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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
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Last seen: 4 months, 25 days
What do you think about...
    #2924376 - 07/24/04 09:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

long distance relationships?
I'm so f**king in love with a man who lives so far away. I would definitely move where he is. Right now, it's just to soon. He has flown down here to see me. That can't happen very often because, it would eventually cost to much money. Not to mention, his job keeps him very busy. He works a normal business day, and only gets weekends off. It's hurts to love someone so much and not be able to hold them or kiss them, because they're not around. I don't want to let him go. I know he loves me and he doesn't want to let this go either.
Can someone please tell me if you've ever been in a long-distance.
How hard was it?
Did it work out?
Where are they now?
That sort of stuff. I need some advise on dealing with this situation because it is all very new to me.

Thank You,
~The Distant Lover~ :heart:


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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineLoneDeranger
Deranger

Registered: 05/10/04
Posts: 374
Loc: Nonething
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2925407 - 07/25/04 07:22 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I have had a long distance relationship that lasted a year, and we met only once. It didn't work out in the end, it's too hard loving someone and not being able to be with them. We still chat every now and then. I know people who met their husband or wife online and are happily married. It's all your choice really, if you want to take it to the next level. I'd make sure you really want to do it beforehand and think of everything, because that is a big decision. Good luck with your relationship, i hope everything works out.


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Mescalito is my homeboy...


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,946
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2925649 - 07/25/04 12:17 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

If the initial psychological (emotion) and physiological (chemistry) attraction were stimulated by elements of physical stimuli--i.e., visually and verbally communicating, physically active, etc., then of course it can be difficult to maintain that relationship further in a circumstance which lacks conduciveness to the perpetuity of love as it has little to none of the aforementioned criterion for supporting and strengthening the bond of love.
Suffice it to say, it is a test on that exact bond of love between the two of you. A test of the flexibility of the 'rubber bond' that binds you two together... so the 'rubber bond' will either become stretched..stretched even further... and more.. until it either snaps back, only even more larger, stretchier and more flexible...
Or it'll break under the stress.

Good luck.



--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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OfflineMystiq_Shaman
x.o.

Registered: 07/10/04
Posts: 404
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2925658 - 07/25/04 12:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

tried it, does rarly work im afraid. one of you will go tired unless its like true love from both of you. i have had 2 long distance relationship and both when down the toilet, first time she found another, second time i met another. well this is just my experience i dont want to be negative and say no it will not work for you.


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: Mystiq_Shaman]
    #2926044 - 07/25/04 03:35 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Thank you for your comments.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineChiefThunderbong
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2926113 - 07/25/04 03:56 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I've never tried it myself, but know a few people who have. Back when I used to play everquest, I met a couple who told me they had met on eq and were now married and living together. They seemed super happy and sounded like things were going great. A year or so later I went back onto the game just to say hi to old friends, talked to the female and she told me she got knocked up and he split. So my advice is don't go too fast.


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Yeah spinnin' around again
yea caught in a tailspin


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InvisibleDoctorJ
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 Arcade Champion: Frogger

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,451
Loc: space
Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2926245 - 07/25/04 04:51 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I guess a long distance relationship could work, but it would depend on what you wanted out of it.  If you want a monogamous, bf/gf type relationship, I would say that the chances of that happening in person are slim, and the chances of that happening over a long distance are nearly non-existant. 

However, casual long distance relationships can work.  I still keep up with a lot of female friends that live in other cities and states.  I had feelings for one girl and she moved away, but that didnt stop our mutual attraction.  So we keep up as friends online when we cant be together, but whenever she visits her parents in my town, she always sneaks out at night to pay me a visit :smile:

  Of course, we both have feelings for eachother, but we know that a committed relationship wouldnt work over such a long distance, so we just take what we can get, when we can get it.  I wouldnt ask her to pass up on a fine guy in her town, and she wouldnt ask me to pass up a fine girl in my town.  We accept the fact that the distance between us is going to cause us to be 'unfaithful', but we dont let that screw up the little bit of togetherness that we can enjoy. 

so i guess the short answer to your question is: Yes, long distance relationships can work, but only if you aren't the jealous type and only if you aren't constantly in need of your partner's prescence.


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2926291 - 07/25/04 05:16 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
so i guess the short answer to your question is: Yes, long distance relationships can work, but only if you aren't the jealous type and only if you aren't constantly in need of your partner's prescence.




Well said!


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Registered: 04/09/04
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Last seen: 4 months, 25 days
Re: What do you think about... [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2926323 - 07/25/04 05:28 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I see your point of view. At times I feel it unbearable to be without him. But I know that we feel the same about eachother. I completely trust him, as he trusts me. With every right because I would never cheat on him. If I met a nice guy right now where I am, I would pass up that chance because I know I have found love with an even nicer and greater man.
I do need his presence. But, I can survive without it. His daily morning "I love you" wake up calls brighten my day before it even begins.
We did end our relationship once before. Before it was even semi-serious. I couldn't handle that. I missed him to much. I became miserable. So I wrote him back telling him how much I missed him and wanted to try this again. He agreed that we should. So we did and now it has become an amazing love. I believe this man is the one for me. I'm just confused on how long I should wait until the distance becomes to unbearable, for either of us.
Even if we were to go our seperate ways, I will always love this man. He has changed my life, and made me a much happier person.

