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PreparationH said: So I am a registered nurse since 2019. I worked on a typical medical surgical unit on and off since September 2019 and it's been a disaster to the point where I have clearly developed what I guess is anxiety, PTSD, or a mix of the two. The saving grace is I paid off nursing school, own my truck, and have a roof over my head.
I finished my last travel contract in November and have been just lounging around but here's the issue, I can not work in a hospital anymore I was having serious sleep issues, throwing up before shifts, having borderline panic attacks and shit so I can't do it to myself any more, I highly recommend most people against going into this field now after having done it myself. I have worked in 3 hospitals and month by month, the job got worse and worse. I recently read that 50% of RN's plan to leave the field in the next 5 years and I guess I am one of them.
I am not sure what to do though. I have another degree in exercise science and certs in personal training I kept up with, so I am considering just walking into a gym and trying to be a new trainer there because I miss those days and maybe make nursing something on the side.
When I tell people about this in my life, they don't understand and I feel like I come off as an angsty teen . When I was venting to my brother he said "Dude everyone hates their job, get over it."
I'm in my 30s. I have worked many jobs. No job has ever caused me this sort of bullshit in my life and he doesn't see dead bodies, horrible wounds, deal with autistic doctors, cunt nurse managers, and the American public who a huge chunk are absolutely terrible patients, trust me. I don't hold it against him but it's just not something I would've understood either until doing it.
I dunno but the stress has built up over the last 5 years and I hit my breaking point where the thought of just offing myself crossed my mind and that's what was my o shit moment and having that thought run through my head is making me reevaluate a lot of stuff.
I am not suicidal at all either, but the conditions I worked in, hearing screaming every shift, bells and whistles, adrenaline dumps out of the blue because someone died unexpectedly etc. I have had it.
So what now? I am mid 30s and feel pretty lost and definitely know it's not a Grass looking greener scenario, the grass in nursing at least, is on fire.
I don’t hate either of my jobs. They get on top of me sometimes, but I genuinely enjoy them and they make me happy.
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