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OfflineRJ Squirrel
Stranger
Male

Registered: 09/24/23
Posts: 3
Loc: WA
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: JustForToday] * 2
    #28485321 - 09/27/23 10:14 PM (3 months, 29 days ago)

Hello all,
New to the forum, I thought I would introduce myself here on this thread since I can relate. I have not had any alcohol in 28 months now, longest I have been sober since 1974. I Don't know where to start, other than saying that in the end, nothing or nobody can make any of us stop except ourselves. No judge, cop, spouse, relative, boss, best friend or pet mouse could make me
stop. I had to do it on my own. And it only took me 47 years of getting drunk every night to figure that out!


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Anonymous #24

Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: RJ Squirrel] * 1
    #28501444 - 10/12/23 09:59 AM (3 months, 15 days ago)

Still sober


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter
 User Gallery


Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: RJ Squirrel]
    #28501878 - 10/12/23 04:00 PM (3 months, 14 days ago)

Quote:

RJ Squirrel said:
Hello all,
New to the forum, I thought I would introduce myself here on this thread since I can relate. I have not had any alcohol in 28 months now, longest I have been sober since 1974. I Don't know where to start, other than saying that in the end, nothing or nobody can make any of us stop except ourselves. No judge, cop, spouse, relative, boss, best friend or pet mouse could make me
stop. I had to do it on my own. And it only took me 47 years of getting drunk every night to figure that out!




congrats


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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InvisibleSpectacle
NOGAME


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 371
Loc: DOX ME SKYDADDY
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa] * 1
    #28507982 - 10/17/23 11:01 AM (3 months, 10 days ago)

:devil: Sup yall. :blueangel:

Been feeling connected and directed lately
To a degree I never thought possible.
Ignis sanctus ambulabit mecum.

Lets get another 24 and make it count!

Have a blessed day.


--------------------
:blueangel:  ASTRAL777  :blueangel:
124 actually sucks DICK but mainly for the clout


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Invisiblesui
I love you.
Male User Gallery


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: JustForToday] * 1
    #28517200 - 10/24/23 10:13 PM (3 months, 2 days ago)

I found a cool Alanis club yesterday and a few friends of bill. :psycrankey:


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it."
Jimi Hendrix



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InvisibleNillion
Nobody

Registered: 04/14/22
Posts: 1,000
Loc: Terra Firma
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: JustForToday] * 4
    #28517649 - 10/25/23 11:33 AM (3 months, 2 days ago)

I drank, often heavily, for about 25 years or so.
I had my last drink in 2016.

Officially I have not quit. If I want a drink I'll have one but the idea disgusts me and I found that was the case well before I had my last beverage. So unofficially I'm done with it. I hated what it did to my ability to make intelligent choices. I hated how it affected my judgement and my relationships and health and bank account.

I hated how it clouded my mind to the point that I thought people who I was drinking with were allies or friends and I didn't realize that we were fellow addicts using one another to justify choices that we all knew, individually, were bad for us and those around us.

I really enjoyed some aspects of it. Brewing my own beer, for example, was something I love and I respect the art and science it involves still today.

I was doing temp work in Idaho a few years back and was assigned to a distillery and I found that after a couple of shifts that I just wasn't comfortable working for them. It felt like I was in a meth lab working on making something that exploits human weakness. The distillery kept calling me and trying to hire me permanently. I declined. The people who worked there all seemed pretty nice though, I like that. They were like a family.

Many of the people I know and even some I live with drink. We often have alcohol in the house but I remember that life and I also remember that I can't remember all of it because of blackouts I had. Too often I needed to ask people who were with me what I did. Nothing bad happened but I was very uncomfortable with not having memories of what I was doing when I drank.

Drinking took away the best parts of me from my loved ones during the most important times in our relationships. It messed up my being a father and it harmed every single relationship I ever had. I could not be there for anyone because I was there for the alcohol and though I thought it was there for me, it wasn't. I was a slave who thought that the very thing that was enslaving me was liberating me. It did tremendous damage to my ability to understand myself, those around me and what was actually important. I missed or failed to appreciate a lot of my adult life and am deeply ashamed of that on a personal level.

I started thinking about my drinking and realized I had a choice. I could keep going down the same path and let it continue to corrupt my heart and mind and body until I died or I could stop choosing to drink. I started drinking less to avoid the shakes and then got to the point that I stopped getting them altogether. I haven't bought or had a drink since.

