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Offlinebouopa
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Looking for opinions and insight on my semi-"intense" trip
    #28583945 - 12/15/23 01:21 PM (1 month, 12 days ago)

I did only 2.17g (dried) golden teacher this time whereas I'd done almost 3g before, but this was from a different supplier and definitely more intense. I'm looking for any input as I don't know what's typical and whether my experience makes sense…

I'm doing it with a trip sitter (and I see an integration therapist later) to try and heal some bad habits, PTSD from childhood SA, and a severe eating disorder I've suffered from for many years (I've tried several treatments, from inpatient hospitalization in my early 20s which included CBT therapy, lots of eating disorder therapy, family therapy, and trauma therapy and EMDR, to DBT, SSRIs, Neurofeedback, and alternative and holistic treatments, etc.)

When the shrooms kicked in it was overwhelming. I felt scared and a little out of it so I laid down. I was overwhelmed when I tried to open my eyes, so I spent a lot of the trip laying down with my eyes closed with pillows and blankets covering me. My trip sitter played meditative music.

I tried asking questions and seeing how to heal myself. Lots of times the thoughts were fleeting and my mind kept going in different directions. Sometimes I'd hang onto something insightful and want to write it down, but mostly I'd let my mind go where it wanted to go. I get stuck in the time period my trauma took place, and I think some of my trip resolved that by breaking down time, if that makes sense. It presented my different timelines to me differently.

Otherwise, a lot of the trip seemed similar to that vivid dreamlike state you go into every night if you're someone like me who always dreams vividly and sometimes sees my younger self in my dreams and talks to her, or has lucid dreams. I wasn't asleep for the trip, but I kept going in and out of that state. Is that typical? I was aware of sounds outside of the "dreamlike" state, like my cat meowing in real life, and I was thinking, unlike when I'm totally asleep. But the "visions" didn't seem much different than when you have vivid dreams…

Very random things came to mind, from "how you present yourself matters" to "people are weird" to urges to tell people I appreciate them and miss them, to memories of moments I hadn't thought about in forever. And when it got really intense, I told this figure I was okay with it taking me (okay with dying) because of my suffering. I also remember opening my eyes and things seemed to be moving in waves. Pretty subtly, but moving. I don't know why it felt so overwhelming - oh, and I had the worst jaw pain and neck pain. I felt like I was pushing myself into the bed hard rather than lightly laying in a bed. The pain was pretty bad. Even that night when the trip had been over for hours (I tripped early morning) I couldn't get comfortable because of the muscle tension.

I asked questions about my PTSD but I didn't really get any answers. I had love and compassion for people but not really for myself. It's been three days and I still feel like the energy's been zapped out of me. The day after my trip, my mood felt better, like more at peace? But today I feel more let down, like I should've figured things out better. I'm still "stuck" but I know nothing's going to make getting better any easier. It has to be me and what are the chances? I haven't yet. Please help…with anything.


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Offlinebouopa
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Registered: 03/28/23
Posts: 6
Last seen: 2 days, 14 hours
Re: Looking for opinions and insight on my semi-"intense" trip [Re: bouopa]
    #28591173 - 12/20/23 10:57 AM (1 month, 8 days ago)

Does anyone have any input at all? It's okay if it's not professional. Any similar or different experiences, insight, or comments are welcome! I'm really feeling alone and a little lost still. I keep checking back hoping for some thoughts or any discussion. Replies don't have to have "answers" and you don't have to have any expertise! I'm looking for any thoughts, ideas, comments, questions…any input at all really.


Edited by bouopa (12/20/23 10:58 AM)


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Looking for opinions and insight on my semi-"intense" trip [Re: bouopa] * 1
    #28591346 - 12/20/23 12:39 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

the trip sounds right on, each mushroom has it's own strength so dosage is always a bit like cutting of the deck but usually picking a card between 6 and 10.

I think it is good that you are noticing time effects, and how perception can branch off into different directions (simultaneously).

Mostly we don't think about what the mind is, although we are minds reacting to the world, but the shrooms give us an opportunity to see how instantaneously new directions can appear, and how amazing ordinary things are when we pay attention.

the phrases that come to you are summations from a stoned point of view, and may have little relevance in life on a day to day basis: hippies have produced tons of fake wisdom this way, however, if you somehow learn to relax and let go and take it all in as it is happening without any embellishment, then really you have gained a huge benefit and that is not fake wisdom.


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Offlineeve69
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Re: Looking for opinions and insight on my semi-"intense" trip [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28596601 - 12/24/23 01:23 PM (1 month, 3 days ago)

shrooms work on 5ht1a 5ht2a serotonin receptors also the other monoamines dopamine and norepinephrine.  the 5hts work antagonistically - the 2 receptor downgrades the 1 receptor, at first. in the same way that ssri drugs take a month to work because of that downgrade.it must become desensitized. so shrooms happen very quickly though so you experience really too much to make sense of and the flood of norephinephrine makes you very very wide awake and so the subtle brain chages are inescapable.


