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Invisiblespinvis
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Registered: 09/15/20
Posts: 586
Re: Agency, Who is the doer? [Re: syncro] * 1
    #28635945 - 01/26/24 05:35 PM (1 day, 2 hours ago)

For Zen, the following book: 'Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy' is highly recommend reading material within this regard.


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OfflineFreedom
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Re: Agency, Who is the doer? [Re: spinvis] * 3
    #28635964 - 01/26/24 05:48 PM (1 day, 1 hour ago)

Quote:

The practice of true reality is simply to sit serenely in silent introspection.
When you have fathomed this you cannot be turned around
by external causes and conditions. This empty, wide open mind is subtly
and correctly illuminating. Spacious and content, without confusion
from inner thoughts of grasping, effectively overcome habitual
behavior and realize the self that is not possessed by emotions. You
must be broad-minded, whole without relying on others. Such
upright independent spirit can begin not to pursue degrading situations.
Here you can rest and become clean, pure, and lucid. Bright
and penetrating, you can immediately return, accord, and respond to
deal with events. Everything is unhindered, clouds gracefully floating
up to the peaks, the moonlight glitteringly flowing down mountain
streams. The entire place is brightly illumined and spiritually transformed,
totally unobstructed and clearly manifesting responsive
interaction like box and lid or arrowpoints [meeting) .? Continuing,
cultivate and nourish yourself to enact maturity and achieve stability.
If you accord everywhere with thorough clarity and cut off sharp corners
without dependence on doctrines, like the white bull or wildcat
[helping to arouse wonder] , you can be called a complete person. So
we hear that this is how one on the way of non-mind acts, but before
realizing non-mind we still have great hardship.




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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Agency, Who is the doer? [Re: spinvis] * 4
    #28636520 - 01/27/24 07:26 AM (12 hours, 9 minutes ago)

"Since samsara and nirvana do not stray from the realm of basic space, they are merely natural expressions of emptiness that have no basis. As well, afflictive emotions have in essence never known existence. There is nothing that serves as their support. They do not come from some fundamental source. And so, solely by resting imperturbably in your natural state, you are freed of their restricting influence. When the essence of awareness is identified as unobstructed, afflictive emotions are naturally freed, pristine in their own place."

I like the use of the terms "afflictive emotions" & "resting imperturbably"

My default mode is to feel perturbed


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Invisiblespinvis
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Registered: 09/15/20
Posts: 586
Re: Agency, Who is the doer? [Re: syncro] * 1
    #28636593 - 01/27/24 08:34 AM (11 hours, 1 minute ago)

Some excerpts with examples from Zen. The author approaches it from a scientific viewpoint, which makes the material a bit dry, very thorough and clear with scientific research incorporated and backing it up.

Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy - CHAPTER ONE  Orientations
Quote:

Subsequently, by stilling the activity of our mind, a state is reached in which time, space, and causation, which constitute the framework of consciousness, drop away. We call this condition “body and mind fallen off.” In ordinary mental activity the cerebral cortex takes the major role, but in this state, apparently, it is hardly active at all. “Body and mind fallen off” may seem to be nothing but a condition of mere being, but this mere being is accompanied by a remarkable mental power, which we may characterize as a condition of extreme wakefulness.
To those who have not experienced it, this description may seem strange, yet the condition really does occur in samadhi. At the time, however, we are not aware of it, because, as we shall explain in chapter 10, there is no reflecting activity of consciousness, and it is thus hard to describe. However, if we were to try to describe it, it would be as an extraordinary mental stillness. In this stillness, or emptiness, the source of all kinds of activity is latent. It is this state that we call pure existence. This, perhaps, is the most simplified form of human existence.
If you catch hold of this state of pure existence, and then come back into the actual world of conscious activity, you will find that Being itself appears transformed. Because of the possibility of this transformation, Being is said to be “veiled in darkness” to the eyes of those who have not experienced pure existence. When mature in the practice of zazen, Being is seen with one’s own eyes. Or, as it is said in the sutras, “The Tathagata sees Buddha Nature with his naked eyes.”



Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy - CHAPTER THREE  The Physiology of Attention
Quote:

This inhibition can be sustained as long as the breath is kept stopped or almost stopped. It is true that your eyes are reflecting the images of outside objects clearly, but “perception” does not occur.
No thinking of the hill, no idea of the building or the picture, no mental process concerning things inside or outside your mind will appear. Your eyes will simply reflect the images of outside objects as a mirror reflects them. This simplest mental action may be called “pure sensation.” William James, in his classic study of psychology, depicts this pure sensation as follows: “Sensation distinguished from Perception.—It is impossible rigorously to define a sensation; and in the actual life of consciousness sensations, popularly so called, and perceptions merge into each other by insensible degrees. All we can say is that what we mean by sensations are FIRST things in the way of consciousness. They are the immediate results upon consciousness of nerve-currents as they enter the brain, and before they have awakened any suggestions or associations with past experience. But it is obvious that such immediate sensations can only be realized in the earliest days of life. They are all but impossible to adults with memories and stores of associations acquired. Prior to all impressions on sense-organs, the brain is plunged in deep sleep and consciousness is practically non-existent.
Even the first weeks after birth are passed in almost unbroken sleep by human infants. It takes a strong message from the sense-organs to break this slumber. In a new-born brain this gives rise to an absolutely pure sensation. But the experience leaves its ‘unimaginable touch’ on the matter of the convolutions, and the next impression which a sense-organ transmits produces a cerebral reaction in which the awakened vestige of the last impression plays its part. Another sort of feeling and a higher grade of cognition are the consequence. ‘Ideas’ about the object mingle with awareness of its mere sensible presence, we name it, class it, compare it, utter propositions concerning it, and the complication of the possible consciousness which an incoming current may arouse, goes on increasing to the end of life. In general, this higher consciousness about things is called Perception, the mere inarticulate feeling of their presence is Sensation, so far as we have it at all. To some degree we seem able to lapse into this inarticulate feeling at moments when our attention is entirely dispersed.”

. . .

In the experiment of one-minute zazen described above, you stopped or almost stopped breathing. The purpose of that was to create tension in the respiratory muscles and so bring about the effect referred to.
The thought-controlling power of the wakefulness center can be regarded as a mental or spiritual power. However, the power is sustained by the stimulation coming from the tension in the respiratory muscles of the abdomen, which do not themselves think, of course, but by their straining permit that power to be generated.
So we may regard these muscles—or the tanden in general—as the root of spiritual power.
The physiology textbook tells us, it is true, that the second cycle is formed between the wakefulness center and the peripheral muscles in general. But we suggest that among the muscles the respiratory ones alone can provide a strong enough stimulus to control thought for any length of time. When you strike a hammer blow, or leap out of a window, no thought occurs in your mind. The momentary tension of the skeletal muscles here presumably generates a strong impulse that is transmitted to the wakefulness center, which it occupies, with consequent inhibition of thoughts. But this inhibition is momentary.
On the other hand, the tension of the respiratory muscles of the abdomen can be maintained in such a way as to take possession of the wakefulness center for a much longer time.



Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy - CHAPTER FOUR  Breathing in Zazen
Quote:

The major muscles of inspiration are the diaphragm, the external intercostals, and a number of small muscles in the neck. The inspiratory muscles cause the pleural cavity to enlarge in two ways.
First, if the lower abdomen is allowed to fill out or inflate, this facilitates the downward movement of the diaphragm, which in turn pulls the bottom of the pleural cavity downward. This is called abdominal respiration. Secondly, the external intercostal muscles and the muscles of the neck combine to lift the front of the thoracic cage, directing the ribs farther forward than previously and thus increasing the depth of the pleural cavity. This may be called thoracic inspiration. In zazen it is exclusively the former method that is used.
This is because the thoracic method elevates the thoracic cage and displaces tension upward, thereby partly depriving the lower abdomen of its internal pressure, while the abdominal method pulls the cavity downward and increases the pressure in the lower abdomen. As we have already emphasized, in zazen, tension and pressure must be kept in the lower part of the abdomen as much as possible, as this brings about both physical and mental stability.
The major muscles of expiration are the abdominals and, to a lesser extent, the internal intercostals. The abdominal muscles cause expiration in two ways. First, they pull downward on the chest cage and reduce its thickness. Secondly, they force the abdominal contents upward against the diaphragm, reducing the length of the thoracic cage. The internal intercostals help in expiration to a small extent by pulling the ribs downward, which also reduces the depth of the thoracic cage.
In zazen, we repeat, the thoracic cage is to be kept as still as possible. Inspiration is performed by inflating the lower abdomen, while expiration is performed by contracting the abdominal muscles.
There is, however, an important difference between the method of expiration in normal breathing and in zazen. In normal abdominal respiration the abdominal muscles are simply contracted, which pushes the viscera upward, causing them to press on the diaphragm, which in turn expels air from the lungs. However, in zazen, the free contraction of the abdominal muscles and their upward pushing movement are opposed by the diaphragm. This produces bated breath.



Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy - CHAPTER FIVE  Counting and Following the Breath
Quote:

COUNTING THE BREATH It is usual to begin the practice of zazen by counting your breaths. There are three ways of doing this:
(1) Count both inhalations and exhalations. When you inhale, count “one” inwardly; when you exhale, count “two,” and so on up to ten. Then return to one again and repeat the process.
Perhaps at first it may be helpful to whisper the count inaudibly, or even audibly. Then, except for occasions when you feel the need for audible counting, concentrate on the counting inwardly, stressing your vocal cords but not making any sound.
(2) Count your exhalations only, from one to ten, and repeat. Let the inhalations pass without counting them.
(3) Count your inhalations only, letting the exhalations pass without counting them.
Of these three, the first method is generally used for the initiation of beginners, the second is recognized as a more advanced step, and the third is somewhat difficult for a beginner but gives good training in inspiration.

. . .

One final word on the topic of counting the breaths. If, after making good progress in zazen, you return to this practice once more, you will find that it leads to the development of an extraordinarily brilliant condition of consciousness. But this is not to be expected in the zazen of beginners. Therefore, the teacher is usually satisfied if his pupil can master just the elements of counting the breaths and will then pass him to another kind of practice. The pupil may suppose that he has finished with this sort of discipline and that he will not have to practice it again, but this is mistaken. Students practicing alone may also revert to counting the breaths from time to time, even though they have gone on to other kinds of exercises.

. . .

Instructions for following the breath are very simple. Follow each inhalation and exhalation with concentrated attention. At the beginning of your exhalation, breathe out naturally, and then when you reach a point near the horizon of breathing, squeeze the respiratory muscles so as nearly to stop breathing. With the epiglottis open, the air remaining in the lungs will almost imperceptibly escape, little by little. At first this escape will be so slight that you may not notice it. But presently it will become noticeable, and as the exhalation goes below the horizon you will find that the air is being pushed out intermittently. If you regulate the escape of air in a methodical manner you will advance more effectively toward samadhi. The longer the exhalation, the sooner you will be there.
However, a very long exhalation must necessarily be followed by short, rather quick respirations, to make good the oxygen deficiency that results. This more rapid respiration need not disturb samadhi, as long as you continue with abdominal breathing. However, if you find such an irregular method of breathing uncongenial, try shorter exhalations. These seem to be used by many Zen students.



Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy - CHAPTER SIX  Working on Mu
Quote:

THE BAMBOO METHOD OF EXHALATION I want to discuss here in detail a method of breathing that we have already touched upon, which to my mind is of great value in zazen and which, to my knowledge, is not described elsewhere in Zen literature. In practice, however, I believe many Zen students must have used this method without being aware of it. It has not been explicitly described before simply because nobody has previously taken the trouble to analyze in detail what he was doing.
The method is to say, in one breath, “Mu . . . Mu . . . Mu . . .” or “Mu-u-u,” with intermittent or wavelike exhalation. We hit upon the name “bamboo method” for this type of exhalation, for just as a bamboo trunk has successive joints or nodes, so exhalation is stopped now and then for a little while, giving short pauses. The length of the intervals and exhalations may be decided according to the length of your breath. The possible variations are too diverse to be described here. I once foolishly tried to give much too detailed a procedure, going so far as to specify for how many seconds the breathing was to be stopped at each pause and how long the exhalations should be. This was a mistake. The method had developed as a result of long practice and thus came quite naturally to me, but to others who tried it such a rigid specification proved altogether too stiff and inflexible, and they found the method too troublesome to adopt.
If you think of trying this method, do it as if you were pushing repeatedly at a closed door that will not open, saying, “Mu-u-u-u-uu.” Then in the course of time your own way of doing this will become more or less established. That method will itself no doubt undergo some modification as your training progresses, and eventually you will find that you have developed your own style.
When we say “wavelike” this refers to a continuous but repeatedly stressed way of exhaling. “Intermittent,” on the other hand, implies rather long intervals between exhalations. When one’s samadhi becomes deeper, exhalation may seem almost stopped for a long while, with only an occasional faint escape of breath and almost imperceptible inhalation. Such variations of breathing appear spontaneously, according to the degree of development of one’s samadhi. With any of these patterns of breathing, however, we generally go down deep into the reserve volume.
Why do we practice this kind of breathing? Once more, the answer is: (1) in order to make the tanden replete with power; and (2) to send repeated stimulation from the tanden to the wakefulness center of the brain, by which means, as we have already discussed (chapter 3), we inhibit the occurrence of thoughts and so bring about absolute samadhi. Consciousness is by nature constituted so as to be always thinking something, and if left to itself it starts daydreaming. These wandering thoughts are quite a natural thing, but one cannot get into samadhi if one’s mind is occupied with them.
The bamboo method of exhaling is nothing more than a device for controlling wandering thoughts. Anyone who has practiced zazen will know how difficult it is to control wandering thoughts. We suggest that if you use the method just described you will find it somewhat easier to bring them under control.



Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy - CHAPTER NINE  Koans
Quote:

THE SOUND OF FIREWOOD TUMBLING DOWN A certain monk suddenly realized his Original Self when he heard the sound of a heap of firewood tumbling down. In the sound he heard all things collapse—delusive thoughts, the habitual way of consciousness—leaving pure existence exposed. But in fact, the collapse had occurred long ago in his absolute samadhi. The realization was only a matter of noticing this for the first time, as if the falling away had taken place just at the moment that he heard the sound of the wood crashing down. The pure existence that made its appearance following the collapse wore a universal aspect; at the same time, it was an event inside himself.
On such an occasion one hears in the sound of the falling wood the noise of the universe collapsing. The monk heard the hills, valleys, woods, and everything go down into the infernal region with a tremendous roar. Many such experiences have been related by Zen students, and there are many examples in Zen literature. These are the stories of kensho. Kensho is an event in positive samadhi, in which consciousness is in touch with the outer world.



Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy - CHAPTER TEN  Three Nen-Actions and One-Eon Nen
Quote:

The impulse to theft, greed, anger, complaint—all make their appearance before one is aware of them. If the reflecting action of consciousness fails to appear and does not recognize them, they will pass unnoticed and sink into the depths of subconsciousness.
However, a nen is an internal pressure of some kind, and if it is not consciously recognized it will remain in the subconscious, unresolved. In this way, some nen will undergo a kind of fermentation and perhaps cause harm to the mind, as we shall explain later.

THE FIRST AND SECOND NEN Let us call the outward-looking action the first nen, and the reflecting action of consciousness the second nen.
The first and the second nen come and go momentarily (Fig. 21),
and when a serial process of thought is occurring the second nen will frequently arise to illuminate the preceding nen, and the two will intermix as if they were entangled with each other. This makes a person feel that, while thinking, he hears a voice within him that knows his thinking and gives advice to him. For instance, while roaring with anger, one may find another voice whispering in one’s ear, “Don’t get angry! You mustn’t lose yourself in a fit of rage!” This persuading voice is comparatively composed, but the first nen is bawling forth, and this is accompanied by an excitement of the entire body. All the nervous system, internal glands, even the circulation of the blood are thrown into a commotion. They are surging waves, like a mob demonstrating outside a public building, crying out, “Our patience is exhausted! It has gone beyond a question of gaining or sing.” Then the other voice will be quietly saying, “No, you should bear it to the best of your ability.” Of course, this is but one example. The first nen will often be quiet humor, the silence of the Himalayas, the mercy of Kannon, or the spiritual power of “silver mountains and iron cliffs.”  THE THIRD NEN The second nen, which illuminates and reflects upon the immediately preceding nen, also does not know anything about itself. What will become aware of it is another reflecting action of consciousness that immediately follows in turn. This action is a further step in self-consciousness. It consolidates the earlier levels.
We shall call it the third nen. This third nen will think, for example, “I know I noticed I had been thinking, ‘It’s fine today.’” Or it may say, “I know I was aware of my knowing that I noticed I had been thinking, ‘It’s fine today.’” For the sake of simplicity we may depict these nen as occurring in the first place in a linear progression, with groups of first, second, and third nen following sequentially (Fig. 22). In our example relating to the weather, we have first the observation, second the awareness of that observation, and third the acknowledgment of ourselves becoming aware of the observation. Subsequent acknowledgments may follow and are all in this context third nen, and thus the sequence becomes: first nen, second nen, third nen, third nen, third nen, and so on.

