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OfflineViaggio
ChemicalConsumer

Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Marriage...?
    #3116529 - 09/10/04 01:03 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

This question has probably been brought up before, so I apologize. Why do people get married? The only reason I see is that it's an old tradition that provides a sense of security, but with divorce rates being as high as they are...why do people still do it?


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"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3116533 - 09/10/04 01:04 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

So their kids won't be bastards(technically speaking).


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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OfflineViaggio
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: silversoul7]
    #3116584 - 09/10/04 01:12 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Oh, and to get auto insurance discounts, better loan terms, and other stuff like that too...right?  :smirk:


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"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3116589 - 09/10/04 01:13 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

From a legal perspective, it's a protection to get married. There are certain rights afforded to each individual in the marriage. Also, if there's a divorce, it's easier to figure out how to divide the property, kids, etc.

I heard someone on the radio discussing why marriage was important. If you are just living together, it's easier, when problems arise, to walk away because there's no legal commitment. The entanglement of marriage and consequent divorce don't exist.

If you are married, you are more likely to try to work problems out, because divorce is such a hassle, etc.

I like being married because even though people can get separated whether married or not, there's more of a commitment there. When getting married, one is saying, "I promise to stay with you forever and work things out and I won't stop seeing you in order to see someone else."


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineViaggio
ChemicalConsumer

Registered: 07/05/03
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Frog]
    #3116635 - 09/10/04 01:21 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Frog said:
If you are married, you are more likely to try to work problems out, because divorce is such a hassle, etc.




So it's like these two people accept that there will be problems and decide to sign a commitment which will act as a force of obligation to work through problems?

Wow...doesn't seem so romantic anymore.


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"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3116675 - 09/10/04 01:28 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Marriage isn't the romance it started out to be, when two people are first dating. Some people will think that because they don't feel that passion that existed when they first met, after years of marriage, that maybe they aren't in love any more, so they seek a divorce.

Yes, there will be problems during a marriage. That's why it's important to marry someone with a background as similar to yours as possible. The less divergences, the less likelihood of divorce.

The closer the similarities, the more likely the problems will be resolved.

Marriage is a contract, almost. Here in CA, it used to be that you needed a reason to break the marriage. Now, you can terminate the marriage for any reason, or no reason. "no fault"


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Frog]
    #3116685 - 09/10/04 01:30 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I think that when oral sex ends, the marriage is essentially over.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineViaggio
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Frog]
    #3116686 - 09/10/04 01:30 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

So...why bother?


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"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3116778 - 09/10/04 01:50 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

From what I understand, and not because I thought this up on my own, people who are married are more committed to working it out than those who merely live together.

But when I was married, for 10 years, even though that initial "hot" romance eventually faded somewhat away, even if only to raise up from time to time, which it does, there is a deeper underlying love that is there that binds you together, even during the daily mundane activities.

In my opinion, true love, a real love, lasts beyond the romance staqe. Being married means you are promising to stick with each other when you're sitting in the jakoozi naked drinking champagne, but also when the baby is up all night, vomiting all over both of you.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3116923 - 09/10/04 02:27 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Something else I thought about...

Being married is just plain fun. It's like having a best friend/sex partner all in one. It's a promise. "No matter what, we will be together forever." You can relax into that.

My thoughts on marriage are just mine. I realize that there are other thoughts on the subject. I just liked being married. I had a good marriage until it fell apart.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Registered: 06/30/03
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3117065 - 09/10/04 03:05 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

its an act of respect for eachother's feelings. Its an act of true love.

true love means always being there for eachother. through the highs and the lows. TRue love is reliable and dependable, like a slab of granite. True love is her head on your shoulder meaning more to you than a million dollars in your pocket.


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peace, pot, and microdot!


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Swami]
    #3117496 - 09/10/04 05:12 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Swami said:
I think that when oral sex ends, the marriage is essentially over.




:yesnod:


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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3117652 - 09/10/04 08:16 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

marriage can be symbolic for the two that agree to it, but it is mostly to show the families that you are serious, and are not just fucking around (literally).


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Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3117731 - 09/10/04 10:01 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Over 60% of marriages end up in divorce and 90% of them think they will beat the odds.

I think, therefore I'm single. Unless someone pulls an Anna-Nicole-Smith on me when I'm too old to give a damn.



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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineSource
Remainder of anUnbalancedEquation
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Registered: 07/28/03
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3117855 - 09/10/04 11:24 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Marriage is an opportunity for two people to dive DEEP into eachother to find the pure light that shines within the other. The pure light is non-other than God. So the ultimate purpose of marriage is for light to experience light...love to find love...God to find God.

The tough part is opening up your ego to the other and seeing past the ego of your spouce to find that spark within him/her. Since the same spark exists in everyone, and the goal is to merge those sparks it really makes no difference who you are married to...it's just a tougher time with some more than others.

The trick is to completely accept the ego of the other. Once you can accept the outer shell, it's easier to see the light within.

People in our age have forgotten that this is what marriage is really about. They have forgotten to seek God behind the mask in the other.


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What you're searching for is what's searching.


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Swami]
    #3118766 - 09/10/04 03:40 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Swami said:
I think that when oral sex ends, the marriage is essentially over.



I thought that was when marriage began. :confused:


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3118903 - 09/10/04 04:19 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

What SS7 said means a lot for many. I knew I wanted to have at least one child with my hubby and I didn't want to have a child growing up in an ingnorant world that reffers to people as being basterds or coming from an unnormal family. Wanting to protect any children I wanted to have from such ignorance was a big factor. If two people in todays world are both dedicated to raising a family then it seems the best thing to do for them. Why should a child have to explain why their mom or dad has a different last name and be made to feel wierd, strange or different if they don't have to??????????

Another is what Doc touched on, getting respect for your union. Situations arise where non married couples are not afforded the same considerations, allowances or respect. Who wants to deal with that ignorance either?

A piece of papper doesn't make a marriage and we knew that before obtaining one. In our minds, it was just a false front to apiese the ignorant and make life easier.

Those are my main reasons for why. We lived in dedication to sharing our lives before the piece of papper.

True, being married makes it a little more difficult to say fuck you and walk when you get mad and can afford a stable structure for working through crap to get back to the good instead of chucking it in haste.

People who use it as an excuse to be a crappy undedicated life partner will end up in divorce anyway.

Just some considerations.


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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OfflineScarfmeister
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Frog]
    #3118920 - 09/10/04 04:24 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Frog said:
Something else I thought about...

Being married is just plain fun. It's like having a best friend/sex partner all in one. It's a promise. "No matter what, we will be together forever." You can relax into that.

My thoughts on marriage are just mine. I realize that there are other thoughts on the subject. I just liked being married. I had a good marriage until it fell apart.




Thats it I'm getting married!


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We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth!


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Frog]
    #3119378 - 09/10/04 06:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I had a good marriage until it fell apart.

You needed some "Swami's Mare Rage Glooze-All."

This is NOT directed at you, but I always find it funny when people say "it failed" as if it was a third entity not related to the parties involved. Seems like a responsibility cop-out.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleZero7a1
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Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
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Re: Marriage...? [Re: Viaggio]
    #3119393 - 09/10/04 06:27 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

why invest in the "love stock market?"


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