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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,795
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 58 minutes, 7 seconds
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Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck.
#28622718 - 01/15/24 08:57 PM (12 days, 17 hours ago) |
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It’s either not wanted women or baby mommas.
Both seem desperate but both are unattractive…
Should I give up on sex?
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Dr. Funtime
Wipes Sideways

Registered: 02/04/13
Posts: 134
Last seen: 5 days, 18 hours
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28622720 - 01/15/24 08:59 PM (12 days, 17 hours ago) |
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just go tranny
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WhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi



Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 3,773
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 2 days, 23 hours
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Dr. Funtime]
#28622730 - 01/15/24 09:08 PM (12 days, 17 hours ago) |
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That’s all you see out there?
P
-------------------- Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!! Eye was thinking the other day... ahh, thinking never done me no good.
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GenesisCorrupted
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist




Registered: 08/01/23
Posts: 7,184
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 8 minutes, 46 seconds
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28622756 - 01/15/24 09:44 PM (12 days, 17 hours ago) |
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You’re not looking hard enough.
 Plus, there are some very hot baby mamas out there.
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ManianFH
living in perverty



Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 19 hours, 7 minutes
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Yah from what I’ve heard it doesn’t get much easier with the 40s and 50s crowds…
I guess at these ages everybody has pretty much been through some shit. Feel for ya though, if I were you I would probably find a hobby you like and go to those social events until you vibe with someone. Probably low odds as well but at least you’re gonna hook up with someone who shares some common interests.
Good luck man
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: ManianFH] 2
#28622842 - 01/16/24 12:22 AM (12 days, 14 hours ago) |
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Quote:
ManianFH said: Yah from what I’ve heard it doesn’t get much easier with the 40s and 50s crowds…
I dunno about that; I think 30s is a challenging age in terms of dating. There's a pretty toxic mix of a couple of things (speaking mostly from a straight male's perspective):
Most people are taken. Simple as that. Demographics are against you. Some long-standing marriages are still going strong (or at least, strong enough), while some new marriages have already formed. Of course, this means you can still date, but there's always a complex situation to contend with in terms of polyamory or, more commonly, plain cheating. As a 'third', you usually end up pulling the short straw anyway.
Then, the ones who aren't together exhibit either one of the following traits:
* Have never been in a relationship. There's always good reasons why, and it's usually no fun to figure that out.
* Have recently broken up, often from a long-term commitment, and need to regain their footing. That's nice and all, but between disappointment in the breakup and figuring out who they are, these people don't always make very stable/dependable mates. Take this woman who seemed all nice, and when it came to her divorce, I asked how long it had been since they separated and she said "well not quite yet, but we're dating again, or at least I am - no, we're still living together as a family and I think he's alright with the thought of me dating again..." Alright. Great. How about you figure out your life for a minute and then report back. Bye.
* In connection with the above: kids should have been around by now, but aren't, so thanks for the dinner hon it was lovely and yes we can have sex WILL WE MAKE BABIES ARE YOU GOING TO FATHER THEM MY OVARIES ARE BURSTING. Which can be interesting because the sex can be totally amazing - until you figure out it's not about you. Great if you also have bursting ovaries/balls and the burning desire to procreate, of course. By all means, indulge, but please do take a good look at the other end of the table before you make the gonads wiggle. They might be (seem) biologically fit, but are you emotionally compatible as well?
* Again in connection with the above: thanks for the dinner hon, it was lovely and yes we can do sexy ti...oh sorry, gotta run, this diaper smells full - can you hand me a fresh one please, and fold this one up? I swear John was supposed to take care of Junior this weekend but he had to fly off to Honolulu for work (with his new girl, the bitch is 10 years his junior and did you see the fake tits on that one!?)
* Insofar as the above doesn't apply, you also find that contrary to your teens or twenties, by the time you've hit your thirties, you (and any interested parties) have figured out what makes you tick, and that also means you've become a little more picky in terms of potential partners. So forget about "let's give it a go, you look nice and I'm horny" and prepare for some thorough rounds of mutual soul-searching. After all, the next one will be The One and Only Right One, this time for sure!!
By age 40-50, things tend to have crystallized out. Kids have grown up and are more self-reliant, so less likely to spoil a good date, and making them has mostly become a non-issue. People have mostly mellowed out a little and are more jaded have a more of a sense of realism. People are generally also more confident as they pass 40, which generally helps in negotiating the early phases of a relationship.
And women in their mid 40s are sexually in their prime...
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28622872 - 01/16/24 02:10 AM (12 days, 12 hours ago) |
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Just tell 'em you think they'll be dead before 2030.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Sofaking420



