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Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 1,562
Loc: Ontario, CAN
Last seen: 1 year, 21 days
What the hell... I can't figure this out
    #3151932 - 09/18/04 09:20 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Hmm, I kind of feel like I'm whining, but shit, this is bugging me.

Last night I went out to a club (only like my 3rd time) with my brother and his friends. Everything was allright. I had finished about 1/2 a 26er before hand, to get in the mood of clubbing. We get there, and I'm not even drunk. Barely buzzed. Everything just starts going downhill. There's all these fucking beautiful women dancing, I can't take my eyes off of them. Yet every minute that goes by I feel more and more like shit. I want to get up and dance with them, but I can't. Everyone is nudging me towards all these girls, but I could not for the life of me enjoy anything that night. The whole night I wasn't very social. I barely talked (which isn't unusual with me... I'm quiet by nature) I eventually got up and start dancing a bit.. but I just felt like "what the fuck... Im not enjoying this" I sit down and just wait the night out. I hate the fact that I need alcohol to be able to do things, like dance with extremely hot women. I'm beginning to hate alcohol altogether, not the type of drug I like.

I have like no confidence in myself whatsoever. I think that's what it comes down too. Was the reason I really didn't dance because I felt the pressure of not knowing how to dance good (unless I'm of course drunk, then I'm the fucking king of the club). I seriously felt like the only way I could enjoy a bar/club setting is under the influence of some drug. Maybe it isn't my scene altogether... (I think of all the guys in the club, my hair was the longest. None of that gell shit for me :P)

And also I'm anti-social kind of..?. I just get the most awkward feelings at parties and bars and stuff. Like I don't belong here, I stand out.

I just wanted to go home and listen to Nebraska (great album)
and smoke a bowl.

Fuck.. same goes for singing while playing the guitar. No one is around and still I struggle to let it all out.

Heh, this one mushroom trip which went very bad, but towards the end became extremely good. I honestly think that was the most happiest moment in my life, the comedown from that one trip. I wish I could live in that happiness forever. I know I have it in me, but I just always let myself down.

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Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: What the hell... I can't figure this out [Re: adamj]
    #3152008 - 09/18/04 09:41 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

The path you have chosen is going to be very hard
It is better to stick you head out and get it chopped off
Then to leave it inside to rot away.
A midlife crash is awaiting you if you keep this up.

I was never the type to get on the dance floor. But one night I decided fuck it. I discovered that a man who gets out on the dance floor and focuses on the woman at hand, always gets laid.
Women love a dancing man. They assume your good in the sack. Well in this case I was. LOL

You must start making it a practice to takes risks.

Winners are always risk takers.
People who cower in the corner, stay in the corner.

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Third prize is you're fired
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Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 4,254
Loc: Where Art Meets Crime
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: What the hell... I can't figure this out [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3152281 - 09/18/04 11:11 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

sounds like you were setting yourself up to fail...

i hate, and I mean HATE, dance clubs....the loud house music, the meatheads-- altho the women are generally hot as hell.
im not a good dancer not am i a "physically" social butterfly... i cant just walk up to a woman in a loud club and start dancing with her....so i avoid those types of bars to avoid self depreciating evenings like the one you experienced.
with that said, alcohol can definitely bring out my conversationally charming self, so i can easily meet/ talk to women in your garden-variety bar or lounge situation...so i go to those types of social settings and am generally successfull at meeting women who hate dancing and clubbing as much as i do.

altho, last night i was dancing the Polka with a couple fine girls at an oktoberfest celebration, that was easy tho, as no one knows how to fucking polka so you can all laugh at eachother to break the ice...

If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

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Registered: 09/16/04
Posts: 16
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: What the hell... I can't figure this out [Re: adamj]
    #3153047 - 09/19/04 03:35 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

The problem is fear.You're afraid to get up on the dance floor and afraid to approach these women in this way.What you need to do is figure out why then face your fears.In all likely hood you seem to fear "looking foolish" and rejection in my humble opinion.

There really isnt anything to fear.Just get out there and do your thing and be as confident as you can in what you do.If you get rejected,oh well.You wont always be rejected by everyone but you will always be rejected by someone sometime.Everyone gets rejected its unavoidable.

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Anonymous #1

Re: What the hell... I can't figure this out [Re: adamj]
    #3153612 - 09/19/04 09:30 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I'm a clubber. I go to a club at least once a month because I love dancing, I love house music, and I love the scene. Four years ago I went to my first club, and my experience was exactly as you described. After my alcohol buzz wore off I felt really awkward and too emabarassed to dance. But that didn't stop me. I had a personal conviction to get over my fear of dancing. How did I get over this fear? More alcohol! Sad but true. I used alcohol to loosen up and get used to dancing. Every time I went out it got easier and easier. Then one night, I went out completely sober and danced for 3 hours straight. My dancing has also gotten a lot better through practice and watching other people and adapting their styles. I used to be so bad at dancing that people would actually make fun of me sometimes. Now I love dancing and I would say I'm pretty good. I no longer need booze to give me confidence, and girls actually approach me to dance.

I don't mean to write so much about myself, but I was making a point. You just need practice and confidence. When you keep doing something over and over you become used to it and you no longer fear it. Keep trying to sing and it'll be easier. Keep going to parties and socializing and it'll get easier. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Desensitization is the most effective way to get over a fear.

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Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
Re: What the hell... I can't figure this out [Re: adamj]
    #3153663 - 09/19/04 09:44 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Everyone here keeps telling you to go for it -- but maybe you don't actually want to be doing what you're having problems doing? Just a thought.

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