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Offlinebouopa
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Re: Looking for opinions and insight on my semi-"intense" trip [Re: redgreenvines]
    #28599217 - 12/26/23 10:05 PM (1 month, 1 day ago)

Thanks so much! This makes sense. It definitely forced me to pay attention. I don’t think I embellished. I’m an overthinker sometimes, but I gave it a week or two before it even clicked what the pain was from. Do you have any examples of the fake wisdom you’re talking about?


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Looking for opinions and insight on my semi-"intense" trip [Re: bouopa]
    #28599479 - 12/27/23 07:21 AM (1 month, 1 day ago)

I think it is a good start.
You allow yourself to expand and explore your questions
I've had trips where i cry most of the time
Or come to conclusions about things or learn about myself or remember things
ptsd is a difficult one
If it was me I would decompress my vagus nerve to get out of the trauma response
I would do breath work
Stretch
Meditating
Possibly before because you don't know where youll go on your trip
I've had intentions to meditate and can't because my mind's racing
People are weird
Sounds like an appreciation for all. Recognizing and respecting differences
Perhaps something you desire or need to show more to others or maybe just a recognition
Ed is hard
I've struggled 30 years
Acceptance helped me
Making my inner voice a positive one
Ptsd can be debilitating
Finding your power assists
Shrooms helps that
You can direct your energy to positive energy about yourself
I've had more trips then not in bed
Its sounds like a normal experience
Exploring yourself
Do it again
You'll probably find you move more into a different spiritual space
I think each time improves
There's no magical fix
You are the magic


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisibleloladoreen
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Re: Looking for opinions and insight on my semi-"intense" trip [Re: bouopa]
    #28599501 - 12/27/23 07:38 AM (1 month, 1 day ago)

Your trip actually sounds successful
I was just thinking
There are different approaches
You said you're in integrative therapy, which is exactly that. Your therapist finds what works for you
You need to do the same for yourself
If your neck hurts take a bath
Massage it
If you dislike your thoughts
Change them
Take back your power
Often with trauma we give our power to the traumatic experience
Take it back
How it works for you is not how it works for me
You are resilient
Recognize that
The statement people are weird is impactful
Allow yourself to be accepted by yourself
People are amazing and beautiful
You are people
When I read his post I interpreted the fake wisdom as people saying you get cured etc from shrooms
Definitely false wisdom
There's more involved
Shrooms don't cure
You are the magic
They open a door
Only thing that changes ourselves is ourselves


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“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Looking for opinions and insight on my semi-"intense" trip [Re: bouopa]
    #28600586 - 12/28/23 07:45 AM (1 month, 3 hours ago)

Quote:

bouopa said:
Thanks so much! This makes sense. It definitely forced me to pay attention. I don’t think I embellished. I’m an overthinker sometimes, but I gave it a week or two before it even clicked what the pain was from. Do you have any examples of the fake wisdom you’re talking about?



I am not into Hippie fake wisdom but I asked the AI in my pc the question:
Quote:

Hi, this is Bing. I searched the web for your question and found some interesting results. Hippie fake wisdom is a term that refers to the vague, superficial, or contradictory statements that some hippies or counterculture enthusiasts use to sound profound, enlightened, or rebellious. Some of these statements may have a grain of truth or a positive intention, but they are often oversimplified, misinterpreted, or misapplied. Some examples of hippie fake wisdom are:

“Everything happens for a reason.” This statement implies that there is a cosmic plan or a divine purpose behind every event, and that we should accept it without questioning or resisting. However, this statement can also be used to justify or rationalize suffering, injustice, or evil, and to discourage critical thinking or personal responsibility12.
“You create your own reality.” This statement suggests that we have the power to shape our experiences and outcomes by our thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes. However, this statement can also be used to blame or shame ourselves or others for our misfortunes, and to ignore or deny the external factors and influences that affect our lives13.
“All you need is love.” This statement expresses the ideal of universal love and harmony, and the rejection of violence and hatred. However, this statement can also be used to avoid or escape from the practical and realistic challenges and conflicts that we face in our relationships and society, and to neglect or sacrifice our own needs and boundaries1 .
“Don’t trust anyone over 30.” This statement reflects the generational gap and the distrust of authority and tradition that characterized the youth culture of the 1960s. However, this statement can also be seen as a form of ageism and arrogance, and a dismissal of the wisdom and experience that older people can offer .
“Turn on, tune in, drop out.” This statement was coined by Timothy Leary, a psychologist and advocate of psychedelic drugs, to encourage people to explore their own consciousness and to reject the conventional norms and expectations of society. However, this statement can also be interpreted as a promotion of drug abuse and escapism, and a disregard for the consequences and responsibilities of one’s actions .
These are some examples of hippie fake wisdom that I found on the web. If you want to learn more about them, you can check out the web search results. I hope this helps you find the information you are looking for. 😊



Bing added an emoji,
how cute!


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