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asterix
L7
Registered: 12/26/21
Posts: 188
Last seen: 21 hours, 22 minutes
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Male who can't come
#28581541 - 12/13/23 04:32 PM (1 month, 15 days ago) |
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Well shit. It finally happened to me.
Im doing it with my partner again, and can't come.
Her and I have been together for a long time, we used to have the most amazing sex life, then she lost her libido. (she's had some incredible trauma in her life, and experiences some bizarre psychology because it)
This went on for a few years. I love her very much and could never leave her, she has been through some incredible shit with me and stayed by my side, so I let her be and we had a platonic relationship for awhile. (almost 4 years).
During that time, I would satisfy myself with porn and masturbation. A lot. Like, 3-5 times a day usually. Somedays even more. I have always had an enormous sex drive and thought sex play is the funnest activity in existence.
Anyways, she finally snapped out of it a few days ago, and we have been fucking and playing daily. Really good fucking and play, she's coming lots and doing everything for me the way I like it, but I can't come.
I have heard that too much exposure to porn can fuck guys up this way. I never believed it. But, now here I am.
So anyways, Ive decided to quit the porn (and masturbation) in an attempt to return to my old self. It's been a few days, my balls are sore they are so full of sperm, but they won't unload for her.
She seems quite understanding and patient with me, which Im grateful for.
I hope I can get it back.
Anybody been down this road?
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AspectOfTheCreator
Mastering the Art of Success



Registered: 12/07/22
Posts: 1,264
Last seen: 11 minutes, 17 seconds
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Re: Male who can't come [Re: asterix]
#28581557 - 12/13/23 04:50 PM (1 month, 15 days ago) |
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I was going to warn you about the porn until you mentioned it yourself. Im well acquainted with the porn succubus myself. Give it up and youll be fine. Its infinitely easier to give up if you have a partner.
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kyu
Psychonaughty

Registered: 10/14/12
Posts: 334
Last seen: 5 days, 10 hours
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Re: Male who can't come [Re: asterix] 1
#28581647 - 12/13/23 05:52 PM (1 month, 15 days ago) |
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Well yes, I've noticed that pussy needs some getting used to after a dry spell.
So, how about you film your lovemaking and watch your own porn during the next lovemaking? Or, watch it while she gives you a handjob. Or just jerk off to it together.
Alternatively, - Try jerking off in different positions like standing straight - Try jerking off to her - Try jerking off with a condom if you're using them. - Have some fleshlight practice - Try more relaxing positions like cowgirl - Try some gentle anal play. As weird as it may seem, a finger or a small plug up a man's ass during sex can be reeeeally helpful. - Try some thick lube to increase stimulation.
Like, generally, start where you are now and patiently work towards the new habits through some middle ground. IMO, blaming porn is bad, because as long as you believe porn damaged you, you'll treat any difficulties as another proof that there's something wrong with you. There's not. You just spend 4 years repeating a very specific routine. Sex is quite different from masturbation. Different position and movements, gentler texture, different dick angle, then there's the stress of satisfying someone else, and it's even trickier if you're using condoms. So, being a bit rusty at this point makes perfect sense. Unlike frustration and anxiety - fuck that. Just consider yourself a virgin again and see what works for you, learn to relax and enjoy etc.
P.S. If you decide to film your sex, you're welcome to DM me your video. P.P.S Congrats on staying faithful for four years with such libido.
-------------------- You gave me a wonderful, wonderful world, And you gave me eyes to see it, And you gave me LSD to open them.
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AspectOfTheCreator
Mastering the Art of Success



Registered: 12/07/22
Posts: 1,264
Last seen: 11 minutes, 17 seconds
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Re: Male who can't come [Re: kyu] 1
#28581775 - 12/13/23 07:26 PM (1 month, 14 days ago) |
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Thats almost all terrible advice. Stay away from masturbation all together. Chances are if youve been jackin it a lot you have atleast a mild case of death grip. Hence your inability to cum. Masturbation will only reinforce it.
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
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Re: Male who can't come [Re: asterix] 2
#28583713 - 12/15/23 09:52 AM (1 month, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
kyu said: .. IMO, blaming porn is bad, because as long as you believe porn damaged you, you'll treat any difficulties as another proof that there's something wrong with you. There's not. You just spent 4 years repeating a very specific routine. ...
QFT
You clearly don't have anything physically wrong with you if you can get off on your own, so it's most likely just a mental block.
Just relax and keep playing with her, you'll find what works.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Male who can't come [Re: asterix]
#28585507 - 12/16/23 03:00 PM (1 month, 12 days ago) |
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Loosen your grip.
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