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GenesisCorrupted
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The psychology of the bully
#28595357 - 12/23/23 02:21 PM (1 month, 4 days ago) |
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When you present a trait, aspect, intelligence, anything really that someone doesn’t.
You can be subjected to bullying. I find this mostly comes back to either jealousy, or just an animalistic urge to destroy something that’s different.
What can you do about bullying? I think speaking up is the first step. If people are aware of this behavior. They are going to be more willing to try and do something to correct it.
The bully themselves can be changed. It’s just difficult because they don’t want to.
So what can we do when we encounter the bully. Don’t allow it to happen. It’s quite simple, just intervene.
If you see somebody who has nothing to contribute. But they just want to make fun of somebody else. Call them out for their bad behavior.
Because clearly they’re the ones with the problem. Not the person who’s getting bullied.
I don’t feel like it’s excusable in any format. It just shows how close minded or ignorant the person perpetrating it is.
Let’s discuss the motivations for bullying. Then let’s discuss the philosophy of how to get rid of the bully. Then let’s talk about the psychology that would make somebody stop being a bully.
Edited by GenesisCorrupted (12/23/23 02:38 PM)
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GenesisCorrupted
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Reserved
Edited by GenesisCorrupted (12/23/23 02:45 PM)
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redgreenvines
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Quote:
GenesisCorrupted said: When you present a trait, aspect, intelligence, anything really that someone doesn’t.
You can be subjected to bullying....
do you mean that we hide our differences to escape being bullied?
that is possible, I have hidden my strangeness to avoid going against the waves of my social cohort (school work etc.), not to the extent of Woody Allen in Zelig (which I thought was brilliant!), but to save upsetting all the sensitive egos around me. Usually I found a way to contribute curiosities that others could use as their own.
I am different, but have rarely been bullied, and I have not picked on the defenseless.
I think the Bully is a kind of black hole of self-esteem-less-ness, who picks on whoever he/she thinks will not fight back.
BTW do you know why the Krampus has bull horns?
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GenesisCorrupted
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Because he was supposed to be the physical and metaphysical opposite of Santa Claus.
Why did you bring up my avatar when we were discussing bullying? Because I find that quite telling. Once again, trying to diffract attention into questioning my character.
Why do people call others names when they disagree with them?
I think that should’ve been the first question?
Edited by GenesisCorrupted (12/23/23 02:44 PM)
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redgreenvines
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I am fascinated by how people portray themselves in their avatars, with or without sarcasm, (you suggest it relates to the anti-santa meme). then the The psychology of the bully thread pops up, with a twist on victim blaming, such that being an outlier exposes one to bullying which is an urge to harm the different person that we should expect is out there?.
In contrast to your idea, I think the real psychology is not about being a victim, but about being a person of low esteem and lashing out at those who may not fight back.
I am not calling you a bully as such, but - no bull, your new sarcastic avatar has bull horns and your new post is about bullying so <--> ? it's funny, I point out things ok?!
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GenesisCorrupted
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I never mentioned you at all. But you are implicating yourself. Why are you so defensive?
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Blue_Lux
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Anyone who bullies anyone deserves to be punched in the face is what my grandfather would say.
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redgreenvines
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Blue_Lux]
#28595480 - 12/23/23 04:22 PM (1 month, 4 days ago) |
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that's what my uncle did for a living.
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redgreenvines
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Quote:
GenesisCorrupted said: ... Why do people call others names when they disagree with them?
I think that should’ve been the first question?
in this convo, this question could be ambiguous; or you could be wondering why I was calling you a bully by mentioning your avatar. (and not calling you names at all)
Fine, perhaps it meant something different, my words still mean what I said, and I still find it funny that you don't see a dream symbol in your avatar that popped out in a subsequent thread title that you posted.
Not that such things as dream symbols always mean anything that they might appear to mean.
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GenesisCorrupted
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I feel like you’re focused too much on me.
Let’s get more macro with our thinking. Think of the larger impacts. Not one individual. But about everybody. Maybe if the bully would think about that. We could move past the need for them to bully.
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Milleresque
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I think the typical theory on bullies is that they’re deeply insecure within themselves, possibly sublimating family trauma by lashing out at others to give themselves the feeling of worth and or superiority they’re lacking outside of the school environment, for instance.
I was bullied relentlessly as a kid. Then there was a period in high school I actually became a bit of bully myself—and if I think about it yeah I was trying to compensate for, ohhh, you know, the ceaseless emotional and occasional physical abuse I received from my father.
I quickly dropped the bully act and apologised to everyone I’d been stupid toward.
Interesting thread
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nooneman


