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Anonymous #1

Question for men
    #28626396 - 01/18/24 07:16 PM (9 days, 36 minutes ago)

If a mans struggling with premature ejaculation and getting and staying hard. Why would he not take viagra?
I've bought some. Asked him to take them.
And doesn't take them.
How do I address this?


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OfflineAspectOfTheCreator
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28626435 - 01/18/24 08:09 PM (8 days, 23 hours ago)

Theres no such thing as premature ejaculation. You always cum right when youre supposed to and whether its premature or not is determined by the other person or by society.

Sounds like someone has a porn addiction though.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28626510 - 01/18/24 09:26 PM (8 days, 22 hours ago)

30 seconds?

Could be porn....


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28626525 - 01/18/24 09:43 PM (8 days, 22 hours ago)

Probably feels some stigma to taking them. Some guys are afraid to admit to issues they may have.


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28626690 - 01/19/24 02:49 AM (8 days, 17 hours ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
30 seconds?

Could be porn....



That's not very uncommon, really. And no, I don't think porn is the culprit. That sounds like an out-of-the-blue suggestion with no clear empirical basis.

Time to cum varies pretty wildly in humans; anything below 15 seconds is technically considered premature. 4-8 minutes is considered typical, but many guys fall in the 15 seconds to 4 minute bracket.

@OP, I assume you've talking about it one or two times and you both have your arguments why viagra should/shouldn't be used. Could you sum it all up for us? We could guess all day but in the end, only you and your partner have the answers. Then depending on the arguments/considerations, see if there are alternative solutions or perhaps a compromise can be struck.


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OfflineJanus62
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Re: Question for men [Re: koraks]
    #28626702 - 01/19/24 03:21 AM (8 days, 16 hours ago)

As long as he makes sure that you're satisfied before entering you, it's his problem if he chooses not to accept a bit of help.:tongue:

Tell him to keep it in his pants until you're done!


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28626747 - 01/19/24 05:11 AM (8 days, 14 hours ago)

He just said I don't know
Makes him uncomfortable

Been happening a few years

Also said he has no interest in sex like he used to

The problem is he is the only one who orgasms


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Offlineoursoulsinmotion
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28626786 - 01/19/24 06:41 AM (8 days, 13 hours ago)

15 seconds
:canthelpbutlaugh:


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Anonymous #2

Re: Question for men [Re: oursoulsinmotion] * 1
    #28626866 - 01/19/24 08:26 AM (8 days, 11 hours ago)

Sounds like he needs what my wife and I've got. A cock locked in chastity that never cums but is kept always eager to please, and a strap on with an identical clone of my cock (though slightly shorter due to being in the strap on) that also never cums but can keep fucking her all the way through her orgasm.



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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28626909 - 01/19/24 09:09 AM (8 days, 10 hours ago)

How does it prevent ejaculation?


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Anonymous #2

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28626911 - 01/19/24 09:10 AM (8 days, 10 hours ago)

How does what prevent ejaculation?


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OfflineFreedom
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28626929 - 01/19/24 09:30 AM (8 days, 10 hours ago)

It might be treating the symptom but not the cause

it can be a really vulnerable area for men to talk about or even admit to themselves

there can be layers of defenses. identity, shame, etc


it might feel really off to him if you're suggesting a drug to treat the symptoms but haven't shown interest in the cause


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Freedom]
    #28626960 - 01/19/24 09:58 AM (8 days, 9 hours ago)

Quote:

Freedom said:
It might be treating the symptom but not the cause

it can be a really vulnerable area for men to talk about or even admit to themselves

there can be layers of defenses. identity, shame, etc


it might feel really off to him if you're suggesting a drug to treat the symptoms but haven't shown interest in the cause




I believe it's exactly this
He has been less secure since it started


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28627308 - 01/19/24 02:16 PM (8 days, 5 hours ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
30 seconds?

Could be porn....




Ironically, it could the opposite problem. For example, if a guy is horny and never watches porn or never spanks his monkey, then that guy then goes straight to penetrating a woman (arguable the most pleasurable thing a straight man can get), hes gonna blow his entire wad nearly instantanously.