. . .

In our ordinary life, however, this one-eon nen is manifested, if deluded, as a deluded ego; if angry, as an angry ego; and so on. It is, in fact, no less than the first or the second or the third nen. What is required is the purification of these nen-thoughts, first through absolute samadhi, in which the habitual way of consciousness falls away, and then through positive samadhi—that is, through the socalled cultivation of Holy Buddhahood (see chapter 17)—in which a reconstruction of consciousness is carried out.



Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy - CHAPTER TWELVE  Laughter and Zen
Quote:

INTERNAL PRESSURE AND LAUGHTER The connection between laughter and Zen arises in this way. Zen is largely a matter of how to deal with one’s internal pressure. Laughter, too, is a means of liberating internal pressure. Internal pressure comes from nen. We have already discussed nen at some length in chapter 10, but some additional explanation may be helpful. Nen (or nen-thought) is a term with many meanings. It may mean a fragmentary thought or a flash of thought. We hear a crash behind us and react by looking back.
This is a reflex movement in which, it is generally believed, there is no thought. But in fact, at the moment of looking back a certain action of the mind is stirring in us. Something that asks, “What is the matter?” makes us look around. An internal pressure is arising in our mind, and it is in fact this that makes us look back. Or, to take another example, there may be a flash of jealousy at another’s success, or secret delight at his failure, in spite of an inward reproach that follows immediately and may cause us to feel remorse.
Such a fragment of thought that momentarily appears in our mind is called nen.
Nen has another meaning. Suppose a mother is fighting against a tiger to protect her child. There is only one thought in her mind— protection. This is a kind of willpower and is called nen, or in this case, ichi-nen. Ichi means “one” and here implies a full-scale, wholly concentrated action of the mind. A murderer may be driven by the single thought that he must kill such and such a person. This concentrated, persistent intention is also called nen.
Nen is also used to mean ordinary thought. Nen involves the idea of drive, but it is more than that, since it covers all actions of the human mind. Nen is necessarily accompanied by internal pressure because all actions of the mind have that feature. In any nen-thought —for instance, wanting something, grudging a stupid fellow his fine house and beautiful wife, hating a neighbor, loving or delighting in anything or anybody—a certain degree of internal pressure develops in our minds. This is the case even when we think, “It’s fine today.” We are tempted to accost someone, saying, “It’s fine today, isn’t it!” in order to discharge our internal pressure. The slightest nen-thought or idea that appears in our mind is thus accompanied by internal pressure, which has both physiological and psychological aspects.
We say in our routine way, “Good morning.” “How do you do?” “Did Dorothea go to school?” “I don’t want scrambled eggs this morning, I’ll have fried eggs.” To examine this sort of conversation may seem silly. But Zen takes up the slightest action of the mind and makes a great matter of it. “Good morning” makes a Zen koan. How to dispose of momentary internal pressure is central to the whole question of Zen practice. Now, laughter is one of the great masterpieces of humanity. We invented it to dispose of internal pressure.



Katsuki Sekida - Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy - CHAPTER SEVENTEEN  Stages in Zen Training 
Quote:

IN THIS CHAPTER I want to discuss two classics of Zen literature: first the traditional series of pictures called “In Search of the Missing Ox,” and second the Five Ranks or Situations of Tozan.

. . .

TOZAN’S FIVE RANKS In searching for the ox, we were mainly dealing with the process of attaining enlightenment. Tozan’s Five Ranks are concerned with matters after enlightenment: that is, with the cultivation of Holy Buddhahood. Certain Buddhist schools assert that there are fifty-two stages through which the enlightened person has to pass before he reaches the true maturity of the Buddha. However, Tozan’s Five Ranks are sufficient to enable us to grasp the essential points. Before commenting on them in detail, however, we must introduce and explain certain essential terms used in describing these ranks.
When one attains kensho and the habitual way of consciousness falls off, there appears what is called daien-kyōchi; this may be translated as “the great perfect Mirror of Wisdom” (dai, great; en, round, which here means “rounded maturity” and hence “perfect”; kyō, mirror; chi, wisdom). Everyone is innately equipped with this Mirror of Wisdom. However, in most people it has long been veiled because of the activity of our topsy-turvy delusive thought. In absolute samadhi the veil is cleared away and the perfect mirror is allowed to appear. This condition constitutes Tozan’s First Rank. The Mirror of Wisdom, however, still remains in darkness in the absolute samadhi of the First Rank. This rank corresponds to the eighth stage of searching for the ox, illustrated by the circle, in which body and mind have fallen off.

