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OfflineBlueberry Muffin
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Registered: 09/15/23
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Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity
    #28629395 - 01/21/24 03:23 AM (7 days, 7 hours ago)

Hi! I'm on SSRI's, max dose and seeing a psychiatrist. I started growing because I saw potential for consuming mushrooms as medicine. I've done doses ranging from 1g up to 8g (highest dose not recommended). I started taking mushrooms last year somewhere in november and my trips have mostly been similar. Usually with a dose of 3g once a week, I'd get extreme relaxation and maybe some close eyed visuals. A dose if 3 or 4g every other day would yield moderate relaxation, some introspection. Sometimes rarely some feelings come up, body tenses up and tears and saddness escape as I let them go. 1g is usually enough to experience brighter light, more beauty is environment and sound, more immersion. Often I would dose and half an hour later be in awe of the realization of the state I was in before dosing. I did not understand how I could tolerate and manage feeling that way.

So a few days ago I dosed 4g, dried powdered, down with orange juice. Things started happening that never happened before with the same dose. I became a spectator, body stopped regulating heat and I needed an electric blanket not to freeze, I saw everything at once and felt my whole body at once from head to toe. There were no visuals like is normal for me with this dose. I felt that there was a whole separate world under my blanket, very spacious. I saw things in 500 fps and when I turned on music with a fast tempo, my partner started devouring her cheese sandwitch like she hadn't eaten in a week. Telling her to eat slower did not work, but switching to chopin nocturns sure slowed things down.

Long story short, 3 hours after dosing I was coming down and then I understood what kind of sensory depravity I was living in for the past many years. I felt everything I was supposed to feel, I was reborn, alive once again. I cried out of happiness because I felt that I escaped the nightmare I was living in. I told my partner that I was back and that I can now take care of her like she deserves.

The next day I was slowly falling back into a hole, started slowly tapering ssri's so that maybe mushrooms can help me better at a lower dose. Took 2g and it helped me feel once again like a normal human being and enjoy all of the sensations I could not feel before.


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OfflineBlueberry Muffin
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Registered: 09/15/23
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Goodlife0209]
    #28629808 - 01/21/24 12:52 PM (6 days, 22 hours ago)

Thank you, I appreciate it. It's like you said, SSRI's make things manageable, but never all the way. The worst thing about it is that it interferes with the psychedelic medicine. It was a godsend though, like you said, until I started growing the medicine. Now I need to worry about tapering properly and getting enough time to integrate.

Today I feel good enough that I didn't need to take any mushrooms. A nap worked well enough. It is difficult to really assess objectively if I'm falling into sensory deprivation again, but I suppose I'll know tomorrow when I'll do my next 4g trip. Looking forward to discovering how far I've fallen or how well I've stayed afloat.


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OfflineBlueberry Muffin
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28629887 - 01/21/24 02:00 PM (6 days, 21 hours ago)

It has been my experience as well that it was the opposite of sensory depravity. I still touch and stroke my body in various places every once in a while to make sure that I haven't lost or diminished my senses


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OfflineBlueberry Muffin
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Blueberry Muffin] * 1
    #28631788 - 01/23/24 07:26 AM (5 days, 3 hours ago)

Just want to update that the next day after that trip I've been falling into sensory depravity again. I waited one day and dosed 3g dry and 30g wet - the result is that I came alive once again. When the mushrooms wore off, I realized that for most of the time in the past many years I've not felt or seen anything like I was supposed to. Even after the mushrooms wore off and the next day, I see reflections I did not see before, hear reverb in sound and all motion is much more refined and smooth, with much more detail. I've been healed once again. I don't know what fucked me up, migraine meds or SSRI's, but I'm back. I'm back baby. Took me 2 months of dosing at least once a week, but I finally see and hear all the beauty the world has to offer.

I thought that the brighter colors, fuller sound, more sensations, were just a temporary thing due to the influence of mushrooms. Turns out that I've gotten glimpses into the reality that many of you live in. I feel like I might be slowly falling back into the nightmare I was in, but I feel hopeful because I have the medicine and this fantastic community for support. :heart:


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OfflineBlueberry Muffin
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Registered: 09/15/23
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Blueberry Muffin] * 2
    #28631939 - 01/23/24 09:41 AM (5 days, 1 hour ago)

In gamer terms I got a new video card, turned off frame limiter, turned on ray tracing and got a new oled display. Feels exactly like that


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OfflineBlueberry Muffin
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Registered: 09/15/23
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28632102 - 01/23/24 12:36 PM (4 days, 22 hours ago)

:cheers:


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OfflineBlueberry Muffin
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Re: Natalensis trips, escaping depression and sensory depravity [Re: Ferdinando]
    #28632907 - 01/24/24 06:42 AM (4 days, 4 hours ago)

Hope to reach a point where I don't need a power wash every week or every couple of days. Maybe once I get off SSRI's completely, if it's the main culprit.


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