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Asante
Omnicyclion prophet


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,819
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Asante]
#28757476 - 05/01/24 09:20 AM (1 month, 25 days ago) |
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I had a dissociatives abuse problem.
i have a vial of memantine, a powerful Iboga related dissociative, in my left hand as i type this with my right hand.
i came off a monthlong binge to combat foot pain that is strong right now.
i am not in ant wayt tempted to take Memantine or a dissociative today.
Like in AA, God made a way for me.
after 4 years of abstinence.
and a relapse!
I am in control of memantine now!
Or I throw it in the trash!
I QUIT ALL ADDICTIONS
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Rukus
Big Dog



Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1,224
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 day, 23 hours
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Quote:
Cognitive_Shift said: Got clean in February of 2019. I can't remember the last time I thought about using/drinking. It's been years. I'm not big on the 12 steps but I respect it as a way of getting and staying sober. I did 90 in 90 because I was forced to, but I got some useful stuff out of it. Hope everyone hangs in there, it took me a LONGGG time for my brain to heal and the depression/anxiety to go away. Eventually you'll feel like your old self again. It just takes time. The freedom that comes from staying clean is amazing. I forgot what being content felt like.
Thanks for sharing. I'm 9 weeks sober but the anger and anxiety makes me question my choice. Would a 12 pack make me feel better? Prob briefly but would regret it the next day when I'm drinking by 9 am again
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Cognitive_Shift
CS actual




Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 29,613
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Rukus] 2
#28759617 - 05/02/24 08:41 PM (1 month, 23 days ago) |
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Just don't pick up the first drink. I know it sounds like a really stupid thing to say but it's true. It took me relapsing a dozen times before I figured out my brain is broken and every time I pick up it never works out. For me personally I never put myself in a situation where it was a possibility. No gas stations, no bars, no old friends or old places. It was really boring and lonely at times but it worked. Remember cravings are temporary. They will go away if you just don't act on them. Your brain is still re-wiring it's self and it will play tricks on you the first couple years in. Just don't pick up the first one no matter what.
-------------------- L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs
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Double
AB



Registered: 05/03/19
Posts: 862
Loc:
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Quote:
Cognitive_Shift said: Got clean in February of 2019. I can't remember the last time I thought about using/drinking. It's been years. I'm not big on the 12 steps but I respect it as a way of getting and staying sober. I did 90 in 90 because I was forced to, but I got some useful stuff out of it. Hope everyone hangs in there, it took me a LONGGG time for my brain to heal and the depression/anxiety to go away. Eventually you'll feel like your old self again. It just takes time. The freedom that comes from staying clean is amazing. I forgot what being content felt like.
Thank you for sharing CS
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Spectacle
NOGAME


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 406
Loc: DOX ME SKYDADDY
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Double] 1
#28764825 - 05/07/24 12:32 AM (1 month, 19 days ago) |
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30 days today! Not doing all the aforementioned stuff but community creativity and just staying actively engaged have helped a lot. Im on my last chance w the program I am in which is what I needed Loveyall ODAAT124
-------------------- D11PTUC<<ROLLrTHREDSTRIKRSQUAD.
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Mystikal
Arranger



Registered: 11/13/21
Posts: 1,577
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 day, 41 minutes
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Spectacle] 3
#28768357 - 05/09/24 07:48 PM (1 month, 16 days ago) |
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32 months without a sip. Really happy with my choice. Life is much easier without alcohol. Congrats to all the sober people.
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Spectacle
NOGAME


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 406
Loc: DOX ME SKYDADDY
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Mystikal]
#28768460 - 05/09/24 09:01 PM (1 month, 16 days ago) |
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gz mystikal,, thats a long time ^.^
-------------------- D11PTUC<<ROLLrTHREDSTRIKRSQUAD.
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Milleresque
Stranger

