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Karma puppet Registered: 04/09/22 Posts: 978 Loc: ๐ธ |
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![]() This is a report from Friday night. One of chowing down on a bunch of black capsules from a tiny jam jar, getting into a bit of the ol' mushroom mischief and ultimately, being folded up into the void like a bit of interdimensional oragami. PRETRIP 9 'Double Zero'sized capsules totalling 4.5 grams of Psilocybe Semilanceata AKA liberty caps sat portioned out in a jam jar. I'll admit they could have looked unassuming serperated from their usual tall, stringy, spooky form- but I knew of the power in those caps. I've always considered P.Semilanceata to be a different beast than anything else I've tried, psychedelic wise. Not just the strength, many other attributes of the lib experience just stand apart for me- some easy to pinpoint like a difference in body sensations with an often energised, euphoric, phenethylamine style feeling. Some not too easy to pin point, like unique headspace and visual acuity compared to and combined with some other species offerings. ![]() They're wild, tough and fucking amazing. Love to hunt 'em, LOVE to eat 'em. I'd tidied my space, fasted since before lunch and sorted my listening material for the trip- the last part of the day spent just listening to music, talking and doing a bit of drawing Around 7:30pm I said goodnight to my GF and headed into the livingroom for some meditation, ritual, excercise and general pregame for a good trip. I begun by putting on the soundscape I'd compiled, some tuned cave water droplets over some wind noise, rain and ambient drones. It was mixed so the volume of each element would alter randomly over time, having the soundscape shift & evolve. After a bit of excercise to get the blood pumping, I turned off the lamp and lit a few candles, setting my alter space up with various stuff; a small brass statue of Avalokiteshvara, the jar of libs, my mala & I Ching coins, my grinder, some incense, a Thangkta hanging in front etc. I packed up and toked on a nice vape of indica, then, from here until around 10:00pm I alternated between rituals to help prepare me and my surroundings- as well as some to set my desired intention for the upcoming trip, some thanking intelligences that are important to me, excercise to stretch out a lot before tripping and meditating to hopefully go into it with a calm & focused mind. It's how I've started some of my best trips of the last few years, a routine that seems to work for me. ![]() My intent this time was more or less around being immersed in the character of the liberty cap, experiencing it fully and going far out with what it could show me. Surrendering into something that would reaffirm & strike up my curiousity around the psychedelic experience. I knew 3g+ of P.Semilanceta could be wild, so I had some ideas about roughly what I may be in for with 4.5g... TRIP BEGINS When 10pm did roll around, and I felt pretty good about how things were going, I went to the kitchen and swallowed the 9 capsules few by few while eating a small chopped red pepper. Knowing I was now 'in for it' got me excited for a deep trip, but there was also the usual preflight jitters that can come with it, so I finished up doing all my stuff. I cast some coins for an I Ching reading and recorded the resultant hexagrams in a notebook. I would get on with the rest of it after the trip. Something about shifting consciousness and the idea of being between worlds, between time, speaks well to divination so I wanted to snapshot the developing atmosphere with the question posed. I set my intention a final time and lay down on the couch with my headphones on- trying in vain to focus fully on my breath rather than trying to examine my level of sobriety too closely. After listening and breathing for a while, I got restless and decide to do something else to get the trip going a bit. So I grab my laptop, fire up 'Samsara' lay back on the couch and pack a bowl in my vape. Watching the film on mute with my headphones still playing the randomising soundscape there are moments where the scenes on screen are matching with the audio really well, and coupled with a nice vape of indica I could not complain at all in that moment. A nice choice, too 'Samsara': with its lack of dialogue and linear story etc- I seen it mentioned in a thread last week after having totally forgotten about it as well as a deliciously trippy viewing of it on LSD several years ago. It's full of textures & colours, beaut camera work, easy to follow, thought stimulating and is just a good shout for psychedelic viewing, IMO. Anyway, I exhale, and through a cloud of piney steam, the scene of monks making a big sand mandala plays. This is the first sign that the shroom capsules are digesting, because the synergy with weed makes the coloured sand so rich and vibrant- their glow seeming to seep out from beyond the screen slightly and into the air in front of me. The weed seems to hit instantly and I decided to turn it off around 204c*, ripping it a few more times so as not to waste what vapour has been produced. By the time scenes of the houses filled with sand (so will have been around 47 minutes since having the mushrooms) there is a definite tryptamine buzz beginning to run its