Registered: 02/09/18
Posts: 1,126
Loc: Myco mountain
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Asante] 4
#28622886 - 01/16/24 02:50 AM (12 days, 12 hours ago) |
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Having been single the last 3 years and being 35 I agree the dating scene is a weird thing.
Its ether booty calls or straight up crazy after a few dates.
Or I want you to be my kids step dad.
I've tried a few dating sites and have had a few short but pretty cool relationships and a few that I wish I had never met the women.
Currently talking to an women I dated 12 years ago that's smoking hot, we've been friends for ever and been talking more and more getting to know each other as adults.
For the first time in a long time im real excited and interested in a women besides sex, and I hope this goes somewhere but if it don't that's cool too.
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,470
Last seen: 12 hours, 59 minutes
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Sofaking420]
#28622948 - 01/16/24 05:39 AM (12 days, 9 hours ago) |
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It takes way more rejection and searching then it should. I feel like the problem is these women can filter out matches that don't make as much money as they want you to make. I think that's total crap. But yeah it's absolutely brutal. My brother tried tinder and pof for a while. Met one woman that was as big as a house and wanted to have sex with him in the house where she still lived with her husband so he rightfully ran for the hills.
Then he "dated" more like fucked this chick that had a kid with her father and a lifetime of abuse, meth use etc. I believe she had herpes. She was string out by the time they broke up and she was getting blackout drunk every night, calling her ex husband yelling that she be able to see the kids more. Very agressive, destroyed teeth she was weird.
He finally met a cool chick but that was through osrs she turned out to be real and he's actually visiting her right now.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 3 hours, 25 minutes
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Just date women that are closer to 20. Less baggage. Instead of sorting thru mostly undesirable women, sort thru women that are desirable. Then you are only combing desirable women for one single factor, maturity/intelligence Much better fodder imo.
Ppl by the time they are 30ish are much more likely to be traumatized, bogged down, or just plain batshit(likely why still available). I don't know the best ways to access these younger women per se, but I'm sure a creative and determined mind could figure it out. Working in a college town comes to mind.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: ashfiken]
#28622964 - 01/16/24 05:59 AM (12 days, 8 hours ago) |
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Quote:
ashfiken said: Just date women that are closer to 20. Less baggage.
Also less mature and less likely to result in a rewarding relationship. This will be fine if all you're looking for is to get your dick wet, but I think most of us have our aims set a little higher than that in life.
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ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: koraks]
#28622965 - 01/16/24 06:00 AM (12 days, 8 hours ago) |
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Refer to what I said to comb for
There will be some/few women nearer that age bracket that aren't idiots and are smart enough to desire a marriage and family or whatever you are referring to.
Might as well considering the 30s age range doesn't provide much improvement themselves either in this department. Humans in general are idiots no matter the age
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
Edited by ashfiken (01/16/24 06:02 AM)
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: ashfiken] 3
#28622968 - 01/16/24 06:00 AM (12 days, 8 hours ago) |
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You can comb all you want, but a 23-year old doesn't have the life experience of a 35-year old. By the time you're approaching 40, that sort of thing starts to matter.
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Mystikal
Arranger