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Bullying happens because it's highly effective. You take someone who would outcompete you, who is better than you in some way, and you reduce that threat to zero often for the rest of the person's life. That's why it's common across societies and cultures. It's an instinct to remove the competition, and it's highly effective at doing so.
There are two downsides. One, it's detrimental as an adult to try to bully people in the workplace and in life. People who bully are more likely to have higher degrees of antisocial behavior in general, which holds them back as an adult. Two, the more prevalent bullying is, the more likely that the bully will be bullied themselves, which puts the bully at the same disadvantage that they were trying to cause in others. It's a bucket of crabs type scenario where the more people are doing it, the less helpful it is to the people doing it.
Because it is an instinctual behavior, it'll likely take thousands of years to weed out of the gene pool.
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Blue_Lux
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: nooneman]
#28595648 - 12/23/23 06:37 PM (1 month, 4 days ago) |
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-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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sudly
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: nooneman]
#28595769 - 12/23/23 08:25 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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Since when is bullying an instinctual behaviour?
It's sounds premeditated to me, and effort to bring others around you down to feel better about yourself in some way.
I was never bullied, but I never engaged with anyone who seemed to be attempting it. One guy messed with my bag once so I kicked him.
Maybe this analogy won't relate but this thread got me thinking, when people go to prison, if they don't stand up for themselves they're deemed weak, usable etc. And the target is painted.
But if someone comes to prison, is confronted, and stands up for themselves, even if they take a beating, the cost is higher to continue bullying them knowing they won't roll on their back.
Maybe prisons the extreme example, but even in schools, the bully gets something out of it, usually a reaction, so if you don't react emotionally, and don't react in a way that gives the bullying behaviour what it wants.. There's less incentive to do it, atleast to you.
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Dick Casino
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Them is krampus hornsQuote:
redgreenvines said: I am fascinated by how people portray themselves in their avatars, with or without sarcasm, (you suggest it relates to the anti-santa meme). then the The psychology of the bully thread pops up, with a twist on victim blaming, such that being an outlier exposes one to bullying which is an urge to harm the different person that we should expect is out there?.
In contrast to your idea, I think the real psychology is not about being a victim, but about being a person of low esteem and lashing out at those who may not fight back.
I am not calling you a bully as such, but - no bull, your new sarcastic avatar has bull horns and your new post is about bullying so <--> ? it's funny, I point out things ok?!
Thems is Krampus horns No bull
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GenesisCorrupted
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Dick Casino]
#28595936 - 12/24/23 12:30 AM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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Quote:
Dick Casino said: Them is krampus hornsQuote:
redgreenvines said: I am not calling you a bully as such, but - no bull, your new sarcastic avatar has bull horns and your new post is about bullying so <--> ? it's funny, I point out things ok?!
Thems is Krampus horns No bull
Maybe I chose this avatar because I was going to post this thread in the future.
 Or maybe it’s just because I like spanking naughty people. No memes only Krampus.
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Dick Casino
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Dick Casino] 1
#28595941 - 12/24/23 12:36 AM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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The future is now 🧙🏿♂️
-------------------- Leave the gun Take the cannoli
Edited by Dick Casino (12/24/23 12:36 AM)
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sudly
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-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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GenesisCorrupted
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: sudly]
#28595970 - 12/24/23 01:40 AM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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sudly
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Righto Mr "Krabs" 
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GenesisCorrupted
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: sudly]
#28595973 - 12/24/23 01:53 AM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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Freedom
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Somtimes there is a false dichotomy (split into two)
sometimes there is a false monotony (one tone)
i think the phenomenon of bullying has more than one tone playing. It can be hard to pick them apart.
isecurity, low self esteem, lack of empathy, abuse and neglect, learned behavior, reinforcement conditioning, psychoopathy, seeing oneself as a victim.........
these are some of the tones that might play through bullies as they enact the bullying. Just to see these kind of streams within oneself is a pretty cool feat, to see them in another from an armchair is pretty hard to do
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Blue_Lux
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom]
#28596719 - 12/24/23 03:21 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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That's why the joke is you read Michel Foucault and then tell your therapist "I think we're done here..." (psychoanalysis post Freud was botched, largely by his own daughter)
I think people enjoy being mean. For many reasons. Too numerous to count. Aggression is something that can be triggered by many things. I find it ugly, and it is something about myself that, when it happens, I really don't like. It doesn't feel good. But there can be a pleasure in being angry, and this pleasure itself is a substitute for other pleasures, or something that has become the main emotional outlet. I think sadness is directly related to anger. Happiness is not the opposite of sadness. No. Anger is, if one exists, the opposite of happiness, and anger and sadness are the front and back of the coin of this opposite. From sadness comes anger, from anger may come sadness.
-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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Blue_Lux
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom]
#28596721 - 12/24/23 03:24 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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Or perhaps laughter/joy is the opposite of sadness, and anger the opposite of happiness. That is more like it.
-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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sudly
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom] 1
#28596725 - 12/24/23 03:27 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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If a religious person thinks you're going to hell, and they tell you they want to 'save' you, but you don't want to convert or be 'saved', if the religious person persists, whatever their intention whether genuine or not, could that be considered a form of bullying?
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Blue_Lux
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: sudly]
#28596733 - 12/24/23 03:33 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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That person is mostly hallucinating as an automoton. That person cannot be said to have any real freedom willed. The only way to fix this is to have a person care that there is actually a way to determine reality in a way you can trust, without just merely believing someone. This is with logic and philosophy and mathematics. This is what you plant in people; what will grow into a natural adherence and faith in rationality instead of words of mysticism.
-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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Rahz
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: sudly] 2
#28596747 - 12/24/23 03:53 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: If a religious person thinks you're going to hell, and they tell you they want to 'save' you, but you don't want to convert or be 'saved', if the religious person persists, whatever their intention whether genuine or not, could that be considered a form of bullying?
I think a good POV is that if the religious person persists their intention wasn't genuine to begin with.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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GenesisCorrupted
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Rahz]
#28596754 - 12/24/23 03:56 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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Exactly. The priest versus the saint argument that I was making earlier. It’s one thing to be genuinely a good person. And reach out to somebody because you’re trying to help. Versus trying to terrorize somebody into believing what you do.
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Freedom
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Quote:
GenesisCorrupted said: Exactly. The priest versus the saint argument that I was making earlier. It’s one thing to be genuinely a good person. And reach out to somebody because you’re trying to help. Versus trying to terrorize somebody into believing what you do.
parents do this with children
like children are natuarlly scared of cars
I think if i genuinely believed someone might be tortured in eternity, and I could save them from that just be convincing them to believe in jesus, I would do anything to convince them.
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GenesisCorrupted
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom]
#28596760 - 12/24/23 04:00 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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You should be able to present that to them. That should still be their choice though. IMO
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redgreenvines
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what is known as Narcissism often comes out as bullying too.
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Freedom
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Quote:
GenesisCorrupted said: You should be able to present that to them. That should still be their choice though. IMO
If someone is ignorant, they don't have the ability to choose. Like with children
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Blue_Lux
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom]
#28596825 - 12/24/23 05:09 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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This is how i see it
sadness <--> anger <-- (-) : (+) --> happiness <--> joy/laughter
The : is the direction of our mood (our neurochemistry) when confronted with something (by confronted I mean something appearing which we react to that we have not ourselves created)
The positive is what we integrate easily and adds 'stimulation,' for lack of better words
The negative is what is not integrated easily or not at all, precludes stimulation and or perturbs because it is not 'accepted,' for lack of better words.
-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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redgreenvines
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom]
#28596826 - 12/24/23 05:09 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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believing in something is never a choice. (not that anything is) people should not be made to believe things, is probably what GC is talking about, and I agree with that (truly a form of bullying). but honestly we do not choose to believe things.
We pick up the practice from others around us, and then become confirmed, barmitzva'd, re baptized, and publicly endorsed as believers in traditional ceremonies even if we are not actually in synch with all that stuff.
and the things that some people actually come to believe are really astonishing: crazy conspiracies, and some really obtuse political concepts. I cannot imagine people choosing to be so stupid.
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Blue_Lux
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom]
#28596835 - 12/24/23 05:17 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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I think lastly the opposite of loving and appreciating people is wanting to use/harm them.
loving <--> appreciating : using <--> harming
When the pleasure that would come from/with others is found in using them and harming them... this is called Sadism. I think Sadism is a natural part of the monkey dna in us of primate, primal rage of dominance. Sadism is a narcissistic formation and it is the result of a lack of love and acceptance, true in the society and environment in which a person is born, which we created as a reaction formation, a defense mechanism, exactly how Freud demonstrates in a Darwinian way about the unconscious.
-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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redgreenvines
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Blue_Lux]
#28596840 - 12/24/23 05:25 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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I am a bit concerned about the knocking over of a pile of blocks - a kind of bull-ish play behavior. should I be concerned when a 3 year old loves knocking things over, especially if asked not to do that.
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Freedom
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Blue_Lux]
#28596845 - 12/24/23 05:30 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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I see anger as its own thing, joy as its own thing, pleasure as its own thing, sadness as its own thing, and there are subdivisions within.
Anger tends to have layers for me. So like say someone stole something I value. I might feel angry. If i look at the anger and soften, i find within it there is sadness, and when i allow myself to feel the sadness, grieving happens. Through this acceptance is found and life moves on. I am very familiar with that pattern as in most of my life I would suppress the anger, and the whole complex would get burried. Durring meditation these complexes naturaly emerge, so it sort of became one of the routine things.
also can be other things under the anger like shame (and under the shame me be sadness and greif at the loss of face or social standing or how i imagine someone thinks about me)
anger can be aroused preemptively at imagined threats. politicians manipulate people with this.
I distinguish between pleausure and joy although they can mix. joy has a quality of love in it, its shared, even if that sense of sharing is with a flower. I delight in the flower, rather than using it to get a sensation. I delight in children without wanting anything from them. There is some freedom with joy, its not possesive. pleasure tends to be possesive.
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,145
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom]
#28596857 - 12/24/23 05:40 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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I find what you said intriguing.
It made me think, what is the state of mind in conversation? Is that itself a sensation? Or reading... There may be many feelings. How does one's psychological relation to other people impact their ability for actually having a conversation, and having the feeling(s) of the exchange of thoughts? It requires sharing ideas, and this is why I think conversation and communication is fundamentally associated inside us with what 'love' and 'happiness' means. I don't think it is its own thing apart from having as you say delight and joy with/from other people. It isn't about deriving joy or pleasure but with it simultaneously with the experience. I think anger and sadness is fundamentally opposed to communication, which is something that actually holds the species together.
-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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Freedom
Pigment of your imagination



