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Golf, By God! Moses, Jesus and another guy were out playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green. The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into on-coming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there it bounced onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolled down into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, it hit a little stone and bounced out over the water and onto a lily pad where it rested quietly. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the hole for a beautiful hole in one. Moses then turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."
JC is on the cross, and he calls out Peter's name. "Peter, Peter, come nearer, I have something to say to you".Peter tries to get near, but the Roman guards prod him with their spears. He tries again, and again the Romans beat him heavy.Finally he manages to push his way through to get to the feet of Christ, although he is heavy injured and covered with blood and cuts. "Yes my Lord, what do you wish to say to me?"."I can see your house from up here" replies JC.
jesus is pinned up on the cross with all his disciples around him he's getting pretty close to death, and looking a bit worse for wear he raises his head and all his disciples look up in are expecting one final lesson. Jesus opens his mouth and says don't eat my easter eggs you b4stards, I'll be back on sunday.