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Anonymous #1

My wife can't take deep penetration
    #28576557 - 12/10/23 02:22 AM (1 month, 18 days ago)

My penis is by no means massive but my wife can't take it all the way. I've never had this problem with another woman before but it causes my wife pain and she never fully opens her legs and let me pentrate her to the fullest.

I don't know what yo do. When I bring it up with her, she says I'm being selfish and turns it on me asking why my need is more important than hers.

We had a baby a year ago and I was hoping this would stretch her out and it would be better after but it hasn't improved at all.

When we are having sex it I feel her constantly trying to stop me from penetrating deep and it turns me off straight away because it feels forced and doesn't feel consensual.

I have had smaller girls in the past but they kind of stretch out and it comes good. I thought this would get better but it hasn't and talking about it always ends in an argument.

I've now started cheating. Every girl that I've fucked since, wants it hard and deep. My wife is loosing me. I don't want to fuck her anymore  I want the girls that crave my dick deep.

I wish I could have the same kind of sex with my wife. It would make me so happy.


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Anonymous #2

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #28576576 - 12/10/23 03:27 AM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Not saying there’s something wrong with what you’re doing necessarily.
But the vagina can accommodate if you give it time to adjust.
I have personally had that issue. Just take it really slow at the beginning. And you should be able to get all the way in. Just don’t go too fast. Otherwise, you will be punching her cervix.

:edit
So I just saw the rest of it where you said you cheated on your wife. And you want people that thirst for your dick. So that is your fault. She probably can tell that you aren’t into it. Which isn’t a good sign. You probably aren’t doing any foreplay. Because you just want to shove it in there.
Go back to start. Skip the next two turns.
:jokerclap:


Edited by Anonymous (12/10/23 05:57 AM)


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Anonymous #3

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #2] * 3
    #28576595 - 12/10/23 04:43 AM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Has she discussed this with her doctor? It could be a physical condition, psychological, or both. In either case, it may require treatment.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaginismus/#:~:text=Vaginismus%20is%20the%20body's%20automatic,previously%20enjoyed%20painless%20penetrative%20sex.


Edited by Anonymous (12/10/23 04:44 AM)


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Anonymous #4

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #28576605 - 12/10/23 05:09 AM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Assuming the post from the OP is not some kind of weird fetish...

1. Maybe she's not aroused.

2. Is she on a SSRI drug? Those kill libido and prevent vaginal wetness.

3. You could try lube and "ballooning" which means to put in your penis when it's barely erect but hard enough to penetrate into her vagina. Then let the erection get bigger while inside of her.


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Anonymous #3

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #28576614 - 12/10/23 05:30 AM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Hormonal birth control can also kill the libido completely in some women. Some women become practically asexual with the pill.


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Anonymous #5

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #3] * 1
    #28576624 - 12/10/23 05:53 AM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:My wife is loosing me.



Maybe your marriage can be saved, but it sounds like you already lost her a long time ago. :shrug:


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Anonymous #6

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28576679 - 12/10/23 07:18 AM (1 month, 18 days ago)

First guess is she's not aroused.

You don't get looser from birth. Everything goes right back.

If you're cheating on her, what is the point?  At this point I feel bad for her.

She probably needs more foreplay to get aroused. A different lube. And if if it persists then see her obgyn.

Only time I feel pain is when not aroused.

Has she ever been able to take it all?

If you're already cheating then set her and your child up. If you checked out already... even if she remedies this. You'll find something else. You are not committed.

Perhaps you are being selfish.
It's not like you're not having sex.
Maybe something for you to explore with yourself.


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Anonymous #7

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #28576851 - 12/10/23 10:35 AM (1 month, 18 days ago)

A wife that shuts down communication about important things doesn't give a shit about the marriage.
OP tried talking to her but she gets mad so I'd say the cheating is justified.  If you can't listen to your spouse there is no working thru things and she's shown her lack of concern enough

It's strange (and a bad sign) that she calls you selfish while she's the one being selfish and unwilling to discuss a very serious relationship issue.  If she doesn't care about making sex better for herself that's one thing, but saying you've gotta deal with the substandard sex is bullshit.  My wife refuses to participate in any discussion that could help resolve an issue also, literally any issue, every damn one.  I know as a man I'm supposed to wanna fuck her regardless, and for a long time I'd compartmentalize her lack of concern for me and fuck her (plus I'd get horny at times), but for a long time now I don't approach her unless I'm good and drunk

In my younger days, I dated a girl who was very sweet and fun to hang out with.  She had a good bit of potential, but when she sucked dick you could tell she didn't want to.  I remember telling her to look at me once while giving me a blowjob.  She had the same look that a dog does when you see that it shit on the floor...pure shame and disgust. I ALMOST lost my wood and had her stop I could fuck her and not see that look.  I love eating pussy and can't understand how someone wouldn't enthusiastically give as much pleasure as possible. 

