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Anonymous #1
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How did you "carry on"?
#28617023 - 01/10/24 11:23 PM (17 days, 13 hours ago) |
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Looking for some input from people who went through tough times and hopefully found the light at the end of the tunnel.
Long story short, 2023 has been a pretty rough year for me and judging by how 2024 started it doesn't seem to become any easier.
I was hoping things are going to become a little easier, but that doesn't seem to happen anytime soon and currently I feel pretty much tired. I need a lot of strength to carry on doing what needs to be done (which mainly is being successful in my job and stay functional overall).
How did you manage to get through challenging times?
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Deemstar
Doctor Deemstar



Registered: 10/11/12
Posts: 883
Loc: The void
Last seen: 14 days, 16 hours
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Thoughts distract you from the present.
-------------------- Gnome-miii-odd JAH!!! Pasta-far-eye! R.I.P. Georgie poor G A.K.A. Jorgon Lucy
Edited by Deemstar (01/11/24 12:34 AM)
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Anonymous #2
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During times of emotional difficulty doing my best to maintain a healthy diet and getting exercise to keep myself in shape helped me a lot.
It can be difficult if you are experiencing homelessness or other related issues. I had a fellow bring me a joint and canned food nearly every day one winter to help keep me alive.
But focusing on keeping your mind and body as strong as you can will help a lot, I think.
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Kryptos
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/14
Posts: 12,258
Last seen: 1 day, 1 hour
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Day at a time, I s'pose.
That's all you gotta do.
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Anonymous #3
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Forced myself Forced myself to Do daily things/ chores/tasks
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Joh.Ke
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/23
Posts: 346
Last seen: 3 minutes, 18 seconds
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Challenging how? Are you talking about relationship issues, work issues, or?
Right now I am struggling with my weight, but other than making me look fat, it doesn't bother me too too much. Work-wise I am trying to find a job, am currently unemployed, which doesn't bother me, either. I'd say 2024 is looking to be a good year for me.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: How did you "carry on"? [Re: Joh.Ke] 1
#28619520 - 01/13/24 08:58 AM (15 days, 4 hours ago) |
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Thanks for the input. So I see meditation, exercise and the discipline that comes with these activities are the way. That's what I basically did to get through 2023 and I guess it's what I'll continue to do in 2024.
There was just a stretch of two weeks were I couldn't even get myself to do these things. Only things I had to absolutely do in order to not get into trouble were what I could manage to do. You can imagine that was quite a drag, especially since I could observe myself spiralling, but haven't had the energy to do something about it. Thanks for the inspiration everyone, I managed to get into my old routine again.
Quote:
Joh.Ke said: Challenging how? Are you talking about relationship issues, work issues, or?
I'm in the middle of a divorce and children are involved. They're are the most important people in my life and I can't be always there for them the way I used to be.
My job actually benefits of the situation, as it's a good distraction.
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Anonymous #2
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I have faith in your ability to make it through this and come out better and wiser for it.
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Anonymous #3
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Divorce is horrible. Learning to parent while you are adjusting, healing,purging and finding your way is hard. The children's stability and emotional health needs to be important. You can do it successfully. Be mindful of your words around them and what they hear. They need unconditional love and need to know you are there always. Even if circumstance change. Your love never waivers. Difficult time for all, but has potential to to be the best thing for all. Stay focused. Cry when needed, talk about your feelings, prioritize what is important. Do things to keep you healthy or get yourself healthy. Good luck. You will do amazing... keep on... It will be as good as you want it to be.
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks so much, both of you.
Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: I have faith in your ability to make it through this and come out better and wiser for it.
You're right, I have learned quite a lot during the course of last year and this year it's surely not going to be much different. At times I just get tired and that's when I need to remind myself of everything Anon#3 said.
... because in the end it's the children are the victims here. I am worried what all this will do to them. I envisioned their childhood differently and I hope they'll make it through it ok.
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Anonymous #3
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They will be ok. Most important thing you can give them is unconditional love and knowing you are there, available, and they can rely and trust you. How old are the kids?
Allow yourself to grieve. Dont' get stuck in it... keep going forward
And turn all the negativity into motivation to provide security, love and showing affection to your children. Keep going forward. There are a lot of good parents and stable healthy children from divorces.
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Anonymous #3
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When I felt like I could not go on .... I got through it with my desire for my children to have the best I can give them. Even when dying inside... I could not allow them to be harmed. That is only my experience. Find something that deeply motivates you Seek therapy Start a hobby. Dig deep
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: How old are the kids?
They are 3 and 6 years old.
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Anonymous #3 said: That is only my experience. Find something that deeply motivates you Seek therapy Start a hobby. Dig deep
Thanks again for your input and seeing that you went through this, your experience is exactly what I can learn from.
Most of your suggestions resonate with what my gut feeling told me to do. I got some nice hobbies that I neglected a bit lately due to my current workload and the state of mind that made me start this thread. I'll get back into them whenever I can't spend with my children or when I don't have to work.
Therapy is too expensive over here, but I feel I can cope without, as long as I get myself to spend time in nature or meditate.
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Anonymous #4
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Ideally do these things everyday to make it habitual but don't beat yourself up if you miss a day, just get back on that wagon and continue on.
Journal List 3-10 things you're grateful for that day Exercise, every little bit helps Do something nurturing for yourself Rate your day in comparison to your worst/best day
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Freedom
Pigment of your imagination



Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 5,850
Last seen: 10 minutes, 32 seconds
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My life was hell for 10 years. I had severe trauma as a child, and became severely dissociated to cope with it. I had no friends and no success at school or sports or anywhere.
What I had was the desire to get out of that hell. So I tried everything I could. I failed and failed and failed and failed. For 10 years I was alone and tortured by my mind.
Then one day something briefly worked. Like someone smiled at me. A little thing. One little success.
And then fail, fail, fail.
And then a little success, like someone showed interest in me.
And then fail, fail, fail.
And then I read that running was as effective as prosac for depression. So I started running, and it felt good.
And it went on like that. Slowly learning from each little success. And along the way there were sudden shifts, things that seemed unimaginable sometimes suddenly opened up.
Now I look back on that hell with gratitude, for I learned so much from it, and it created this way of looking at life and growing and learning.
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skOsH
Functionally dysfunctional



Registered: 07/03/19
Posts: 1,372
Loc: the PNW
Last seen: 1 day, 8 hours
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Re: How did you "carry on"? [Re: Freedom]
#28628386 - 01/20/24 10:28 AM (8 days, 2 hours ago) |
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I don't believe I have weighed in on this
I don't have children, but I would die for my family, doesn't matter which member of them. Same with my best friend.
But yeah, the thought of my family being without me, despite myself thinking I am insignificant, would probably be horrific. I am imagining a scenario where one of them isn't there, and it's just depressing
So, in my darkest moments, I push on, mostly for my nephews because they both seem to be very impressionable with me and I want to be the good uncle
Break the centuries long chain of alcohol abuse and cigarettes. Well, I mean, I still use a lot of alcohol, but I was clean for 4.75 years. Then nonsense started happening with my work/life situation that was just as frustrating as covid. Only thing was, I was more frustrated and worried about mandates than getting covid, because I already got it once, and proceeded to never get it again.
Point being, life is a shit show. Some parts of life are really great, sometimes it completely sucks and I've been at the tip top of the mountain and at the bottom of the deepest chasm, mentally speaking. Before I was put on ketamine daily (there was no other option for me with my psych), I was a constant wreck and I would have terrifying flashbacks of my ptsd that happened, about almost half a lifetime ago.
Now, considering the position I am in, I am perfectly content.
As long as I can just get enough scratch to get the hell outta my current living situation, get a well functioning car, and then find my real talent and monetize it will I truly be complete.
Journal. Write poetry. You'd be surprised at how well you can write it, after a few tries.
Drawing / sketching is also helpful. At least, it has been for me.
I would advise against any anti depressants at this time, because you're not in the best of mindsets, and ssri's and antidepressants by and large are mostly placebo effect, and I don't want you having more negative thoughts than you might already have.
The best thing that helped me? Aside from psychedelics, has been drawing, writing, playing video games, running/exercise, meditation, and, when weather permits, sitting in the sunshine in a remote area by a trail, sitting and having the sunlight hit your face. Bonus points if birds are chirping as well and it's comfortably warm out.
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