circuit through my body, spreading far & taking root in the farthest reaches on my nervous system. I feel excited and slightly energised but have not desire to move from the couch yet. Focused on the screen and my breath to get past the disorientation between coming up and tripping balls, my thoughts seem to rush by in the background at breakneck speed- but I'm just enjoying the film. The back of my head pulses with pleasurable, twitchy static and my breathing feels somehow weird, fuzzy and hot "Maybe I'm just more aware of the vape." I thought to myself. What appears to be hurricaine aftermath takes centre screen- a house having been droped on a sedan with the bent car and bowed out, destroyed house taking on comically skewed proportions along with the camera pan. Ok... Definitely tripping a decent amount now... Finding it harder & harder to concentrate on the film, a single tuned cave droplet in my headphones seems to have grown its own reverb tail and plops resonantly onto its fiction floor- sending a fading ripple through my head. The buzz is really picking up HEAVY momentum and I'm full of liquid motion despite lying down. By the time scenes of deep glowing orange tunnels carved into sand and stone over unfathomable time is being shown (1 hour post ingestion) I'm beginning to really resist the film, opting to turn my laptop off. Crouched over, looking at a few bits of crystal and whatnot through a jewelers loop is intense and intriguing but my hand was quite shaky and full of energy so quite often I felt I was just shaking the lense around vaguely next to rocks and plants. I try to read a 'Planet Earth III' book I had lying around but despite getting amazed by some pictures, I feel restless in my attempts to interface with the book. I'm becoming more alien, I feel, when compared to my environment. Stretching, lifting weights & listening to headphones brings a relief to electrical bodyload and a bit of focus, as well as the excercise seeming to kick the trip in even more. I eye up my vape for a refill, deciding against it and soon it's clear I should just return to sanctuary behind my eyemask. The headphones also get ditched here as I decide to raw ear it to the air and allow myself to fully experience the growing intensity of the trip with no sensory distractions. As soon as it's pulled over my eyes, there are echoes of CEVs whisping into the darkened visual space, small sparks and suggestions of shapes that never stick around long enough to be identified as anything in particular, my body feels light, vibrating at the edges in a cyclical fashion: peaks where I feel made enitrely of crackling static and troughs where I feel made of barely anything at all. Like a lightning flash, there's a sudden epic sense of clarity & vastness to my thoughts, like having some neural limiter removed or something and I'm surfing thoughts all over the place. ![]() My mind flies free, mulling over various ideas in the good mushroomy way, threads form between previously unresolved thought processes, pennies drop and await rediscovery. I can imagine the spirit of the mushroom manifesting as a whispy flourescent grey mist, rising from the small jar on the alter like a genie, swirling around in the darkness and pulling in small coloured particles representing my intent from the room around it, the sigil etc and that the Semilanceata was integrating it all to make sense of what environment it had found itsself in. I'd just finished 'Entangled Life' recently and have been studying a lot about fungi, so while this went on, metaphor laden visions of a fungal nature filled my imagination, stuff like a self printing hyphae pushing through boulderous soil propelled by the unseen force of water pressure, ribbed Geiger-esque rhizomorphs stretch out on a quest for nutrition, fruits springing triumphantly out into the open from vast powerplants of electrically sparking myc deep, deep underground. By now my whole body is periodically engulfed by a roaming static wave, beginning at different points as I assumed the mushroom enmeshed its self in me, its brain zappy aspect had the base of my skull/ back of my neck lit up as some hub for sending and recieving this electricity, overall pretty enjoyable- if sometimes intense. This gave eise to a feeling of being connected to something beyond my body, being a node in some unseen network. COmbined with those physical sensations, that thought brought a kind of warming spiritual ecstasy, even writing about it on Sunday it's easy to bring back. Then I heard a bang. This was a room sound, I could tell. I pulled off my eyemask and sat upright, amazed that the entirety of the wall facing me warped and stretched along with the flicker of candle flames, while its soft glow of orange and yellow suggested everything about warmth in an instant. Sitting lost in thought & mesmerised for some moments and forgetting about the noise, the familiar tryptamine sounds fill my aural field- zaps and buzzes orbit my head which I percieve with weirdly accute spacial awareness and I decide it's time to put the candles out, in case a cat knocks one over or something. Walking over to snuff the flames is no mean feat but I manage to get up and less that a step into my journey, I'm distracted. On the table on a small cloth, is some bits and bobs including the Hieronymus Bosch