Its commonly called hyper-sensitivity and one cause is a lack of regular sexual pleasure. Imagine not smoking weed for a whole year than one day taking a huuuuge dab from a dab bong. You're getting really really high. This is why some dudes have wet dreams even in adulthood, its the unconscious mind doing the work when the conscious mind neglects that D.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28627601 - 01/19/24 06:25 PM (8 days, 1 hour ago)

Could be a combination of all.
But has been going an a few years


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InvisibleHartford
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28627624 - 01/19/24 06:35 PM (8 days, 1 hour ago)

Tell him to do his Kiegel exercises (regular and reverse kiegels) as often as he can remember them and to wear a special necklace or ring to remind him. Every time during the day that he sees the ring or notices his necklace (like a sizable stone pendant necklace) he will do the kiegels and his endurance will increase.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28627958 - 01/19/24 11:44 PM (7 days, 20 hours ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Sounds like he needs what my wife and I've got. A cock locked in chastity that never cums but is kept always eager to please, and a strap on with an identical clone of my cock (though slightly shorter due to being in the strap on) that also never cums but can keep fucking her all the way through her orgasm.






You should get a strap to pull it close to your body and help with the back swelling.  I negotiated frequent unlocks rather than permanent and the release is explosive :freewilly:


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28628057 - 01/20/24 02:31 AM (7 days, 17 hours ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
He just said I don't know
Makes him uncomfortable

Been happening a few years

Also said he has no interest in sex like he used to

The problem is he is the only one who orgasms



Sounds like you guys have some more talking ahead of you.
The "don't know" black box will have to be unpacked to see what kind of feelings and considerations are hidden in there.

Also, his lack of interest in sex is something you guys need to address; it's way more important than the ejaculation thing. Odds are something's up with your relationship/bond and it manifests in a lack of interest in sex, but part of the problem is likely elsewhere.

Time for some thorough 360 degree analysis of your relationship and some brutal honesty with yourselves.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28628105 - 01/20/24 05:20 AM (7 days, 14 hours ago)

Ii think he's got medical stuff going on and refuses to see a dr


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Invisiblekoraks
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28628153 - 01/20/24 06:12 AM (7 days, 13 hours ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Ii think he's got medical stuff going on and refuses to see a dr



Maybe. Maybe not.
You don't know until you have a straight talk together.

Your problem so far is evidently lack of effective communication. I'd work on that first because there's not a whole lot you can do until you improve that aspect of your relationship.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28628207 - 01/20/24 07:23 AM (7 days, 12 hours ago)

Many many attempts
Last one he said it makes him uncomfortable that he can't perform like he used to


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Anonymous #2

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #3] * 1
    #28628264 - 01/20/24 08:38 AM (7 days, 11 hours ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Sounds like he needs what my wife and I've got. A cock locked in chastity that never cums but is kept always eager to please, and a strap on with an identical clone of my cock (though slightly shorter due to being in the strap on) that also never cums but can keep fucking her all the way through her orgasm.






You should get a strap to pull it close to your body and help with the back swelling.  I negotiated frequent unlocks rather than permanent and the release is explosive :freewilly:




I have one but it pulled the cage up and created an almost constant hot spot on the bottom of my scrotum. Still looking at creating my own harness with 1-2 straps that pull the cage down as well as one that pulls it up and into the body.

Actually I really like not cumming so far. It's been 159 days since my last full orgasm and 54 days since my last ruined orgasm. I could foresee never cumming again as being pretty hot.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28628281 - 01/20/24 08:51 AM (7 days, 11 hours ago)

Hoping to find a solution. Don't really have the desire or energy to go elsewhere.
Known each other 20+ years but not in a committed monogamous relationship .
I really think it's a hurt ego, life changes,  busy lifestyle and physical changes. I don't know how to help him.


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,667
Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28628289 - 01/20/24 08:56 AM (7 days, 10 hours ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Many many attempts
Last one he said it makes him uncomfortable that he can't perform like he used to



Yeah, I imagine that's hard on him. Or at least it feels that way, I guess. Such feelings of insecurity/insufficiency are detrimental to just about anything. You've probably tried, but just in case - anything you can do to reassure him and make a safe(r) space for the both of you might help. As hard as it probably sounds/is, since you're struggling with this just as much. It remains important to remain receptive to the other person's struggle as well.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28628355 - 01/20/24 09:51 AM (7 days, 10 hours ago)

Excellent point
I appreciate that
Thank you


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28628382 - 01/20/24 10:21 AM (7 days, 9 hours ago)

If hes not open to communication, theres little you can do. Sexual dysfunction can be a pretty heavy stigma for some guys, especially if its rooted in deeper issues.