Registered: 04/10/22
Posts: 507
Last seen: 1 day, 14 hours
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Spectacle] 1
#28771289 - 05/12/24 12:08 AM (1 month, 14 days ago) |
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Went to a meeting today, first one in months. Last time I just wound up a blubbering mess, openly weeping. This time I was so sleep deprived and blue I couldn’t stand to share anything (also for fear of just getting too emotional in front of strangers), only listen and stare down at the table I was sitting at.
It’s very hard for my ego—not to mention my religious upbringing—to accept AA…and yet nothing else is going to help at this point. I’m actively addicted/dependent and yet my last two attempts at detox have been absolute failures. The last time I didn’t get past the admittance room because I was openly threatened by a guy with two black eyes and my anxiety, already high, just shot me right out of the place.
It’s like I’m going to fall through the proverbial cracks. I know AA helps many and would truly help me, but I’m sitting there in that room knowing that if I don’t drink I’ll endure hellish withdrawals and the local detox place made itself impossible for me to go back to given past experience.
I don’t know. I’m glad I went. I’ll go again. I just can’t see how I get off this hamster wheel right now.
-------------------- “Develop an interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.“ Henry Miller
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Rukus
Big Dog



Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1,224
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 day, 23 hours
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10 weeks today no alcohol
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Double
AB



Registered: 05/03/19
Posts: 862
Loc:
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Well done Rukus! I'm happy for you & all the brothers and sisters doing it right now.
It's been 3 days for me, I fucked up. I've been attending my meetings and will continue to go always. I thank God, my higher power, for this gift and I'm grateful that my conviction is strong again.
ODAAT baby
Edited by Double (05/23/24 09:36 PM)
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unam sanctum


Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 6,906
Loc: hay fields
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Double] 2
#28787131 - 05/25/24 07:37 AM (1 month, 1 day ago) |
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9 days, one at a time.
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Rukus
Big Dog



Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1,224
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 day, 23 hours
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Hell ya keep it up guys good job
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Nickoloxious
Forest solivagant


Registered: 06/18/17
Posts: 2,769
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Rukus] 2
#28798393 - 06/03/24 01:09 AM (23 days, 18 hours ago) |
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Checking in here. Third day since my last drink & I can confidently say that I'm done for good. Though it took me reaching a crisis to realize that I need to change a lot of things and stop using alcohol & drugs in general as a method to block out stress and dissatisfaction with aspects of my life. Instead, I need to face up to these problems and take action instead of bottling and suppressing everything until it all comes to a point where I cross a line.
I've always had an issue of having a fondness for alcohol. I'd say that most of the time the way I drink was not like a heavy alcoholic in the sense that I could easily stop when I reached the point of getting tipsy after a few. As I really dislike being too drunk. But the frequency had basically been almost daily & has always been a health concern of mine. However, whenever I experienced moments of turbulence or discontent in my life my ability to hold a level of self-control with the amount that I drank would occasionally slip & I'd have moments of drinking to the last drop. which almost always ended in regretful & sometimes dangerous situations. So, in saying that I certainly have alcoholic tendencies.
Last Friday I basically had one of those episodes. The details will be a story for another day. But the stakes were very high. I could have lost or ruined my life. I could have accidentally ruined or taken a life of another & as a result damage the lives of many more. But somehow, I managed to get though the other side unscathed, and more importantly didn't harm anyone else. But unfortunately, I had some vulgar emotional outbursts towards some colleagues. Though it seems as though it's all water under the bridge now. Nevertheless, it has instilled a great sense of fear and shame within me. Some tears were shed, serious rumination occurred over the following days. But in a way I think it needed to happen as I now have come to the realization that I have to take control of my own destiny and stop living life in complacent way and flat out try to ignore any grievances that I may have. Pacifying my problems via drinking only serves to hurt myself in exchange for temporary comfort. I've seriously had enough, I feel to my core that this newfound aversion towards alcohol is here to stay. I'm determined now more than ever to address these personal shortcomings even if they may be uncomfortable or hard to face. So, I can finally start growing as a person. I have no other option.
Will be checking in here from time to time, to ensure I stay on the wagon. At the moment I'm just glad to have finally taken a serious attitude towards quitting this longstanding vice.
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Mystikal
Arranger



Registered: 11/13/21
Posts: 1,577
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 day, 41 minutes
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1000 days alcohol free! I was a real bottom of the barrel drunkard who drank heavily everyday for 15 years. If I can do it, you can do it.
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Nickoloxious
Forest solivagant


Registered: 06/18/17
Posts: 2,769
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Mystikal]
#28803361 - 06/06/24 11:54 PM (19 days, 19 hours ago) |
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Glad to hear that you've pulled yourself out of that situation.  It's been a week for me so far. Still adjusting myself to the lifestyle change. Though I'm certain that I'll never go back to how things were before.
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