tarot deck my GF had left out for me- I'd shuffled the deck & pulled 2 cards back along with my I Ching reading. The cards silver leafed/blue edge glinted enticingly, drawing me to flip them over and take a look. By candlelight and well in the throes of a 4.5g lib trip are the absolute ideal circumstances to view this deck. It's berserk: full of fruits with bird heads sprouting human legs for mobility, abstract nightmare buildings in ideallic nature, grisly pale figures looming around doorframes and other twisted scenes full of intruiging suggestion and weird imagery. Examining and considering them briefly, I've soon had enough of their jank and return them face down. ![]() Right as I went to sit down, one of my cats has just finished shitting a hellacious offering which visciously assualts my nostrils - her frantic scratching of the litter does the same to my ears, cutting through my personal symphony of tinnitus and tryptozaps. I make for the door and immediately am forced to adopt a lower centre of gravity, tripoding my way along the carpet with my legs and arm to make it to the kitchen without falling to one side. Inexplicable black surfaces lunge inconsiderately at me out of the hallway darkness and I can't make sense of which axis the lightswitch should be on, I fumble for what seems like ages, swiping & slapping at some of the surfaces to no avail. Miraculously, I manage to grab a poo bag from a drawer and the scoop before struggling briefly in process of getting rid of the shit. PEAKING It was an exausting adventure and as I return to the candle lit livingroom, just before reaching the precious couch, my already fully shroomy vision (sort of flowing, feathered fine texturing which warps whatever it runs over, OEV tryptamine type stuff) starts to pixelate and drop away in big pieces right at the edges- like crumbling, wet sand. It was a "Whoooaaaah." moment for definite. ![]() Where the sand had fallen away was indescernable, like fine static or blank void space. It looked absolutely incredible. Gotta lie back down... Keeping one arm anchored to the couch, I snuff the candles and lurch back to safety, pulling the blanket up, and breathed a long sigh of relief. A slight, building nausea develops and I'm acutely aware of my digestion- the turning stomach is in full HD 4K Surround Sound and its bubbling depths are like some mushroomy LaBrea Tar Pits with the odd bit of pepper surfacing from time to time. It's grotesque. I try not to think about it. Internally, I remember saying something like "I accept you mushroom. I love all mushrooms. I want to learn from you. I allow you to work through my entirety for the duration. Thank you for all you provide." my stomach churned and I imagine the powdered Libs forming a unified mat and slowly creeping through the wall of my stomach, conglomerating and spreading fast with view toward bodily domination-I imagine the mushroom was breaking me down the way its mycelium breaks matter down. Or maybe, there was a chance I picked some undiscovered Lib lookalike packed full of death, meaning it's actually mycotoxins dissolving my kidneys & liver and what I'm feeling is the liquifaction of my organs? ![]() Surely not- that seemed even less likely than the animated lib sludge hypothesis- only surpassed in unlikelihood by the idea that my having not eaten most of the day might have any bearing on the situation. So of the 3 options in play, I decide my feeling janky is because I'm becoming host to some mushroom spirit, which I'm totally OK with and technically asked for. But even with the acceptance, a seed of dread had been sown, biding its time until I'm fully softened before making its assault... One bizarre & funny thing I remember from around that section of the trip, was that I get the idea Asante was in the room somehow (in astral form, of course lol I reckon it is because of something I'd seen in a thread that morning) Soon after, I imagined an image of his 'Nkondi'(sp?) protector/spirit idol and through the tryptastastic I hallucinated a scream- like a scream you'd do to scare someone than if you were scared yourself, a "BAH!"- followed by a trailling echoey laugh. ![]() By this point in the trip (I would wager maybe 3 hours from ingestion, but it's tough to tell) I'm rapidly losing my sense of self. With eyes closed, the world is 2 or 3 shades of black, sometimes the darkest black spots would become so saturated they'd turn somehow into coloured sparks of varying intensity. The vibe of being in a foundary of the imagination. Gorgeous bright CEVs begin fade into frame shyly from the periphery of the closed eye space, taking on intricate fractal, geometric forms. I say fractal after the fact(al)- they weren't so readily definable- but certainly each evolved from a central spinning point before flinging long arms of colourful, trailing mirror-images out into the slowly undulating 'black on darker black' geometric backdrop of the field. They flash up- then flash out, their dance over in such short time before disintegrating. Some of the brighter ones bring the buzz orbiting my head into clashing disarray, the colour and sound becoming an all encompassing singular experience. Beautiful. ![]() Rinse and repeat. Maybe this is what it's actually always been like? Seems probable. When aware, I'm drifting among thoughts