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durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
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Quote:
men that just grab my breasts
I went bar hopping with one popular girl, who was greeted this way.
And, in a couple of seconds had to decide whether she had honor to defend.
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Anonymous #3
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I had two guys in school I avoided like the plague. It was very forceful and against my will He pinned me against the wall, locker, corner It's wrong I planned our my walk to every class to avoid them
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durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
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I wouldn't have let that happen. Very sorry.
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Anonymous #3
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Thank you
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: ashfiken]
#28621805 - 01/15/24 07:23 AM (12 days, 12 hours ago) |
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Quote:
ashfiken said: Kind of think it would be hot for me to be objectified by a woman. After being taught as a male in the US that you ought to provide, in various ways, to maintain any sort of relationship bc thats what is expected of you. And that provision, to me has always seemed quite lopsided.. What you can do for em, what you can produce, how much money you have to spend, how much can their tender emotional self rely on you. Not much provision for the male side in that arena.. In addition tobow down to everyone above you in the social hierarchy(just a poor hetero white guy,here), man or woman, bc you prefer not be in prison and have to make money to survive. When you are a weirdo and don't have the same drives or values as nearly everyone around you, bc you just want the simple shit, peace, affection, and few creature comforts..
Think itd be nice once in a while for a woman to just bang me or kiss me or engage or whatever me bc I am objectively attractive to them and nothing more. It's unweighted stroking of the ego, and not like that stroke cannot be returned to the other.. seems kinda positive. Think I'd handle the gaze. As an average male, I doubt to ever experience this, and for a woman, it is upsetting and damaging clearly.. And that is def a bug in the system where women have been fuxking traumatized in this world
I think being sexualized nonstop for everything plays into the confidence to assert yourself and initiate sex. Sometimes it's difficult to gauge who is and isnt safe. I've never been someone to ask if i look fat etc I also am confident with myself. Not everyone is. I read that I feel their insecurity.
The trauma can shape your view of the world. I rarely take a man complimenting on my appearance me as genuine. Which is a trauma based response. My appearance is based on what I like. I have never dressed for attention. Im also fairly modest. Thank you religious upbringing. I don't want that type of attention. It's dangerous It's very dangerous And you are not respected by the majority. Not something i seek.
Everyone has different experiences.
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Anonymous #3
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I spent a lot of my younger years intentionally dressing down and intentionally looking as unattractive as possible because I don't like being cat called or followed around stores or stared at or assaulted, which are all things that have happened because these men have an idea that women exist for their enjoyment andbassuming we are "dressing attractively" to "look good for men" feeds that concept.
This! I intentionally 95. 999% of the time dressing to not attract attention. Yet i dress up. I don't seek that attention. It's dangerous. Life threatening dangerous.
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durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
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But, you would agree that there is a difference between looking feminine and 'girls gone wild'. And, being overtly sexual does invite that kind of attention.
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Anonymous #3
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I think it's perception. I have friends who think an off the shoulder blouse is feminine. I find it sexual. Girls gone wild- like the show I've never done that. Idk what their motives are. I honestly think it's individualized I do think if you dress like the street walking prostitutes you'll attract the degrading attention they attract
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Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire



Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 13,533
Loc: United States
Last seen: 1 day, 13 hours
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Everyone should be able to dress however they want without being made to feel uncomfortable, not to mention assaulted. This is why women in particular should carry pepper spray and a concealed handgun. Fuck getting assaulted because you're attractive or you're dressed a certain way. Fuck 'em up.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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Anonymous #3
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I always freeze . You imagine you would respond aggressively and protect yourself. I freeze. I think I have learned how to avoid it. As much as you can.
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Nillion
Nobody

Registered: 04/14/22
Posts: 1,000
Loc: Terra Firma
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Regarding the OP, I've noticed similar things. I recall mentioning I liked a certain hairstyle once and a girl I knew then put her her up that way the next time I saw her. When they match your style, imitate your taste etc, its a sign of interest for sure.
As for some of the other discourse in this thread:
To my mind, Cassandra Peterson is a feminist. In her stage persona, Elvira, she was notorious for dressing in a way that was sexually provocative, but she also makes it clear that no matter what she says, or looks like, that doesn't give people the right to mistreat her or take advantage of her in any way. The fact that she did this while using a combination of Goth imagery, valley girl talk and Groucho Marx-like quips just makes her all the more entertaining.
I'd trade all the incels and their sharia law mentality towards women for just one of her.
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durian_2008
Cornucopian Eating an Elephant



Registered: 04/02/08
Posts: 16,666
Loc: Raccoon City
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Re: Women and Dressing Up [Re: Nillion]
#28622783 - 01/15/24 10:29 PM (11 days, 21 hours ago) |
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Since she was clearly not saving it for patriarchal marriage... When all those other people had sex with her before you... How would she be approached?
Were they doing something wrong?
What was the right way to follow through with your obvious intentions toward her?
Did you even try?
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