a fucking thing i can do about it.  :crying:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisiblebaztack8
newbie
Registered: 08/12/01
Posts: 81
Re: i need help again. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #3158109 - 09/20/04 11:49 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Just fuck her best friend, and screw them both over.. heh.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleHarveyWalbanger
Demiurge
Male

Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 3,070
Loc: 8b
Re: i need help again. [Re: baztack8]
    #3159873 - 09/21/04 03:04 PM (12 years, 2 months ago)

Thats your answer to everything :frown:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Hardest decision I've ever had to face. Anonymous 1,158 14 10/02/08 11:14 AM
by Anonymous
* The female duality: Commitment or Alone!? Divided_Sky 1,194 11 10/26/06 07:14 PM
by Divided_Sky
* committed ?s Locus 1,359 13 02/20/06 05:18 AM
by Burning_Skies
* THE HARDEST THING TO DO Coaster 694 11 04/30/09 03:59 PM
by Coughing_Anon
* committed thedudenj 717 13 11/21/08 09:13 PM
by darkproggy
* To those who ever wished to commit suicide.
( 1 2 3 all )
Fliquid 59,487 51 04/08/12 09:44 PM
by jimboob
* if i told the therapist i was going to commit suicide by cop
machination
10,712 12 12/16/07 03:22 PM
by Dobie
* Scared of commitment? Or raging hormones? browndustin 681 7 01/26/06 07:58 PM
by Jaimie

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, boO, Ped, Acidic_Sloth, ZippoZ, Rose, yogabunny, Jokeshopbeard
1,487 topic views. 0 members, 18 guests and 0 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
Shroom Supply
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2016 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.06 seconds spending 0.004 seconds on 17 queries.