plucked from a seemingly infinite library of archive archetypal snippets; emotions, mind movies. No solid concept of time or space, just the sense of seeing and being actors actings in comedy, experiences, tragedy, tactile sensations, romance, still images, fear, nature, mortality, decomposition, birth, evolution, decay, creation, destruction, heirarchy, love- you get the picture. It was all very subtle in a way yet my full (but fractured) attention was demanded, flickering relentlessly between clarity and utter confusion. Finally, after this building and receeding drama has been played out enough times, I feel my body for the first time in a long time- it having been erased from the edges inward, repeatedly. Noticing that my shit's all fucked up, I loosen my limbs which had been held tense and wriggle about a bit in my nest to dispel a sort of acidic restless feeling in me. My eyes feel like they're going to buzz out of the sockets, face in general feels like a hotbed of electrical activity. I relax and gaze up at the warped, dark ceiling and enjoy taking in some deep breaths as well as managing to reach a sip of water from my bottle next to the couch. Thinking back now, it didn't seem long at all before another wave of psychedelic mayhem would cast me back out into the depths. One minute I'm relatively conscious of where I am and whats going on- quite normal. Then all of a sudden I'm constricted. Like I'm being forcefully vacuum-packed, I feel all my tissue gradually pulled tighlty inward, presumably by mushroom material contracting, I had decided. Ears ringing louder than ever, I vaguely feel my whole body as being dessicated and wrinkled, as a weird vac-packed mummy type article laid flat on my couch. Then I got folded up and fell inward into my own chest. This section is so hard to remember, or I don't have much memory of it all. I remember the folding part because there was a fucking bizarre and real sense of 'squaring off, folding and falling in' that happened. Sort of like when Woody falls through the cards in Toy Story but into myself. ![]() ![]() ![]() Besides a sort of humming noise instead of common tinnitus, I could only say I was in a void type space. In meditation sometimes, when fully relaxed and into some state of being absorbed into a really peaceful feeling of awareness and space but theres a dreamy sense of subtlty to it. That if you pay attention to it fully or 'lean into it' too much it goes away and you snap out of it. You truly have to submit and keep relaxed focus in an intuitive way, it's really hard to put into words. The difference here was that it wasn't as subtle and a lot more like having been put in the state, rather than reaching it. Hard to describe. But there was an idea of peace, nothing sinister or fearful rather a dreamy relaxation and dissociated fading in and out of it. Also one of familiarity, the place/ mental state is alike to so many things but hard to pinpoint. Barely any visual recollection of this stage, all 'black' but every once in a while before I'd come back to the room I'd briefly see some form of the multiarmed coloured fractal type spinners briefly do its thing. ![]() For someone looking to dive in and enjoy psychedelic effects, it was undeniably a treat. But still, in one confused moment I feared that any one of these times I would come back round to being awake in a hospital bed or something instead of on the couch, tripping. That time would have passed and having to be told what had happened to lead to that point. Was pretty spooky. So I assume at this stage it had been up to 4 hours since ingestion (1 hour coming up so maybe 3 hours into actual tripping? Not long after this I remember asking my GF the time and by then, it was 1:58) and things were still very, VERY rowdy! Sometimes there was a general falling away of reality, the room breaking into a transitional animation type deal- as with the sand thing earlier- or tunnel visiony static interludes leading to the blackout type place, but other times it was like I'd just realised I was 'aware' and I'd be gone again. I was full of the spirit of the libery cap, and no doubt, I was getting the deep psychedelic journey I'd asked for. When back in my own awareness and realising what had just happened each time, and despite a pervading sense of serenity & awe at the void type space I had been in, I still got spooked and anxious from the lack of control, I became convinced that somewhere while phasing into the dreamier space, that my physical body could be up to anything! Who knows what I am/ have been/ or will get up to! The ape will take the wheel. ![]() So began that internal melodrama. It's rarely a concern on trips, but this time I accidently bought into it, certain that some moment I would phase back out and wreak lunatic havoc through my house, or worse yet- escape into the neighbourhood on a Saturday morning and go on a rampage of unknown classification! As I phased back at one point, I felt highly strung from anxiety and felt as though my awareness was in multple places at one, as if split and spread through the room and beyond. My thoughts were interuppted by something as clear as any visual I've ever had in my life: I was presented with a single phrase in my closed eye visual field. FREAK OUT! It was clear, it was brief- and it was in fucking