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InvisibleRahz
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Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
Re: stupidity is a form of assault [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #28632210 - 01/23/24 03:10 PM (4 days, 22 hours ago)

I disagree with the idea of stupidity being rape. It's a stupid idea.

As far as the subject matter, anyone intelligent who's been around more than 3-4 decades knows the population is dumber. No real focus in the article on causes and solutions. I don't think there are easy solutions, but if I felt compelled to write an article about it I would at least attempt to identify the causes and offer solutions.


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rahz

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"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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InvisibleRahz
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Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
Re: stupidity is a form of assault [Re: Blue_Lux]
    #28634290 - 01/25/24 10:20 AM (3 days, 3 hours ago)

Agreed. Sex is an intimate activity which can develop a special kind of bond. Sex alone can't do that of course. Sex alone is shady, but when there's friendship and activities that promote seeing the other person as a whole person sex is what can make it special.

I have few female friends but some of them are people who I've had sex with before. We still communicate or see each other because we did develop a friendship and treat each other like whole people while we were getting naked together.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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InvisibleRahz
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Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,229
Re: stupidity is a form of assault [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #28634511 - 01/25/24 01:24 PM (3 days, 6 minutes ago)

Obviously I do not know what you are capable of achieving so will not make assumptions about it. You do not either and I suppose making assumptions about it isn't helpful.

I was a mostly sexless drunk from 18-31. Handful of one night stands which I did not initiate. It took the better part of 10 years being sober and generally reclusive before I started actively trying to be more social with females. I had little success until I met the right person, experienced various difficulties with that relation eventually leading to the personal realization I just shared about priorities in regard to how we treat others. Very difficult process for me.

I think it's true that we must work on being who we want to be for ourselves to build trust with someone we want to fuck. I think it's also true that we can't do it all alone and we are mostly helpless in that regard, waiting on the universe to supply necessary experience/right people which often means the hardship we need.

While I don't think the necessary path is generally straight forward, dwelling on the prospect of suicide isn't intuitively a reasonable path to mental health. I'm not a fan of positivity but I am a fan of curiosity, of sensing all potential in the unknown that is the future, not just fear and dread.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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InvisibleRahz
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Re: stupidity is a form of assault [Re: Rahz]
    #28634520 - 01/25/24 01:30 PM (3 days, 51 seconds ago)

A further note regarding potential. Etymology of respect is not looking up (or down) to someone as though they are a static image. It's a willingness to look again with curiosity. Not assuming potential, acknowledging that we are dynamic creatures that change. Respect yourself.


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rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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InvisibleRahz
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Re: stupidity is a form of assault [Re: Blue_Lux]
    #28634781 - 01/25/24 06:06 PM (2 days, 19 hours ago)

I agree with all of that. People extend their playfulness as far as they extend their trust in the moment. Perhaps that's why things are sometimes "good in the beginning" because there were no personal level structural associations but rather a likable stranger who also conveniently knows almost nothing about them. In leu of causing trust issues it can still take a long time to develop it, mutually acknowledge it and enjoy it. Even in a best case scenario it can take more than a few months, or longer, to find that. It takes a long time to really get to know someone and people only trust what they know.

Bad drama seems better than no drama to some and in some curious manner of logic considering people trust what they know, bad drama can be more trusted than good drama.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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InvisibleRahz
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Re: stupidity is a form of assault [Re: Blue_Lux]
    #28635388 - 01/26/24 08:46 AM (2 days, 4 hours ago)

Quote:

Blue_Lux said:
It is exactly time that people don't talk about when they talk about marriage. Sure, they may talk about "a lifetime," but do they talk about the actual lived time that they will encounter? Think of the person you have exchanged the most amount of words with. This is properly someone's spouse, how I see it. The time is what really makes it what it is. There comes a point... it is after months upon months of every moment together... Some people never experience this. My husband and I went 3 full years together every single day and night, never apart. This type of experience is... I'm not sure some people are ready for it. It is just like a psychedelic, really. Everyone goes into it all rainbows and giggles, and confetti... Then you get further and further... "Does this end? This is something unlike I could have ever imagined." I think you learn just as much about yourself as you do the other person. At least, if my experience is like what other people's experiences of marriage are like.

What is the difference between having shared 10,000 words and 2 million? Maybe more?




Such things often don't happen in a mutual way. Being alone in one's vulnerability is one thing. Being hurt by one's object of affection in such a state is another, and that's where the boundaries are built.

The person I've loved the most, I felt the need to break things off with them. Sacrifice, compromise, understanding, patience, working on trust. At some point and it's not gradual the magic is gone. Love remains. It's not enough to carry on but it still holds value. Did I get manipulative? Was I progressively more needy? Did I get violent? Did I kill myself to spite her? Nope. I left her and that's what she needed. That's how she knows I actually love her, because I broke things off without being hurtful about it.

Another person I know is "prone to obsession". Doesn't want to be in love or have someone be in love with her. Was in love with a BF, got cheated on and took it very badly. Later she experienced a platonic obsession and was rejected by a friend. At that point she sought psychiatric help.

The first person I mentioned never had a chance. Her step-dad started molesting her when she was 3.

Lucky are those who fall in love and also love. Luckier are those who fall in love together and also love together.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi


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