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InvisibleMOTH
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Posts: 23,381
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Never growing up?
    #3058338 - 08/27/04 03:31 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I wish I could act and behave like "normal" adults.  Technically, because I'm 21, I'm an adult but I don't feel like one. 

It's hard for me to act like one too.  I feel childlike one moment, and then old as a sage the next. 

Everyone I know considers me childish.  I know I'm absentminded.  It's not that I don't want to learn how to behave like an adult and do adult things, but it's as though it's ten times harder for me the other people my age. 

I think I'm feeling sort of iffy right now because I feel like everyone is telling me how I should "be" right now at this stage in my life.  And it's really hard for me to "be" that way.  I feel like I'm abnormal sometimes because of this...and because I'm not too sure I want to "be" that way that everyone says is "the" way.  I feel like I'm just pretending to be 21 years old.  :frown:


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Invisibledownforpot
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Registered: 06/25/01
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3058429 - 08/27/04 03:53 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'm 18 but I still feel like a kid. Everyone in my family expects me to be an adult but I still feel like a 16 year old kid. I guess all we can do is keep being a kid, work, advance in life, make money, fuck hoes, have kids, and still be kids on the inside.


--------------------



http://www.myspace.com/4th25


"And I don't care if he was handcuffed
Then shot in his head
All I know is dead bodies
Can't fuck with me again"


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Offlinedaba
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3058467 - 08/27/04 04:05 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Some people never grow up -- I've had first hand experience with such people. Acceptance is the first step, and it will make you feel more comfortable with yourself. Perhaps after you accept, then your psyche will evolve into something considered "mature."

Just ride it out, time will show you the way.


--------------------
Fold for The Shroomery!


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OfflineGus
Back in town.

Registered: 07/16/03
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Loc: Quebec, Canada
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3058811 - 08/27/04 05:38 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

obviously, you're not normal. Please try acting like everybody else from now on. :smirk:
Fuck that, be yourself.
Childish adults have the best of both worlds.


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Offlinebrowndustin
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Registered: 10/03/03
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: Gus]
    #3058836 - 08/27/04 05:44 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Why do you want to conform to what everyone else expects from you? Are you happy with your life? Do you think that you owe it to people to be more 'adult'?
If there's something in your life that's bothering you, or stopping you from being successful and happy then take care of it. If it's not a big deal to you, then don't worry. :smile:


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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Invisiblemyndreach
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3059090 - 08/27/04 07:05 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

The only way you should be now is the way you are my friend.

I am 27, and still feel very child-like. I always felt like you did sometimes, like...."should I still feel this way?". 14 months ago my son was born and I now realize that being child-like is the purest form of humanity.

I am absent minded, but I find that okay. I am down to earth when it counts, and take care of my responsibilities. I just remind myself of Thales, one of the first western philosophers. Plato wrote that Thales fell into a well "when he was looking up to study the stars...being so eager to know what was happening in the sky that he could not see what lay at his feet."

My wife and I make such a great team because I am (ironically) the more emotional one, and seem to be more of the emotional, spiritual, "right-brained" provider; while she is more of the logical, orderly, "left-brained" provider. It's usually the opposite, but not with us. I work and make the money, and she is a domestic engineer you could say haha. She takes care of the bills and all that, and makes sure we do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.

:smile: Sort of rambling, but I think you get my point.


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OfflineBarbi
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3059635 - 08/27/04 09:39 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I was one of those 'grown up kids' until I had a kid.

Bringing a child, or children, into this world changes your viewpoints almost immediately, even if you dont want to believe it. 

Now, I'm a grown up where I try to run off every grat once in a while, when I have time away from my normal grown up things, to act like a kid....

:wink:


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OfflineWorf
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Registered: 07/04/04
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3060391 - 08/28/04 01:06 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You're not abnormal. You are actually perfectly normal to be feeling this way.

Sometimes growing up can be a little overwhelming and just because you aren't taking on the role other people want you to doesn't make you abnormal.


