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I dont want to sound like a smartass or anything but have you concideret professional help? It sounds like you could use some help from others face to face more than from shroomerites. not trying to kill this thread, a debate on this would be intresting.
My terror of the mind is that if I don't watch myself, I can easily slide into terrible, morbid thinking. During these moments, I fantasize about loved ones dying and imagine how I would react, what I would do. Another thing that really bothers me, is that I am constantly wondering if I am going mad, or developing schitzophrenia, or am thinking, "What's wrong with me? Is there something wrong with me?"
That's just me being paranoid, I guess, and I can trace alot of those feeling back to my childhood where I believe they originate. I only have those obsessive types of thoughts when I'm feeling paranoid. Luckily, I also don't indulge my morbid side much anymore and can usually keep those unsettling thoughts at bay.
I can't really relate to thoughts manifesting internally as demons. When I was a teenager, my mother thought that I was possessed and had the church do lay on hands on me, but I don't think that's what you're talking about.
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