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mndfrayze'speppet urme
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Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
Loc: oz
the judge and the victim
    #3050411 - 08/25/04 10:29 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I find that what the ego does a lot of the times is it creates a judge, but with that judge also comes the other side, the victim. our ego acts as both judge and victim, as it judges what you 'ought' to do, the victim takes the beating from the resulting judgement. this is why people who judge themselves a lot become depressed. it's actually kind of sick once you think about it, because we torture ourselves.

lots of time we have to forgive ourselves in order to let go which is a first step, but it isn't a complete one. because we have to forgive ourselves, it means we are still judging. the key here would be acceptance. this way our egos can relax, there is no judge, there is no victim, there is just us seeing reality for what it really is.

when we do something our mind deems wrong, our egos will step in from there, and if we don't have control over it we will beat ourselves up for the mistakes we make. the fact is, we are making mistakes all the time, so the more you judge yourself, the more you seem to notice.

this isn't to say about efficiency, as in a "better" way of doing things instead of the "right" way cause there isn't A right way .

a couple of things we can do....

when dealing with the day to day reality, try your best to not impose your will on any situation. this is where the ego judgement comes from, because most of your unhappiness derives from you not agreeing with what reality gives you.

the fact of the matter is, life will give, and it also takes. that's one of the lessons. just let go.

before we can really let go though, we must first also see that there are many positive aspects happening around us. while there are many mistakes, there are also many great things happening around us. it is our ego that keeps us from seeing all of the good things that happen. When we notioce what is good, when something goes our way it will give us a flash of pleasure.

most of the time, when things happen the way we want them to we aren't even happy about it, we don't rejoice in it is much as we should. most of the time we delve into what's wrong, but we don't spend just as much time seeing what is right. once we see this enough times, we can go into actually not judging at all. sure we will feel happy when something goes our way, and it is good to look at the "bright side of life" but these will only yeild a flash of pleasure. this is not happiness, or bliss. a continuous state. I mean after all, why go through an emotional roller coaster of good and bad, when we can instead stay in the middle?

in the middle, there isn't a judge, and conversly, there isn't a victim. we won't feed off of our own energies, and instead keep our cup filled, because that's how it has always been. our lives are already are fulfilling, it is our ego that takes it away.

Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie

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Re: the judge and the victim [Re: kaiowas]
    #3050615 - 08/25/04 11:05 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

May I add that it's the guilt that comes along with a "having done wrong judgement" that sets up the cycle of self punishing behavior.

We have it ingrained in us that "the guilty must be punished" Auto pilot takes over on this one.

yes indeed, the seconf you realise that you feel bad about something, love yourself enough to allow yourself to make mistakes. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself for making them. Love yourself enough to accept your humaness. Allow yourself to move into a humble place for a time. It all feels good and empowering and staves off self punishing behavior.

Of course, here is one of the best things I learned from reading Don Miguel Ruiz's book called The Mastery of Love. The book to good for words and I think I will re-read it because I know I fell out of practice.

If you made a choice and did not like the results, you are not neccesarily stuck with them. You can make a new choice, based on how you wish you would of acted and then act again on the new choice. You'd be amazed at how you can turn a bad sitituation around. It ussually takes getting passed the ego to do it. The way he explaines it, ego is not even an issue to get passed, because your ego wants for what is in it's best interests and turning around a bad situation is in it's best interest. Turning a bad situation around where others are involved is in everyones best interests, all egos aside.

We have so much power in choices and we can always make new ones over old one if we don't like the results.

Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Registered: 07/13/99
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Re: the judge and the victim [Re: kaiowas]
    #3050637 - 08/25/04 11:10 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Judge and victim?

I don't think that's how everyone works... but it's a good description of some people's modus operandi.

Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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Re: the judge and the victim [Re: kaiowas]
    #3050639 - 08/25/04 11:10 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Very intereting post. I have had a long history of depression, low self-esteem, social anxiety disorder, ect. I didn't start getting better until I began smoking pot and tripping, and I believe a large part of that is after tripping I have new perspectives, and during the trip I can really see into myself and other people. I'm more care free with my life now, and more accepting of who I am. This gave me more confidence and higher self-esteem. I've also had some problems with harder drugs, and one of the major facets of addiction is an internal battle. The only way i've gotten off those things is through tripping and the perspectives I get from it. It's amazing how much the ego can fuck with you and your life.

Hungry dogs run faster

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Re: the judge and the victim [Re: kaiowas]
    #3051965 - 08/26/04 05:15 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

lots of replay of one's elders.
the pattern becomes the ego.
contradictions - who said there would be no contradictions. it's replay - the family is full of contradictions.

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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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