. . .

Let us put these matters in another way. At an early stage in the cultivation of Holy Buddhahood, you may often find yourself failing to behave well; you do not what you would wish to do but what you hate. You say, “It should not be so,” but to no avail. However, as you go on, you begin to lose these discriminating motivations and ultimately come to find equality in distinction. It is this state that constitutes Tozan’s Second Rank.
We used the words “Sho” and “honbun” to characterize the First Rank, which we connect with the world of equality. The Second Rank relates to the world of differentiation and distinction, which in Zen terminology is called hen (periphery). The two words “Sho” and “Hen” have no exact equivalents in English, and we shall not try to translate them here. However, to suggest their meanings, we will list contrasting terms that can be associated with them; in each pair, the first term represents Sho and the second Hen: absolute, relative; equality, distinction; emptiness, form; absolute samadhi, positive samadhi; darkness, light; yin, yang; no-thought, thought; inward, outward; central, peripheral; reason, matter; reality, appearance.
Here we have a series of concepts that are in opposition to each other. However, in actual life, we find that we simply exist. When we are in absolute samadhi, we are in absolute quietness. When we are in positive samadhi, we are in vigorous activity. There is only one stream of existence, the continuum of the present. However, when we take up philosophical speculation again, we are once more confronted by ideas of reality and appearance, absolute and relative, and so on. Then once again we return to the continuum of one single existence. Sho and Hen alternate, each retaining, so to speak, a vague memory of the other. Thus, two situations can be considered: “Hen in Sho” (Tozan’s First Rank) and “Sho in Hen” (Tozan’s Second Rank).
To go on from there, we abolish entirely the dualistic idea of Sho and Hen—absolute and relative, and so on—and bring about a synthesis and integration of them. There then remains the Real in its true sense. That is to say, when you are in absolute samadhi, you are in absolute samadhi; when you are in positive samadhi, you are in positive samadhi. There is only one fact—that you exist. This returning to “existing,” with the resumption of the activity of consciousness, constitutes Tozan’s Third Rank, “Coming from Sho.”




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Invisiblespinvis
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Registered: 09/15/20
Posts: 586
Re: Agency, Who is the doer? [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #28636599 - 01/27/24 08:35 AM (11 hours, 19 seconds ago)

Haha tell me about it! I'm diagnosed with PTSD. How great it is to make your biggest weakness your greatest strength!


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Onlinesyncro
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Re: Agency, Who is the doer? [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #28636662 - 01/27/24 09:21 AM (10 hours, 14 minutes ago)

Re: perturbed

Everyone seems to agree in themselves, I do anyway, on the default waking state. I think I unconsciously do it on purpose, or it's fear, like drinking too much coffee on impulse, and expecting peace.

It reminds of a teacher saying we don't abide due to fear. For me, having the idea that I can now relatively more easily access that sattva, say, the avoidance is even more powerful or subtle, because confidence is there, but I'll choose my suffering instead because, well, the 10000 dharmas we keep with with our precious dukkha. Makes no sense and I don't know.

It's much about where I think I am in life, phases and obligations, financial, social. If I feel any hint of those, I tend to avoid, and stay in what, patterns of varying degrees of angst and habit.

Practices are ripe, but I leave them in the garage. Now I only talk about them. But they do come in snooze land too, fortunately. Insane though for me, to avoid the guru sadhana. A teacher said, when one is hungry, they will eat. It seems fine in that sense, but we only have so many days.

Before someones dismisses guru sadhana, today I found that Longchenpa himself was also very much about that. Not that I don't respect however people do their thing, but it goes to context around the non-effort. Do nothing, BUT, figuratively or otherwise, clean the temple, clean yourself, put on your robes and be there, quite distinct from junk food culture.

On the good side of stupidity, it is also a wonderful dance, or game of hide and seek, lila, whatever that is in us that seems to want to be in dukkha for the great bliss of return.


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