Some of these responses are pretty dumb and I'm sure are coming from woke youngsters, programmed by tiktok to assume that every issue is the man's fault, and that have never been in an actual relationship with a woman, much less a marriage. 

I'm gonna guess her issue is mental and not physical.  Pussies are really stretchy and even if there is physical discomfort it could be mental in nature.

Sometimes a woman will pretend there is a physical issue as an excuse and way out of discussing the mental issue.  I've known women that do similar things.  Could be she's a closet lesbian and dick just grosses her out, or could be she was diddled as a child, or there's another man and she doesn't feel like she can outright say no to sex so she's found a way to make it very unappealing to you, or all of the above...

Good on you Anon 1 for looking out for yourself.  She was supposed to, but since she isn't and won't talk to you, there's no reason for you to go uncared for

So...where do you find these other women? Asking for a friend...
:mentos:


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Anonymous #1

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #28576964 - 12/10/23 12:23 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

To the replies suggesting that this requires more foreplay. I am an experienced and selfless lover. I never kept count bet I would be well into triple digits. I haven't experienced this before.

It's not a tightness or dryness issue. It is not foreplay. Foreplay starts with being nice, helping around the house like cooking, cleaning, providing, taking the baby out to give some time and space, complimenting, touching, kissing.... I know what I'm doing. I'm a 40 year old man. Not a 25 year old kid.

The issue is that when im fucking her she can't take it deep. Her pussy gets all swole and juicy and my dick slips straight in but when I start to dig deep, it causes her pain. She doesnt put her legs behind her ears, she does the opposite, tries to put them out straight and squeeze them together to stop me. I ask, she says it hurts in deep like I'm stabbing her guts with my dick. Hurts in all the positions because for me, I want to get it in deep. All the way to the brim.

To anyone thinking, why would I marry someone uncompatable sexually... I had spent a good part of my 30s fucking around, having a good time.i had multiple girls on the go that would partake in threesomes and visit swjngers clubs with Me. It was a wild time but a toxic one too and after almost a decade of fucking like crazy, boozing, druging and feeling like a pornstar, I was tired. Exhausted. I need a break from it all.

I switched it up . I found a sweet girl. Not a party girl. A mother in the making. She was inexperienced in bed but I thought we could always improve the sex. Heck, sex just gets better if you're open. It's just not working out that way for me atm.


Edited by Anonymous (12/10/23 12:35 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #28576979 - 12/10/23 12:32 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #7 said:

So...where do you find these other women? Asking for a friend...
:mentos:





I've still got a few digits from back in the day. A few girls that told me the sex was so good that they would never say no to me. So lucky. I thought it was just pillow talk but when I cast a my line they jumped at the opportunity.

The cheating sex deserves a thread of its own lol.


Edited by Anonymous (12/10/23 12:36 PM)


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Anonymous #2

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28576984 - 12/10/23 12:35 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Well. You are cheating on them.
So I don’t feel like intimacy is really there.
You should break up with them. Because you don’t actually like them. That’s probably why you’re cheating on them.
It really bothers me that you’ve been cheating on
“a really sweet girl“
Are you trying to hurt them?
Because it seems like you’ve not changed. You still want that same lifestyle. But you’re making it someone else’s fault.

:picard:
Why did you stop posting anonymously?


Edited by Anonymous (12/10/23 12:42 PM)


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Anonymous #7

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28576998 - 12/10/23 12:43 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
To the replies suggesting that this requires more foreplay. I am an experienced and selfless lover.





I knew it. These kids don’t know what they’re talking about


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Anonymous #8

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #28577000 - 12/10/23 12:44 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Could be anatomical issue such as retroversion where the cervix tips backwards. This can cause pain with deeper penetration. Could also be a pelvic floor issue or endometriosis.

I have retroeversion that causes pain with deep penetration moreso at certain times in my cycle with certain positions, but when I was younger, there was no rhyme or reason to it. 

Not all women like to be fucked hard and fast. I've spoken to many women who aren't into this and even antiverted women find this to be painful, especially if there isn't adequate foreplay.

When you bring it up with her, what is your approach?

I had a boyfriend who was like this when I was in my early 20s. He only wanted  to fuck me in a way that was painful for me. (Deep and fast). It got to a point where I wouldn't be able to look forward to the sex and therefor wouldn't be able to become aroused, which compounded the problem.

When I tried to talk about it with him he became angry. He made it clear that his need to feel pleasure was more important than my need to not feel pain.

I've found lots of men since then with whom I share sexual compatability and who don't ask me to do things that are painful for me.

Maybe you need a divorce. If you've already stepped out anyway, let her find someone she enjoys sex with too.


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Anonymous #2

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #8] * 1
    #28577008 - 12/10/23 12:50 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Maybe OP can tamper with the brakes on her car?