Thank you for your reply!


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineUncleMike
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Registered: 05/18/03
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2926583 - 07/25/04 06:40 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Distance can be very hard on a relationship, but if you were meant for each other then you two will find a way to make it happen. The main thing is trust. You must trust each other for if you don't then you can hang it up now.


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OfflinePuZuZu
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Registered: 05/27/04
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2927418 - 07/26/04 12:43 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

How hard was it?
Did it work out?
Where are they now?

i did those long distance relationship things all the time back in the day when the internet was new. my longest was and is 4 years long. i met him on everquest. i live in idaho, he in colorado.

we talked and did shit over the game for about 2 and a half years nonstop, it was great. i fell in love with him. then the relationship got caught short after i got arrested and sent to a rehab where i couldn't make contact with him. after returning home i wasn't allowed on everquest but i was able to get on the IM service to talk to him. it took forever to recontact him. about 6 months.

then we went strong again. i've been to denver, have never met him but have pictures of the guy. its been a very intimate relationship full of strong mental connection. i've been calling him. but lately i've gotten physical with local boys again and decided to get a real boyfriend. he doesn't mind. he says its ok. he hardly gets on the internet anymore. neither do i. my social life demands too much i guess lol.

but yes, long distance relationships are posssible. if me and him stay in contact for the next 2 years i see some actual physical bondage coming. i'm sure he's "the one".

my dad also does the internet dating thing. dates women in russia, mail order brides i s'pose. if you have any questions about internet dating, ask me, i'm a fucking expert. lol.


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"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong



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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
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Last seen: 4 months, 25 days
Re: What do you think about... [Re: PuZuZu]
    #2927485 - 07/26/04 01:14 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I've met alot of people online. Most were very nice, but I never had a connection with any of them. Shit, I've even been married, and I've never felt this before. I've gone a year without sex before. The sex part is not an issue. He did fly down here recently to see me and he gave me enough of the dicken to last a year!  :yesnod:

I do want him near me, but I'm afraid of waiting so long. Are you really going to wait for your man for two yrs.
That's a long time.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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Invisibleshroomydan
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Registered: 07/04/04
Posts: 4,126
Loc: In the woods
Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2927628 - 07/26/04 02:14 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I was in the navy for six years and had two long distance relationships, both failed, the first badly when my girlfriend from back home got pregnant by some other dude, and the second amicably after my girfriend, also in the navy, got transfered to greece for a 4 year tour. I also witnessed about 50% of my shipmates relationships, married or otherwise, end in infidelity on every six mounth cruise. The nature of a ramantic relationship is for a man to be with a woman. Internet or long distance relationships break down into pure fantasy because the couple is not actually together, these fantasies do not fullfill the basic human need for intimacy. When one of the two parties finds the real thing physically present with them, them the fantasy is seen for what it is, and dropped for the really present other person.

I've personally had my haert ripped out to the point where I contemplated suicide by the infidelity of my long distance girlfriend, but now don't realy blame her because I wasn't there for her, I was at sea for six months.

The only way a long distance relationship can ever possibly work is if one party moves closer to the other, thereby making actual contact possible. If you are not willing to drop your life to move closer to this guy, then just let it go. Otherwise, somebody else will eventually come along to end the relationship. The heartache will be worse the longer you wait.

Just my thoughts,

Peace


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: shroomydan]
    #2927798 - 07/26/04 03:55 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Thank you very much. We don't live extremely far apart, but it's far enough.
He has come to see me, but your right. I can't live where he's at right now. And i will not ask him to leave his perfect job for me.

I may also be pregnant as well. From him. I'm not sure what i would do if i was.

Thank you again for your comments!


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineBarbi
Plastic Person

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 12,976
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2928028 - 07/26/04 09:26 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

oh lord.

One second you are making posts about being single, now your pregnant with his kid?

Is he a shroomerite? :P


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Registered: 04/09/04
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Last seen: 4 months, 25 days
Re: What do you think about... [Re: Barbi]
    #2929281 - 07/26/04 05:53 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I didn't say I was pregnant. I said I may be....possibly.
No he's not a shroomerite, thank god. I don't need any more whackos in my life.


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineChiefThunderbong
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2929290 - 07/26/04 05:57 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Babies are NOT a good way to keep a man. Abortions are a girl's best friend.


--------------------
Yeah spinnin' around again
yea caught in a tailspin


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
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Last seen: 4 months, 25 days
Re: What do you think about... [Re: ChiefThunderbong]
    #2929294 - 07/26/04 05:58 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I agree, they can be.
I would never have a baby to keep a man. That's f**ked up!


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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OfflineChiefThunderbong
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Re: What do you think about... [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #2929401 - 07/26/04 06:53 PM (12 years, 7 months ago)

I've seen it happen unfortunatly.....some girls like to go fishing. I didn't mean to accuse you or anything, although it does seem possible that you are doing it either conciously or subconciously. But it never works, so remember that.

I hope your guy cares about you as much as you seem to care about him. Us men lie almost as much as women do.


--------------------
Yeah spinnin' around again
yea caught in a tailspin


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