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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: koraks]
#28622974 - 01/16/24 06:13 AM (12 days, 8 hours ago) |
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I haven't even tried dating and I'm late 30's. I still hook up with my ex once in a while and get the odd escort.
-------------------- Not all those who wander are lost
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ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: koraks]
#28622981 - 01/16/24 06:18 AM (12 days, 8 hours ago) |
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By life experi3nce do you mean traumatized and beaten down? Do you mean in tow with a child or more? Experience means baggage imo. Why highlight that as a positive? Or worse yet; by experience do you mean fucked by who knows how many men before you? This "experience" you speak of doesn't seem highly valuable for a partner imo, unless there is some valuable experience they would have gained that I am unaware of. A mature 20 y/o will always be more desirable than a 30 y/o. Not to menti9n women after 30 start to fall off real quick on the ability to "give you a child" metric>> if that was part of the higher aims you were referring to
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: ashfiken] 1
#28623010 - 01/16/24 06:44 AM (12 days, 8 hours ago) |
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Life experience accrues from the sum of all experiences - positive, negative and neutral ones.
You make it seem like anyone beyond 30 is damaged goods and should be shunned. I hope I'll never be as pessimistic and jaded as that. I think you're also disqualifying yourself from a large part of society by taking that stance. Too bad; I hope your outlook will improve, for your own good as well as the people you'll associate with. I imagine it's no fun for the women over 30 to come across someone as cynical as yourself...
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ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 3 hours, 25 minutes
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: koraks]
#28623018 - 01/16/24 06:59 AM (12 days, 7 hours ago) |
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Most Are damaged it's simply the honest truth. There will always be outliers. Shunning not necessary. Simply put my explanations are why the op finds it so hard. I don't imagine it will do me much good to improve my thinking here.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,332
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28623036 - 01/16/24 07:25 AM (12 days, 7 hours ago) |
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And women in their mid 40s are sexually in their prime...
True! It hit me like a Mac truck! Around 45. You have the desire of a 18 year old boy Its wild! Can be fun and frustrating. Dating has changed. I got divorced in 2019 and had pretty much been married since 1992. Things changed a lot.
Online dating was weird to me. Everyone sends dick pics and I am not into that. I didn't know anything about fwb or dtf. It was like twilight zone to me. So online dating, I didn't like it. I ended up dating people I knew .
The pool of available singles is smaller. Thats definitely true. People are older and more settled into whatever their lifestyle is. Which can often mean their issues are issues that have been around for awhile. And people get bitter. I find it easier to pick out who isn't right for you.
I don't really understand the looking for a dad for their kids statement. I never allowed anyone around my kids.
And it is always weird to me to be hit on by young young men. People are brave behind a screen. Online is definitely different.
I wouldn't give up. Be open and try to not get discouraged. Takes awhile to know a person as opposed to what they post.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: ashfiken] 1
#28623042 - 01/16/24 07:31 AM (12 days, 7 hours ago) |
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Quote:
ashfiken said: Most Are damaged it's simply the honest truth.
Sorry you feel that way. It's you though, not them. If anyone with life experience is 'damaged' according to you, that's really your problem, not that of the rest of the world.
Good luck.
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,332
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28623050 - 01/16/24 07:39 AM (12 days, 7 hours ago) |
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I think maturity is awesome. People learn, grow and become better versions of themselves. You often find divorcees who grew apart because of that reason. There are amazing single people out there. Stay open minded and optimistic.
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viraldrome



Registered: 09/21/18
Posts: 4,049
Loc: Parts Unknown
Last seen: 11 hours, 2 minutes
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: loladoreen] 1
#28623099 - 01/16/24 08:24 AM (12 days, 6 hours ago) |
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My friend ordered wife from Philippine came in a box and everything. He seems happy
https://www.rosebrides.com/philippine-brides.html
-------------------- Lysergamides I have tried so far: 1P-LSD, 1cP-LSD, ALD-52, AL-LAD, LSZ, ETH-LAD, MIPLA, EIPLA, 1cP-AL-LAD
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,332
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: viraldrome]
#28623141 - 01/16/24 08:57 AM (12 days, 5 hours ago) |
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I guess it works for some people. Would not work for me.
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,332
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28623142 - 01/16/24 08:58 AM (12 days, 5 hours ago) |
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You can get husbands also!!!! A lot are from the US.
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viraldrome



Registered: 09/21/18
Posts: 4,049
Loc: Parts Unknown
Last seen: 11 hours, 2 minutes
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: loladoreen]
#28623176 - 01/16/24 09:27 AM (12 days, 5 hours ago) |
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I just want a robot girlfriend
-------------------- Lysergamides I have tried so far: 1P-LSD, 1cP-LSD, ALD-52, AL-LAD, LSZ, ETH-LAD, MIPLA, EIPLA, 1cP-AL-LAD
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trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: viraldrome]
#28623182 - 01/16/24 09:31 AM (12 days, 5 hours ago) |
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Quote:
viraldrome said: My friend ordered wife from Philippine came in a box and everything. He seems happy
https://www.rosebrides.com/philippine-brides.html
Hows that even legally work? They can only come to the US for 180 days on their travel visa, are you supposed to marry them within 180 days of them arriving to get their green card?
--------------------
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,332
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28623214 - 01/16/24 09:57 AM (12 days, 4 hours ago) |
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I checked it out. It is more of a dating site. Though brides are advertised.
Edited by loladoreen (01/16/24 09:59 AM)
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viraldrome



