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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
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Re: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover [Re: Joh.Ke] 2
#28577336 - 12/10/23 04:19 PM (1 month, 18 days ago) |
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Today actually marks a year of being single.
Reflecting on it all, I think it's a positive and mature perspective to have no regrets about a past relationship, especially one that lasted for five years. Acknowledging the growth and experiences gained, both individually and as a couple, I think, is a healthy way to approach such reflections.
Not having regrets doesn't diminish the significance of the relationship; instead, it reflects a level of acceptance and understanding that people change, and relationships evolve.
It's truly valuable to approach the end of a relationship with gratitude and without animosity or disrespect. Ending things amicably can help both individuals move forward with a sense of closure and respect for the time spent together. This positive outlook can contribute to healthier emotional well-being and pave the way for future relationships.
I guess I'm just reflecting on our different paths to self recovery, and that I'm grateful that the relationship ended the way it did, without animosity or disrespect like often happens.
That said, we had trust, just space to grow in communicating our needs. I still know she's a capable, smart and beautiful woman, I still respect her, in fact, it's because I respected her I reached the point of recognising that my continued distance would hurt her more than ending things as they were.
It's nice to not have anything bad to say about an ex, I haven't contacted her since and don't intend to. I think that moving on means moving on, and that an on and off relationship is an open relationship that hasn't quite made the label, or between there and friends with benefits.
Breakups can indeed affect individuals differently, and the varying paths to recovery are normal. It's important to remember that people cope and heal at their own pace. Everyone has their unique way of processing emotions and moving forward.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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pslyke
fantasmagoric



Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 4,098
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Re: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover [Re: Joh.Ke] 1
#28577397 - 12/10/23 04:54 PM (1 month, 18 days ago) |
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Quote:
Joh.Ke said:
Quote:
pslyke said: Na, if you really ever loved that person it wouldn't have happened.
Not true....
It is possible to fall in love with more than one person. Or at least such is the case for some people. Polyamory is a thing for a reason.
I'm not against polyamory as long as those involved know that they are. Betrayal is betrayal whether in a monogamous relationship or polyamorous. All relationships have boundaries that those in them must understand and adhere to-- spoken or implied. If the OP was in a polyamorous relationship they would not have been asking the question that they posed. This is not an academic argument for people to spar over, it is someone's happiness or the devastation that goes along with their loved one breaking their heart.
-------------------- "What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein "The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante
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Joh.Ke
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/23
Posts: 353
Last seen: 30 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover [Re: pslyke]
#28577431 - 12/10/23 05:12 PM (1 month, 18 days ago) |
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Quote:
pslyke said:
Quote:
Joh.Ke said:
Quote:
pslyke said: Na, if you really ever loved that person it wouldn't have happened.
Not true....
It is possible to fall in love with more than one person. Or at least such is the case for some people. Polyamory is a thing for a reason.
I'm not against polyamory as long as those involved know that they are. Betrayal is betrayal whether in a monogamous relationship or polyamorous. All relationships have boundaries that those in them must understand and adhere to-- spoken or implied. If the OP was in a polyamorous relationship they would not have been asking the question that they posed. This is not an academic argument for people to spar over, it is someone's happiness or the devastation that goes along with their loved one breaking their heart.
This is all true and I agree, however, sometimes people can't help falling in love with another person. They didn't plan on it and they didn't do it to hurt their partner. And its not because they didn't love their partner enough. That's what I am trying to say.
Edited by Joh.Ke (12/10/23 05:13 PM)
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sudly
Darwin's stagger

Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,798
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Re: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover [Re: Joh.Ke]
#28577445 - 12/10/23 05:18 PM (1 month, 18 days ago) |
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It's all about good communication and respecting boundaries, if you cross those without informing your partner or leaving them, then it's on you.
People can fall in love with others even while in a relationship with someone else, but issues arise in hiding that or not being open about the reality of your needs or happenstance.
It's hard to leave someone, it's very hard to have a discussion about opening an existing relationship, but it's worse in my opinion to not let the existing partner have a voice in making those decisions.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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