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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff!
    #2906995 - 07/20/04 01:11 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

An ithyphallic man with a totemic bird staff, possibly a chief or medicine man, was gored to death by a bison in the Lascaux region of France about 17,000 years ago. The victim?s immediate family have not been available for comment, and we will try to have film, as soon as it is available. 

Also found at the crime scene was a spear, which may mean that the bison was acting in self-defense. However, police are actively seeking the bison as a prime suspect in what is possibly foul play.



As seen in this illustration (by an, as yet, unidentified individual) a rhinoceros can be seen leaving the crime scene. Attempts to track down this lone rhinoceros for questioning have met with little success, but we will keep you informed with breaking developments in this case.

This has been a Shroomery Action News Bulletin!? :laugh:


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Offlined33p Happy Birthday
Welcome to Violence

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 5,381
Loc: the shores of Tripoli
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: Papaver]
    #2907004 - 07/20/04 01:14 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Why does that ithyphallic man have a hard on. It looks to me like the Bison is cheating on the rhino with the man which is why the rhino has his back to them.

The bison is clearly giving fellatio to the man.


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I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends.

bang bang


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Offlinenicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,144
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Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: Papaver]
    #2907013 - 07/20/04 01:16 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I just hope they catch that bastard!


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"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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OfflineMcKennaFan200
AmateurGairologist

Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 5,395
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: Papaver]
    #2907022 - 07/20/04 01:19 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I love that cave art. He has a hard-on to accentuate that he is a man.


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"It seemed to me culture is a shabby lie. Or at least this culture is a shabby lie. If you work like a dog, you get 260 channels of bad television and a German automobile. What kind of perfection is that?"-McKenna


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Offlined33p Happy Birthday
Welcome to Violence

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 5,381
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Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #2907032 - 07/20/04 01:22 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Didn't they have the skirt lady figure back then?


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I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends.

bang bang


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: McKennaFan200]
    #2907035 - 07/20/04 01:22 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

His ithyphallic representation may also mean that he was an important man in the tribe or clan. The totemic bird staff may also represent this. One thing's for sure -- it's going to be a mystery unless we can find that damn rhino!


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Offlined33p Happy Birthday
Welcome to Violence

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 5,381
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Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: Papaver]
    #2907042 - 07/20/04 01:24 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

By totemic bird staff you mean rubber ducky on a stick?


--------------------
I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends.

bang bang


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: Papaver]
    #2907043 - 07/20/04 01:24 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

they have treatments for Ithyphallicism nowadays. And it doesn't involve Bison! :nut:


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: Le_Canard]
    #2907070 - 07/20/04 01:33 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

An ithyphallic man, a totemic bird staff, and a bison walk into this bar...


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OfflineJPZ
lost in mexico
Registered: 06/28/04
Posts: 193
Loc: Monterrey
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: Papaver]
    #2907106 - 07/20/04 01:42 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

...but the rhino ducks.

:lol:


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I do declare, I can float in the air.

"If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up."


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OfflineHooty
Reality isRelative

Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 2,467
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Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: Papaver]
    #2907107 - 07/20/04 01:44 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

the forth one ducked....and put the duck atop the totemic bird staff.


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Without love in the dream
It will never come true


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: BREAKING NEWS: Bison Gores Man With Totemic Bird Staff! [Re: JPZ]
    #2907176 - 07/20/04 02:06 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

LMAO! :grin:

There's a joke in that punch-line somewhere...


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