Registered: 09/21/18
Posts: 4,049
Loc: Parts Unknown
Last seen: 11 hours, 2 minutes
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: trees]
#28623232 - 01/16/24 10:14 AM (12 days, 4 hours ago) |
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Quote:
trees said:
Quote:
viraldrome said: My friend ordered wife from Philippine came in a box and everything. He seems happy
https://www.rosebrides.com/philippine-brides.html
Hows that even legally work? They can only come to the US for 180 days on their travel visa, are you supposed to marry them within 180 days of them arriving to get their green card?
My friend is not American, I am not asking him what the return policy is, you probably have to pay shipping
-------------------- Lysergamides I have tried so far: 1P-LSD, 1cP-LSD, ALD-52, AL-LAD, LSZ, ETH-LAD, MIPLA, EIPLA, 1cP-AL-LAD
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ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 3 hours, 25 minutes
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: koraks]
#28623240 - 01/16/24 10:19 AM (12 days, 4 hours ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
ashfiken said: Most Are damaged it's simply the honest truth.
Sorry you feel that way. It's you though, not them. If anyone with life experience is 'damaged' according to you, that's really your problem, not that of the rest of the world.
Good luck.
Damage comes from trauma not what you are classing as experience. It sucks but most have suffered some sort of sexual, emotional, or social trauma. I don't create these issues. But to deny they are even there or are non existent or somehow "my" problem is laughable. I wish everyone was a well adjusted and experienced capable human. However wishing doesn't make things true. I'm not making some emotional charged opinion piece here. Again I ask what "experience" exactly are you claiming qualifies someone to be a good partner? What "life experience" makes someone a good wife vs someone that hasn't been nearly as traumatized? Luck gets one abt as far as wishful thinking
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,332
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: ashfiken]
#28623247 - 01/16/24 10:22 AM (12 days, 4 hours ago) |
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Quote:
ashfiken said:
Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
ashfiken said: Most Are damaged it's simply the honest truth.
Sorry you feel that way. It's you though, not them. If anyone with life experience is 'damaged' according to you, that's really your problem, not that of the rest of the world.
Good luck.
Damage comes from trauma not what you are classing as experience. It sucks but most have suffered some sort of sexual, emotional, or social trauma. I don't create these issues. But to deny they are even there or are non existent or somehow "my" problem is laughable. I wish everyone was a well adjusted and experienced capable human. However wishing doesn't make things true. I'm not making some emotional charged opinion piece here. Again I ask what "experience" exactly are you claiming qualifies someone to be a good partner? What "life experience" makes someone a good wife vs someone that hasn't been nearly as traumatized? Luck gets one abt as far as wishful thinking
I would be more gravitated to someone with life experience. Than not. Personal preference. I enjoy being around people that have lived and desire more living. I admire personal growth in others. And EVERYONE has something, some sort of trauma.
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ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
Last seen: 3 hours, 25 minutes
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: loladoreen]
#28623297 - 01/16/24 10:53 AM (12 days, 4 hours ago) |
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You are a woman though, no? Men and women want and desire completely different things for different reasons.
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,332
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28623298 - 01/16/24 10:54 AM (12 days, 4 hours ago) |
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Agree When speaking, I am only speaking for myself, not as a representative for anyone but myself.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,659
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: loladoreen] 1
#28623305 - 01/16/24 10:58 AM (12 days, 3 hours ago) |
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Sex is for procreation. If you want to feel good then smoke some weed. If you are lonely then find a good friend.
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28623344 - 01/16/24 11:31 AM (12 days, 3 hours ago) |
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A lot of single mamas out there. Ready to be a step father? Im not so sure that i am....
Theres also some women who seem out of my league such as world travellers or women with really high intelligence or prestigious careers. Pretty intimidating to be honest. I have seen some rare mature women around my age who are attractive, smart, interesting, no kids and never been married. But are they real? I sure hope so. They would be my first pick. But they usually live kinda far away.
It is hard as fuck to date at this age. For me currently, its the money. I just dont have money for dating and frequent travelling. Hopefully, that will change someday....
But until then, i think i'll just stay single and visit the Dance Club once in awhile
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,795
Loc: Ottawa
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: viraldrome] 2
#28624051 - 01/16/24 09:36 PM (11 days, 17 hours ago) |
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Quote:
viraldrome said: I just want a robot girlfriend
That is by far the most optimal option in the world. 100% programed positives. 0% negatives.
Why didn’t I think of that…
--------------------
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28624084 - 01/16/24 10:17 PM (11 days, 16 hours ago) |
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Start saving up! They are coming soon maybe in a year or so
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: ashfiken] 1
#28624143 - 01/17/24 12:36 AM (11 days, 14 hours ago) |
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Quote:
ashfiken said: Damage comes from trauma not what you are classing as experience. It sucks but most have suffered some sort of sexual, emotional, or social trauma. I don't create these issues. But to deny they are even there or are non existent or somehow "my" problem is laughable. I wish everyone was a well adjusted and experienced capable human. However wishing doesn't make things true. I'm not making some emotional charged opinion piece here. Again I ask what "experience" exactly are you claiming qualifies someone to be a good partner? What "life experience" makes someone a good wife vs someone that hasn't been nearly as traumatized? Luck gets one abt as far as wishful thinking
We're all damaged bro. Most people experience some kind of childhood trauma. 20-somethings are play-acting out/responding to whatever they saw their parents do, without knowing it. They aren't the pure undamaged goods you're idealizing.
Experience means they've been with some people, made some mistakes and learned from them (hopefully). It means they've recognized their traumas and have worked through them (hopefully).
I think dating at any age is hard They can be hot as fuck- but if they are dumb, or have different beliefs, or don't want the same things, or snore too loud, or any other million things- it ain't gonna work. You always have to decide what you can live with.
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OutsideOfMyMind
LSD Self Administrative Director