Registered: 05/26/05
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Last seen: 20 hours, 36 minutes
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: believing in something is never a choice. (not that anything is) people should not be made to believe things, is probably what GC is talking about, and I agree with that (truly a form of bullying). but honestly we do not choose to believe things.
We pick up the practice from others around us, and then become confirmed, barmitzva'd, re baptized, and publicly endorsed as believers in traditional ceremonies even if we are not actually in synch with all that stuff.
and the things that some people actually come to believe are really astonishing: crazy conspiracies, and some really obtuse political concepts. I cannot imagine people choosing to be so stupid.
I don't personally desire to convince people as I feel pretty confident that I am not the worlds leading expert on everything lol. (this is a real lol it cracks me up) 
However I did work in nursing homes, and I would pressure people to do things that I thought would be good for them. That encouragement was a really tricky thing for me. Its common in nursing homes to do that. At first it felt so wrong, because I have a strong value for personal choice (even thought I see choice as an illusion).
After observing things for a while, it looked like this encouragement was really helping people. For example there was a woman with dementia who was paranoid. She thought people came into her room at night, she saw bugs crawling around everywhere, and she was scared to go out of her room. Because her memory was impaired, she couldn't remember me. I got to come to her everyday and try things iteratively like groundhogs day. Eventually i learned how to encourage her out of her room. When she got out, there was a guy she naturally got along with. The enjoyed each other very much and would go on adventures together. (he also had dementia and it was really good for him too).
I had to be careful and I looked at how I spoke and what i said very carefully.
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Freedom
Pigment of your imagination