birthday writing! ![]() Like, the font of a kids birthday banner. A brief moment of chaos, confusion, speed- a whoosh of visual elements, little confetti-esque fireworks and a big red bouncy ball. It was so fucking inexplicably weird. This red ball coming out of sparks before turning into confetti/ firework/ ribbons and spawning the birthday looking instruction to: FREAK OUT! I tried to recreate it. When I stopped submitting to the experience (as if it was through choice lol...) I'd start to panic a bit and my thoughts were going all over the place. I decided that, yes- I have in fact gone crazy, the idea about the neighbourhood rampage- I remember- caused a now funny delusion themed loosely on an idea that the Mac Demarco song 'Freaking out the Neighbourhood' was about mushroom hysteria and that this exact situation happened quite often. That I had unwittingly fallen into a common trap, one of many victims of a classic ruse laid out by mother nature. There was an idea of fair play. ![]() It was palpably crazy even in the moment, but it was like a really convincing and well presented cognative hallucination. Rather than being 100% true, it seemed to prompt my action into finding OUT whether it was true first... Batshit, one of many theories able to be filed under that heading. My breath ragged a bit as I tried to keep it under wraps- I suppose I've breathed in lead paint dust, I have been doing rennovation & decorating lately and maybe a sanding session let a bunch through the mask! A family members dog had been having puppies, and for some reason I realised I had gone crazy- poentially unrelated to the dust, and the dog was having puppies to make me remember my love for animals, thus snapping me back into my normal, not that crazy self. All I knew was I was freaked out about something, and I was gonna get to the bottom of it. Seems obvious now that this was the trap. ![]() I worried that, for unknown reasons- probably to do with some sort of global conflict- it seemed, there had been some malicious chemical put into food I recently consumed, therefore it had gone into my loved ones foods too! We're ALL going crazy- from food! ![]() I couldn't believe it! I slid off the couch and crawled through the darkness, feeling my way along on the arduous less-than-2-metre quest back to the bedroom. Along the way, I shed the weight of my shirt and 1 sock. Arriving in the promised land, I announce my return to the room to a deaf audience. I slid into bed. The relief of making it to my desitnation, has me lying there for a little bit, still phasing in and out, but a lot less than before. A bit more lucid of it going on, maybe. Eventually, I continue my quest. "Babe." I whisper a few times to my girlfriend. Nothing. The rooms darkness creeps and shifts subtley across the surfaces. Black on black Zebra. I shake her a bit. "HEY?! BABE?" I briefly think she's dead, there had been some mistake with her medication and not only had I failed her by failing to notice- I was in the bed with a corpse. I had totally forgotten about the fears of a rampage, the food poisoning and all other theories as to the true root of my anxious feeling. She sits up and turns on the orange LEDs on the headboard. Thank fuck. PLATEU "Are you ok?"she asks, and as she rubs her eye, it smudges her face up and displaces the other features in Picasso fashion. I feel like a ball of electricity now that I'm seeing light, the whole rooms dimensions are way, WAY off. "I thought you had died. I thought something was going on..." Relieved but still not quite at ease I pluck up the courage to get some answers. "Am I freaking out?" I (allegedly I was whispering very quietly) whisper. "What did you ask?" "I asked you if I've been freaking out." "What? Are you freaking out?" she tiredly replied. What the fuck!"You're FREAKING OUT?!" I ask her, so confused. "No, are you freaking out, you mean?" "Oh... I think so, yeah. I think I've gone crazy." "Oh no. I don't think so- you did take mushrooms remember. So you'll only feel like this until they've worn off. You don't seem too crazy either, you're just whispering and really high." "Rigggghhhtt....." I rasp at her like a timid, saucer eyed, dry mouthed goblin. "..well I haven't been out of control, have I?" "No, I don't think so." Oh God... I realised what the problem was. I pull my hand back from touching my face. I'm not sure I want to know the answer to this one. "I haven't... Been cutting off my face?" In that instant,her face warps about and briefly settles on becoming a cleanshaven version of my own face. She chuckled a bit, but I noticed a change in her eyes when she sees I'm serious. "Nope. Turn your head? No, it all looks good to me. You want to watch some Neebs with me?" "I haven't been in a hospital?" "No." "Well yeah, we can watch Neebs. But ehh... I haven't been freaking out have I?" Even still, my mind feeding me more and more scenarios as to why I feel this way, some really dark and since I'm once again able to cast judgment on how likely or valid they may be, they start to pass by with decreasing impact. I realise it was the anxiety itsself, the reasons all appeared like hypothetical simulations from my brain to explain the cause of the feeling. It wasn't helping and all of a sudden I felt a bit more in the drivers seat, able to attatch myself to the