Registered: 10/05/20
Posts: 5,380
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Lynnch]
#28624147 - 01/17/24 01:02 AM (11 days, 13 hours ago) |
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Women are all beat and jaded these days.
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Mystikal
Arranger



Registered: 11/13/21
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-------------------- Not all those who wander are lost
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ashfiken
TotalCrazyasshole


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 3,072
Loc: SCranton
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Lynnch] 1
#28624202 - 01/17/24 05:15 AM (11 days, 9 hours ago) |
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Quote:
Lynnch said:
Quote:
ashfiken said: Damage comes from trauma not what you are classing as experience. It sucks but most have suffered some sort of sexual, emotional, or social trauma. I don't create these issues. But to deny they are even there or are non existent or somehow "my" problem is laughable. I wish everyone was a well adjusted and experienced capable human. However wishing doesn't make things true. I'm not making some emotional charged opinion piece here. Again I ask what "experience" exactly are you claiming qualifies someone to be a good partner? What "life experience" makes someone a good wife vs someone that hasn't been nearly as traumatized? Luck gets one abt as far as wishful thinking
We're all damaged bro. Most people experience some kind of childhood trauma. 20-somethings are play-acting out/responding to whatever they saw their parents do, without knowing it. They aren't the pure undamaged goods you're idealizing.
Experience means they've been with some people, made some mistakes and learned from them (hopefully). It means they've recognized their traumas and have worked through them (hopefully).
I think dating at any age is hard They can be hot as fuck- but if they are dumb, or have different beliefs, or don't want the same things, or snore too loud, or any other million things- it ain't gonna work. You always have to decide what you can live with.
Nobody is saying that we aren't "all" damaged to some degree. (Pr3tty sad having to admit that tho ain't it)? I don't see how you can blanket that abt 20 somethings. But I would agree that you are generally corr3ct concerning the majority. If you see my posts I said comb for maturity. You seem to think I idealize this age of women. Hardly. Having to comb them for maturity belies the fact that most of them will be unsuitable fools. Not that I think they are all pure things to idolize. But atleast they are prime age for child bearing, and have less chance to have been with 40 different mates. I think it's difficult for women bc they are exposed to so much trauma (generally more than men) As a man have you ever been raped or sexually assaulted?? Women that live longer typically suffer more. And more than men. Women also lose the ability to fucking procreate.. Very oftentim3s the more experience a woman has (been with more than 5 partners) Increases the likelihood they will divorce. So good luck with all that VALUABLE experience Your hopefullys make me think you know the truth. Bc most ppl don't learn no matter the experiences. They suffer traumas and build avoidance strategies at best, and suffer the same things over and over at worst.
If suggested options somehow show I idealize something then I think you guys are reading way more into things than what is reasonable. Relationships are the hardest thing in the world to get right, so more options suggested the better. Instead yall in here barking about the "experience" ones like they are some higher value option and are (just as I am) excluding a whole group of possible mates/humans. Hell if she is a good woman idgaf what age she is, but I'm def not gonna align my preferenc3 to baby moms and crazy broads that have been stepped on just enough to fuck em up royally for any potential husband
-------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List
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Purple sunset



