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InvisibleItsLinkNotZelda
Meat Popsicle
Registered: 01/20/24
Posts: 7
Ego murder? lol * 1
    #28632732 - 01/23/24 11:58 PM (3 days, 22 hours ago)

A couple of months ago I ate about half a 4gram chocolate bar. It started off with a strange body high, I was laying in bed listening to some music and it felt like the universe was a live and layering me in warm wet layers of it's flesh. It was fantastic, it felt comforting like being in the womb again or something. What happened next I can only describe as murdering my own ego and getting transported to different parts of the universe where I interacted with my anxiety, impatients and finally depression.

After I was fully enveloped in the warm flesh of the universe, I was on an alien ship or somewhere talking to a typical grey alien, except it's skin had a scaly looking pattern that was white with a hard texture, kind of like a praying mantis with scales. It was telling me it's part of me, there are many version of myself in this universe and apparently it was the "highest evolved" form of myself. It told me it monitors this version of myself along with all the others. It seemed to really be full of it's self, so I broke it's head open on the control panel and scooped out a piece of it's brain (which looked like lobster meat, I don't even like lobster lol) and ate it.

I was instantly transported through the spinal cord of the universe, like a worm hole. As I tried to exit it I was wrapped up by two snakes that had bit me and were inject their venom, which I understood was the source of my anxiety. The snakes were injecting me with anxiety and through understanding that I realized that they only had power over me if I gave it to them.

With that realization the snakes let me go and I exited the spinal cord. I woke up on a beach on a different planet. As I walked down this beach I noticed my foot got stuck in the sand. The more I tried to get my foot out the more it pulled me in. Next thing I know the sand it sinking down and reveals that both of my feet are now in the mouth of a creature much like the Sarlacc from Return of the Jedi but much smaller. It had these teeth that were curved back so it's prey wouldn't be able to escape easily. It's saliva was going into my wounds and putting me at ease, making it easier for it to pull me in further. The more I struggled the more the saliva seeped into me and the harder it was to fight it. It was a totally helpless feeling but not scary at all. I just felt lost and stuck and like there was no hope for me, this was depression swallowing me whole as it has so many times in life. I realized there was no point in fighting it, it always wins in the end. The reality of the situation though was that I did have a choice. I could struggle and fight but it would ultimately consume me, or I could lean into it and let it consume me with out struggling. Not fighting it turned out to be the key to getting away from it. The less I struggled the less the effects of the saliva had on me, it's jaw started to let up, I slowly and calmly was able to pull myself out and make it back onto the beach. There were many more of them opening up all around me on the beach but my lesson here had been learned and I was back in the spinal cord.

I was in the spinal cord for some time this time, just traveling across time and space. At that point it had been about 4 or 5 hours since the mushrooms had started to kick in and I went out for a smoke break. I went back in to listen to some more music and ride out the rest of my journey. The rest of the night was relaxing and had some fun close eye visuals for a bit before going to sleep.

From what I gathered from my experience, the alien was my Ego. It felt it was superior to all the other version of myself. I wasn't angry or anything when I killed it, but it definitely didn't seem to be part of it's plan. The snakes are my anxiety, the Sarlacc was my depression and impatients but mostly my depression. I came to have a better understanding of these parts of myself. They aren't sicknesses or diseases, they are a part of me. While I can't completely control those aspects of myself I can accept they are a part of me and just as alive in one way or another as I am.

It was a very therapeutic experience I felt amazing the next day and for a few weeks after. I still get anxiety and bits of depression but not nearly as bad as I have in the past.

P.S. The alien almost came back for round 2 the next time I ate some mushrooms, I was in a foggy room and I could see the aliens eyes and face come close to me. I could see the shock in it's eyes when it realized it was me again and instantly cut off connection to me, the rest of that trip was just fun and didn't really have anything notable happen.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: ItsLinkNotZelda] * 1
    #28632867 - 01/24/24 05:49 AM (3 days, 16 hours ago)

It may be Zelda - the crux of videogamery!

young people like yourself have slightly different (universal) symbols than earlier generations, but the question remains "are the symbols significant, or is the state of mind that unleashes them significant"

All cultures have their symbols - the tie-ins to their psyche - and all people experience altered states of mind one way or another (dreams drugs emotions trances...).


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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OfflineSoul Flight
Stranger
Registered: 05/04/23
Posts: 236
Last seen: 7 hours, 51 minutes
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28633118 - 01/24/24 10:04 AM (3 days, 12 hours ago)

Very cool. I think you decoded the imagery. It is awesome to put your ego in check. We all have the power to murder our ego and eat its brains. Lol!


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InvisibleBlue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,145
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: ItsLinkNotZelda] * 1
    #28634496 - 01/25/24 01:07 PM (2 days, 9 hours ago)

Lying is unethical.


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I the music, not the bling
https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm
𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱
May I ask what your bud type is?
  LXIVAMOR 
Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.


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InvisibleItsLinkNotZelda
Meat Popsicle
Registered: 01/20/24
Posts: 7
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: Blue_Lux]
    #28634742 - 01/25/24 05:18 PM (2 days, 5 hours ago)

Quote:

Blue_Lux said:
Lying is unethical.