thoughts less and less. There was still a bit of feeling concerned that I'd phase out of the drivers seat of my body again. It went on a little like that for a while, by now half-whispering weird fucking questions that were about 1/100th as weird as the thoughts I was wrangling. "I think... I think I've been going crazy." I can only assume how it is to be woken up like this lol, I'm lucky she always puts up with this shit, ultimately she finds it amusing, or so I'm told... She managed to convince me that I wasn't going crazy or anything of that nature, that I was really high, that it was good to see me and I actually looked like I was having a good time. I speak fully aloud in triumph: "I'M OK! I think I've been having a good time!" I begin to laugh, she starts laughing too- what a fucking relief dude. Here I was, some guy thinking he's going crazy- when in fact, he's having a good time. Not the first time I've been in pretty much this situatiom and I'm so relieved. Her tired, stoned expression and bouncing hair- mostly still tucked up into a black sleepcap- makes her look like the Rasta Jellyfish from 'Sharks Tale' which makes me laugh even more. "Neebs just loves pop music, man." I remark about something in the video. She agrees and does an impression of the bad song rendition. Any thoughts of negativity have been completely bypassed now. I feel a visceral, intense love for & from her. On talking about love, she points out my cats, 2 of which have woken up. They looked weird and a wobbly heat haze look was coming off them. One yawns, stretchs and walks over tiredly. I feel like: ![]() This little glorious creature with wildly textured fur comes up and plops its self down on my legs, her purr mixing with my electricity. I feel borderline psychically connected to cats on shrooms, it's wild. I love them. Cats that is. Well, cats AND shrooms. ![]() ![]() My GF helps me get a bowl of honey Cheerios with minimum carnage, which then proceed to defy all laws of flavour an nourishment. Food of the Gods. Standout and absolutely blissful. I become more human with every bite and donate a generous amount of milk to my beard in the process. We watch a few episodes worth of a Neebs gaming ARK Ragnarok Supercut and chat for a little while. By then I've entirely reentered my body and the visuals, sensations & overall experience mindset points toward the idea I'm defintely more toward the come down end of the plateu. A lot more grounded feeling- but tripping a decent amount, undoubtedly. I feel a sense of achievement and peace at having not gotten too carried away with, or fully sucked into any of my minds trickery. This came with some realisations around anxiety that I've been seeing aspects of in quite a few recent trips, and am grateful for. It's just before 4:00am and she says she's going to get some sleep, if I'm ok to be left to my own devices. I feel pretty chill so agree, heading to the kitchen to return my empty cereal bowl. COMEDOWN Still pretty wired, I don't lie in bed long and before I know it, I've got my head laying on the kitchen counter, jaw hanging open as I look out at stars; stars which- despite their supposedly fixed cosmic locations- slowly drift around one another and pulse against the black blue fade of the deep morning sky. I had the revelation I could view the same sky, on a beanbag, in the livingroom. ![]() So I do that, grabbing my vape on the way to see if there was any life in the bowl from earlier, rather than bother to pack a fresh one. There was plenty life in it and I end up sitting on the beanbag, toking the rest of it and eating some Dorittos/ another pepper while looking out at the stars. I'd also managed to track my phone (still safely in airplane mode, lest I text an aquaintance to find out whether or not I'm going crazy) down and put on some 'Here and Now with Ram Dass' podcast, an episode appropriately titled: Don't Forget the breath. In the intro, Raghu Markus' voice was all draggy and pitched like a damaged tape. This leads me to remark there have been some cool aural hallucinations tonight. I sat like this, soaking up the talks and gazing at the stars, at peace & totally loving it for a long while and by 5:40am- 7 & a bit hours after ingestion- I was practially baseline, so headed to bed to a brief but quite restful sleep. The following morning, I woke up in an immense afterglow. I got up & ready, fed the cats, made some dank coffee and good breakfast and started the day still dumbfounded by the type of trip you forget about until you return to it. Looking over my I Ching reading, it seemed full of juicy angles for me to get explore later on, which is promising and reaffirms my belief in the efficacy of consulting such things at this sort of time. I spoke to my GF about the Tarot stuff (she knows way more than me on the subject) over breakfast. I showed her a few photos of my melted, shocked face I must've taken at some point and we laughed about it. I can't post without doxxing myself but the photos had me looking more like a creation from the Ergotism addled mind of a fevered Hieronymus Bosch, than the human I'm used to seeing lol. Enough to make anyone FREAK OUT! Writing this on Sunday, I still feel fucking great. I'm grateful of my life, its trajectory and am still very much in awe of this 9/10 trip. ![]() Until next time.