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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Blue_Lux]
#28596876 - 12/24/23 05:55 PM (1 month, 3 days ago) |
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Quote:
Blue_Lux said:
I find what you said intriguing.
It made me think, what is the state of mind in conversation? Is that itself a sensation? Or reading... There may be many feelings. How does one's psychological relation to other people impact their ability for actually having a conversation, and having the feeling(s) of the exchange of thoughts? It requires sharing ideas, and this is why I think conversation and communication is fundamentally associated inside us with what 'love' and 'happiness' means. I don't think it is its own thing apart from having as you say delight and joy with/from other people. It isn't about deriving joy or pleasure but with it simultaneously with the experience. I think anger and sadness is fundamentally opposed to communication, which is something that actually holds the species together.
I find lots of levels and varieties of communication. like at the grocery store there is subtle communication barely acknowledging others just enough not to bump carts, or to let some go in line (or try to get first in line). then with the person at the check out counter, it might just be very matter of fact, or there could be a brief moment of connection.
that transition from matter of fact conversation to conection is a state change for me. That's where atunement starts. On the other end of the spectrum, I have a friend who when we visit we sit in silence most of the time, feeling that sense of connection. The silence gives space and time for giving attention both to the other and to oneself. When we speak from this state, we seem to be able to deeply understand each other.
Merry ChristmaHanaKwanzaKrumpaDiwaliHogmany!
these conversations have been very enriching I'm probably going to disapear for a few days
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,145
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom]
#28597004 - 12/24/23 07:48 PM (1 month, 2 days ago) |
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-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Blue_Lux]
#28597074 - 12/24/23 08:40 PM (1 month, 2 days ago) |
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bon voyagee have a great holiday
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,145
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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Ferdinando


