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Registered: 12/14/01
Posts: 308
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Personal Journals
    #2987772 - 08/10/04 08:29 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Hello everybody

I dont want to go into so much detail, but lets just say I feel the same negative, nihilistic way that many people at these support boards do. Personally, I think its the drugs. I dont think we should disillusion ourselves and others into believing that drugs (yes, even pot; sometimes especially pot) are harmless/beneficial/eye-openers and that they dont affect us or our problems in "that" way. We need to get our heads around it.

But I digress, since that is not why I created this post. I keep a personal journal, and I've noticed that I only really write/type in it when im in a depressed state. Entries where I genuinely feel happy are scarce and inbetween, mainly because, when im in such a good mood I dont feel the need to reflect/write about my problems. Anyway... I've been thinking about destroying/deleting these journals as a way to start looking foward, but I'm not 100% about it. I feel like my writings serve no purpose but to remind me of dark and negative things in my past. But at the same time I feel destroying them would be akin to simply running away or ignoring my problems.

I guess I'm wondering if anybody has ever had to make the same kind of consideration or decision, and how it worked out for you and whether you had any regrets. Any insight would be appreciated.

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Registered: 06/24/02
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Re: Personal Journals [Re: foghorn]
    #2987915 - 08/10/04 09:05 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

If anybody actually feels like a substance is hurting them, the answer is obvious... But why pentalize the rest of us?

I used to write about depression.... mostly women...
I destroyed them years ago, when I stopped caring, and never took it back up... interpret as you will...


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Registered: 12/14/01
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Re: Personal Journals [Re: HarveyWalbanger]
    #2988072 - 08/10/04 09:45 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

you are correct - i did not mean to demonize anybody specifically for their substance use (especially since i belong in the same group) - i just feel that full acknowledgement (not the maybe denial kinda thing) is the first step towards fixing things.

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Registered: 05/18/03
Posts: 964
Loc: S.W. Virginia
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Re: Personal Journals [Re: foghorn]
    #2988465 - 08/10/04 10:59 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I think keeping a journal is a good idea. Writing things down helps get it off your chest. Writing makes me feel better. You can throw away what you have already written but keep writing. It's a way to get things in the open without telling someone how you are feeling.

Live each day like it will be your last, tomorrow my never come.

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Registered: 05/27/04
Posts: 671
Loc: Idaho (USA)
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Re: Personal Journals [Re: foghorn]
    #2988803 - 08/11/04 12:16 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I kept a journal in rehab at the age of 14 for about 5 months. It was a trip, crazy people and abused plus being sent to another state for a year. But I look back at it for sacred memories and for testimony for those who need it.

Destroy your memories if they don't serve some some sort of back up, proof, reminder, or something helpful in life. Are they a part of you? If cutting them out cuts something important out of your identity I wouldn't do it.

"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong

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Registered: 05/08/04
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Re: Personal Journals [Re: foghorn]
    #2989183 - 08/11/04 02:30 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Drugs are meant to be used as an occasional thing.Not a daily or regular habit.Constant/regular use is taxing on the body and its energy.Over time this energy and health(physical and mental) drains more and more without it filling back up at all.The body really does not get a chance to rest from the effects.Drugs historically were used ritually on special occasions and it was because it is a sacred and powerful thing.But nowadays like many sacred things it has lost is sacredness and is now being used like ciggs or alcohol is used.The best thing to do when the body is very drained is to at least give the body a large chunk of time to recover.A couple months or so of abstinence from drugs will show a large improvement most likely.

By the way,pot and many other drugs have been shown to cause or worsen psychological illness like depression and anxiety especially among other disorders.If something feels bad/toxic it usually is.

All in all,respect the drugs and put them down for awhile and let your body recover fully before resuming with occasional use.

"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."

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