Well I wasn't going to sit in my bed silly pants.


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Invisibleelasticaltiger
Like Tigers in Coitus
Male


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/24/13
Posts: 8,042
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: ItsLinkNotZelda] * 1
    #28634762 - 01/25/24 05:47 PM (2 days, 4 hours ago)

Fun read. I've never had a full on experience like this so there's always a little bit of doubt in my mind if they're real. Even my first time with psilocybe cyanescens at 3.5 grams I can remember being somewhat aware of myself. Unfortunately that trip was in total darkness and while I did have some visuals and auditory hallucinations (like full on clown music [the entertainer?] Playing) I've just never had full on hallucinations at any dose yet. Always just alteration of existing visual frame.


--------------------
First time growing cakes? DON'T make a Shotgun Fruiting Chamber

The Shmuvbox. - The Old TC's Like it :shrug:

Afraid to Start Growing From Your Own Prints? Drop it Like a Tiger!
No Pouring. No Syringes. No Cutting. No flaming. No Contamination. No Bullshit.

"The best thing to do while your waiting is to start more stuff. I usually got so much happening that I have tossed projects simply because I didn't have time for them. -Pastywhite QFT

Pastywhite's Easy Agar Tek (PastyPlates)

Tiger Drop Video Demos By munchauzen

Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.―Bill Watterson

EZEKIEL 23:20


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OfflineNorthernerM
splelling chceker
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Registered: 07/29/12
Posts: 14,135
Loc: FNQ
Last seen: 52 minutes, 21 seconds
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: elasticaltiger]
    #28634767 - 01/25/24 05:52 PM (2 days, 4 hours ago)

Doesn't sound like mushrooms at all.


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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


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InvisibleItsLinkNotZelda
Meat Popsicle
Registered: 01/20/24
Posts: 7
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: Northerner]
    #28634859 - 01/25/24 06:51 PM (2 days, 3 hours ago)

Quote:

Northerner said:
Doesn't sound like mushrooms at all.




Unless the dispensary I got the chocolate bar from made it from something else and then packaged it in a well known companies wrapper then im pretty sure it was mushrooms. Who knows, it could have been something else but packaged as mushrooms. Just sharing my experience.


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Invisibleelasticaltiger
Like Tigers in Coitus
Male


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/24/13
Posts: 8,042
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: ItsLinkNotZelda]
    #28634863 - 01/25/24 06:56 PM (2 days, 3 hours ago)

Also how on earth were you able to coordinate walking outside for a smoke while being engulfed in the spine of the universe? Like these are the details that stand out to me and beg the edge of believability. When im on psilocyben I am ON PSILOCYBIN and not capable of much else besides lying in a sweatty mess on the ground or bed.


--------------------
First time growing cakes? DON'T make a Shotgun Fruiting Chamber

The Shmuvbox. - The Old TC's Like it :shrug:

Afraid to Start Growing From Your Own Prints? Drop it Like a Tiger!
No Pouring. No Syringes. No Cutting. No flaming. No Contamination. No Bullshit.

"The best thing to do while your waiting is to start more stuff. I usually got so much happening that I have tossed projects simply because I didn't have time for them. -Pastywhite QFT

Pastywhite's Easy Agar Tek (PastyPlates)

Tiger Drop Video Demos By munchauzen

Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.―Bill Watterson

EZEKIEL 23:20


Edited by elasticaltiger (01/25/24 06:58 PM)


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InvisibleItsLinkNotZelda
Meat Popsicle
Registered: 01/20/24
Posts: 7
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: elasticaltiger]
    #28634890 - 01/25/24 07:20 PM (2 days, 3 hours ago)

Quote:

elasticaltiger said:
Also how on earth were you able to coordinate walking outside for a smoke while being engulfed in the spine of the universe? Like these are the details that stand out to me and beg the edge of believability. When im on psilocyben I am ON PSILOCYBIN and not capable of much else besides lying in a sweatty mess on the ground or bed.




Believe me or not, it was what I experienced. If you don't believe me than thanks for stopping by and reading my story at least.


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OfflineBeepboop134
Stranger
Registered: 01/26/24
Posts: 10
Last seen: 21 hours, 37 minutes
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: ItsLinkNotZelda]
    #28636137 - 01/26/24 08:07 PM (1 day, 2 hours ago)

Those chocolates have been known to sometimes be a RC, 4-HO-MET, with similar effects.


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Invisibleloladoreen
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,322
Re: Ego murder? lol [Re: elasticaltiger]
    #28636306 - 01/26/24 10:49 PM (23 hours, 44 minutes ago)

Quote:

elasticaltiger said:
Fun read. I've never had a full on experience like this so there's always a little bit of doubt in my mind if they're real. Even my first time with psilocybe cyanescens at 3.5 grams I can remember being somewhat aware of myself. Unfortunately that trip was in total darkness and while I did have some visuals and auditory hallucinations (like full on clown music [the entertainer?] Playing) I've just never had full on hallucinations at any dose yet. Always just alteration of existing visual frame.



Same


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