I used to attend meetings and listen, before I quit.

I knew people who went pretty often as well and they would tell themselves and others that to quit drinking everyone needs supernatural help. None of these people I went to meetings with actually stopped drinking. Some of them, now, have already drank themselves to death and are no longer with us. All of them tried to stop and made it for days, or weeks, or months sometimes, before they made the choice to drink again. Often out of this idea that they will be triggered into drinking, that they should expect it to happen and that it was all part of the process of recovery. I have yet to see this approach have good success rate in the people I know, though I understand that for many people this is the only approach they know to try to deal with their addiction. I wish them luck.

As I mentioned above, in my mind I have the option of drinking still, in my head I have not actually quit but I am also well aware that drinking is not something I want to do. I also know that I am the kind of person who rarely stops at one drink. Sure I was able to have a drink or two a day at many points in my life, but most of the time I would get off of work and then drink until I passed out of worse I blacked out. I also partied a lot with other people who drank, often, with no real purpose other than finding a reason to drink.


I've faced other addictions as well.
I used meth for awhile.
I was addicted at one time to cocaine.
I was addicted to opiates as well.
During the height of some of that addiction I went to several NA and AA meetings. The message there was the same, that I can't stop unless I have paranormal help. I even believed it to be true at the time but just kept using.

I haven't touched any addictive drugs, other than caffeine, for several years now. I don't miss any of it or the lifestyle, nor the culture that addiction tends to involve.

Looking back on my past doesn't make me miss these drugs or their effects. It deeply saddens me that I gave so much of who and what I was to alcohol and drugs. I lost so much potential and opportunity because of my choices to use and the choices I made when I was using. I am now the sad shadow of the person I could have been. 

I think drugs should be legal and that it is immoral to criminalize addiction and drug use. I know that the war on drug addicts, which is what the war on drugs actually is, approach doesn't work and it causes tremendous harm to society, to addicts and to their loved ones. It just makes things worse and escalates the harm exponentially. It is also a way that the justice system makes money by exploiting addiction using fines and through the confiscation of drug money and valuable property. The system promotes drug use with one hand, including with informants who sell drugs with legal immunity, so that a steady supply of addicts can be targeted by the system with the other hand. This approach in not new either, the East India Trading company also sold opium while it profited from criminalizing it and enforcing laws against it. This two faced war on drugs approach we have today is thus not a new problem, it is one that is several hundred years old. Rehab is also a multi-billion dollar industry. Drug use and addiction are exploited for profit by those who claim to oppose it.

I think that sometimes approaches which are known to have very low success rates are used in rehab and people are sent to them by court order because it is known that many of them will return and continue to stay in the system and be a source of income to rehabs and the justice system. I think it is a rigged system concerned with profit... not recovery.

But this is just is my experience, observation and opinion formed from them. I know that there are people for whom such rehab and recovery services have worked for and there are those who clearly benefit from attending them. I am not one of those people and I know that quite well from experience.

Still... I am proud of anyone and everyone who can face their addiction and work towards sobriety and recovery, no matter what approach they take.

But I admit... if you tell me that I cannot quit using without help from a higher power it makes me want to slap you in the face and call you certain names. I haven't had a drink in 7 years. Believing in myself is a huge part of that.

Sorry about how personally offensive this might be to some people.
That is not my intention.
I wanted to share my experience with addiction and recovery and now I have.


Edited by Nillion (10/25/23 11:45 AM)


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter
 User Gallery


Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Nillion]
    #28517906 - 10/25/23 03:46 PM (3 months, 1 day ago)

damn son, that was long

congratulations on your continued sobriety

proof is in the pudding

different strokes for different folks

:coleman:


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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OfflineTNK
Pleasures of Africa
I'm a teapot Unread Journal User Gallery


Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 17 days
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa] * 4
    #28530933 - 11/05/23 05:17 PM (2 months, 21 days ago)

Just wanted to let y’all know today I have 1 year, 9 months and 18 days.

I spent a decade on heroin, shit was killing me and I have a new lease on life. I made so many mistakes but I have the chance to make some of them right.

I’m always here if anyone wants to talk about sobriety.

Shoot me a pm. :pm:


--------------------
Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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Offlinegopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 hours, 37 minutes
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TNK]
    #28532988 - 11/07/23 01:28 PM (2 months, 19 days ago)

Oh yeah, didnt you post a pic and someone said the heroin pickled you, I remember that thread I think

Congrats on the almost 2 years


--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.