-------------------- ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ
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irregular verb Registered: 04/08/04 Posts: 38,499 |
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great write up, so much detail - do you have a dictaphone or something -
I guess checking if you are insane is a good idea, most of us have no idea how deluded they are, but if your GF thinks you are fine, you are better than fine for now.
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Psssssst! Registered: 09/13/20 Posts: 1,136 |
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Checked what's new on the shroomery during my lunch break and got rewarded! I only got half way through, but really enjoyed it so far Lithop.
Seems like you had a really good time (At least so far). ![]() Looking forward to read the rest tonight! Edit: ...the rest of the story was even better. Happens rarely that something keeps my attention for so long (and makes me chuckle here and there), but this was well written and carved out! Thanks for sharing mate. -------------------- Hokus Pokus Fidibus! Edited by Fridgedoor (02/05/24 07:40 AM)
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Wonderer Registered: 11/01/13 Posts: 518 Last seen: 4 hours, 48 minutes |
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Nice trip report. I also get that weird feeling that you described of Woody falling into the stack of cards, but only it was falling into myself. Also a weird vibratory buzzing noise... not sure what that's about.
-------------------- Chopin in Eternal Sonata: "I believe that I am somehow being tested. That I am on this journey to come to some realization. And in order to do so, I think Iโm supposed to live my life to the fullest, even if it is in this muddled world of dream and reality."
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irregular verb Registered: 04/08/04 Posts: 38,499 |
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I get that noise too, but I also get it during meditation. I think it is what happens when my tinnitus becomes frame stacked (overlapped and time warped)
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Karma puppet Registered: 04/09/22 Posts: 978 Loc: ๐ธ |
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Quote: Thanks RGV! No dictaphone, not for trip report use anyway. Morning after a trip, usually grab a notebook & write up section titles or timestamps like "COME UP- SAMSARA, FLOPPY CAR" and "PEAKING- ANXIETY, FOLDED TO VOID" then- if writing up a report- I just put last nights music on, it becomes easy to remember. I think I do have really good recall for stuff; I could likely tell you the first conversation we had, what I was doing after I shut my laptop off afterward (waheeeey) what music was on, what I made for dinner etc. Takes some initial prompting then it's just a cascade IE the floodgates open, like 'showing your workings' in maths. However, I also understand the fallability of memory and whathaveyou- all that to say I'm not in the business of purposefully exagerating my memories or experiences, there's no fun to that. ![]() (Not to suggest that there was anything doubting or accusatory about your dictaphone enquiry- thats all me, baby!) Quote: Haha yeah- nice to get a second opinion from time to time... And well said mate, glad to say I feel way better than fine, that's for sure! Definitely been left with a deep & palpable sense of gratitude from this one. (got some questions for you later in post) Quote: Ayyy cheers Fridge- appreciate you reading and your input. It was an absolute banger of an experience! I try not to get overly attached to what goes on, but I'm still caught thinking about loads of confusing or wild shit that went on haha. ![]() ![]() Quote: Gracias Solar- I checked in on your other thread to see how you're feeling post trip. Yeah, the falling thing feels wild as fuck! Like being an old CRT TV getting switched off haha. Interesting and I've been thinking about it in regards to what you and RGV are saying, will get to it in a moment. Quote: First off, seems time to pull this ol' thang back out: ![]() Right so first the stacking: do you (anyone feel free to chime in) reckon that physical sensations, like an initial feeling of falling or balance loss- which when sober might arise from nearly leaning too far back on your chair, and you get that rush of springing into action to right yourself- becomes stacked creating an overall more intense & markedly different experience than a 'one and done' idea of falling? Then my brain created a narrative experience of what was happening from a combination of that and other combined inputs? So basically, a novel experience borne from frame stacking of physical input perception? ![]() ![]() And the tinnitus thing- yeah I'm a moderate to severe tinnitus guy too and it goes fucky on psychs & to lesser degrees during meditation. There's the typical tinntus, which the psychedelic will pitch, warp and skew before transforming the sine into all sorts, IME. But theres also a kind of, head orbiting, zapping type ring- that in some sense seems joined to the whole nervous system. Like, some of the zaps line up and your whole body jolts a bit cos you got zapped... This feels different than my tinnitus- which has no bodily connotations outside of the ear/jaw for me- in that it can quite often feel linked to all sorts of other stuff happening in your field of spacial awareness. Lol, this all feels so hard to describe legitly. ![]() Whats going on, do you think, with those who don't have daily tinnitus, yet still experience & explain a consistant description of tryptozaps and various psychedelic or DMT noises? Is it thought to be our heightened awareness picking up on usually ignored internal workings- blood rushing through the ears with increased BP on psychedelics or something, ultimately being misinterpreted into weird sounds? Or something else entirely?
