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Anonymous #3
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No surprises really. I'm a little kinky, not too much into bdsm stuff although I do like to play a little rough sometimes and really enjoy seeing my woman recieve pleasure. I wish our relationship was better so it could happen more often. We used to talk a little about threesomes but she said it could only be mfm and she wouldn't do fmf because she couldn't "share me". I'd be willing to do mfm but not if she's unwilling to go the other way
== Results from bdsmtest.org == 84% Experimentalist 79% Voyeur 78% Switch 77% Non-monogamist 75% Dominant 74% Degrader 71% Master/Mistress 67% Rigger 64% Exhibitionist 51% Sadist 42% Primal (Hunter) 38% Vanilla 37% Submissive 33% Brat tamer 33% Brat 30% Owner 30% Rope bunny 21% Primal (Prey) 16% Masochist 9% Daddy/Mommy 6% Degradee 0% Ageplayer 0% Boy/Girl 0% Pet 0% Slave
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: No surprises really. I'm a little kinky, not too much into bdsm stuff although I do like to play a little rough sometimes and really enjoy seeing my woman recieve pleasure. I wish our relationship was better so it could happen more often. We used to talk a little about threesomes but she said it could only be mfm and she wouldn't do fmf because she couldn't "share me". I'd be willing to do mfm but not if she's unwilling to go the other way
== Results from bdsmtest.org == 84% Experimentalist 79% Voyeur 78% Switch 77% Non-monogamist 75% Dominant 74% Degrader 71% Master/Mistress 67% Rigger 64% Exhibitionist 51% Sadist 42% Primal (Hunter) 38% Vanilla 37% Submissive 33% Brat tamer 33% Brat 30% Owner 30% Rope bunny 21% Primal (Prey) 16% Masochist 9% Daddy/Mommy 6% Degradee 0% Ageplayer 0% Boy/Girl 0% Pet 0% Slave
It seems like that is a common theme.
Why do you think women are not comfortable sharing their partner with another woman, but men are comfortable sharing their partner with another person?
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SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
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I wouldn’t say that’s true.
I’m a women and I’m poly. 
How I see it, it mostly just comes down to a persons jealousies/ insecurities. Also, non-monogamy just isn’t for some people, and that’s completely fine.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: BDSM Test/ Kink Thread [Re: SARAtonin]
#28615140 - 01/09/24 11:35 AM (18 days, 20 hours ago) |
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Have you noticed some are more comfortable then others?
I am not familiar with poly relationships. My experience was swingers, at a sex club, groups,etc.
It was predominantly, women that shared or exhibited they were more uncomfortable sharing.
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SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,907
Loc: Deutschland
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By some do you mean people in general, or those within my polycule? I’ll assume the latter.
My polycule is really just three people, me, my wife, and our girlfriend. (I hate to call her that, we’d all three be married if the laws allowed it) Most polycules are a lot larger and more complicated, I prefer the dynamic we have. I guess I also have a side sub, but we aren’t exactly romantically involved, that’s not to say I don’t care for her, because I do, deeply, but I mostly just hook up with her for kink purposes that my other partners can not fully satisfy. But to answer your question, no, I feel like everyone is on the same page and very comfortable with the arrangement we have. We are all extremely invested in one another and don’t mind the occasional hookup. For instance, over the past few years our “girl friend” has been schooling in America while my wife and I have been spending most of our time in Canada and Europe. We don’t care if she has hookups in college, and she doesn’t care if we take someone home with up from the club.
To copy and paste something I wrote on discord a few days ago on the subject…
Quote:
To me, poly means loving your partner(s) to the extent you always want what’s best for them and understanding and accepting that you aren’t always going to be what’s best for them. You can be the best human possible but you alone will not always be the answer for what a person needs 100% of the time. It’s recognizing that you do not own your partner(s) and they should be able to make their own decisions to take what comfort they need when and how they need it and being able to get past the internalized jealousy involved in that because you know your partner(s) love you just as deeply.