My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy

:kratom:


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OfflineTNK
Pleasures of Africa
I'm a teapot Unread Journal User Gallery


Registered: 01/30/10
Posts: 14,237
Loc: I AM THUNDERBOT
Last seen: 1 month, 17 days
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: gopher]
    #28534041 - 11/08/23 09:49 AM (2 months, 19 days ago)

Yeah I look young af but I’m starting to grow up a little bit, I still look 19 at 30 tho


--------------------
Edited by TNK (02/22/22 22:22 PM)


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OfflineAlifebuggin
Stranger

Registered: 02/27/21
Posts: 69
Last seen: 1 month, 7 days
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TNK]
    #28535210 - 11/09/23 07:38 AM (2 months, 18 days ago)

Hey everyone!!

Really glad to find this thread/meeting here! I recently hit the 12yr mark from alcohol/drugs. But I want to say congratulations to everyone here for the desire to get sober no matter what! I look forward to being part of this community here and lending out my hand anytime anywhere anyone of you may need it! Keep on the path ☯️


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OfflineskOsH
Functionally dysfunctional
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/03/19
Posts: 1,372
Loc: the PNW
Last seen: 1 day, 8 hours
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Alifebuggin]
    #28540208 - 11/12/23 12:14 PM (2 months, 15 days ago)

I have an alcohol problem. Kind of. It's becoming expensive to keep having this problem

But I probably drank every day for five years, until summer of 2018, when I got sober.

My sobriety broke this year due to a lazy coworker that made me frustrated that they were fired, or docked pay, or not giving me a raise, etc. So I almost also had 5 years of consecutive sobriety. Although I did break my sobriety a couple months ago, I definitely have not been drinking as much as I used to. Usually it's maybe once a week. But I binge drink, which makes it easier for me to get alcohol poisoning

I nearly killed myself with alcohol last time, because of binging. I legit gave myself such bad alcohol poisoning that I literally thought I was going to die. This was very recently....and I still can't stop myself from buying alcohol. Idk why. It's not that great of a drug, but it's addictive asf


Edited by skOsH (11/12/23 12:16 PM)


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Invisibledoolhoofd
doolhoofd.com
Male User Gallery


Registered: 12/22/22
Posts: 353
Loc: Dorsia
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: skOsH]
    #28549174 - 11/19/23 01:16 PM (2 months, 7 days ago)

Don't know if this is helpful to anyone in any way, but I genuinely hate being drunk.
For me, being drunk is about the farthest thing away from "fun" as anything can get, barring a bad trip.

I know, I know. Nobody cares.
Never mind. I'll see myself out.


--------------------
Penny: 'What are you and Professor FussyFace up to tonight?'
Leonard: "Star Wars on Blu-ray."
Penny: 'Haven't you seen that movie like, a thousand times?'
Leonard: "Not on Blu-ray. Only twice on Blu-ray."
Penny: 'Oh, Leonard...'
Leonard: "I know. It's high-resolution sadness."
- The Big Bang Theory, S07E09


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OfflinetheRealrollforever
I DID-DENT
 User Gallery


Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 1 day, 19 hours
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: doolhoofd] * 2
    #28549216 - 11/19/23 02:12 PM (2 months, 7 days ago)

It’s not about fun it’s about escaping reality, duh.


--------------------


sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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OfflineMilleresque
Stranger
Registered: 04/10/22
Posts: 326
Last seen: 2 days, 1 hour
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: theRealrollforever] * 2
    #28550881 - 11/20/23 09:43 PM (2 months, 6 days ago)

I don’t want to sound like a broken record anymore.

I’m just broken and stuck on repeat.

From a vibrant, perceptive, creative, passionate and drive. Younger man (albeit one who had a “problem”) I have become terrified of myself of late; aware only of the depressive and or anxious psychological weather, losing my proverbial shit whilst sober around the few friends I have in my life and enduring a fucking horrid, evil, annihilating cycle born of and cured by this most disgusting of drugs.

I’m drinking now. This is the opposite of anything enjoyable.

I’ve been an alcoholic for a long time. I’ve failed detox twice due to crippling anxiety/ptsd when it comes to other peoples behaviour.  I’ve lost all ability to create or adventure without someone else making the plan and picking me up. I am alone nine nights out of ten. 