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3061070 - 08/28/04 05:53 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'm going to be 20 in April and I know now one who can be more silly and child-like then I. I can also be quite mature. I don't think it's a bad thing.


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Invisiblegoobler
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: Barbi]
    #3061173 - 08/28/04 07:37 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

mndfreeze said:
I was one of those 'grown up kids' until I had a kid.

Bringing a child, or children, into this world changes your viewpoints almost immediately, even if you dont want to believe it. 

Now, I'm a grown up where I try to run off every grat once in a while, when I have time away from my normal grown up things, to act like a kid....

:wink:




agreed

nothing wrong with not trying conforming to the "adult" perception..Although depends on what game you wanna play


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3061212 - 08/28/04 08:24 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

when i was a child, i couldnt wait till i was a "grown-up" for some reason i thought it would be the coolest thing....now that i am one, i wish i was a child again...funny how that works. though i am not a child anymore, i find it very easy for me (at the moment) to be that child at heart. i might grow up some day, get a wife and kids...couple of dogs, house payment and what not, but at the time being, im still having fun being a kid...i dont see anything wrong with it. this thread reminded me of this, so here it is....

i dont want to grow up,
im a toys r us kid,
there's a million toys at toys r us
that i can play with!
from bikes to trains to video games,
its the biggest toy store there is!
i dont want to grow up,
cuz if I did,
i wouldnt be a toys r us kid! :grin:


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: wrestler_az]
    #3061397 - 08/28/04 11:17 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Thanks guys  :heart:

As some of you know I started college on Monday.  For the first time in years, I congregated among those who are my peers.  I started feeling childish and old at the same time, a feeling which I haven't had in awhile.  Usually I don't question the way I feel.

Most of these kids in my classes are fresh out of high school and still live with their parents.  Nothing wrong with that, but I (married, living on my own for 4 years now) feel like I have NOTHING in common with any of them.  I felt childish because they all "appeared" so older then me, like they had it all together and I didn't.  And older, because I have more world-experience then they do...I feel "wiser" then they are. 

So it was very conflicting.  I started wondering if they were preceiving me as older or younger then them?

And my professors.  Each of them gave us a lecture about how we are ADULTS now, and need to start behaving like adults.  And I starting thinking...but what does that mean, being an "adult?"??

And my parents have been especially on my case too.  They love to call me an adult and pressure me into doing "adult" things, but all I want to do is say, "I'm still growing...I'm not there yet!" 

So I know it's common when you begin a new phase of your life to have identity issues, so maybe that's all it is.  I just feel so much like a child.  Like I don't belong among people my own age.

And weirdly...in my minds eye, I still view myself as a little girl, digging through a sandbox, or running barefoot in the woods.  At the same time, I see myself as an old woman walking alone in a garden with inkstained fingers.  Those images are always present simultaneosly in my minds eye.  Is that really weird?

The replies really helped, thank you everyone.  :heart:


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3061571 - 08/28/04 12:48 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
I still view myself as a little girl, digging through a sandbox, or running barefoot in the woods.  At the same time, I see myself as an old woman walking alone in a garden with inkstained fingers.  Those images are always present simultaneosly in my minds eye.  Is that really weird? 




i dont think thats weird at all...but then again, i myself have been known as "the weird guy" on more than one occasion, so my saying its not weird might not amount to much...i tend to think that these feelings of being both young and old at the same time may have more truth to it then meets the eye, or mind, or in your case, your minds eye :grin: but then again, i am the weird guy :smirk:


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflineBigNerd
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Registered: 10/31/03
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3069838 - 08/30/04 05:34 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
And weirdly...in my minds eye, I still view myself as a little girl, digging through a sandbox, or running barefoot in the woods. At the same time, I see myself as an old woman walking alone in a garden with inkstained fingers. Those images are always present simultaneosly in my minds eye.




Read Dune, by Frank Herbert.

BigNerd


--------------------
Sometimes karma needs a little help.


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OfflineTwirling
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3070495 - 08/30/04 08:31 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
Thanks guys  :heart:

As some of you know I started college on Monday.  For the first time in years, I congregated among those who are my peers.  I started feeling childish and old at the same time, a feeling which I haven't had in awhile.  Usually I don't question the way I feel.