Registered: 02/14/21
Posts: 1,698
Loc: No Path
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: ashfiken]
#28624246 - 01/17/24 07:01 AM (11 days, 7 hours ago) |
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I just turned 30 and was hopeful it would be easier. After being isolated for almost all of my 20s
Chicks with kids never bothered me
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christopera
Stranger


Registered: 10/13/17
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Purple sunset] 3
#28624396 - 01/17/24 09:49 AM (11 days, 5 hours ago) |
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I just divorced, well it was over a year ago, and I have managed to find a person I'd consider my girlfriend. I will say, I met so many women that would share their number. We'd talk about going out, would cross paths in overlapping social scenes, then nothing. Gone in a week. Then when I see them again I always make a habit of asking when we would get that date in. Not because I want it, but I want them to think about the fact they ghosted me instead of saying, "hey, it's not going to work out." And i'd be like "okay, cool, very nice to get to know a little bit. Good luck!"
Anyways, I find it pretty easy to talk to women. I am 5'6", a little overweight (not terrible), 38 and divorced as a single father, but I try to present semi well. The point is, I am not some stud of a man the pussy just falls into my lap, I have to work for it. If I see a woman I find attractive at like a concert and I get chance to say hi I just do it. Even stupid tricks like thumb wrestling a woman or playing hot hands can get you in the door. A while back I brought home a 56 year old from out of state simply by asking her if she wanted to hear a joke. The joke was an original written by me, that started the convo, a few hours later we were smashing. We've kept in touch, but I am a little taken now. You have to put yourself in social situations that attract women you like. For me, I kind of follow around local jam band scene as there a lot of single women in my dateable age group. Yes some have kids, but I have one too. Not having kids and not wanting the mate to have kids at these ages are really limiting your range of options. Also, I have never done datings apps. They are a waste of time, but when I have told women this they often find it attractive. It's adds exclusivity, they know you aren't trying to fuck around. So tell them you don't use the apps, that its nice to meet them, and ask for a number. Start some sort of convo before that. Or something.
Finally, as for the girlfriend, we met at my sons bus stop. She asked me for coffee. We didn't go too hard for a while, but things are getting there now. It's nice that we are neighbors too. We get to sneak around while the kids are off to school or whatever. haha
Long story short, it's all about demographics and find your way to get the ones you like. It could be as simple as Dungeon and Dragons, Magic the Gather, festivals, weed.
-------------------- Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result. A Dorito is pizza, change my mind. Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things I’m sorry it had to be me.
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GenesisCorrupted
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist




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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: christopera]
#28625138 - 01/17/24 07:23 PM (10 days, 19 hours ago) |
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So let me get this straight. You’re going to tell us this great life advice. But you aren’t going to tell the joke?!
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christopera
Stranger


Registered: 10/13/17
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I never claimed to write great jokes, though I do often write jokes.
-------------------- Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result. A Dorito is pizza, change my mind. Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things I’m sorry it had to be me.
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Peopleschoice
Novice Shroom grower

Registered: 12/23/23
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal] 3
#28625157 - 01/17/24 07:35 PM (10 days, 19 hours ago) |
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Just don't sex.
21 year old virgin, so speaking from experience. Sex is overrated, try drugs instead!
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Peopleschoice] 1
#28625170 - 01/17/24 07:38 PM (10 days, 19 hours ago) |
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Somethings are just better left unknown
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GenesisCorrupted
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist




Registered: 08/01/23
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Peopleschoice] 2
#28625175 - 01/17/24 07:40 PM (10 days, 19 hours ago) |
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Quote:
Peopleschoice said: Just don't sex.
 No.
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,555
Loc: Utah
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal]
#28625217 - 01/17/24 08:01 PM (10 days, 18 hours ago) |
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Try meeting people in person instead of online. Online dating is hell, don't do it. Meet people in person instead. Any kind of in-person dating is better than every kind of online dating put together.
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Big_Dub
I'm just some guy



Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 2,639
Loc: Los Angeles
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In my 30s. I am a smart, tall attractive man. I have no problems talking to girls... my problem is I just live outside of town.
I drive into town for work and then head home to take care of my animals. On the weekends I usually gotta do housework.
I have a great living situation and I'm saving lots of cash, but at the expense of not being able to meet lots of people.
-------------------- split_by_nine said: click me you fuck do the right thing
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Big_Dub]
#28625297 - 01/17/24 08:53 PM (10 days, 18 hours ago) |
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Quote:
Big_Dub said: In my 30s. I am a smart, tall attractive man. I have no problems talking to girls... my problem is I just live outside of town.
I drive into town for work and then head home to take care of my animals. On the weekends I usually gotta do housework.
I have a great living situation and I'm saving lots of cash, but at the expense of not being able to meet lots of people.
Are you me minus the animals? Lol
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Joh.Ke
Stranger
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Big_Dub]
#28625298 - 01/17/24 08:54 PM (10 days, 18 hours ago) |
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I thinking meeting girls (or guys) in person instead of online is good advice. I find that people are usually very different in real life compared to their online persona. It really sucks to talk to someone for quite a while, only to find that you are not attracted to them when you meet. And I don't mean they looking nothing like their pictures that they showed you. They can be totally ok-looking in real life but somehow you just aren't attracted. This to me is a huge time-waster.
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Big_Dub
I'm just some guy



Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 2,639
Loc: Los Angeles
Last seen: 2 hours, 15 minutes
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Joh.Ke]
#28625367 - 01/17/24 10:15 PM (10 days, 16 hours ago) |
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I know it's an excuse, but I am a teacher so I am talking all day long. So by the end of the day I am mentally exhausted and the last thing I want to do is try to meet people.
I have been trying to go to a coffee shop and do something for about an hr b4 I go home tho. I go to gym about 5 days a week, but not really trying to meet people there
Small town living is great, but not for meeting ppl
-------------------- split_by_nine said: click me you fuck do the right thing
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loladoreen


Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,332
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Big_Dub]
#28625372 - 01/17/24 10:25 PM (10 days, 16 hours ago) |
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Quote:
Big_Dub said: I know it's an excuse, but I am a teacher so I am talking all day long. So by the end of the day I am mentally exhausted and the last thing I want to do is try to meet people.
I have been trying to go to a coffee shop and do something for about an hr b4 I go home tho. I go to gym about 5 days a week, but not really trying to meet people there
Small town living is great, but not for meeting ppl
Same
I don't like talking at the gym
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JonBongGroovy


Registered: 01/23/15
Posts: 2,873
Loc: Hawaii
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: Patlal] 1
#28625375 - 01/17/24 10:34 PM (10 days, 16 hours ago) |
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I'm 38 and I'm still not sure if I wanna date anyone my life got too fucked up......
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OutsideOfMyMind
LSD Self Administrative Director


Registered: 10/05/20
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: JonBongGroovy]
#28626351 - 01/18/24 06:38 PM (9 days, 20 hours ago) |
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Being a grown up is fucking lonely. All your friends are at work, you can't meet anyone because they're at work or they're at home because they're too tired from work. Nobody has time to make friends. It's bullshit.
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Blue Cthulhu
Undefined


Registered: 05/27/19
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^ But how much is that unique to our generation. What happened to the days when the clan would get together and PARTY!!!?
Now everyone stays inside, eats an edible, and plugs their brain into a device.
-------------------- "Things are true that I forget, but no one taught that to me yet." A disembodied-re-embodied consciousness be-ing (With all the accoutrements.)
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,659
Last seen: 1 hour, 2 minutes
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Quote:
OutsideOfMyMind said: Being a grown up is fucking lonely. All your friends are at work, you can't meet anyone because they're at work or they're at home because they're too tired from work. Nobody has time to make friends. It's bullshit.
I have designated days to hang out with some of my friends. A lot of times I'll just have one of my good friends come over and chill at my place, no need to go out and do stuff.
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Big_Dub
I'm just some guy



Registered: 01/12/11
Posts: 2,639
Loc: Los Angeles
Last seen: 2 hours, 15 minutes
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Re: Dating in your 30s is hard as fuck. [Re: spirit_shadow]
#28626449 - 01/18/24 08:27 PM (9 days, 18 hours ago) |
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My long time friends either have kids/wife (understandable) or never amounted to anything i.e. no job, money, etc
I made lots of friends during uni, but geography separates us
-------------------- split_by_nine said: click me you fuck do the right thing
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