-------------------- God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves. Want to join a cult? Click for details…
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Anonymous #3
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:
Anonymous #3 said: No surprises really. I'm a little kinky, not too much into bdsm stuff although I do like to play a little rough sometimes and really enjoy seeing my woman recieve pleasure. I wish our relationship was better so it could happen more often. We used to talk a little about threesomes but she said it could only be mfm and she wouldn't do fmf because she couldn't "share me". I'd be willing to do mfm but not if she's unwilling to go the other way
== Results from bdsmtest.org == 84% Experimentalist 79% Voyeur 78% Switch 77% Non-monogamist 75% Dominant 74% Degrader 71% Master/Mistress 67% Rigger 64% Exhibitionist 51% Sadist 42% Primal (Hunter) 38% Vanilla 37% Submissive 33% Brat tamer 33% Brat 30% Owner 30% Rope bunny 21% Primal (Prey) 16% Masochist 9% Daddy/Mommy 6% Degradee 0% Ageplayer 0% Boy/Girl 0% Pet 0% Slave
It seems like that is a common theme.
Why do you think women are not comfortable sharing their partner with another woman, but men are comfortable sharing their partner with another person?
My experience is that women are less secure and men are more willing to risk things for a reward. It’s just our nature
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Anonymous #4
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My partner (f) and I (m) played with a rule where she is only allowed to sleep with another man if I fuck his butt first. She loved that idea. Most men do not.
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Anonymous #3
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Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 6 hours, 57 minutes
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-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
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Anonymous #3
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That’s a nice list of 100s. I bet you’re fun to be with
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,310
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 minute, 38 seconds
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In my limited experience, straight women seem to be more possessive of their partners than straight men But if the woman is kinky, they seem to be more open about sharing their male partner.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: BDSM Test/ Kink Thread [Re: SARAtonin]
#28616064 - 01/10/24 07:21 AM (18 days, 58 minutes ago) |
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Interesting observation. Kinkier is more open to being less possessive?
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Anonymous #3
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Close but I think more to the point, being kinky leads one to being more open minded
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Anonymous #1
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Re: BDSM Test/ Kink Thread [Re: SARAtonin]
#28616077 - 01/10/24 07:34 AM (18 days, 46 minutes ago) |
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I agree with that You assume that you would need to be open to the kinks
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Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 6 hours, 57 minutes
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I was non-monogamous before I got to the level of kinky I have achieved. Kink has gotten more in depth as I've explored. I've gotten better at non-monogamy as I've aged simply because I've improved my communication skills and experienced life, as well as gotten to know myself better.
I've met kinky people who are very monogamous and non-monogamous people who are extremely vanilla. In my experience, it is unreliable to make assumptions about either of these things based on the other.
Most of my non-monogamous/ENM/Poly friends are women. Openly trying to date ENM men has decreased my prospects significantly, and most of the men I do meet lately who are ENM/poly became that way in their current relationship.
For me, kink and non-monogamy aren't really related, other than being open to having more vanilla partners from time to time, since I still have room to explore kink with others. If I was monogamous, a lack of kink in relationships would be a deal breaker.
Edit: typos
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
Edited by Patchouli_Savage (01/10/24 06:00 PM)
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Joh.Ke
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/23
Posts: 346
Last seen: 1 hour, 21 minutes
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Ah yes, the BDSM lifestyle and other related kinks.
I remember being very much into it when I was 16.
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,310
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 minute, 38 seconds
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Re: BDSM Test/ Kink Thread [Re: Joh.Ke] 2
#28619036 - 01/12/24 06:18 PM (15 days, 14 hours ago) |
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It was a phase for you? You went vanilla afterwords?
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Joh.Ke
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/23
Posts: 346
Last seen: 1 hour, 21 minutes
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Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said: It was a phase for you? You went vanilla afterwords? 
It was definitely a phase for me. And I didn't go vanilla. I kind of just drifted to other interests that were way more interesting.
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,310
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 1 minute, 38 seconds
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Re: BDSM Test/ Kink Thread [Re: Joh.Ke] 1
#28619132 - 01/12/24 08:04 PM (15 days, 12 hours ago) |
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I see. New kinks? Care to share?
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Joh.Ke
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/23
Posts: 346
Last seen: 1 hour, 21 minutes
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Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said: I see. New kinks? Care to share?
Naw.
Things that aren't sexual.
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