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3,664
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: I am a bit concerned about the knocking over of a pile of blocks - a kind of bull-ish play behavior. should I be concerned when a 3 year old loves knocking things over, especially if asked not to do that.
yes
-------------------- with our love with our love we could save the world
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Nillion
Nobody

Registered: 04/14/22
Posts: 1,000
Loc: Terra Firma
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I think bullies have deficiencies in terms of empathy and awareness that are nearly always acquired from their environments and experiences. The problematic behavior is learned but is also a result of conditioning. Most people can be reconditioned to develop better awareness and increased capacity empathy. However reconditioning a person rarely a matter of their own willpower or choice, it is a whole process and it requires coherent method and structure.
Most people who engage in bullying behavior end up disliking themselves. They have to pretend to be someone they are not and they say so plainly by voicing their fears in reverse. Bullying is basically like a type of war and like Sun Tzu said, war is based on deception, only in this case there is as much self-deception as anything. The bully insulting the intelligence of other people typically fears their own stupidity. Their own feelings about sexuality frequently give rise to things like homophobia and transphobia. At the root of all of this behavior is fear and typically bullies are taught, falsely, that fear is the same as respect.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Nillion] 1
#28599768 - 12/27/23 12:27 PM (1 month, 7 hours ago) |
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Quote:
Nillion said:... typically bullies are taught, falsely, that fear is the same as respect.
This really resonates with me. brrrr arughh!
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,792
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My playground my rules, dork! Just because you aren't awesome and feel sorry for yourself doesnt mean that I have to limit myself to your level just so you feel safe in your safespace.
I am just cool. Accept that and respect it.
What's all this talk about making me into someone i'm not?

redgreenlight, you're saying low self esteem but, projecting much? It takes a finer cut of character to be a bully, you can't just be shit and not get shit, you have to clearly be a better grade of person or it won't stick.
My playground, my way.
If you got more of that gum it's coming with me.
Gunnysix, you didnt spend your lunch money right?
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Freedom
Pigment of your imagination



Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 5,847
Last seen: 20 hours, 36 minutes
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Asante]
#28599886 - 12/27/23 02:29 PM (1 month, 5 hours ago) |
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self esteem, high or low, is an attempt to put value on something priceless
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,792
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Freedom] 1
#28599896 - 12/27/23 02:36 PM (1 month, 4 hours ago) |
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((for the record, i roleplayed an extraverted, grandiose bully in my earlier reply, not how I think))
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Asante]
#28599898 - 12/27/23 02:37 PM (1 month, 4 hours ago) |
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a bit like OCD? pausing to check the self esteem levels? then checking again in case it slips? who knows, I might have sprung an oil leak! surely my gaskets are not that dry.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,792
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Bullies often have traits on the machiavellian-narcissist-psychopath triad, i borrowed some narcissist ego inflation to add tongue in cheek flavor to the bully.
Bullies can be very full of themselves, even though that too is often an act.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Asante] 2
#28600023 - 12/27/23 04:35 PM (1 month, 2 hours ago) |
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I'm full of myself too, but also I'm full of others, mostly I'm pretty empty, but I feel full from Christmas.
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GenesisCorrupted
Taoist, Writer, Student, Artist




Registered: 08/01/23
Posts: 7,168
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 minute, 53 seconds
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Who’s Christmas are you full from?
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,227
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-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Rahz]
#28600084 - 12/27/23 05:26 PM (1 month, 2 hours ago) |
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family - 70% christian
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Cory Duchesne
tabernacle