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Onlinepslyke
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #28632918 - 01/24/24 07:05 AM (3 days, 12 hours ago)

Sounds like he should get his testosterone checked. You mentioned low libido, premature ejaculation and difficulty maintaining a quality erection...

If he goes for testing it's important that he get a panel that includes many more things than just testosterone. He minimally needs total testosterone, free testosterone, SHGB, prolactin, estrogen, FSH, LH. It's important that the blood samples be collected before 10:00 am as circulating levels of testosterone are heavily influenced by time of day.

How old is your partner?


--------------------
"What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein

"The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante


:kratom:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28632920 - 01/24/24 07:08 AM (3 days, 12 hours ago)

49


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Onlinepslyke
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28632924 - 01/24/24 07:09 AM (3 days, 12 hours ago)

I would put money on low T


--------------------
"What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein

"The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante


:kratom:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28633030 - 01/24/24 08:37 AM (3 days, 11 hours ago)

Agree
And a hurt ego


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Offlineoursoulsinmotion
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Re: Question for men [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28634060 - 01/25/24 06:33 AM (2 days, 13 hours ago)

I love watchung the dudes who cant get it up 4 chicks @ the gloryhole shoots:canthelpbutlaugh:
Thts gotta b some ultimate voyuer emotional pain ur Anon but ppl will know yu cant get it up


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Invisiblekoraks
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Re: Question for men [Re: oursoulsinmotion] * 3
    #28635151 - 01/26/24 01:10 AM (1 day, 18 hours ago)

Quote:

oursoulsinmotion said:
I love watchung the dudes who cant get it up 4 chicks @ the gloryhole shoots:canthelpbutlaugh:
Thts gotta b some ultimate voyuer emotional pain ur Anon but ppl will know yu cant get it up



A few months ago my fiancee and I went to a party where I had a couple of guys fuck her. That's to say, we tried. Out of the 3 guys I corralled to her to have their way with her, only one managed to get it up (and he did a great job, too).

We did not laugh at, or about, the other two. One is a good friend of ours, the other was a swell (pun intended) guy who was very respectful etc. Both of them felt pretty bad about the whole thing, and I understand. I also understand how they didn't manage to perform under pressure with people watching etc.

It's easy to laugh about these things. You walk a mile in the other person's shoes, and it's a whole different story.


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Onlinepslyke
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Re: Question for men [Re: koraks]
    #28635234 - 01/26/24 05:18 AM (1 day, 14 hours ago)

Quote:

A few months ago my fiancee and I went to a party where I had a couple of guys fuck her. That's to say, we tried. Out of the 3 guys I corralled to her to have their way with her, only one managed to get it up (and he did a great job, too).

We did not laugh at, or about, the other two. One is a good friend of ours, the other was a swell (pun intended) guy who was very respectful etc. Both of them felt pretty bad about the whole thing, and I understand. I also understand how they didn't manage to perform under pressure with people watching etc.

It's easy to laugh about these things. You walk a mile in the other person's shoes, and it's a whole different story.




I'm throwing a party soon and you're invited :grin:


--------------------
"What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein

"The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante


:kratom:


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Invisiblekoraks
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Re: Question for men [Re: pslyke] * 1
    #28635270 - 01/26/24 06:25 AM (1 day, 13 hours ago)

Only if I bring my significant other, right!?


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: Question for men [Re: koraks]
    #28636386 - 01/27/24 01:40 AM (18 hours, 12 minutes ago)

Thats pretty wild! Not easy to get ready to get it on when under pressure. The female equivalent is a woman that cant get wet, which is quite rare, in my experience.


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Invisiblekoraks
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Re: Question for men [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #28636637 - 01/27/24 09:00 AM (10 hours, 52 minutes ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
Thats pretty wild! Not easy to get ready to get it on when under pressure. The female equivalent is a woman that cant get wet, which is quite rare, in my experience.



Yeah, but it happens. Or they do get wet, but impenetrable due to muscle tension, i.e. vaginism. Also happens. Or, much more common: can't cum. The point is, we're all humans and our bodies are fallible. Sometimes your body just says "fuck it" and throws in the towel. As you grow older, you learn to accept/laugh about it and find ways to work around it, insofar as the issue can't be solved.


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