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OfflineDoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body
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Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 10 days, 16 hours
Re: Sleep [Re: syncro]
    #28613537 - 01/08/24 01:05 AM (20 days, 11 hours ago)

For the last maybe 5 years, at least.... my sleep patterns are odd.  A lot of it is because I just stay up too late reading, or occasionally listening to podcasts.

I wake at 6-6:30am, M-F for work.... but going to bed before 2am is rare on those nights.  More usually it is 3am, or often 4am or a little after.  By 8am I am at work.  I am so used to it, that I don't feel very tired during the day.  Often though, by 2:30pm I feel extremely tired, but it passes.  Sometimes I will get home and take a nap from 5-7pm or so, if I am not busy with errands or childrens' sports activity. Then I will fix dinner for us, and do things around home, have conversations with my children, start reading news, or listening to something.  I haven't watched much TV or movies in years.. over 10 at least. 

Some nights, I will not sleep at all.  Maybe a few times per month, I will just splash water on my face at 5 or 6am and go in to work.  By evening on those days, I usually have a nap, sometimes until after 8 or 9pm, and then stay awake until 3 or 4am again.  Not always though. Usually, the idea of craving my bed will pass, and I'll just stay up as usual. I have worked 2nd shift and graveyard shift for periods of time in the past.... it always would take me a long time to wind down after getting home from work between 12am and 2am.... I would always listen to Coast to Coast until 4am, then sleep until 10 or 11am usually.... even as a kid and a teenager, I would often stay up very late, sometimes until sunrise.... and if unable to stay in bed and sleep, I would go about the day. I remember many times, when I was 6 and 7, I would sneak out of bed and watch Nick at Night until 2 or 4 am then go to sleep, and get up for school soon after.... more often though, back then and into my early teens, I would sleep from 10pm until 5 or 6am.  For a period of time, about 7 or 8 years ago, I would go to sleep at about 11pm, and having no car, get up at 3am and walk to the labor hall which was 4 miles away so I could be there by 5:30 and get sent out for work. 

Thankfully those days are behind me, but it makes me realize, I've not ever really prioritized my sleep, even though I love it so much.  I crave it sometimes, but for a long time it was miserable to experience the nightmares, and it all just helped to form my regular 2-4hrs sleep per night habits I have now. 

Usually by the weekend, it catches up to me.  If I don't have weekend plans, on Saturday and Sunday I sometimes sleep from between 3-5am until 1 or 2pm.  Sometimes I wake at 10am on a Saturday, and think I will go ahead and get another hour or 2 sleep, then I wake at 3pm and am aggravated that I've wasted the whole day.

There have been work-weeks where I have gotten 6-8 hours of sleep, the entire week. The only stimulants involved by the way are coffee and nicotine, in case anyone was wondering.

I think when my horrible sleep patterns really started, I was going through some problems with my relationship, and then ending the relationship, over a 2 year period.  I would be so angry or upset that I couldn't sleep.... I'd just lay there .... I had very intense nightmares for a year after it ended, and even occasionally still.  I also had 3 or 4 experiences of sleep paralysis during that time.... if that's what we want to refer to it as. It was horrifying.  It seemed very real, and dark... to the point that I thought it was a demonic attack.  Perhaps it was. I considered it as such for a long time.  now, 2-4hrs of sleep per night has become something I am used to.  I have trouble falling asleep any earlier than 2am.  I don't even feel like getting into bed then.  Again, nowadays, I spend too much late hours reading.... news, history, medical related, political related.... many things have me very concerned, and I find myself having trouble putting it down at night.. and the time flies by quickly.  After 11pm, 3am seems to come very fast.

I believe I need to change these sleep habits.  I miss the patterns of my youth, when 11pm seemed late.... and I know my body needs more rest, or at least some kind of regularity.  My productivity outside of work needs to improve.  I don't ever feel like doing anything around here to fix things anymore.... I don't ever want to be sociable either, aside from coworkers.  I feel isolated most of the time, but can usually pretend otherwise.  I can be quite personable, but my self esteem and spirit has changed over the last decade to where I just want to be left alone with the exception of my children, even though that kind of isolation makes me feel worse. 

I think I might need some counseling or something for some of it.  I'm just at a loss sometimes, and as I get closer to age 40, I am realizing I must make some changes before I really do some damage.  Also, need some self discipline to stop reading so late into the night. 

I followed link above posted by Kryptos, a part of which mention Buckminister Fuller, and his proposed sleep cycle of having a 30 minute nap every 6 hours.... that sounds horrible.... but it may be more manageable than what I have been doing for such a long time now.

I could do much better on it if I cultivate better self discipline on the time I spend late at night.  Going to work on it.  Here it is 2am now and I still need to take a shower before I get in bed.... I better get to it.

Best of wishes for you OP, and others.


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This was an experiment.


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