They have suggested that before…

Break up with this person.
Because you don’t know how to have sex with her. While you’re cheating on her.
:jokerclap:


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Anonymous #7

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #28577127 - 12/10/23 02:10 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Wow this thread… strange how many people here are in or have been in relationships where the other person gets angry or shuts down when we try to discuss issues to make things better. What a sad sad thing. Seems like if people here just hooked up we’d have better relationships because I think we move got a lot of good hearted people here.

As for cutting the brakes comment, a few years ago I overheard my spouse and step child saying “I wish we could just get rid of him and get away with it”. The other one said “I know”
The next day my brakes blew out while I was driving but thanks to some quick reflexes and not panicking I managed to avoid hitting anything
Some say there is no such thing as coincidence…


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Anonymous #8

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #28577220 - 12/10/23 03:01 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

OP didn't say his partner won't discuss it- he said she "turns it around on him and asks why he's being selfish." 

That's still a discussion and if my partner repeatedly complained that I did not want to do something that was painful for  me, I would feel my partner was selfish too. (In fact when I did have this very situation going on that is how I felt.)

If the discussions they're having always ends up being an argument, marriage counseling would be the next step. They need someone to help them discuss this more productively.

There's a big difference between someone not wanting to do something because they don't like it and not wanting to do something because it physically causes them pain.

OP hasn't yet told us how he is approaching this matter and what part he is bringing up. Is he brining up that she won't do something he wants despite the fact that is causes her physical pain or is he gently suggesting there may be something going on with her health and perhaps they should schedule a doctor's appointment?

Either way he chose to marry someone he was already having incompatibility issues with and when things didn't change his decision was to step out after he's saddled her with a child.

I don't really see his stance as a good intentioned one if he's stepping out on his wife because the way wants to fuck physically hurts her, even though she still does have sex with him.

I don't think there's any saving this relationship and even if her issues resolved, if the sex got better for OP and his wife, if she found out he stepped out she'll probably never trust him again anyways.


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Anonymous #7

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #28577245 - 12/10/23 03:22 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #8 said:
OP didn't say his partner won't discuss it- he said she "turns it around on him and asks why he's being selfish." 




Turning it around and calling someone selfish for trying to discuss things is the same as refusing to discuss it

“ OP hasn't yet told us how he is approaching this matter and what part he is bringing up. Is he brining up that she won't do something he wants despite the fact that is causes her physical pain or is he gently suggesting there may be something going on with her health and perhaps they should schedule a doctor's appointment? ”

Again, I fail to see the difference between these two things. Clearly, addressing the issue would’ve been better for both of them. Sounds like he tried and she wasn’t interested in making things better. She can make the choice to not fix herself if she doesn’t care to, but that decision effects the quality of his sex life and there’s nothing he can do to force her to get checked out


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Anonymous #1

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #8] * 1
    #28577298 - 12/10/23 03:59 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #8 said:
Could be anatomical such as retroversion where the cervix tips backwards. This can cause pain with deeper penetration. Could also be a pelvic floor issue or endometriosis.

I have retroeversion that causes pain with deep penetration moreso at certain times in my cycle with certain positions, but when I was younger, there was no rhyme or reason to it. 

Not all women like to be fucked hard and fast. I've spoken to many women who aren't into this and even antiverted women find this to be painful, especially if there isn't adequate foreplay.

When you bring it up with her, what is your approach?

I had a boyfriend who was like this when I was in my early 20s. He only wanted  to fuck me in a way that was painful for me. (Deep and fast). It got to a point where I wouldn't be able to look forward to the sex and therefor wouldn't be able to become aroused, which compounded the problem.

When I tried to talk about it with him he became angry. He made it clear that his need to feel pleasure was more important than my need to not feel pain.

I've found lots of men since then with whom I share sexual compatability and who don't ask me to do things that are painful for me.

Maybe you need a divorce. If you've already stepped out anyway, let her find someone she enjoys sex with too.




So after reading a few replies I've spoken to her about it again with better communication. Usually when I bring it up, it's in the moment that she says it hurts. She hasn't wanted to talk about it in that moment because it feels like i was attacking her.

So she does have an anatomical "hurdle". Her cervix does indeed tip backwards. This means a lot of positions are painful and explains why she moves a certain way (away from me) during sex and why we do it in positions that we cant get deep penetration. She also says my penis is large and compounds the situation.

Its not a hard and fast thing it is a depth thing. When im digging in her, she doesn't like it. I try to push the head of my dick against whatever I can feel in there. It feels good for me but I'm pushing on her cervix it's painful. She actually has to see the box doctor today so she is going to discuss it with her so we can both better understand the situation.


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Anonymous #6

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #28577316 - 12/10/23 04:10 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

That's good
You talked


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Anonymous #7

Re: My wife can't take deep penetration [Re: Anonymous #6] * 1
    #28577364 - 12/10/23 04:32 PM (1 month, 18 days ago)

Nice. I’m glad you had a productive talk
I was gonna suggest DSHSB but your plan sounds better


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