Most of these kids in my classes are fresh out of high school and still live with their parents.  Nothing wrong with that, but I (married, living on my own for 4 years now) feel like I have NOTHING in common with any of them.  I felt childish because they all "appeared" so older then me, like they had it all together and I didn't.  And older, because I have more world-experience then they do...I feel "wiser" then they are. 

So it was very conflicting.  I started wondering if they were preceiving me as older or younger then them?




You've been out of school for a little while now, so they might be more used to "having it all together" since it was only a few months ago they were in class. Just remind yourself that as you go through college, you'll get the orginization together as long as you focus on what you need, not what other people may or may not think you need.

Sometimes we have this insecurity that we think other people think about us, when really they're either focusing on their own needs, have no problem with it, or the "problem" might not even exist! More importantly, it's better to have relationships with people who accept you for who you are, then try to hide it to be who you expect people want you to be.

I went back to school today for the first time in 3 years, and I don't think I stood out as older, even though I'm 23 going on 24. Either way, I think the big thing I've figured out, is that a lot of adults lose touch with their child-like curousity of the world simply because life becomes too difficult for them and they have to repress that side of themselves as a survival technique. I think it's better to have that side of yourself and be able to enjoy it as a gift, considering the advantage of being able to feel the emotional wonderment of a child, with the wisdom of an old sage.  :laugh: I try to balance them in such a way that I can stay in touch with that side of myself without it interfering with my responsibilties.


--------------------
The very nature of experience is ineffable; it transcends cognitive thought and intellectualized analysis. To be without experience is to be without an emotional knowledge of what the experience translates into. The desire for the understanding of what life is made of is the motivation that drives us all. Without it, in fear of the experiences what life can hold is among the greatest contradictions; to live in fear of death while not being alive.



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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: Twirling]
    #3070656 - 08/30/04 09:09 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Thank you, everyone.  :heart:  I'm feeling more acceptance of my inner child as time goes on.


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InvisibleKrishna
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3074850 - 08/31/04 06:39 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

well, if it means anything, i would've always pegged you for older than 21 (maybe 27 or something?) based upon my random impressions of you here...

so don't worry about it, i think you're grown up enough :smile:


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3076570 - 09/01/04 03:18 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I would define maturity as having honor and integrity, meaning the things you say and following through on the values you profess. Maturity is being responsible for your own existence, leaving things the way you found them (or better), sustaining yourself via your own positive actions (aka- self-actualization). Maturity is making personal sacrifices to build something beautiful, or help stop the pain and suffering in the world.

Sure, I'm a little wacky. I bluntly state my opinion sometimes. I dont pay much attention to pointless social customs and rituals. I use drugs and dress however I feel like dressing. I still play video games, and I have a large collection of Transformer toys and comic books. For these and other similar reasons, I have been called 'immature'. But thats bullshit, because I always pay my bills, I always keep my word, and I never let down those who depend on me. Anyone who would use such superficial reasons to call me immature needs to look in a mirror next time they make that accusation. One can keep their inner child alive and still be very mature.

there are many benefits of keeping your inner child alive. Wonder. Fascination. Youthful drive. Curiosity. The idea is to keep these things in tact while become reliable and dependable, and capable of supporting yourself.

Some people think that in order to be mature you have to be boring and dead inside. Thats actually a sign of immaturity. These people are running from themselves, retreating into a world where they wont be judged, because they are doing everything that they are 'supposed to'.

just my opinion


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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InvisibleEgo Death
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3088346 - 09/03/04 06:52 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I :love: u


--------------------


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OfflineF0SS1L
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Registered: 08/29/04
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Re: Never growing up? [Re: MOTH]
    #3094922 - 09/05/04 02:19 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I think the idea of "growing up" sucks. "Adults" are always complaining about one thing or another and never having a good time unless they're getting sloshed. As long as you're not a completely obnoxious person, I think you're much better of not acting like a grown up.


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