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Blueberry Muffin
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Registered: 09/15/23
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Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity
#28629395 - 01/21/24 03:23 AM (7 days, 7 hours ago) |
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Hi! I'm on SSRI's, max dose and seeing a psychiatrist. I started growing because I saw potential for consuming mushrooms as medicine. I've done doses ranging from 1g up to 8g (highest dose not recommended). I started taking mushrooms last year somewhere in november and my trips have mostly been similar. Usually with a dose of 3g once a week, I'd get extreme relaxation and maybe some close eyed visuals. A dose if 3 or 4g every other day would yield moderate relaxation, some introspection. Sometimes rarely some feelings come up, body tenses up and tears and saddness escape as I let them go. 1g is usually enough to experience brighter light, more beauty is environment and sound, more immersion. Often I would dose and half an hour later be in awe of the realization of the state I was in before dosing. I did not understand how I could tolerate and manage feeling that way.
So a few days ago I dosed 4g, dried powdered, down with orange juice. Things started happening that never happened before with the same dose. I became a spectator, body stopped regulating heat and I needed an electric blanket not to freeze, I saw everything at once and felt my whole body at once from head to toe. There were no visuals like is normal for me with this dose. I felt that there was a whole separate world under my blanket, very spacious. I saw things in 500 fps and when I turned on music with a fast tempo, my partner started devouring her cheese sandwitch like she hadn't eaten in a week. Telling her to eat slower did not work, but switching to chopin nocturns sure slowed things down.
Long story short, 3 hours after dosing I was coming down and then I understood what kind of sensory depravity I was living in for the past many years. I felt everything I was supposed to feel, I was reborn, alive once again. I cried out of happiness because I felt that I escaped the nightmare I was living in. I told my partner that I was back and that I can now take care of her like she deserves.
The next day I was slowly falling back into a hole, started slowly tapering ssri's so that maybe mushrooms can help me better at a lower dose. Took 2g and it helped me feel once again like a normal human being and enjoy all of the sensations I could not feel before.
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Goodlife0209



Registered: 12/30/23
Posts: 64
Last seen: 19 minutes, 19 seconds
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Blueberry Muffin]
#28629783 - 01/21/24 12:06 PM (6 days, 23 hours ago) |
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Glad you were able to have some relief if only temporarily. I’ve never been a fan of the mechanism of action of SSRIs. They seem to lessen the feelings to a manageable, instead of having you face things directly. I understand tho when you get down like that, anything that helps is a godsend. Sending good vibes your way!
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Blueberry Muffin
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Registered: 09/15/23
Posts: 451
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Goodlife0209]
#28629808 - 01/21/24 12:52 PM (6 days, 22 hours ago) |
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Thank you, I appreciate it. It's like you said, SSRI's make things manageable, but never all the way. The worst thing about it is that it interferes with the psychedelic medicine. It was a godsend though, like you said, until I started growing the medicine. Now I need to worry about tapering properly and getting enough time to integrate.
Today I feel good enough that I didn't need to take any mushrooms. A nap worked well enough. It is difficult to really assess objectively if I'm falling into sensory deprivation again, but I suppose I'll know tomorrow when I'll do my next 4g trip. Looking forward to discovering how far I've fallen or how well I've stayed afloat.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,528
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Blueberry Muffin]
#28629848 - 01/21/24 01:32 PM (6 days, 21 hours ago) |
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I have good reason to believe that we experience new perceptions (mental contents) around 10 times per second, some stuff keeps resonating longer - especially when stoned. Letting it happen without fighting it or denying perceptions or encouraging them, just letting it happen is a lovely thing that happens on psychedelic. if you let it. And if you do get the knack of letting it happen, then, it is the opposite of sensory depravity. basically everything you can be aware of is mental content, just being aware of it is enough.
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Blueberry Muffin
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: redgreenvines]
#28629887 - 01/21/24 02:00 PM (6 days, 21 hours ago) |
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It has been my experience as well that it was the opposite of sensory depravity. I still touch and stroke my body in various places every once in a while to make sure that I haven't lost or diminished my senses
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Blueberry Muffin
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Registered: 09/15/23
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Blueberry Muffin] 1
#28631788 - 01/23/24 07:26 AM (5 days, 3 hours ago) |
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Just want to update that the next day after that trip I've been falling into sensory depravity again. I waited one day and dosed 3g dry and 30g wet - the result is that I came alive once again. When the mushrooms wore off, I realized that for most of the time in the past many years I've not felt or seen anything like I was supposed to. Even after the mushrooms wore off and the next day, I see reflections I did not see before, hear reverb in sound and all motion is much more refined and smooth, with much more detail. I've been healed once again. I don't know what fucked me up, migraine meds or SSRI's, but I'm back. I'm back baby. Took me 2 months of dosing at least once a week, but I finally see and hear all the beauty the world has to offer.
I thought that the brighter colors, fuller sound, more sensations, were just a temporary thing due to the influence of mushrooms. Turns out that I've gotten glimpses into the reality that many of you live in. I feel like I might be slowly falling back into the nightmare I was in, but I feel hopeful because I have the medicine and this fantastic community for support.
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Blueberry Muffin
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Registered: 09/15/23
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Blueberry Muffin] 2
#28631939 - 01/23/24 09:41 AM (5 days, 1 hour ago) |
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In gamer terms I got a new video card, turned off frame limiter, turned on ray tracing and got a new oled display. Feels exactly like that
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,528
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Blueberry Muffin]
#28632016 - 01/23/24 10:55 AM (5 days, 19 minutes ago) |
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I find I slip out of contact with my new video card and get tangled up in internal conversations and replay, unless I pay attention to my senses - I have to keep up the habit of body scanning and watching my breath or I lose it. Dosing shrooms helps a bit like a power spray when the windows are dirty.
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Blueberry Muffin
Stranger


Registered: 09/15/23
Posts: 451
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: redgreenvines]
#28632102 - 01/23/24 12:36 PM (4 days, 22 hours ago) |
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Ferdinando


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3,664
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Blueberry Muffin]
#28632757 - 01/24/24 01:38 AM (4 days, 9 hours ago) |
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cleaning windows
-------------------- with our love with our love we could save the world
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Blueberry Muffin
Stranger


Registered: 09/15/23
Posts: 451
Last seen: 1 hour, 53 minutes
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Ferdinando]
#28632907 - 01/24/24 06:42 AM (4 days, 4 hours ago) |
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Hope to reach a point where I don't need a power wash every week or every couple of days. Maybe once I get off SSRI's completely, if it's the main culprit.
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