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OfflinePuZuZu
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flirting/cheating problem
    #2927395 - 07/26/04 12:31 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

this is gay. i'm a chick with a big fucking annoying problem. i love to flirt. i love to mess around with guys. heres the most recent scenario and i've finally concluded i have a big problem:

i've been going out with a guy named clint for awhile, about a couple months. we hardly see each other since summer school is out (last year finally). well, i met him in summer school along with his whole group of stoner friends. and as usual i flirted with other guys behind his back. i have strongest feelings for clint but still fuck around.

then i really put the relationship into trauma for my mind after going on a vacation with family + cousins to my other house in "hollywood" idaho, sun valley. the whole week went by smoothly, i called clint whenever during the night, it was just a bunch of girl cousins plus grandparents. since i don't see these people very much. then the weekend rolls by and my boy cousin, adam comes over. no feelings for adam but he had to bring his friend jason along.

well in the end i pulled shitloads of moves on jason because i'm bored off my ass and miss clint. plus its fun in a fucked sort of way. ended up getting dirty with him in bed....only knew him for a couple days. guess when lights are out and its just your cousin around its hard to resist.

i wouldn't mind if i wasn't dating another guy but this has to stop. its been going on for the last few years. i want to know how to control my flirting problem because its going to smack me upside the face soon. =( please don't think i'm childish, i'm just clueless. i don't want to admit this problem to anyone i know because they'll just hate me for it.  :stoned:

now i must go toke this guilt off. lol


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong



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Invisibleshroomydan
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2927574 - 07/26/04 01:52 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Flirting is fun, I often engage in it myself even though I am committed. It makes the girls I'm flirting with feel good, and it makes me feel good. However, there is a difference between flirting and fucking. The later is a very personal thing that should be reserved for one special person. Next time you find yourself in this situatation remember that you have much to loose and little to gain.
Waiting and practicing chastity actually makes it better when you do find the right person.

:heart:


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2927653 - 07/26/04 02:26 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I think it depends on your relationship with your current sig. other, and what is acceptable for both of you in your relationship. 

Some couples have a very open relationship where a bit of flirting and even more is a common occurance and is acceptable. 

Another couple might view the above example as a betrayal, or get jealous and defensive. 

I guess if I were you, I would talk to your man and try to set boundaries for what is okay, and what is not.  Personally, I think that almost everyone flirts in some way, even when they may be committed.  Of course, cheating with another person is something different altogether because it has a tendency to be very harmful to the person you are supposed to be with.  And IMO, if you truly care about someone, you would not do anything that might hurt him/her. 

My advice:  If you feel like you should stop, just STOP flirting/cheating.  Just stop it.  It really is that easy.  *You* are the person in control of your actions, and you can stop if you want.  :smile:

Good luck... :heart:


truly,

*me*


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Offlinebrowndustin
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: MOTH]
    #2931211 - 07/27/04 03:51 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Flirting's one thing, but potentially breaking a dude's heart is not good karma. Make sure you skim over the reprocussions before you make big decisions, just common sense eh?


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OfflinePuZuZu
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2932322 - 07/27/04 02:10 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

thanks guys. i need what they call, think before you act type thing.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong



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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2933731 - 07/27/04 07:54 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

ehh

how hurt would he be if he knew? I think the "best" way would be to calmly introduce him to the problem and work on it, but if he'll flip out and drop you, weellllll maybe you should try something else


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OfflinePuZuZu
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2934697 - 07/28/04 12:32 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

i don't know how hurt he'd be. the last girlfriend he had he got pregnant and that turned sour. then as that relationship broke up he started hanging out with me. he called his girlfriend a bitch around me, and we'd make jokes of rescuing his ass from her everytime he was forced to talk to her. then there was one time he kissed her, she went to class then he hugged me for the first time. i dunno. plus he's always stoned sooooo.... and he's always joking around with friends about being gay and stuff. he's a laid back dude and i'm not new to open relationships where the partners fuck other people while still being together.

i dunno. i'm gonna have to introduce him to the problem incase he is uptight about it for some reason. i'm just wondering why *i* can't stick with one guy. its gay.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong



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OfflineDark_Raider
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2935001 - 07/28/04 01:28 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I think it's completely sickening. If you're going to act like that then don't ever get into a relationship. People like you are why I'm so pissed. And why I've slowly begun to hate women all together. Except for their sexiness that is :P


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2935159 - 07/28/04 02:00 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

You have it in you to stop it. You just need some self-discipline. If you don't have the self-discipline to stop yourself, then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Offlinebrowndustin
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: silversoul7]
    #2935384 - 07/28/04 04:14 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Your actions sicken me to say the least. Perhaps you should grow up.


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OfflineDigs
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: silversoul7]
    #2935387 - 07/28/04 04:14 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

a monogonamous relationship at least :wink:


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OfflinePuZuZu
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2936213 - 07/28/04 02:29 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

least i'm honest about myself. =p the motivation is growing. is there anyway to rid of a clinging habit i have? fuck therapy, i think simple mental exercises could do the trick.