-------------------- ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ
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Psssssst! Registered: 09/13/20 Posts: 1,136 |
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Quote: There's something DMT enthusiasts call the carrier wave. I've experienced it many times, also on strong mushroom experiences, but especially with DMT. Below you'll find a quote from the hyperspace lexicon which they compiled on the nexus. Quote: -------------------- Hokus Pokus Fidibus!
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irregular verb Registered: 04/08/04 Posts: 38,499 |
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vision is pretty easy to begin to analyze endlessly, because there it is, pixels or cortical neurons or some kind of array in 2d with content that can be affected in an understandable way.
so when frame stacking images, it's like layering them together, and sure, my avatar here is an experienced salvia frame stack of myself drawn with crayons. it was how I felt and how I saw myself. but hearing is different, all we really hear in 1/10th of a second is a small envelope of sound, some pitch, some overtones, etc. so for hearing there is a tight coupling with time series buffering so as to capture cadence, rhythm, phonemes etc. This stacks in a different way than images when stoned, because our hearing is already a time based cluster of mental constructs; constructs so real that you can dance to them, and so real that you can play instruments. anyway, when hearing gets frame stacked, we get a mix of cadence & phoneme & rhythmic effects. for me it's often Tszt tszt tszt... filling an otherwise quiet room
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Karma puppet Registered: 04/09/22 Posts: 978 Loc: ๐ธ |
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Quote: Cheers mate, I'll look into it a bit more! I've read a lot of this stuff and despite considering myself reasonably versed in psychs, I've been coming up against more of this sort of stuff, more frequently on higher dose trips and finding it really interestin to experience. I'll hop back over the nexus some time and have a read of that hyperspace lexicon. ![]() Quote: Haha, love the avatar dude. Origins story adds to the charm of it. Again, it's very interesting- thanks man. I think that's something about the wonder of music. Although visual art can be astounding, there's something wild about how sound works and comes together into music. Loved the bit I bolded- if you haven't seen it you really ought to check out the Pixar flick 'Soul', some great stuff around Jazz and being in the zone. Yes, the TZZT TZZT TZZT for me is what orbits, leads to clangs & physical zappage and what I tentatively refer to as 'tryptozaps'. Thanks again for you input guys, as much as psychedelics are about miles more than the hallucinations- damn if those aren't deeply intriguing and tonnes of fun! -------------------- ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ
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Omnicyclion prophet Registered: 02/06/02 Posts: 87,639 |
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Epic writeup of a profound trip
Quote: I have no knowledge of the event but my Nkondi claims full responsibility. He says it was a friendly visit to push you further, in the right direction.
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Karma puppet Registered: 04/09/22 Posts: 978 Loc: ๐ธ |
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Quote: Yep, I'll certainly remember this one- thanks for the read & input Asante! ![]() Quote: ![]() Interesting! Doubly in that the I Ching/ Tarot reading were cast around a spirit question too, the nature of spirits attatched to my karma at the present time. Must add that it's nice relief, when a 'guard dog'(no disrespectful intent, just analogy) makes itsself known but doesn't bite... *trailling echoey laugh continues ringing out across the infinite void* -------------------- ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ ๐ฌ๏ธ ๐ป โโโ โฎโฎโฎโฎ ๐ โนโคโฟ
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