And I know alcohol isn’t the only problem. It’s the problem I cause by using it to ignore the other problems. But it has soiled and ruined so much.  I’m so tired. I sleep like 4-5 hrs a night lately.

And for the first time ever I’m beginning to question the capacity of my sanity to endure what I’m doing to it.  If I got deep and honest with you I’d burst into tears.  I’ll cry later—probably at 2am when I wake up with no idea of what happened and my heart hammering at 120 bpm between my ears.

Yesterday was a good day off spent by a waterfall until I started drinking at 3pm.  Every day was better than how it ended after I drank. Every day.  I’ve lost so much and I know I’ll lose more.  It’s like there’s some—thing that is actively trying to destroy me, and I’ve a million promises I broke to myself over the past 18 years to show for all of this solitude and repetition and destruction.  Just broken vows, ruined self belief, trust in others and myself evaporated.

Gah this is truly pathetic.  I’ve been in denial for a long time re AA. I’ve been to a several meetings over the last few years, but given my upbringing I could never dodge the irksome “god” thing. I thought my higher power might be the “realm of the psychedelic trip”—that wellspring of so many ideas and encouragement and learning—but because of alcohol I haven’t been able to take more than 0.3g for the last 18 months.  I get to the day and find every excuse to duck the mirror and instead dive into the distillery. 
    I’ve actually been praying things are so bad right now, and all I hear is myself answering “it’s all on you. God is fucking waay too busy helping people who deserve it.”  But then I leave it up to myself and I’ll try and drown me in beer and wine and vodka.

Ahhh shroomery, surely this has to be just another rock bottom. I need to get to an AA meeting. I won’t today. I can’t drive today. No one’s coming to pick me up or sit beside me. I don’t blame them. I’ll hold on—I just deeply need this all to change, as soon as possible.

Sorry, I’m hopeless and yet I know I’m such a decent soul. Just needed to bleed for a minute.

Sorry, sorry.


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter
 User Gallery


Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Milleresque]
    #28570115 - 12/05/23 03:51 PM (1 month, 22 days ago)

hope youre doing better bro


--------------------
[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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OfflineSpoonerist
Stranger
Registered: 12/13/23
Posts: 1
Last seen: 1 month, 11 days
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: TheFakeSunRa] * 2
    #28586038 - 12/16/23 08:26 PM (1 month, 11 days ago)

Hello all,

I’m glad to see this topic! I collected my 9 year chip yesterday!

Cheers,

Spoon


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InvisibleSpectacle
NOGAME


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 371
Loc: DOX ME SKYDADDY
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Spoonerist]
    #28592570 - 12/21/23 09:50 AM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Spoonerist said:
Hello all,

I’m glad to see this topic! I collected my 9 year chip yesterday!

Cheers,

Spoon




An excellent first post.
Good show chap. I do say!
:teabird:
Welcome 2 shroomery gz on 9yrs!!!
<3


--------------------
:blueangel:  ASTRAL777  :blueangel:
124 actually sucks DICK but mainly for the clout


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OfflineGuyOnaBuffalo
I'm On A Buffalo!
Male
Registered: 08/26/23
Posts: 86
Last seen: 4 days, 19 hours
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: Milleresque]
    #28597920 - 12/25/23 07:42 PM (1 month, 2 days ago)

You're not alone.


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InvisibleSpectacle
NOGAME


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 371
Loc: DOX ME SKYDADDY
Re: Alcoholics Anonymous [Re: GuyOnaBuffalo]
    #28598958 - 12/26/23 07:24 PM (1 month, 1 day ago)

Went out after 13 months clean.
Shot meth for a week, it was pretty terrible but brought up some things I hadn't been dealing with primarily related to identity how I see myself , where/who I want to be and how to get there.
Was homeless for a week up here until I got into a new program, doing native American based outpatient which fits more into my spiritual views.
Going to meetings again, primarily my Friday night pagan 12 step meeting of which there are few, lucky to have one in the area. Love, love, love that meeting and the community I am building there.
I struggle with the linear AA / NA approach and am glad to see recovery blossoming into a lot of different pathways,  though I will say I would not have gotten that 13 months without taking the suggestions and going to AA 1st.

TL;DR
I relapsed, necessary.  New date 12/9. Glad I survived. Everything worked out.

Hope everyone is well


--------------------
:blueangel:  ASTRAL777  :blueangel:
124 actually sucks DICK but mainly for the clout


Edited by Spectacle (12/26/23 07:25 PM)


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