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OfflinepsilocyberV
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2936253 - 07/28/04 02:45 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Sexual addiction is a very real problem. There are support groups for problems like this, and honestly they are not as scarey as you would think. Other people in those support groups (like sexaholics anonymous) will share similar problems to your own and they can offer you the mental and emotional support you may need to find yourself in a place where you can have a stable, steady long lasting relationship with a man (or woman) based on more than just casual sex.

Otherwise it will be an exercise in self-disipline. Know that most men are dogs and given the opportunity they'll stick their penis in anything that will allow it, so it might not be that easy to say "no" when you have been saying "yes" for so long. You'll need friends that will support and help you through any possible temptations you may have.

If the need is for sexual release, and not necessarily related to self-esteem or needing attention from the opposite sex then you should consider heading down to the local sex toy shop and doing some shopping... masterbation is very healthy and could help take the edge off of any desire to sleep around with random men in non-committed relationships.


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OfflineNorthernsoul
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2936631 - 07/28/04 04:23 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

When you look back, do you find that everytime you screw around that you have been drinking or taking drugs?


--------------------


--------------------------------------------------------------

When it comes
I'll know, I know
Just take my clothes and leave
And I'll be gone




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Invisiblesir tripsalot
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2936842 - 07/28/04 05:11 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

You are over complicating this issue. Clint thinks he is in a menagomous relationship with you. But you are a slut(there isn't another word, sorry).

" well in the end i pulled shitloads of moves on jason because i'm bored off my ass and miss clint "
The missing clint part was charming but doesn't change the fact.


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"Little racoons and old possums 'n' stuff all live up in here. They've got to have a little place to sit." Bob Ross.


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InvisiblePJDIDDLE
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Re: flirting/cheating problem *DELETED* [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2937334 - 07/28/04 07:33 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Post deleted by Script

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Offlinebrowndustin
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PJDIDDLE]
    #2937556 - 07/28/04 08:36 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

It's not hard, just don't do it! Don't look for excuses or treatment to ween you off your bad habit, just stop! Do it for your man. Or dump him and spare him the anguish he'll have to face when you go messing around with more guys.. not trying to be a prick, but if you care about him at all then you'll be fair to him at least.


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2937627 - 07/28/04 08:50 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

PuZuZu said:
least i'm honest about myself. =p the motivation is growing. is there anyway to rid of a clinging habit i have? fuck therapy, i think simple mental exercises could do the trick.



Ya. Just don't do it. It really is that easy. You just make it hard for yourself.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2938561 - 07/29/04 12:39 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Hi,

Well if i was trying to be in a relationship with you (i wouldn't because too many cheating women have done this to me but) i would pretty much think you were a lieing cheating whore if you just kept it a secret and snuck around and got off on sneaking around and doing that.

On the other hand, i would think you were cool if you just told me that you cant help yourself.. Be Fucking Cool to the guy, tell him you cant help yourself, and that if you plan on staying together tell the guy to start looking for a new girlfriend (give that to him, be cool..), or a least tell him to get more than just one g/f, because, that is what you are doing to him, you're with more than one guy and its not cool to stray a guy like that, its just not cool.

But you would be cool if you were honest to him, and tell him that you want him to be with other women too (and you probably don't want to see him with other women!~ :smile:)

I dunno, if you're going to act like that, save face and just dont be a sneaky b.tch about it on another persons time.. you should either knock it off or just tell the guy you're with the real scoop and give him the option for him to have more than just you as a g/f, because you are going to hurt a guy that way.. alot of women get off on hurting mens feelings, , oh well, the guys live and learn. Eventually they wouldnt even go near a women like you.

Keep shroomin
GG


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OfflinePuZuZu
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Re: flirting/cheating problem [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2940359 - 07/29/04 01:44 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

yeah GG, thats my choice that will make a smooth path for both of us. plus i'm trying to find ways of spending more time with him. i've never been single in my life except for a couple grades in grade school so its always been hard being away from a guy. pathetic? possibly so.

i can say that alot of this habit has originated from middle school when doing such things was considered normal or tolerated. it was when all the teeners had raging hormones and got bored easily of each other. plus for some reason lots of guys kept coming to me. i thought i was butt ugly but they thought otherwise. most just wanted down your pants.

then middle school/high school my parents divorced and have taken up fucked up habits ever since. my mom would make a habit of cheating on her boyfriends. even if one was an exhusband and another a fiance. she dated nonstop. then my dad decided to do his stupid russian mail order bride shibang. boy was that the talk of the family, everyone thought him nuts and desperate. he wanted someone stupid and oldfashioned "family oriented" if you will but instead they are retired pornstars IMO who want your money. they'll dump you the sec you quit buying them shit.

i don't blame it all on my parents because thats cliche and also can fall in line with blaming my drug use on my parents. thats gay, we all are responsible for our actions. i just need a wake up call. thanks guys for the advice and honesty.


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