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Registered: 01/21/02
Posts: 4,779
Last seen: 19 years, 6 months
Was I in the wrong?
    #2963255 - 08/04/04 05:38 AM (19 years, 8 months ago)

Me and a good friend - we consider ourselves 'Bros' in a David Aames/Brian Shelby sort of way from Vanilla Sky, anyways, we just had a fight, a huge debate gone sour, and it's mostly him instigating me with anti-God-Islam-Religion and so forth remarks that turn into debates, but I'm guilty for biting the baiting. But, this guy is also a general asshole to alot of people, he's into black metal, and is generally self serving in all social conduct, he mooches, and uses people. Everyone I know, and everyone he thinks are his friends talk about him behind his back because he's so self serving. But I still tolerate this ironically, considering my point of position. However, last night in the war of words, I told him what everyone thinks of his conduct, and he gave damn new meaning to the term Shoot the Messenger, as he nearly kicked my ass before I could get out of there. Was I right at all to tell him what people think of him? As I was being booted out of his house he told me "You're on the list of people I've cut from from life" as he named off two previous friends we had but who moved on to a bigger population. He called me a betrayal, and gave me the basic impression that he didn't want to see me ever again. Alot of this stems from the fact that he's bitter that I'm moving to the provinces capital for both spiritual and educational reasons. And when I told him I'm moving, that's when he began his campaign against my personal convictions because they do play a role in my leaving town to persue a greater life experience. What are everyone's thoughts on this?


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i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
Re: Was I in the wrong? [Re: Zahid]
    #2963305 - 08/04/04 06:32 AM (19 years, 8 months ago)

It's tough to comment on a situation like this without being there and hearing all the points made. Sounds like he's sad that you're going away. Maybe he's jealous too. Many people just tend to lash out when that happens even if it's at the object of their affection. It also sounds like you should've exerted more of your spiritual mastery and not retaliated with personal attacks on him. It's usually better for a person if they find out the ways they are screwed up for themselves, not have it shouted at them by someone they're angry with.
Good luck with it anyway, I'm sure you two will reconcile eventually.

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Back from being gone.
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Registered: 03/18/02
Posts: 6,953
Loc: omotive
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Was I in the wrong? [Re: Zahid]
    #2963389 - 08/04/04 07:46 AM (19 years, 8 months ago)

You weren't wrong, honesty and choice are special things to express.

Honesty is the only way to go.

Choice is the only freedom we have.

I personally always think everyone is free to do whatever he wants. (Ofcourse no child raping or whatever sick things we have here on earth). As long as nobody results in long term damage from it.

You made your choice, he made his one to act that way. A better resolution would have been form him to accept the information. And first analyse it further to see what he could do with it. Since it was given to aid him in the problem he has which others experience from him.

I hope this helps, my person is a bit out of sync lately so I have to stop here. Good luck!  :smirk:

:dancing: My latest music! :yesnod:

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Invisiblesir tripsalot

Registered: 07/09/99
Posts: 6,487
Re: Was I in the wrong? [Re: Zahid]
    #2965594 - 08/04/04 07:18 PM (19 years, 8 months ago)

I have a friend who is similar in that everybody talks about the shitty things he does behind his back. None of us would try to break him down by basically telling him"everyone hates you". Just be glad that your other friends are good.

I don't know you but I bet a lot of your friends are commenting negatively about you leaving, it's natural to express that kind of thing in anger. This buddy of yours is probably just more williing to speak up because.....He's a dick.


"Little racoons and old possums 'n' stuff all live up in here. They've got to have a little place to sit." Bob Ross.

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Registered: 07/04/04
Posts: 4,126
Loc: In the woods
Re: Was I in the wrong? [Re: Zahid]
    #2966137 - 08/04/04 09:39 PM (19 years, 8 months ago)

The truth hurts, and sometimes you have to take a few hits if you live to serve the truth.

However, when I find myself in similar situations (quite frequently), I never tell a person what others say. I explain to them that they are being an asshole using only examples that I have personally wittnessed. The outcome isn't much better than you experienced, but there is one benefit; said person will hate me, but he will not have negative feelings toward his other friends like he would if I told him that we all agree that he is an asshole.

It's important to remember that selfish people spend the vast majority of their time thinking about themselves. If you want to help them you have to take this into consideration when communicating with them. The process can be very slow, but if you remember that God loves the selfish people as much as he loves you, but expects more from you because of your awareness, then you can be effective. Don't get too down on yourself. Just ask God to forgive you for the errors you made in the confrontation, and pray that your friend may come to know the love of God.

Peace Zahid

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