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Invisibleloladoreen
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Registered: 05/25/20
Posts: 5,327
Re: Struggling w/ Loss of Loved one. My Childrens' Mother passed away at 40 years old. Perspectives requested, please. [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28613688 - 01/08/24 06:14 AM (20 days, 6 hours ago)

You have to remember when she's using she is not the person you hang onto. She as a sober person would of probably done whatever ot took to get her kids back. Under the influence she is paralyzed by the drug, and consumed with shame, guilt and depression.
So she uses more to numb it.
The kids need to know who she authentically was. Not the shell of a person who was controlled by her use of drugs.
They need to hear the beauty of her.
I despise when people say things that harm the ones using. People always tell me if she wanted to she would. She does want to. But her addiction is so deep she can't escape it.
They envision her as a sober minded person. She's not.
Your anger is justified but itll hurt your children
She needs to be cast as the person she was that you fell in love with
It doesn't dismiss the damage it creates a mother who loves them
She was sick
Simple as that
She had people feeding her sickness
Unfortunately were left with the damage and it's incredibly painful
Im mad at her but mad only creates more problems
The pain the children feel reminds me of the love they have for her
Grief is love
If you didn't love her you wouldn't  grieve
People who have no empathy aren't the ones listening and comforting the children
I have pictures of her in their rooms
Tell them your moms your heart. They can talk to her
Tell them stories of her
Their dads in prison
When his brother passed his drug use increased
Before prison he was the primary parent
It's been 4 years
Dad is in their life but behind bars
Empathy is important
Fentanyl/ opioids are a different drug
Unfortunately this is common with people who use them
I also think you honor her not shame
She is free now
The pain is unparallel to anything I have experienced
Keep talking
It helps
I isolated
I still do
With the exception of family


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