Registered: 10/05/16
Posts: 915
Loc: Nova Scotia
Last seen: 2 days, 2 hours
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Re: The psychology of the bully [Re: Blue_Lux]
#28615211 - 01/09/24 12:38 PM (18 days, 6 hours ago) |
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Bus Monitor Karen Klein bullied by vile school children
^ Difficult to put into words how I feel when I watch this video, but it's the perfect example of bullying: The strong and young attacking the weak and old.
I never trusted the human race. Always used condoms and pull out method, back when I was able to have sex. Now a days I'm isolated and without companionship. It doesn't seem like sexual intercourse is even an option for me these days, and when I see people having families I don't know what to say to them other than, good luck, but I think you belong to a species too flawed to deserve reproduction.
-------------------- C.G. Jung: "Please remember, it is what you are that heals, not what you know." "I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - Carl Jung Krishna, as his friends called him, freely admitted his compulsive lying. He blamed it on simple fear of having his deceptions detected." NOTES OF A FRINGE-WATCHER MARTIN GARDNER on J Krishnamurti "All your questions are born out of the answers you already have. Any answer anybody gives should put an end to your questions. But it does not." [UG-K]
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
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vermin
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Freedom
Pigment of your imagination



Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 5,847
Last seen: 20 hours, 36 minutes
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Quote:
Cory Duchesne said: Bus Monitor Karen Klein bullied by vile school children
^ Difficult to put into words how I feel when I watch this video, but it's the perfect example of bullying: The strong and young attacking the weak and old.
I never trusted the human race. Always used condoms and pull out method, back when I was able to have sex. Now a days I'm isolated and without companionship. It doesn't seem like sexual intercourse is even an option for me these days, and when I see people having families I don't know what to say to them other than, good luck, but I think you belong to a species too flawed to deserve reproduction.
when I look back at my life, its both discrete moments and a continuous flow. The good times flow into bad times which flow into good times again.
and so it is with this story,
Quote:
After the bullies' identities were revealed, they received many death threats.[2] The video prompted an investigation on the part of school officials and local police.[8] Klein stated that she would not press charges against the students, partly because of the flood of death threats and criticism aimed at them.[9] She also stated she would like an apology and a different bus route.[10] When an apology was issued, however, she rejected it as insufficient.[11]
On June 29, 2012, the Greece Central School District announced that the boys would be suspended from the middle school for one full academic year, and each boy would also be required to complete 50 hours of community service with senior citizens and complete a formal program in bullying prevention.[12]
On his show Anderson Cooper 360°, CNN anchor Anderson Cooper announced that Southwest Airlines offered to pay for a trip for Klein and nine people of her choice to Walt Disney World for a three-night visit.[13] Klein responded, "It does make me feel a whole lot better. I appreciated everything. I think it's awesome."[13]
Soon after the video went viral, Max Sidorov, a Ukrainian immigrant living in Toronto who says he had been a victim of bullying as a child, started a campaign at fundraising site Indiegogo with a goal of $5,000, to help give Klein a vacation and posted it to Reddit.[14][15] Within a few days of its creation, the fund had surpassed half a million dollars, and by June 25, over $650,000.[16] An Indiegogo spokesperson stated that the website was in touch with Klein, who would receive the money raised by the scheduled end of the fundraiser on July 20, 2012.[17] When the campaign ended on July 20, Klein's campaign had received a total of $703,833.[18] Klein stated that she planned to use $100,000 of the earnings to establish the Karen Klein Anti-Bullying Foundation, as part of the GiveBack Foundation.[18]
On July 27, 2012, Klein announced that she planned to retire as a bus monitor, calling it "a tough decision".[19]
I was abused as a child, and had fear which the other children picked up on and used to bully me in a similar way. That forced me to deeply contemplate my self, my psychology and those around me. Eventually that led me to have a much greater understanding of myelf and others than I would have otherwise, and this helps me everywhere I go.
When I look at the whole of good and bad flowing into each other, the whole has a beauty and magnificence to it that I deeply appreciate, and this magnificence depends on both the good and bad.
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Blue_Lux
τό κᾰτᾰπεπτωκός φροντιστής


Registered: 12/07/19
Posts: 2,145
Loc: chillin' on Charon's skiff
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Trippin

-------------------- ☆✮★⋆I ♡ the music, not the bling⋆★✮☆ https://rictornorton.co.uk/eighteen/1730news.htm 𝔦𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔟𝔬𝔫𝔦 𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦 𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔪 𝔣𝔦𝔲𝔫𝔱 May I ask what your bud type is? ❂ LXIV⁶⁴AMOR ❂Profundæ lātissimæque vēritātēs amandæ sunt, sīc ideo necesse est: rēs maxima amanda est; pōtus sit is bene scīmus cum nōs id adeō explet, cum altō hīc movet īmus: rēs maxima omnis amor.
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